It Doesn't Matter What I Want
by Prettie Parker
Summary: What if Haley's dad was a hunter too? What if he knew John? What if he didn't feel he could care for Haley on the road? What if he left her with the Winchester's? What if I suck at summaries? Just read it...
1. Chapter 1

It Doesn't Matter What I Need

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_You've been on a road_

_I don't know where it goes or where it leads_

Haley stood in the doorway of the cheap, tacky motel. Fear raced in her chest. Apprehension thick in her veins, but she tried not to show it. Always wanting to be strong, though her legs felt like they should quake with the weight of her. Her 'Hello Kitty' duffle bag with pink and yellow piping along the edges was clutched tightly in her hands against her chest. Haley's eyes were glued to her hands, gripping that bag for her life.

She could feel her father's secure hands on her shoulders. His reassuring grip, gave her tiny shoulders a squeeze. Leaning down to her ear, his rough breath hit her neck.

"Go have a seat Haley." He softly instructed.

Nerves shook harder inside but Haley didn't show it. Unable to speak she gave a slight nod and forced her legs to work.

Staring at the dingy carpet, Haley walked to the table. 1960's linoleum top, colored fire truck red. The chair made of plastic and metal, the plastic cushion the same distasteful red as the table top, Haley took a seat.

Bag securely in her hands, Haley held onto it with everything she was holding inside. Refusing to look at the others seated around the table, her eyes fell to her father across the room with his new friend, John.

Watching them, Haley tried to pick up on their conversation.

The burly men stood together deep in conversation. She could only make out a little. "Does she know?" John, the man she had just met asked her father.

Sadness to her father's eyes, he nodded briefly. "I haven't told her but she knows. I told you how she picks up on things. Don't let it worry you, her mother was like that. I checked into it, nothing dark, just something in the blood."

Scratching the whiskers on his cheek, John nodded with understanding. His soft brown eyes finally falling back to the girl. Haley's father's eyes followed with John's lead.

They spotted the young girl, sitting quietly at the table. Fear in her orbs as she stared over at the men silently, with big, brown all knowing eyes.

Wrapping an arm around John's shoulder, Jimmy, Haley's father turned John the other way. Their backs to Haley, so she couldn't hear them.

Haley's eyes dropped back to her bag, as she picked at a loose string along the edge.

Lost in her own worried thoughts, Haley was pulled free as a kind voice filled her ears.

"You hungry?" The young boy beside her questioned.

His high pitch voice filled her ears and finally Haley glanced at the other children at the table. Her eyes falling to the boy who spoke to her first, he appeared about her age. He had scruffy brown hair, button nose and big eyes but they were soft like a puppy. Looking into those big brown eyes, Haley felt her nerves lessen. She could sense he was gentle, it oozed off him. Too shy to speak, Haley shook her head no in response.

Staring at her intently, Sammy was surprised to be around another kid. She captivated his attention, with her long brown hair and matching dark eyes. Sammy felt like she could see right into him, but the softness of her face put him at ease with that. In fact she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

"Come on." Sammy pushed. "It's not the best but my brother Dean made it. Here you can have mine." He offered before shoving his plastic bowl of alphabet soup in front of her.

Haley stared at the bowl for a moment before the other boy finally spoke up.

_You've been in a cage_

_Throw you to the wind you fly away_

"Sammy!" He barked, clearly the older brother. This boy's voice was rough, having already passed puberty. "You have to eat your dinner." Dean growled. With short blonde hair and piercing green eyes that shot your gut. He was edgy and cute if you were his age but Haley didn't see him that way.

"She needs to eat too." Sammy shot back, concern in his eyes, always worried about others.

"Fine." Dean barked again, full of teen angst. "She can have mine but you have to eat." He demanded, looking after his little brother. Without letting Sammy agree, the older boy pulled the bowl from in front of Haley and pushed it back in front of Sammy. Before promptly pushing his own half empty bowl in front of her.

The older one made Haley nervous, rattled her bones. She could sense he didn't want her here. Not wanting to irritate him more, Haley shook her head no, but wouldn't look at him. Her voice finally squeaking out in a high pitched whisper. "Not hungry." Hunched in her chair, Haley tried to keep to herself.

"Fine, whatever." Dean scowled with a roll of his eyes, before yanking his bowl back in front of him.

"I'm Sammy, that's Dean." The young boy spoke up again, introducing himself. It was plain to see he was naturally polite and the brothers were polar opposites.

Forcing a smile, she responded back quietly. "Haley."

Haley looked over just in time to see her father coming to her, sadness consuming his tired eyes. Kneeling down in front of her, Jimmy gently wrapped his hands around his baby's cheeks, cupping her face.

His face was round and jolly but the grown in stubble and wrinkles around his eyes made him look harder, Haley new he was anything but hard.

His hands felt worn and rough but reassuring in their familiarity. Haley stared into her Dad's eyes, mirroring his sadness.

"I gotta go baby but you're going to stay here with John and the boys for a few days." Her father finally admitted the truth she had already known in her heart. Earlier this morning, when her father told her to pack all her stuff, Haley knew she was going somewhere. When he didn't pack, Haley knew she was going alone.

Uncontrollable tears filled her eyes as her father tried to say goodbye and leave her with strangers. Shaking her head frantically from side to side, Haley protested.

Holding her face steady, her father silently nodded. Licking his lips he spoke. "I won't be gone long and I'll call you every day but I can't take you with me." He lied with a weak smile.

"No," Haley cried out quietly, a tear finally slipping down her cheek, as the young girl's heart cracked.

Wiping her shed tear from her plump cheek, her father nodded again. "Remember what we talked about. You're going to be strong and you're going to listen to John." Jimmy explained his expectations gently, never leaving her eyes as his own threatened to break. Nothing had ever been harder then leaving his baby girl. Only thing that came close was watching his wife walk out their door at midnight and never return.

"Dad," Haley called as her heart broke into pieces, more tears falling from her shattered heart.

"I love you Haley." Her father said, making sure she knew. Then as the tears began to fill his eyes, Jimmy quickly leaned in and placed a kissed upon her forehead. Before she could respond, he stood. Turning from her, he promptly walked out the door.

Leaving Haley broken and abandoned yet again.

_It doesn't matter if I cry, doesn't matter if I bleed  
Feel the sting of tears  
Falling on this face you've loved for years_

_Alison Krauss, "It doesn't Matter"_


	2. Chapter 2

Lean On Me

_Sometimes in our lives we a__ll have pain  
We all have sorrow But if we are wise  
We know that there's always tomorrow_

It was early into fall, the weather just beginning to turn. Not cold yet, but the wind held a chill in the breeze. The leaves began to change color and pumpkins became official watchmen of doorsteps.

The school parking lot was nearly empty; most children had been retrieved but not them. Dean had quite a walk to get there from the high school; Sammy and Haley were usually one of the last to be picked up. They sat on the curb, side by side, waiting patiently.

Books in her lap, young Haley stared at her tennis shoes. Tapping her toes together, she was lost in deep thought. It had been three days since her dad called. He had promised to call everyday but like every other promise, he didn't keep it. She tried to stay strong but the loneliness kept getting bigger. Her juvenile mind hardly knew how to cope.

Biting her lip as her heart ached; Haley's eye's jumped to her fidgeting hands, as she held in tears. It had been over two weeks since her father left her with The Winchester's. Haley told herself everyday her daddy would be back any time but deep inside she knew he was never coming back for her. The thought of her abandonment so painful it choked the breath from her lungs if she thought about it for too long.

Haley was stuck living with people she was just getting to know. John was friendly and nice to her… when he was around, which wasn't often. She lived with 'the boys' mostly. The older of the two, Dean tolerated Haley; just another burden, she could see it in his piercing green eyes. He was edgy and made her nervous; Haley tried to stay out his way. The younger one, Sammy was the opposite. He was sweet, a tenderness to him, the only thing that made the last two week bearable. But still, Haley desperately missed her dad, her old life.

Biting her lower lip, Haley refused to cry. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her tears back down. Trying to be strong like her father said to.

Looking over his books, Sammy turned to her abruptly as if he could sense she needed a friend. "Did you have a lot of friends where you were from?" Sammy questioned out of the blue. His big brown innocent eyes looked at her with genuine interest.

Sammy knew Haley was different. No one else had ever gone on the road with them. That told Sammy she was here to stay. The idea thrilled him; Haley was funny, fun and pretty. Sammy enjoyed having a playmate around, especially since it was her.

Frozen for a moment Haley couldn't believe his timing. Stilling the tapping of her toes, Haley glanced over at him, taking up his offer for conversation.

Nodding her head, Haley answered meekly. "Yeah, back at my real home but I haven't been there in years." A faint smile twitched on her face as she looked away, loneliness saddening her.

Nodding to her answer, Sammy looked back out into the parking lot, checking to see if he could spot Dean on the horizon. No sight of his older brother to be found, Sammy opened up. "I never really had a friend before. I've known kids but we never stay anywhere long enough to have friends." He admitted to her, hints of sadness to his voice. Dean was the best brother but Sammy had always wished for someone his age. A real friend, not someone tied by blood and duty.

_If there is a load you have to bear  
That you ca__n't carry  
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load  
If you just call me_

Reaching beyond her own problems, sensing his sadness, Haley felt bad for Sammy. He was a nice kid and at least she knew what it was like to have friends you could miss.

Glancing over at him, Haley noticed his eyes held something missing too as he stared off in the distance. "I'm sorry Sammy." Haley's voice offered genuine sympathy.

Sammy's gentle face turned to her suddenly, his heartwarming smile covering it.

"I think you should be my first friend. I have a feeling you're going to be with us for a long time. So it's perfect." Innocence's shown in Sammy's orbs, his voice full of tender excitement.

His words ached in Haley's heart. Ripping her eyes away from him so he wouldn't see her pain, Haley tried not to let herself get upset. Hearing Sammy confirm this was a long road; Haley wasn't sure how she was going to do this.

Watching her pull away from him, Sammy's smile dropped. Rejection filled his dewy sensitive eyes.

Growing embarrassed from the silence, Sammy turned away from her and tried to recover his offer. "You don't have to… it was a stupid idea…" A strange sadness washed over Sammy. Even though he barely knew Haley, he was wounded she didn't want to be his friend.

Haley was lost in her own fears and insecurities until Sammy's voice broke free. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as he stumbled on words, Haley recognized the loneliness in his gaze, it mirrored her own.

In that moment Haley realized she and Sammy were the same. His father neglects him for the road, his family torn apart, and all he wanted was to be normal.

Like a beam of light shined for Haley to see, a glowing halo surrounded Sammy's ruffled hair. She was being given a gift. They at least had each other… understood each other.

Without wasting another moment, Haley lunged at Sammy. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Haley gave him a tight hug.

Pulling back slightly, Haley nodded vigorously with excitement, a real smile finally finding her face. "You're my friend Sammy, always!" Childish joy radiated from her voice.

Surprised by the attack hug, Sammy embraced it. Haley smelled like sugar and spice, she sparkled like no one else he knew.

A big goofy smile engulfed his face. "We'll look out for each other. Have each other's backs." Little Sammy beamed. Excitement raced through his belly, knowing he finally had someone.

"Come on midget's. We got to go." Dean sarcastically announced his arrival, breaking the moment. Full of teen angst and hormones, Dean liked to pretend he didn't enjoy picking up his younger brother from school. Truth be told, there wasn't a thing Dean wouldn't do for Sammy. His whole life was built around that scruffy brown haired boy.

Looking up Sammy spotted Dean and quickly gathered his backpack.

"Hey Dean," He cheerfully called. Stepping up off the curb, Sammy was more than ready to go but he still turned to wait for Haley, his new best friend.

Holding her books to her chest, Haley stood but kept silent. Forcing a smile up at Dean briefly, Haley dropped her eyes back to her books. No, she didn't know what she'd do without Sammy.

Little did they know, this moment was life altering. From this day forward Sammy and Haley were inseparable. You rarely found one without the other. They looked after each other. They took care of each other. From that moment on, Sammy and Haley were best friends… Their bond, connection deeper than anything life could shake.

_Lean on me when you're not__ strong  
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long, Till I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on_

_Bill Withers, "Lean On Me"_

**Note:** Sam and Haley are about 12, Dean is 16. Also I wanted to clarify an issue someone brought up about Haley and Dean. Dean doesn't hate Haley. Dean's upset is father brought home yet another child he'll have to responsible for, when he himself is merely a child. But Dean being Dean, would never blame John, his hero for that. He'd direct it other places. That's what Haley is sensing from him. She will win him over. They will be close but as we all know Dean's guarded, not an open book like Sam. So it'll just take a little more time then Sam and Haley's friendship. Hope that clears things up.

ALSO, this story will be updating more slowly because I'm still working on it. Unlike "Desperately Wanted" Which I have almost completed.


	3. Chapter 3

This Is My Tree

_Bent or broken is the family tree_

_Each branch a part of a part of me_

_And this is My Tree and it's a Beautiful Tree_

Haley had been with living with the Winchesters for close to a year. Her father and old life had faded like a ghost in the shadows. Only a handful of reminders; a postcard here, a phone call there. Always another lead on her mother's where abouts, her dad was always close. Nothing substantial, eventually he even stopped saying he was coming back and Haley stopped asking for his return.

Haley settled in with The Winchester's. Nestling and earning her own notch in their tree. Not girly in nature, Haley was one of the boys. Smart and charming, her presence became the shining light of the family.

Haley was first and foremost connected to Sammy at the hip, like a surrogate twin. He was the first to become her family and her dearest member. With John, Haley was the little girl he never had. She, like Dean had interest when he shared his knowledge of hunting and a natural flowing sweetness like Sammy.

John filled the void of loosing her own father and Haley latched on, always aiming to please. Dean came around last. The guarded one he is, it took Dean time to let his guard down with her. Haley grew on him, with her sweet nature and independent ways, Dean saw she wouldn't be a hassle but an asset to his family. She was the female touch and shoulder to lean on this family lacked. Haley became an adopted Winchester, an extended branch on their family tree.

While other kids were at home in bed, tucked in their cozy houses and safe lives, the Winchester's were on a hunt.

The world was dark all around, only lit by their duel flashlights. It was mid-summer in Texas, the air warm and muggy from the day's heat. The humidity only amplified the putrid stench coming from the unearthed grave settled at their feet.

They needed to be quick and thorough, time always of the essence. It was Sammy's turn, John had announced it on the ride there. For reasons Haley couldn't understand at the time, John was adamant they learn how to protect themselves.

Handing Sammy the flask of holy water and container of lighter fluid, John ordered the scruffy haired boy to get on with it.

Staring blankly at the contents in his hands, Sammy resisted. The way he always did. Sammy wanted to watch late night television and eat stale popcorn. Not torch rotted corpses in a creepy old graveyard.

Everyone heard John give an audible grumble. The message was clear, his patience was wearing thin.

_Strong or fragile is the family tree_

_See how the sun shines through the leafs_

_This is Our Tree and it's a Beautiful Tree_

Not wanting another fight to start, Dean gently nudged Haley with his arm. He watched as she glanced behind her shoulder, honey orbs met green ones with question in her stare.

His trademark grin shot wide on the young mans face, blinding like looking into the sun. Dean gave a tilted nod toward Sammy, giving Haley his encouraged support for her to finish the job.

Understanding Dean's unspoken language, Haley smiled softly in agreement up at a boy she now saw like an older brother.

Standing beside Sammy, Haley took the flask in her hand, while her other laced around his now free arm. Interlocking their fingers, Haley's youthfully high voice spoke up. "Let's do it together."

Haley glanced up at John, giving him her best adorable, heartwarming smile. She easily goaded out an approving nod and hearty grin from him.

Spraying the meaty bone with the sacred water, Haley and Sam exchanged the accelerant.

Hands still interlocked in their connection, Haley dowsed the remains with the lighter fluid and turned to Sammy with an eager grin.

Sammy's eyes lit up at Haley's reassuring honey orbs that pierced him. No one reached him the way she did. As if she understood everything about him by looking into his eyes.

Sparking the lighter, pupils glowed in the flickering light as the flame ignited. Never leaving the comfort of his best friend's eyes, Sammy dropped the metal into the six foot deep hole. Flames shot high at their feet… A hunting success.

Gently, Sammy felt her squeeze his hand. Haley's smile shot wider for him with pride, they had done it together, yet again.

John gave a pleased grin, as he gently squeezed Sammy and Haley's shoulders, for a job well done.

The Winchesters stared into their version of a bonfire, fueled by human flesh, accelerant, and a vengeful spirit.

This was their type of family moment. It brought them together in a way the outside world wouldn't understand. That's what set apart The Winchesters from the average.

John quickly packed the duffle bag, shovels and all as he prepared for their departure.

Releasing Sammy's hand Haley began to head to the car. Coming up on her quick, Dean knocked her arm to gain Haley's attention.

Glancing at him with an amused smile Haley was surprised to see him pat his back and crouch down, offering her a ride.

A toothy grin shot wide on her face as Haley jumped onto Dean's back. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as his secure hands hooked under back of her knees.

Her chin rested softly on his shoulder, while his short choppy blonde hair tickled the side of her face.

Dean didn't have to say it. In fact that was one of the things Haley loved most about him, he didn't say all the good words. Dean just showed his love.

Haley's eyes drifted around as Dean weaved through headstones. Bursting smile still beaming on her face, Haley noticed all the rest of her family was smiling too.

As strange as this bunch was, as different as their lives flowed, Haley knew she had the best family there was to call home.

_Sure it's broken but it's a family tree_

_I can feel the sap running through me_

_And this is My Tree and it's a Beautiful Tree_

_Rain Perry "Beautiful Tree"_


	4. Chapter 4

All I Need Is You

_I'm on the run  
I'm on the ropes this time  
where is my song?  
I've lost the song of my soul tonight_

Two years later, when Sam and Haley were fourteen and Dean reached eighteen, John finally granted his eldest son's request to hunt with his father on a regular basis. After hearing about a witch in Massachusetts, the night before John set to leave, he let Dean know he would be coming along. Dean was thrilled; he had been trying to prove he was ready for years now.

Haley and Sam on the other hand were crushed. Dean was their keeper, their protector and their role model, if only to show what not to do. The thought he wouldn't be around to watch over them was like walking into the dark, unknown forest alone.

From the moment the news reached her ears, Haley objected the most strongly.

Trying to persuade Dean with a heated debate, or change John's mind with Daddy's little girl eyes, but to no avail. When the departure seemed absolute, somberness over took her. Haley plotted herself on the floor at the end of a bed, knees tucked under her chin. Sadness clouded her gaze, as she disappeared into the TV screen.

Sam stayed steady by her side; his heart too felt like a piece was being ripped away. Loosing Dean was like being a wanderer with no rod to lean on. He sat silently beside her, like a rock that promised without words to always be there. She was the only thing he was certain would never leave his side.

Haley kept it together until the last moment. When Dean began to pack his duffle bag, she finally fell apart.

Rising from the floor without a word of warning Haley charged to Dean's side.

"You can't go!" She yelled at the side of his face dramatically, as her arms folded to her chest.

When heated green eyes turned to her, Haley continued her rant. "Who will take care of us?! Who will protect us?!" Trembling fear etched in her voice, as pain shot from her gaze.

All anger disappeared, as Dean saw the tortured sadness pooling in Haley's orbs. Her heart was breaking he could see it, as the tears filled her chocolate eyes, but didn't fall.

Turning to face her completely, Dean placed reassuring hands on Haley's shoulders. His piercing gaze shined down on her. "You're going to be fine. You and Sam have each other and I'm going to be back soon."

Head shaking from side to side, she squirmed in his grasp, as Haley disagreed. "When? A few weeks? A month?" His absence already burned in her heart. Haley had lost everyone she ever loved in her life, in one way or another. The thought she'd loose Dean too was heart stiflingly scary, like walking on thin ice.

Dean's gaze softened, he knew this was destroying her, but he couldn't stay. This was his chance to go out in the world, finally become a man. He couldn't stay behind, can't be a kid forever.

Staring down at his pretty, little, brown eyed girl with empathetic eyes, Dean shrugged his shoulders, unable to answer her question.

Haley's lower lip began to quivered, as the answer she already expected hit her like a closed fist. Gazing into green eyes that made her feel safer than anything else, Haley wouldn't pretend.

"Not good enough." She told him the truth. The first tears in the name of his absence slipped down her rounded cheeks, before Haley quickly wiped them away, and turned from him.

Quick on the uptake, Dean pulled Haley back to him before she could get away. Cupping her face in his palms, he forced her to meet his eyes, as Dean made her a promise.

"I will always be here for you, Hales. No matter where I am." Complete certainty on his solid breath, as Dean made her a vow.

He watched as more broken tears escaped from her chocolate orbs, lip trembling. Dean pulled Haley into his arms. Hugging tightly, as Dean felt her small needy hands grip him back.

Holding her near, Dean softly stoked her long wavy brown hair down her back.

"It's going to be ok." He soothed the young girl; he considered a little sister, and loved just as much.

_Where is the sun?  
Feel like a ghost this time  
Where have you gone?  
I need your breath in my lungs tonight_

Coping in quiet, silently being strong the way she did so well, Haley returned to the floor once Dean and Dad left.

She sat there watching TV numbly, as she tried to convince herself this didn't hurt, even though Dean's absence mocked her at every turn.

Sam felt her pain for his own reasons. Dean was his blood brother, closest thing to reliable family, but the heartache coming off Haley was like a heavy fog covering him too.

Only wanting to ease her pain, Sam executed his plan to reminder her she'd always have him.

Taking a seat beside Haley on the dingy carpet, he nudged her shoulder playfully, as Sam tried to arouse some reaction from her. "I got something you, Hales." He spoke softly against the contrasting quiet.

Her face turned to him slightly, her pupils found him out of the corner of her chocolate eyes. Waiting to see if she wanted to let Sam pull her from the darkness, or wallow in her empty place for awhile longer.

A little box caught her eye, as Sam shoved it her way. "What's this?" Haley asked, breath still somber, as she took his offering into her hands.

"Open it," Sam encouraged with his trademark smile. The one that when he shared it, was like sun light bursting from the clouds after a heavy rainstorm.

Lifting the top of the box, it revealed a simple black band necklace with a pentagram pendent at the end.

Haley's eyes shot to Sam, her radiant light returning to her pupils, as a smile filled her face.

Grasping the necklace, Sam with gentle ease hooked it around her neck, as he explained. "It's a pentagram, very powerful protection against evil."

Feeling his fingers slip from her neck, as the clasp clicked shut, Haley turned to face Sam with dewy touched orbs. Her lips opened to speak, but his finger placed upon them silenced her.

Sam's finger slipped from her lip to gently cup her cheek. "I want you to know, I'm going to take care of you." Sam spoke with certainty on his young breath, and focus in his eyes.

His heart sped up the way it always did when Haley looked him. Over the past few months things had changed for Sam. He didn't see Haley quite the same. Suddenly, she made his heart raced with a glance, his gut flutter with her smile. Sam wasn't a child anymore, and the way he saw Haley was beginning to reflect that.

Shaking her head lightly against his palm, Haley corrected him. "We take care of each other. We're the same, remember?" Sam was Haley's other half. While she knew he would do anything for her, it was still hard to see him as anything other than her equal.

Even if he was close to a foot taller than her now, and out weighed her by at least forty pounds, Haley didn't see Sam differently. He was still that same, scruffy haired boy, who had always been her best friend.

This time Sam's head shook, as his eyes drilled into her. "I'm going to protect you. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, Haley." He confessed, speaking from the heart, as dewy sensitive eyes pierced her.

In that moment Haley could feel Sam, she could sense him like something in the air. How much this meant him, how he'd even give his life if needed.

Touched, Haley always knew Sam was different, but it still amazed her the way he was always there at the right moments, saying the right things.

Without hesitation, Haley flew at Sam, wrapping her arms tightly around him his neck, in a bear hug. Her face nestled on his shoulder, his scent calming. "I know," She whispered.

Pulling back slightly, Haley rest her forehead on his, and made her own confession. "I can feel it… feel you."

Whiskey and Chocolate orbs tangled in their gaze, as Sam felt open like an ocean to dive into.

Air felt suspended in Sam's lungs with Haley so close, her wavy brown hair tickling the sides of his face. His heart pounding, just when he thought he couldn't take the proximity a second longer, she pulled away.

Haley wanted him to feel it, to know how profound it was to connect on a soul level.

"I want to try something," Haley spoke up, out of the blue, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Still stunned by having her so close just a moment ago, Sam nodded silently, taking slow breaths to regroup.

Reaching out Haley took Sam's hand, and brought it to her chest. Placing it over her heart, she held it there, her hand over his.

Her gazed lifted to Sam, and Haley was surprised to see nerves in his pupil.

"Don't be scared," She reassured. "Just look into my eyes." Gently Haley cupped Sam's cheek in her palm, holding his focus.

"Now take slow deep breaths," Haley instructed with a calming ease in her tone. Their eyes locked, Haley could see the ocean to Sam growing wider in her mind, as his essence filled her.

"Close your eyes and just feel me." Haley led him down the path to enlightenment, to their secret trick.

A deep breath filled Sam's lungs, as something crashed into him. Images, thoughts, sounds and smells, all to rapid and disjointed to pinpoint. Then the twister of knowledge cleared, and all Sam could hear was Haley's pounding heart. All he could feel was deeply loved, and all he could see was a faint glowing light, where he knew Haley would be if his eyes opened. Warmth and love came off Haley in waves; the scent of wild flowers filled his nose, as Sam quietly bathed in her.

"Do you feel it?" Her youthful voice pierced through the blissful harmony.

Whiskey eyes slowly blinked open, as Sam's award winning grin shot off on his face like a bullet.

Nodding slowly, Sam found his breath, amazed. "Yeah," was all he could muster from speechless lips.

An earth shattering smile erupted on Haley's face, her chocolate orbs lit up like fireworks for him. "I knew it!" She squealed.

"We're special, Sam. I always have been, but so are you. We're not like other people." The enthusiasm undeniable on her breath, as Haley admitted something she had never told anyone. A talent her father had taught her at an early age to keep quiet about, but Haley saw Sam held the talent too… the shine.

His warmth bringing smile still plastered on his face, Sam reminded her. "Because we're the same," His breath low, but certain.

Joyous bursting smile, dangerous like a gun, widened her face. Haley nodded vigorously, she couldn't agree more.

Something Sam couldn't pinpoint, but feel, pulled for Haley in that moment. It wanted her in ways he didn't fully understand, or had ever felt before. Haley was the most beautiful girl to Sam but now, knowing they could connect, she shined with a hypnotizing light.

Killing the lingering moment, Haley dropped Sam's hand from her heart, and swatted his arm playfully.

"Thanks Sam… for everything." The depth of her gratitude was said best with the way she looked at him, like he was more special then the rest.

_I'm holding on, I'm holding on to you  
My world is wrong, My world is a lie that's come true  
And I fall in love with the ones that run me through  
When all along all I need is you_

"_Sing it out", Switchfoot_

**Author Note: **So now that you've read it, for those of you going... "What?! I don't get it! They're psychic?!"  
**Answer:** Yes and No, It'll be in the story, but not a huge part so I don't mind hinting now. As I stated in the first chapter... Haley is naturally intuitive, like her mother. But as I stated in the last chapter... Haley was born in '83... like Sam. Her mother isn't dead, but like we learned in SPN season 2, she doesn't have to be...  
Do you see what I'm getting at? That's why Haley and Sam are the same, why they can connect to each other in a way others can't. They're different.


	5. Chapter 5

All The Right Moves

_All the right friends in all the wrong places  
So yeah, we're going down  
They got all the right moves and all the right faces  
So yeah, we're going down_

The year they entered High School as freshmen's, everything changed for Sam and Haley. They were growing up and alone so often that soon those facts began arouse issues in ways they hadn't expected. Growing up is hard, doing on your own leaves a space as wide as a canyon to make decisions blindly.

Walking out onto the football field where Haley met Sam every day after school. She ran the last few minutes of class through her mind. Studious by nature, Haley took school very seriously.

Making sure she memorized the last topics her teacher went over, topics she and Sam would be delve deep into during their nightly study session.

Haley glanced up from her books and spotted Sam a few yards off, standing by the goal post.

The smile dropped from her face when Haley saw he was surrounded by girls who seemed to be gathering to him lately. Ever since they hit high school, Sam shot up a foot over night, with lean muscle tone and a pretty face, girls noticed.

Gripping her backpacked tighter on her shoulder, Haley charged. Irritated and unamused with what was becoming a regular annoyance.

Watching a blonde, leader of the pack get in close, Haley arrived just in time for the show.

Holding her books coyly to her chest, with big blue eyes and fluttering lashes to match, she gave it her best shot. "Want to walk me home?" Staring up at Sam with innocent eyes, the girl with silky blonde locks tested the waters.

Rolling her eyes, Haley stepped to Sam's side and put the embarrassment of a girl in her place.

"Get lost." She ordered, a firm clarity in her voice. Eyes staring the other girl down, Haley said she wasn't asking.

The beauty queen blonde turned to Haley slowly, lips pursing with tension. Narrowing her eyes on Haley, the girl lashed out.

"Was I talking to you?" She shot back with confidence in her sinister smile. That said, I rule this kingdom known as our High School.

_Just paint the picture of a perfect place  
They got it better than what anyone's told you  
They'll be the King of Hearts, and you're the Queen of Spades  
Then we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers_

A firecracker at heart, Haley wasn't intimated. Never looking away, Haley let her know she wasn't backing down.

"I was talking to you." Haley threw back pointedly.

Placing a strong hand on Haley's shoulder, Sam let her know he was with her on this but she should just let it go.

Watching Sam's gesture, a wicked smile formed on the popular girl's face, pearly whites beaming. "You should really listen to your brother. What a cutie he is. See he's the only reason why anyone knows who you are in this school. You're invisible otherwise. You look like a boy. You're mousy, plain and pathetic. So get out of my way." With ice cold blue eyes, the girl spoke with venom on her tongue.

Knowing it was about to get out of control and fast, Sam jumped in. Protecting Haley like he was supposed to do, even if that meant from herself.

Grabbing the blonde who had caused all the trouble by the shoulder, Sam pulled her back, gently but firmly. "Don't talk to her like that." He barked, stepping in between the girls.

Blood pumping, heart racing, pupils dilating on the blonde, Haley tried to push past Sam and executed revenge.

Swinging back around, Sam grabbed a hold of Haley by the shoulders and dragged her several feet away.

"She isn't worth it." Sam tried to talk her down. Always looking out for Haley, always taking care of his best friend, the way she had just done for him.

"What, you afraid?!" The stupid blonde called back tauntingly, feeling safe Sam had control of the situation and Haley wouldn't get free.

Eyeing the girl from a distance with burning rage, Haley struggled against Sam's restraint. "Let me go!" She protested.

"Hey, look at me." Sam insisted, his soft eyes barreling down on her, his grip steady but light.

Haley's big honey eyes shot up and met his, Sam took the moment to reach her.

"She doesn't matter. Let's go." Sympathy in this whiskey eyes, Sam tried to be understanding. He was on her side but there was no way he'd let Haley get in a fight.

Staring him down for moment longer, Haley couldn't let it go, not inside. What that girl had said, hit too close to home. Breaking loose from Sam's grip Haley took off in a run.

_Do you think I'm special? Do you think I'm nice?  
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces?  
Between the noise you hear And the sound you like  
Are we just sinking in an ocean of faces?_

Sam knew just where to find her. Every place they stayed; Sam and Haley created their own spot. A place they could go to when they got stir crazy at the motel or needed time alone.

In Missouri, where they were this month, it was an old park bench behind the motel. Weathered and overgrown, no one bothered them there.

Sam spotted her right away, sitting on the bench facing him, head bowed near her hands.

Coming up silently, he took a seat beside her. Placing a comforting hand on her back, Sam spoke up. "You shouldn't let her get to you."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Haley slowly sat up and faced him. Nervously she bit her lower lip for a moment as she stared into his sensitive eyes.

Glancing away, Haley admitted her fear and insecurity. "What if she's right?" Nerves edged in her quiet voice.

A big smile eclipsed Sam's face, the kind that when you looked at it all you feel is warmth and light.

"You're joking right?" Watching her with captivated eyes, Sam couldn't imagine Haley not knowing how special she was.

Lips pursed together, big honey eyes turned back to Sam, vulnerability suspended in her orbs. Being open in a way she only trusted with Sam, Haley shook her head no.

Sam's smile softened but didn't drop as his gaze filled with sadness. It burdened him to think was unsure of herself.

Glancing over the beauty of Haley face, undeniable shine to her penetrating eyes, soft glow to her hair. Sam's lips let slip his new feelings for her.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He spoke with spontaneity and complete honesty.

Reaching out, Sam lovingly tucked a strand of Haley's silky hair behind ear as he watched her stunned orbs drilling him. He could feel it in that moment. Feel her realize she sparkled in his eyes.

Looking into Sam's whiskey sensitive eyes, Haley's heart pounded as their connection surged and she felt what he was feeling. Knew how he felt about her. That her beauty captivated him endlessly though he never wanted to tell her, hesitant it'd ruin what they had.

Watching the glow of happiness in her eyes form, Sam felt an urge he had never felt before in his life. An urge as strong as the urge to take a breath and Sam followed it.

Taking Haley by surprise, Sam leaned over and kissed her. Their lips locked with the contact, lingering and sweet but filled with something deeper than best friends share. They had kissed before but never on the lips.

Pulling back after a moment, Sam searched for her eyes. Watching Haley's eyes flutter open, his heart raced faster. Deep honey orbs gazed into his, something new shining through.

Sam could see it, feel it, the moment had been perfect for her too. Their first kiss, like everything else, together.

Taking the lead this time, Haley smiled softly with grace. Reaching out, she grabbed his arm and tangled it with hers.

Leaning down, Haley rested her head softly on Sam's shoulder. Snuggling close, indescribably thankful she had Sam in her life.

_They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going  
Yeah, we're going down_

"_All The Right Moves," One Republic_


	6. Chapter 6

This Innocence

_Waking up I see that everything is ok  
The first time in my life and now it's so great  
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed  
I think about the little things that make life great  
I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling_

Moist softness filled the senses, as Sam kissed Haley with a thirst that could only be quenched by the careful brush of her lips. Sweet and innocent, light and inexperienced, their lips embraced.

Haley pulled back from Sam, her honey eyes shooting wide.

"Sam Winchester!" She cried in a high pitch school girl whisper, the surprise easy to detect in the pitch of her hushed voice. Even though Sam's kisses felt sweeter than heaven, Haley couldn't ignore her good girl instincts.

Haley's face scanned around, nervous eyes searching for their dad and Dean.

"They could see us." She reminded him with a cautious breath, as her gaze easily spotted dad and Dean still preoccupied, firing and testing their small arsenal, on the opposite side of the stunning '67 Impala, shining like a star on Broadway.

Taking her hand, Sam led Haley over to the trees nearby, unable to resist the urge to be near to her without worry about his dad.

"They're not paying attention." He reassured her nerves with his classic gentle tone and adorable smile.

Entering the grove of tress, Sam turned back to Haley. His soft eyes captivated by her and the way her hair shined like gold in the sunlight.

Gently Sam pulled her to him, as his hand lightly found her face. Lost in the beauty of her, and the way it consumed all his thoughts when she was close.

Haley loved Sam's attention, it made her feel special like a rare diamond, but she was also cautious by nature, and couldn't ignore how dangerous this was.

Pulling back from Sam's embrace, Haley pinned him with her honey eyes.

"They're right over there. We'll be in so much trouble if anyone sees us." Always the voice of reason, Haley needed Sam to understand this was fire they were playing with and if they weren't careful, they'd get burned. This wasn't the right place to be testing the flames.

Sam's gaze looked determined as it barreled down on her, his whiskey eyes lost on her. Taking hold of her shoulders, Sam slowly led her backwards until her back hit the bark of an old evergreen tree, tall and sturdy.

Her eyes held his, surprise filling her pupil yet again. Butterflies filled her belly with Sam's sudden boldness. His sunbeam smile shot off on his face filling her insides with warmth.

"No one's going to see us." He reassured, the look in his eyes so certain.

As her honey orbs tangled with his whiskey, Haley found herself smiling too, his affection contagious. She wanted to believe him but she was also smart enough know he was only saying that because he wanted to kiss her again.

Before Haley could get another word in, Sam gently grasped her chin with his thumb and forefinger. Gazing into her eyes, completely mesmerized, Sam slowly tilted her chin up as his face leaned down to her.

"It's ok," He promised with a big goofy smile as their noses brushed.

Taking the moment by the hand, Sam leaned in capturing her pout into his. The smooth skin of her lips called to him in places deep inside his soul. She was like a piece to his puzzle; beside him she completed the picture and made him feel whole.

Sam's kisses felt like snow flakes fluttering onto her skin, as Haley smiled against his lips before surrendering, and wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.

Brushing his lips against hers, Sam was amazed by the way no matter how many times he kissed her, it still felt like fireworks shooting off inside him.

Lost in their own moment, their surroundings slipped away as their lips innocently explored each other in a way they had only recently discovered felt magical together.

A noise shattered their special moment in an instant. "Haley!" The rough mature voice bellowed.

The two teens shot apart, like a bullet from its gun when fired. Flustered, a little blush filled her cheeks as Haley stepped out from behind the tree and turned back toward the car.

"Yeah?" She called back; holding her breath, wishing on her lucky star dad hadn't just seen them.

John walked around to the other side of the car until he could spot her. His heartwarming smile on his face, John explained. "Your turn."

Nodding with understanding, Haley left Sam's side as she raced back to the car. Reaching John, she looked up at a man who had become a father to her.

"What am I learning today, dad?" She questioned with big eager eyes, and a wide anticipating smile.

John loved the enthusiasm Haley showed in all things hunting. She was excellent with weapons and fighting considering her size, but it was the research part Haley loved. She loved all the digging and reading it took to create a true biography of the creatures John and Dean encountered.

Being a girl, John would always fear for her safety differently than the boys, but John also felt confident if trained right she would have the strength, and knowledge to do anything behind the front lines she wanted.

"Shotgun, that's your weakest point." He gently delivered constructive criticism, as he wrapped a loving arm around her shoulder.

_I found a place so safe, not a single tear  
The first time in my life and now it's so clear  
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here  
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere  
I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling_

Leading her over to the empty field they were using as a shooting range today, John stopped next to his eldest son.

"Dean's going to let off a few rounds with you. We got to get your aim a little better." He looked down on her with soft, worn eyes as he pattered her shoulder for encouragement.

"Ok," Haley nodded with an excited smile as she turned to Dean who shined in the sunlight, her eyes fighting the urge to stare too hard.

Haley had grown over the summer, so had Dean. She finally noticed Dean, in ways that confused her, and left her feeling silly inside. Haley couldn't explain why Dean's piercing green eyes suddenly fluttered in her belly. Or why, when he spoke all she could look at was his plump pout and get lost in it, but all Haley knew was it didn't seem to be going away.

Dean smiled down on her with an open, caring ease he reserved only for Sam and Haley.

"Come on, Kid." He called with his trademark grin.

Not needing to be told twice, Haley stepped to him. Her big eyes met his, waiting for instruction, as the butterflies began to stir.

Grabbing her shoulder, Dean stepped behind Haley. Lifting his sawed-off, double-barrel shotgun from his side, Dean brought it up in front of her.

Haley grabbed the gun, one hand on the forearm, the other on the grip behind the trigger. While trying to ignore the way his scent of forest and dirt, smelled intoxicating in her nose.

"Good," Dean called from above her ear, his voice rough, but clear from such close range.

Dean's arms wrapped around hers, as his solid body towering behind, Haley fought against her breath trying to pick up with his closeness.

Dean's strong hands pulled the butt of the gun snug against her shoulder, as he leaned down, getting in near her ear and eye line.

"Alright, find your target." He instructed.

His breath hot on the side of her face, Haley had to force herself to focus. Leaning her cheek against the gun she spotted a big tree in the distance. Haley pointed the gun and answered. "Got it."

"Good," Dean encouraged, removing his hands from the gun, his grip fell her to waist where he lighting held her for support once the big gun fired.

Returning to his full stature, Dean led her through. "Now take a deep breath and as you let it out, pull the trigger." He explained.

Sucking in a deep breath, Haley saw the big tree in her eye line. Letting out her exhale slowly as Dean instructed, Haley squeezed the trigger.

The gun shot off, a loud sound erupted, birds shot from the trees. The force of the shotgun firing sent little Haley back against Dean, who held her steady.

Eyes blinking, Haley was pleased to see this time she had made her target. Lowering the barrel of the gun, Haley turned back to Dean with a beaming smile. "I did it!" She squealed.

Brushing her cheek with his thumb, Dean's approving smile shot wide on his face. "Never doubted you." He praised her.

Turning to Dad next, Haley waited for his assessment, always trying to please the old man. Better than she expected, she found him with a big wide grin on his prickly face too. Nodding, John approved. "Good, that's good. Now try it again"

Filled with excitement and pride over her triumph, Haley turned back to Dean more then ready to give it another shot.

A few rounds of success later, Haley's practice was done, and she went to have a seat beside Sam against the hood of the car.

Proud of herself, Haley couldn't wait to hear what Sam thought. His opinion always mattered most. She took a seat beside him with a beaming smile.

Haley was glowing, as Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder and leaned in.

"You did great," He praised her, before placing a brief gentle kiss upon her cheek.

Her eyes shot to him like shooting stars, knowing Sam was proud of her meant everything in the world.

Sam released his hold on her shoulder as not to arouse suspicion, and gazed back out. Watching as Dean took another round, this time with his cut-down Winchester pump shotgun.

They sat there like two peas in a pod for awhile, enjoying the suns rays, the forest breeze and the sound of gunfire in the afternoon.

As usual, Sam found his gaze drifting to Haley, his eyes always eager to catch a glimpse of her radiance, but this time something different caught his eye.

Haley was staring at Dean, but it was the way she was staring at Dean that sent an ach in his heart. Sam had never seen her eyes sparkle for anyone other than him, and he could have sworn he felt hints of something coming off her.

Reacting in the moment, Sam's lips slipped. "You like Dean."

Haley's face whipped to him in a flash, her pupils wide with the implication of his words. "What?" She questioned with big pupils, half startled.

Sam's gaze stayed steady on her, the hurt undeniable in his narrowing gaze.

"You like him; you have a crush on Dean." He repeated more insistent this time, growing agitated as it seemed truer by the second.

Haley stared at Sam blankly for a moment; she couldn't believe his insight. She had been confused by this for weeks, and in an instant Sam cleared the fog. Presenting it to her wrapped up all neat, like a present, Haley had a crush on Dean.

Not sure how she felt about this realization, Haley suddenly felt insecure under Sam's stare. "No, I don't." She stammered from fumbling lips, dismissing his words.

Sam's gaze never faltered as he nodded slowly. "Yes, you do. I can see the way you're looking at him. I'm sitting right here." Frustration growing on his breath, Sam couldn't believe she had the nerve to deny what was right in front of his face.

The insistence of his tone only sent her on the defensive. Haley wasn't going to talk about this, not with anyone, not until she understood what it meant.

"Then you're imagining things because I don't." She shot back, anger in her voice, sternness to her glare.

Frustrated Sam made her see something Haley wasn't sure yet she wanted to see. Especially while she was still getting use to her new feelings for Sam, Haley jumped off the car and stormed off in a huff.

John's face whipped over his shoulder with the commotion. Watching Haley stomp off for the trees, John's gaze shot to Sam still leaning against the car. His eyebrow arched at his youngest son in question.

Sam looked back at his dad as if clueless and shrugged his shoulders.

John eyed his boy carefully, he wasn't a stupid man. John had always told himself Sam and Haley's bond was a good thing, killed the loneliness of life on the road, but he also knew they were getting older, things could change.

Since Sam was coming up on sixteen, John started keeping an extra eye on him, making sure his feelings, or hormones didn't go places they shouldn't.

"Your turn," John ordered with a tilt of his head.

Letting out an audible grumble, Sam hopped off the car and dragged his feet. He didn't want to shoot guns, or throw knives. He didn't want to learn exorcism rituals in Latin, or how to melt silver into bullets. He wanted to be normal, but that seemed like the furthest thing from his life.

"Come on Sammy, don't be such a girl." Dean teased, giving big brother support with an antagonizing twist.

Walking over to his big brother and dad, Sam grabbed the nearest gun, and did the only thing he could to let off stream. He started shooting.

_This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect, Please don't go away  
I need you now And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

_Avril Lavigne, "Innocence"_


	7. Chapter 7

Choking On Your Alibis

_I'm coming out of my cage And I've been doing just fine  
Got to, got to be down Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

Sam and Haley's sophomore year began like most, with them mostly by themselves, caring for each other. As a pair they were all they had, at the rate they changed schools, friends were impossible. Sure dad and Dean were around, Dean most of all, but they were gone more often then not.

The change in Sam and Haley's friendship was kept secret with the distance. When dad and Dean were home, they pretended to have never shared kisses.

Still this new depth to their friendship complicated things. It stirred new emotions, like jealousy and needing. Emotions they tried to keep in under wraps. Emotions they tried to hide from the older members of their family. However sometimes teenagers can't help, but be teenagers.

Haley had been on his mind all day. Sam had always thought about her frequently, but lately she consumed all this thoughts. A mere glance from her eyes made his insides glow.

Standing before him, placing her book bag on the table, something about the way she moved seemed magical. Mesmerized by her beauty and its ability to blind him, Sam couldn't help, but softly touch her face with care. Before leaning in to touch her lips with his, and quiet the urge in his gut to kiss her.

His hands tangled in her silky locks, gently holding her face near, as he tasted her lips. Sweet like candy, plump and soft like clouds, Sam held the embrace eating up the way it made his insides tingle. Over the summer Sam had become addicted to Haley's kisses. He found himself thinking about them, wanting them, at the most inopportune times. She stirred new feelings inside him. Intoxicating feelings, he couldn't get enough of. Suddenly Sam was beginning to understand Dean and women, in a way he use to just mock his brother for prior to experiencing.

Haley's belly fluttered with butterflies as Sam held her near, kissing her gently. It amazed Haley how special it could make her feel; knowing Sam was crazy about her, knowing he longed for only her kiss. Part of Haley loved this new depth to their connection; part of her also feared it would destroy the bond they had held for many years, before he dared to touch her lips.

When the kissing lingered on, and Haley could sense Sam had no thoughts to stop anytime soon, she put the breaks on it herself.

Touching his shoulder, she pushed him back, and met his eyes, as they slowly opened.

"Ok, it's official, no more kissing today." She stated simply with the cutest of smiles. Setting a limit he wouldn't, as her sparkling chestnut eyes pinned him with her stare.

His big hand slipped from her hair to capture her cheek in his palm, as his thumb loved her skin with a stroke.

"Why?" Sam questioned her, still drunk off her kiss. His whiskey eyes fell to her swollen pout, and the urge rumbled up from his gut, too strong to ignore. Dropping his hands to her waist, Sam began to tickle Haley's sides; she squirmed and smiled with the attack. Before his lips fell back on hers with this unquenchable thirst.

Shoving him back again as their lips brushed, Haley's voice grew annoyed.

"Sam Winchester!" She reprimanded.

Sam's puppy dog eyes shot wide with innocence. "What? Don't you like kissing me?" His radiant smile hit her like a sunbeam, tugging on her heart strings.

A smile shot wide on Haley's face, as crimson splashed her cheeks. "Of course I do," She admitted, unable to deny it.

"But I don't want this to be all we do. I like doing other things with you too. You're my best friend, Sammy. I don't want that to change." Something deep in her chestnut eyes pleaded, revealing she was scared this new level they reached might make the old ones disappear.

The look in her eyes brought Sam to his senses. He didn't want to hurt her; he'd never want to hurt Haley. Sam had to remind himself he was older, and maybe she wasn't ready for all of this, not yet anyway.

"Ok," He nodded in agreement, same earth shattering grin upon his lips just for Haley, and the way she sparkled in his eyes.

Tucking a strand of her silky locks behind her ear, he sought out what she wanted.

"What do you want to do instead?" Sam asked, her wish his command.

This time Haley's smile shot extra wide, glowing light on her face with excitement.

"Let's take turns reading the next chapter to _Anna Karenina_." Reaching behind her back, Haley grabbed the book off the dresser with eager hands. With so much time on their hands, Haley had made it tradition they read the best that literature had to offer. Saying one day he'd thank her for it.

Sam's smile weakened, but endured, Tolstoy wasn't his favorite. In fact the man had him more confused than enlightened, but Haley loved it. So Sam would suck it up.

Nodding slowly Sam gave in, "Ok." He answered, before giving her supple cheek one more gentle touch.

They were lost in the moment when the motel door swung open suddenly.

"Everyone better be dressed." Dean announced his arrival with his trademark humor, as he strolled in. Not serious in any sense. Dean couldn't imagine ever finding them undressed together; Sam would be eating a fist sandwich if he did.

Dean spotted them easily, as they stood frozen by the dresser. For an instant, just an instant the impossible almost seemed possible.

Dean's piercing green eyes narrowed on Haley and Sam. One of Sam's hand's on her face, the other at her waist, as their eyes looked lost on each other. In that moment Dean suddenly, wasn't sure what they were up to, but all suspicions were suspended, as he watched Haley notice him, and charge his way.

"Dean!" She squealed, the excitement burst from her veins. Jumping on him, she wrapped tight arms around his neck, hugging him within an inch of his life. Always thankful beyond words when he returned. Knowing in the line of the work he held, there was always a risk he'd never come back.

A pained grunt slipped from Dean's lips with her assault, his body still weak from the beating he got on this hunt.

The noise pounded in Haley's skull, knowing instantly what it meant. Releasing from him quick, Haley dropped to her feet.

Her eyes shot up at him in concern, her chestnut orbs wide, and big with worry.

"Are you ok?" The question slipped from her nervous lips, as Haley's eyes scanned him for signs of injury. The cut on his cheekbone caught her attention right away.

"You're hurt," Haley's voice cracked with pain, as her hand reached up to lightly touch near his wound.

Seeing the fear filling her eyes, Dean was quick to reassure his little girl.

"It's just a scratch. I'm fine, just a little sore." He played down his injuries, protecting her the way he always did.

Haley could see the lie in his green eyes, but she also knew he wouldn't do it if he didn't care.

Haley grabbed the heavy duffle bag off his shoulder, taking a little of the weight off him, and carried it over to the corner of the room.

"Hey there Sammy," Dean chimed with a grin as his younger brother leaned in for a quick hug.

"Beat the hell out of you?" Sam questioned his big brother quietly with a swagger to his eyebrows, man to man.

A quick huffed laugh left Dean's chest, as he nodded. "Yeah, but we still got rid of it. So who's the bitch now?"

_Now I'm falling asleep And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head_

Hours later they had settled in, all together as if they were a normal family. John sat at the table cleaning his guns after the hunt, planning his next move. Sam lay sprawled out on a bed, watching_ Braveheart_ on basic cable aimlessly. Dean sat on the floor at the base of the bed, Haley beside him, deeply engrossed in the movie's battle scenes.

Catching Haley's heart warming smile out of the corner of his eye, Dean couldn't resist. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her down across his lap. Attacking, he began tickling her sides mercilessly, enjoying having his little sunshine near by. Soaking up the way her laughter made the world seem bright again; her smiles filled him with warmth, needing that after the things he saw on a hunt.

Sam lay agitated on the mattress. Trying not to let his emotions get the better of him, but his jealousy just kept building in strength. Watching his older brother tickle Haley, knowing he brought that smile, and laughter to her face, bugged Sam. It didn't matter they had always played around like that, something about this time got on Sam's nerves. Maybe it was knowing Haley held hidden feelings for Dean that threw Sam over the edge but suddenly enough was enough.

Unable to hold his tongue another second, as her laughter echoed threw the room, Sam let it slip. "God, get a room already." He muttered under his breath.

The tickling session ended instantly with Sam's rude disruption. Both Haley and Dean pulled away and looked up at Sam with question in their eyes, confused by his unwarranted verbal assault.

Sam climbed from the bed in a huff. "Don't look at me like that. Everyone can see you like him, Haley. So fine, be together! I don't care!" Sam ranted, like the insecure, hormonal teen he was.

Everything stopped with Sam's outburst. Even John stilled his work to glance up at the kids squabble.

Haley rose from the ground, completely humiliated. Tears welled up in chestnut eyes, as she looked to Sam, her best friend who just betrayed her.

"How could you say that to me?" The disbelief thick on her breath, before the tears slipped from her hurt eyes, and Haley dashed out of the room.

Dean found his feet, as his head shook perplexed, not sure where that had come from in Sam. "Way to go, Sammy." Dean shot off sarcastically, before leaving to go check on Haley.

**Author Note:** Just wanted to clarify in case there was any confusion. There's nothing going on between Dean and Haley, not that way. She's 14, almost 15, and Dean's 19, almost 20. As much as jailbait could be tantalizing for a character like Dean, I think Haley's way too young for him. I think Dean's the kind of guy who likes a woman, who knows what she's doing, when she does it with him. Not a girl, who doesn't even know, what she doesn't know. But I will say, they're very special to each other and that's what I want to come through.

I also wanted to note... I do think Sam and Haley kiss a lot for their young age. But I took into consideration they grew up being raised mostly by flirty, Dean and non present, John. And Dean, well... Dean's never been a monk. Sam and Haley have never really seen a committed relationship. That's why they still call each other best friends, even though it's clearly crossed that line. Sam and Haley understand kissing and physical affection, thanks to witnessing Dean's many flings, but relationships they're sketchy on.

P.S. The Dean conflict will be resolved and wrapped up by next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 2:

_But she's touching his chest now  
He takes off her dress now  
Let me go  
I just can't look, it's killing me  
And taking control_

Dean jogged half way across the parking lot before he finally caught up with her.

"Hales, slow down," he called from behind.

"Leave me alone!" Haley yelled, her breath thick with emotion. Her tears heard, but not seen from this angle, as she tried to pick up her step.

Dean caught her arm before she could get away, and spun her around to face him.

"It's ok, Haley." Gently he instantly reassured with concerned emerald eyes.

Her head shook from side to side, as her tears gleamed in the sun light.

"No it's not. How could he say that?" Haley's voice trembled with her wounded heart. Embarrassed Sam spilled her secret to everyone, and hurt that he betrayed their secrecy at all.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "He's an idiot sometimes." He said simply with his smooth trademark grin, blinding like looking into the sun, as his hand reached out to gently wipe her wet cheeks that stung his heart.

Pulling back from his touch, Haley shook her head, as more tears welled up in chestnut eyes. "This ruins everything. It's going to be weird now." Her gaze pinning Dean, letting him know she was talking about them.

Dean grabbed Haley's shoulders steady, and he forced her to look at him, as a smirk formed on his lips, charming and captivating in a way he mastered so well.

"No, it won't." He reassured quick with confidence, putting her worries to rest.

"So you like me. How could you not? This is me we're talking about." Dean spoke smugly, his green eyes lit up with his cocky humor in a way that brought a flutter to her gut.

Haley knocked one of Dean's arms from her shoulder, as she rolled her eyes at him. A smile finally edging on her lips with his stupid joke, and predictable conceited comment.

Growing serious in the pupil of his emerald eyes, Dean tried to settle her fears. "Look, its ok if you like me. I don't care."

Dean watched something hurt surface in her chestnut eyes with his words, and he instantly realized he said the wrong thing. "That's not what I meant. I care about how you feel." Dean corrected gently. Open emotions were never his strong suit, but for her he would try not to trip over his tongue. "It just doesn't change anything."

Biting her lower lip nervously, Haley stared up at Dean, with big chestnut eyes that followed his every word.

"You know nothing will ever happen between us, right? It can't. You're my family, Haley." He questioned her delicately, trying to avoid more of her tears that always broke his heart.

Gazing up at a boy that not so secretly made her heart race, Haley knew he was right, and nodded in agreement with his wisdom. As weird as it sounded, above all else she loved Dean like a brother, like her guardian. Things were already complicated with Sam; there was security in knowing things wouldn't be with Dean.

A smile shot wide on Dean's face, like a rocket on the fourth of July, as he watched the light begin to return to those chestnut eyes he adored.

"So were good?" He questioned, just making sure.

A smile filled her face, returning his. "Yeah, were good." She nodded vigorously.

"Good," Dean chimed back, pleased they had diffused this fire and come out on top.

Reaching out he pulled her into his arms for a bear hug. Haley easily burrowed in against Dean's chest. This was a hug that said they meant more to each other than others, enough to actually fight for.

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
Because I'm Mr. Brightside_

Back at the motel, John carefully set his gun down on the table, and prepared for a talk he hadn't anticipated he'd be having with Sam today, but with his son's outburst it had to be done. "So you want to tell me what that was all about? Since you know there's nothing going on between your brother and Haley." John spoke pointedly, as his tired eyes held steady on his teenager son.

Never really close with his father emotionally, Sam shrugged his shoulders and lied, unable to tell the truth. "It was nothing. I don't know why I said that."

Licking his lips, John nodded slowly. Sam was never open with him, but John didn't always need him to be in order to figure out what was going on with Sam. He simply used the wisdom that comes with age to read between the lines.

"So you weren't jealous that Dean was spending time with Haley?" John questioned lightly, holding all insinuation from his tone, his words already holding enough hidden meaning.

Squaring his shoulders, his eyebrow knitted tight, as Sam shot back quick with irritation. "No, why would I be jealous?" Asking a question, Sam tried to turn the tables and deflect. A trade he learned quite well from Dean.

John took a deep breath, and let it out slow and long. As taxing as each hunt was, some days nothing seemed harder than trying to break through the guard Sam held between them.

"You and Haley are getting older. It wouldn't be strange if new feels for her are coming up. Maybe you're starting to see her differently." Seeing Sam wasn't going to open up, John with a worn breath began his parental insight.

Sam stared at his dad with a focused gaze, but his lips stayed mute. In this moment Sam felt his safest move was to stay neutral, and say nothing at all. Knowing if he admitted what Haley and he had been up to, John would totally blow his top.

Watching his son give no indication either way, John took a swig of his beer to calm his growing frustrations with Sam's evasive attitude.

"But you know nothing can ever happen between you and Haley, right? She's family. She's practically your sister." His words were delivered poised but clear, as his eyes drilled on Sam. So there was no confusion, John wasn't asking.

Hearing his father try to lay down rules, Sam finally spoke up quick and harsh.

"She's not my sister." Sam said adamantly. He had seen Haley as a lot of things while growing up with her, but sister wasn't one of them. Sam had never seen Haley as a sister. He never would.

The rebellion thick on Sam's breath, always resurfacing, John let out an audible groan with the struggle having a talk with Sam always seemed to be.

John had experienced a lot in his life. He liked to think he knew a little about a lot, and seeing the look in his youngest son's eyes, John recognized it in a second. Sam had feelings for Haley. That certainly put a kink in the rope, but trusting Haley's good mannered, innocent nature, gave John hope nothing had happened as a result of Sam's inclinations.

Taking the bull by the horns, John set out to stop this moving train, before it left the station.

"Now listen here, Sam," His voice demanding, in a way John did so well. "You might like her, but you can not act on that. You remember she is your family. You're barely fifteen Sam; Haley's still fourteen, and she lives with us. It wouldn't be appropriate. We are not that kind of family. Do you understand me?" The seriousness was blinding in John's drilling gaze, as the strength in his voice reminded Sam who ran the show around here.

Standing feet from his dad, lips pursed tight with discontent. Sam stared his father down, but refused to comply. He was in vehement disagreement with his father, but also angry he thought he could control Sam's every move when he wasn't even around most of the time.

Watching his son stay defiant, John rose from his chair. His youngest son a tall boy, they finally met eye to eye.

"I am not asking you, Samuel. This is an order. You will comply… Now do you understand?" John's voice filled with his growing tempter, as his hands clenched at his sides with the tension.

Staring his father down a few moments longer, Sam conceded in the smallest degree possible.

"Fine, whatever you say!" Sam shouted, in true dramatic form, and charged out the motel door. Leaving his father still standing alone, where he had left him.

Sam made it out the door in a fury, and almost ran right into Dean and Haley as they returned.

Seeing the anguish written all over his face, Haley questioned him with concern. "Sam?"

Sam's furrowed brow, and heated eyes fell to Haley, but stayed silent. Not wanting to talk in front of Dean.

Having an innate ability to sense when things were awkward due to his presence, Dean quickly bowed out.

"You guys should talk." He spoke; his eyes fell back on Haley briefly, as he gave her a quick wink. Then he sent his mouth watering smirk her way, before leaving them alone, and going back inside.

As soon as Dean was gone Sam quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. You know, I never want to hurt you." His eyes returning to their natural puppy dog nature that tugged at the heart.

A worried smile edged on Haley's lips, she could sense there was something hurting him, something he was holding back.

"It's ok." She reassured. While Haley was still mad Sam had said what he said, she also knew he was genuinely sorry, and everyone makes mistakes.

Something vulnerable and sad filled Sam's whiskey eyes, as he gazed down upon her.

"I just don't want to loose you." His words slipped from his lips with the heavy emotion tied to them. Haley was the only solid, permanent in Sam's life. Besides Dean and that was different. He'd be completely lost without her. The thought John could keep her from him, terrified Sam to the bone.

Diving against her, needing to feel her near, Sam hugged Haley tightly in his arms.

"You won't. Not ever, Sammy." Haley promised as her arms returned the embrace. Trying to sooth and comfort her best friend.

The Killer, "Mr. Brightside"

**Author Note:** John does notice the difference in Haley and Sam's relationship now, especially after Sam's little blow up. But before, I think John had hoped they would just stay best friends like they were as kids. And since he's not around often, he hasn't really seen the changes evolve. And when he is around, he doesn't bother to look. I always saw John as a driven, focused man... too bad, I never thought it was his kids he was driven and focused about.  
Dean doesn't really want to see the changes. He sees Haley as a little sister, a kid, and he assumes Sam does too. But his opinion too will change, as you read in the beginning of the first part of this chapter. Dean's beginning to notice, they don't look at each other the way they use to.  
Which complicates everything, because John never banked on this happening when he took Haley in.


	9. Chapter 9

When You Were Young

_Can we climb this mountain, I don't know Higher now than ever before I know we can make it if we take it slow Let's take it easy, Easy now, watch it go_

Haley would never forget the night she fully realized the Winchesters weren't immortal, that they too, were mere flesh and bone like everyone else. It was one of the scariest nights of her life. She had barely turned fifteen and yet it would be forever burned in her mind, sending shivers under her skin with the fear of it.

It was late at night; Haley and Sam were tucked away at the motel, as usual. They had been studying for a big test they had in class the following day, when the motel door flew open, announcing trouble was coming their way.

Both Sam and Haley's faces shot up instantly like lightening, with the loud interruption. Sam jumped from the mattress in a second, always the protector. Gabbing one of his many knives off the dresser, he positioned himself in front of Haley, ready for anything, but scared shitless inside.

An attack wasn't upon them, no this was far worse. John stumbled through the door, bloody and wobbly on his legs, but it was Dean, being held up by his father's strength that made Haley's heart go still.

Dean looked roughed up like John, but his head hung low, as blood continued to drip from his wounded shoulder.

The world stopped, all the air disappeared, as the sight of Dean hit Haley hard, like a fast moving car.

Everything moved quickly and yet in slow motion. "Get the kit!" John hollered at Sam, with an urgency in his voice rarely heard.

Not missing a beat, Sam dropped the knife, and hurried to gather all the first aid supplies they had.

John's weary, worried eyes shot to Haley next. "Haley, Dean's been shot. Can you patch him up?" His quick breath filled the room, as he waited for her response.

Being a girl, John had deemed her their medic, a safe job behind the scenes. He had bought her countless books; taught her everything he knew, and even set up tutoring with Bobby, so he could give her his wealth knowledge as well. Haley loved it, being their healer in a sense and go to gal, but she had never fixed anything more then a few scraps and cuts.

This was blood and tissue big, the sight of Dean's weakened body screamed it in her face. Heart pounding in her chest like a caged bird, suddenly Haley was paralyzed by what she was seeing. The thought Dean, someone she loved dearly, could be dying, froze her like ice in the artic polar.

"Haley!" John's hollered voice filled the room, trying to catch the girl's attention, as her eyes stayed dilated and glued on Dean's bloody form against him.

Her chestnut eyes shot to John in a flash, as her yelled name finally pierced through her terrified delirium.

"Can you do this?" Eyes drilling her with the weight of his words, John spoke clear and precise. It was easy to see the young girl was scared out of her wits. John had considered taking Dean straight to the hospital, but if there was a chance Haley could patch him up, that was less explaining he'd have to deal with.

_We're burning down the highway skyline On the back of a hurricane that started turning When you were young_

Looking a man she saw as her father, dead in the eyes, seeing how critical this was in his gaze, Haley slowly nodded.

Forcing herself back to life, Haley's mind flooded with everything she had been taught. Locking all her fear tightly up within a closest deep inside her, Haley jumped into gear.

"I can do this." She told John and herself, with confidence in her words.

"Get him to bathroom, he's bleeding everywhere." Haley instructed, speaking rapidly so she couldn't think too hard on the words coming out of her mouth, and the earth shattering implication they held.

John helped Dean into the bathroom, as Haley turned to follow them. Instantly she ran into Sam waiting right behind her with the kit. Her big, scared eyes shot up to his, with everything unspoken in this moment. The seriousness of it passed between them, like a contagious disease.

Sam being her support, wrapped a quick arm around her, and leaned in.

"You can do this." He reasurred, but as they pulled apart, and their eyes met again, it was clear to see Sam was terrified too. It was his brother bleeding all over the room.

Pulling back from him, while grabbing the small leather bag from his arm, Haley blindly followed the trail of blood into the bathroom. Unable to look into Sam's scared whiskey eyes another second without coming completely undone.

Dean's sat hunched over on the toilet, as blood continued to drip from his wounded shoulder, and pool on the faded linoleum floor.

Spotting Haley, John rose from the lip of the bath tub, making room from her.

"I'll give you some room to work. Holler if you need help." He explained in a monotone, before quickly exiting. Truth was, the sight of his eldest son injured, and bleeding from a hunt was almost more then he could bear.

Haley took a light seat where John had just rested, and glanced over at Dean.

Typical Dean fashion, his face was waiting for her with a big sloppy smile, trying to fake as if he was alright.

Blood smeared his pearly whites, his gaze disjointed, but he was alive and coherent, Haley held onto that.

Jumping into gear, Haley slowly unbuttoned Dean's bloody flannel shirt, and gently pulled it from his shoulders. Cutting the sleeve of his cotton tee shirt to the collar, Haley finally got a good look at his injury.

Dean had a bloody bullet hole in his collarbone, near his shoulder. Blood continued to fall at a constant rate, but bruises and cuts littered all the parts of his body her eyes could see. Whatever they had been up against, had sure given them one hell of a fight.

"How's it look, Doc?" Dean teased playfully, trying to ease the worry in Haley's eyes. He had never been shot before, and it stung like hell, but nothing hurt more then knowing how scared the sight of him was making Haley.

Dowsing the bullet hole with whiskey to sterilize the wound, Haley's eyes shot up to Dean's with his words. His trademark smirk tried not to falter on his face for her as the alcohol burned, offering what reassurance he could.

"You're going to be fine." Haley promised, trying to convince herself as much as Dean.

Seeing the lingering fear in her chestnut orbs, hidden behind the strength she wanted to show him. Dean reached up, and nipped at her chin with his forefinger and thumb, enduringly. Letting her know, he had no doubts.

_And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live When you were young_

Going to work, Haley methodically and precisely dug the bullet out of his collarbone, while trying to maintain a sterile wound.

Dean held his jaw tight, grinding teeth to avoid letting out grunts, because every time one slipped from his lips, Haley's hands would go paralyzed, and her shoulders would tremble. She was careful, trying to not to cause him more pain, but no matter what way you do it, digging a bullet out of your flesh without anesthesia, is like slowly pulling teeth with pliers.

Slowly pulling the bullet out of his flesh with thin narrow tongs, Haley eyed the bloody metal with startled, amazed eyes. "I got it," She spoke breathless in disbelief.

Letting out a quick grunt and heavy breath, Dean was relieve the worst was over. At least now she wouldn't be digging around his insides.

Pouring more whiskey onto the bloody wound as he hissed, Haley handed Dean the bottle knowing he'd need it just as much.

Several gulps of whiskey and a needle pulling thread through his wounded skin later, Haley had managed to patch Dean up, and divert the unthinkable.

Taping a bandage over his wound, Haley finally pulled back from Dean's shoulder with a triumphant, but weak smile on her lips. Her chestnut eyes shot to Dean's green pair, waiting for his approval.

Nodding, Dean let a smile find his face with what strength he had left, to comfort her.

After seeing the homemade stitches in his skin mixed with the blood still smeared on him, the lingering redness at the corner of his mouth, the moment hit Haley again. How close she comes to loosing someone she can't live without every time Dean goes out on a hunt.

Tears welled up in her chestnut eyes, to the fearful shake it brought within her heart. Staring over at Dean, for the first time Haley wondered what it would be like if he wasn't there. The thought so heart breaking and terrifying it sent warm tears slipping down her cheeks in a second.

_They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet You don't have to drink right now But you can dip your feet , Every once in a little while_

Watching her with concerned green eyes, Dean knew she was too young to be witnessing these things, dealing with these things, but that was life on the road. No mercy was found out here.

Reaching out, he touched her cheek softly to comfort her. "You did great," He reassured with conviction

Without hesitation, Haley dove against Dean, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, while also being cautious to avoid his injury.

"What would I do without you?" She cried into his shoulder. Nuzzling the side of his neck with her wet nose, trying to capture his scent and burrow in.

Wrapping his good arm around her tightly, Dean returned the affection and need for reassurance. "You'll never have to find out. I'm ok." Dean promised with certainty in his words, devotion in his embrace.

Pulling back, Haley looked onto green eyes, needing to see the assurance his words held.

Dean gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"You're killing me, Hales. No more tears." Dean smiled softly, trying to calm her.

Nodding silently, Haley pulled herself back together. She was a Winchester that meant she had to be strong; there was no room for weakness here. With another quick grin, Dean slowly lifted from the toilet, and walked out of the bathroom to find a bed to collapse on.

_You sit there in your heartache Waiting on some beautiful boy to , To save you from your old ways You play forgiveness, Watch it now here he comes_

Turning to look at the door, Haley found Sam standing in the doorway. Already there, as if he could psychically sense she needed him.

Instantly Haley shot up from the lip of the bathtub, and dove against Sam's tall sturdy form, as he entered the bathroom to meet her halfway.

His strong, safe arms wrapped around her, equally as tight as she held him. Tears slipped from Haley's eyes, as her face lay buried against his chest.

His face nestled in her sweet smelling hair, as Sam's low voice filled the room with sound. "Thank you," He said before placing a soft kiss upon her crown of silky locks. His words said volumes, she hadn't just saved Dean. She had saved them all.

Pulling back, Haley gazed up into Sam's whiskey eyes, finding all the affection and support she cherished about him waiting for her.

Gently Sam cupped her soft cheek, lost in the moment. Riled up by this adrenaline pumping incident, Sam's lips fell to hers quickly, needing Haley. Thirsty for their soul connection and the peace it would bring. Needing to feel her near, their lips embraced. Locked, soaking up the touch and the safety it held.

The intensity of the moment seeped into their kiss, as Sam's lips parted, and came at her once again, this time quick and hungry. They needed each other in this moment, needed to be touched, and find comfort.

Stumbling back slightly, deeper into the bathroom from the force of his kiss, Haley surrendered to him. Kissing Sam with just as much need, her trembling hands gripped handfuls of him, pulling him closer.

This heated kiss, like a scorching fire burned out of control, until the reality of the moment hit Haley fast. Realizing they were still in the bathroom, door open, John somewhere outside.

Haley pulled back from Sam quickly, stepping away from his embrace. Her chestnut orbs shot big, startled by what she felt in their kiss. They had never kissed with such fervor before, such burning heat and lack of innocence.

"Not here," She reminded him with a frantic shake to her head, panting breath to her quiet unsure tone.

_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus But he talks like a gentleman Like you imagined when you were young_

Just in the nick of time, John appeared in the doorway just then. A gentle, grateful smile plastered on his face for Haley. "Think you can help out an old man, now?" He asked with a tired breath.

Haley smiled back with innocent chestnut eyes, something about John's grin contagious. Nodding to him, John came in for his turn, as Sam nonchalantly showed himself out. The naivety on Haley's face never made John question Sam and Haley's actions for a second.

Savoring the triumph, today crisis was diverted. This time they out ran the bullet, but from this day forward, no one ever forgot what they stood to loose.

"_When You Were Young" The Killers_

Note: This begins the series of chapters taking place when Haley is 15, Sam is 15/16 and Dean is 19/20


	10. Chapter 10

_**Eyes Wide Open**_

_Hello darkness, my old friend,I've come to talk with you again,Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping,And the vision that was planted in my brainStill remains, Within the sound of silence_

It wasn't just weapons training and mental drilling of all things supernatural. John made sure his kids were physically equipped to take on a fight with anything that could come their way. John taught his children different fighting techniques, things he learned in the Marines and a few things he picked up in a bar brawl or two. He would set them up, one on one to battle it out. Never too rough, it wasn't meant to be bloody, just until one of them pinned the other. A clean fight, meant to hone in skills and keep the techniques fresh in their mind.

John picked the training partners, usually Dean against Sam, and Sam against Haley. It made sense in the ordered pair of things, but sometimes John would pick Dean and Haley against each other. Always with the unspoken understanding the much older boy was to have a light touch with the much younger girl.

One chilly spring day in Iowa, miles from anything that could be called a destination, the family was parked.

Discreet wooded or field covered areas, where prying eyes wouldn't wonder why a father was encouraging his children to fight each other to the ground.

That's where they were today, in the middle of nowhere. Off a quiet dirt road, the only sign of life in eye shot was the Winchester's and their home on wheels, the Impala.

Dean and Sam had just finished squaring off on the dirt covered, tire track indented road. Sam had claimed the triumph against his older brother. Now that Sam was taller he had an advantage, but still Dean usually won, since he easily out weighed Sammy. However not this time, today Sam had taken him with a right hook when his brother wasn't expecting it.

Dean went down, Sam tackled him, and John called for an end, before the heated look in Dean's eyes got the better of him, and the fight turned nasty.

Having won the last round, it was then Sam's turn to train with Haley.

Meeting face to face, loose dirt powered Sam from his previous fight, as he and Haley stood before each other waiting for John's word to start.

Savoring the sweet taste of victory still on his lips, a cocky grin painted across Sam's face for his pretty partner. One that said with confident certainty, he planned on taking her down too.

Haley's eyebrows arched with the challenge, as she shook her head from side to side. Letting Sam know, he shouldn't count his victory until he had won it. For best friend's they were deeply competitive, always sure what one could do, the other could do just as good, if not better.

John gave the signal, and the two slowly stepped toward each other, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Striking, Sam went for Haley, always careful to never be as rough as he is with Dean, but never handing her a win either.

The pair moved in a twisted dance. One would take the upper hand, then the other would break free and rebound. Meeting each other step for step, move for move. The fight was clean and fair, slow and steady.

Haley fought hard against Sam, a boy who out did her in height and weight, never accepting it as a weakness. Finally catching her winning opportunity Haley lunged at him, throwing all her weight into it.

Knowing her like the back of his hand, Sam saw it coming. Quickly moving out of her way, Sam swung back around catching Haley by the waist. Swiftly he pulled her to the ground, pinning Haley between the dirt floor and him, before she even knew what hit her.

The breath was stolen from her lips, as Haley's back hit the cold, hard ground below. Sam's smiling face came into view above, victory already sounding in his whiskey eyes.

Gazing down on Haley, her hair fanned out, tangled with the dirt and weeds. A dangerous combination was brewing. The look of surprise in her chocolate eyes combined with her hot panting breath upon his face. Sam lay upon her in all the right places, captivated as tingles surged inside. Even messy and out of breath she was stunning, as the sunlight shined over her face like heavens rays, and for a moment Sam got lost on her. The beauty of her cast a spell over him, like witches at black masses.

Seeing the delirious look in Sam's eyes as he hung above her, Haley saw her opportunity and took it. Skilled and precise, Haley flipped them. This time taking Sam as her prisoner, Haley pinned him beneath her. The strength of her hands and body weight, held him to the ground as her face took the leadership place above.

Sam let out a heavy grunt with the unforeseen turn of events. Looking up, Haley's long blondish-brown hair hung around him, tickling the sides of his face, as a triumphant grin shot wide across her features. She had finally got him. Sure it didn't hurt he had been distracted, but the point was she had won.

Standing on the side as referee and trainer, John didn't miss a thing. Calling the fight to an end, John's lips pursed with growing discontent. What had started out as a routine training session had left them tangled up on the ground. That wasn't what was eating at John though; it was the look in Sam's eyes as he gazed upon Haley. The way Sam had let himself get so distracted by her that he lost. Frustration rumbled up John's gut, with the way his son was opening disobeying his rules when it came to Haley.

The pair climbed to their feet, brushing the loose dirt off, they looked to Dad for his grading. Before John even opened his mouth, Sam could hear the lectured words in his head. His father's heated stare upon him, Sam knew he had been caught, and Dad was now in one hell of a sour mood.

A prideful smile lit up Haley's face as she turned to Dad. Expecting at the very least his approval for finally beating Sam, but the tension in his eyes and knitted brow took her by surprise. Seeing Dad wasn't even looking her way, Haley followed his eye line, and realized Sam and Dad were locked in a heated staring contest, one that said volumes without speaking a word.

"I gave you your orders. Now fall in line." John's harsh voice rang in warning; his drilling gaze never left Sam.

Sam's upper lip twitched with animosity as his shoulders tightened.

"I didn't do anything wrong. You're the one who picked her as my partner." Sam shot back defiantly, saying indirectly it was John's fault Sam fell for Haley. He was one the who brought her into their lives, encouraged their bond. Sam refused to admit he had done anything wrong, because in Sam's mind he hadn't.

"Sam," John cautioned, his temper growing. He took a step heavy toward Sam, feeling the anger burn in his gut to take over, but Dean and Haley jumped in between them, always trying to mediate.

The muscles in Sam's arms tightened with the tension, but Haley's soft hand on his cheek stilled him. Glancing down on her face, Sam easy detected the sadness in her orbs. What was once a proud moment for her was now tarnished by their common squabbles.

"Please don't, just let it go." Haley begged, her soft touch holding his cheek, keeping his eyes within the safety of their connection.

Seeing the pleading in her eyes, as his heart ached from stealing her moment, Sam let out a heavy breath of steam and backed down.

Standing just a few feet away, the anger dissolved on John's face, as an epiphany hit him hard and fast. Like the clouds parting to reveal the bright warm sun, John finally saw the truth. It wasn't just Sam who had feelings, it was Haley too. It was clear as day in the way she gazed upon Sam as if he was the glue that held her pieces together.

Offering him a thankful smile, Haley took Sam's hand in her own, her soft skin locked with his course.

"Let's go for a walk." She spoke softly, only to him, only for him.

His heart warming smile shot wide across his face with her charming presence, as Sam nodded in agreement unable to resist her.

Turning back, Haley let Dad know the plan, always the good daughter.

"We're just going to walk to the end of the road. We won't go far." Haley chimed with a pleasing smile on her face. While it sounded like she was informing Dad, everyone knew she was asking, you always had to ask when it came to John. Those were the rules.

Standing numb by the blinding light of truth, John nodded his approval. Watching them walk hand in hand off into the distance, he saw the truth. They weren't the young kids anymore he had always seen them as in his minds eye, neither of them were. In his mind John could suddenly see the transformation of their image from child to young adult. They were getting older, and the look of affection in Sam's eyes for Haley, the one that concerned John most was mirrored in Haley's eyes now too. She wasn't his innocent little flower that Sam was trying to bloom. She was an equal shift in the weather to Sam's changing seasons, and he needed to worry about her involvement as much as he did Sam's.

Watching his eldest son out of the corner of his eye, pack up the car like the good soldier he was, John knew he had an ally and an insider in Dean.

"Do you think anything is going on between them?" John's rough voice questioned in the crisp spring air. Admitting it wasn't Haley who was naïve about the situation, but John himself.

Hearing his father's voice, Dean's ears perked up. Tossing the duffle bag into the trunk, Dean looked over at his Dad unsure if the statement was rhetorical.

"Honestly?" Dean asked with the distinct arch to his brow, surprised his Dad actually wanted his opinion on something.

Glancing over his shoulder, John's worn wrinkled gaze met Dean's eyes with a look that said he required nothing less.

Looking out onto the dirt road, Dean's eyes caught Sam and Haley disappearing on the horizon. He noted the way her arm was tangled with Sam's, the way she leaned on his side as if he were her rock, and matched his feet for every step.

Previous moments similar in nature filled his in mind, and finally held context. Dean finally saw what they truly looked like, not best friends but a couple.

Shrugging his shoulders lightly, Dean looked back to Dad with his signature piercing green eyes. "Maybe," He admitted honestly.

Trusting Dean's word, and the fact that his son might have insight John, as a father didn't, he nodded to himself.

Running a callused hand along the stubble of his jaw line, John kept a close eye on his youngest ones, and formed a plan in a mind to put out this fire before it burned down the house.

Killing creatures, hunting things that's what John was good at, not all this domestic conflict.

"I want you to have a talk with her. Haley will listen to you." John spoke up, confidence in his plan. As the parent he could understand how they would disobey him, but John held strong belief Haley would listen to Dean. Out of mutual respect and love if nothing else.

_"Fools" said I, "You do not knowSilence like a cancer my words that I might teach you,Take my arms that I might reach you."But my words like silent raindrops fell,And echoedIn the wells of silence._

"The Sound Of Silence" Simon and Garfunkel


	11. Chapter 11

Sam: just turned 16yrs.

Haley: 15yrs.

_**A Cautionary Tale: Whiskey Lullaby**_

_When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love youYou're gonna believe themAnd when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure outWell, count to ten, take it inThis is life before you know who you're gonna beFifteen_

The night of Sam's sixteenth birthday, Dean had managed to make it back to the motel for the big event, but had to leave the next morning. Dad didn't bother showing at all. He left Dean to deliver his excuses.

Dean had taken them out to a diner and a late night joy ride. Jolly grin on his face all night, his Sammy was becoming a man. Then the celebration was over, and he had to leave again.

Two days they were still alone. Dean called earlier, promised to be back tomorrow, but he explained dad would be a few more days, finishing the job. The kids had followed the rules, staying in all the time, trying to make the best of a holiday they didn't celebrate.

Sam and Haley watched old films on the retro motel TV that lost signal every time a semi-truck passed. Huddled on the floor at the base of a bed, they sat side by side eating old popcorn, filling the hours together.

A heavy vehicle rumbled up the road, its engine loud and clear. As the noisy truck passed their window, its horn blew, and the TV fuzzed out yet again.

Having just missed another climatic moment, Haley had had enough.

Frustration raced through her veins, needing to let off steam, Haley threw a piece of popcorn at the television screen.

"This is stupid!" She yelled in a huff. Taking a deep breath, Haley calmed herself.

"Everyone else is allowed to go out and have fun for their birthday." She slightly hinted, darting her eyes on Sam, even though she already knew the answer. Over hearing her classmates, Haley learned about the movies, girl's nights, and parties. Just another way she'd never be like them.

Sam's eyes fell on Haley, sadness to his gaze. "We can't." He answered disappointment on his breath.

Resignation fell over her face, her voice quiet. "I know." They weren't supposed to leave without Dean or dad, except for school. Social gatherings were out of the question.

Watching Haley's face dampen tugged on his heart strings, Sam hated seeing sadness in her eyes. All Sam ever wanted was to make Haley happy.

Running through his brain, Sam tried to think of anything to liven the night. A thought came to mind. Underage inebriation wasn't their style, but it was something he had been saving. So somewhere in his mind it must have been an option. Turning sixteen, it was looking like open season from where Sam sat. Why not pick a recreation everyone else in his family called a daily habit.

Climbing off the floor, Sam left Haley's side, and went to his duffle bag. Rummaging through dirty cloths, books and weaponry, Sam's hand found a bottle.

Putting a good grip on it, he pulled the half empty bottle of whiskey from his duffle bag. Lifting it in the air, Sam gave Haley a questioning stare with an arch to his brow. It wasn't the smartest of ideas, but it was the best he could come up with. They had already read every book in their possession and it would be days before they'd get the chance to go to the library again. Sam wasn't in the mood for anything hunting related, and the television seemed to be annoying her more.

Knees tucked under her chin, arms wrapped securely around her legs, Haley stared at the bottle in Sam's hand, sizing it up. Haley had never had a drink before, but she had seen what it could do to someone more times than she could remember. It made people stupid, clumsy, and horny, but it also usually made them happy too.

Considering her company, trusting Sam with her life. Haley bit her lip nervously, but nodded.

A beaming goofy grin lifted Sam's face to her answer. Walking back over to her, Sam plopped down on the floor. Unscrewing the cap, he pulled the bottle under his nose, and gave it a whiff.

"Stole it from dad last time he was here after he passed out." Sam confessed, his nose crinkled with the familiar bitter smell.

Sam's eyes, gave the bottle a once over. Then without hesitation, he brought the bottle to his lips, and tilted it back.

Taking a big gulp, Sam hissed as he pulled the bottle from his lips. The hot harsh liquor slipped down his throat. Extending his arm, Sam shoved the bottle in Haley's direction, her turn.

Taking the bottle into unsure palms, Haley stared at it for a moment.

Nerves fluttered through her belly. She knew it would taste terrible. What she didn't know was what effect it would have on her. Ignoring her inner wisdom, Haley put on her game face. Anything Sam could do, she could do better.

Bringing the bottle to her lips, she tilted it back. Trying to top Sam as usual, Haley chugged two big gulps, and ripped the bottle from her lips.

Her mouth salivated instantly against the harsh taste. Coughing, Haley fought back gags, while trying to gasp fresh air.

Partner in crime, Sam patted her back heartedly. Big grin on his face, eyes lit up the way she loved them.

"Take it easy, rookie. There's plenty to go around." Sam nudged her playfully. Wrapping one around her shoulder, Sam pulled Haley close, as his other hand took hold of the bottle, and brought it back to his lips for another taste.

Twenty minutes later the bottle was gone, thirty minutes later Sam and Haley were hammered like a nail to a board.

Lying on the bed, old sheets tangled around her, Haley stared up at the pop-corn ceiling. The dots above spinning in her vision, her body tingling, Haley licked her lips.

"I feel funny." Haley giggled, squirming from the intoxication; she turned to Sam beside her.

Lying on his side, Sam watched Haley mesmerized. He had never met another girl like her. She made his insides tingle, and his heart skip a beat when she looked his way. Alcohol raced through Sam's veins, clouding his judgment, but everything he felt was genuine.

Reaching out Sam cupped her cheek in his palm, instantly amazed by how soft it felt. "You're so beautiful, Hales." His lips numb, Sam spoke freely.

Haley stared in his puppy brown eyes, paralyzed for a moment. The way Sam looked at her felt hypnotizing. It made her feel loved and wanted, like she was the only girl in the world. That's why Sam got to have all of her; he made Haley feel cherished and special. The feel of his big hand on her cheek, felt penetrating and soothing. Haley closed her eyes surrendering to him.

Leaning over, without a word, Haley kissed Sam. Brushing her lips against his, Haley instantly felt him kiss her back. The liquored up teens found each other. Exploring kisses, and the way their mouths felt when united while intoxicated.

When it became clear there were no breaks in this runaway car, Sam pulled Haley's much smaller figure against him. Controlling heat began to fill his insides from having her so near on the bed, while tasting her lips. This newer sensation felt thrilling. An insatiable hunger, it only seemed to want more, Sam shifted them until he hovered above her. Booze captained Sam's mind, but somewhere inside pressed him to put her first.

Pulling back, face hovered over her; Sam's whiskey eyes probed her chestnut brown.

"Hales?" He questioned, the uncertain look in his orbs saying, he wondered if she was as unsure by what they were doing as he was.

Staring up at Sam, his lips swollen from her kiss, his warm breath uneven on her face, Haley didn't know what this was. Her body felt different, it felt alive with new sensations, mixed with the alcohol it was a potent combination.

Offering him a coy smile, the best her drunken mind could muster, Haley shoved Sam off her, and rolled to the edge of bed. Without a reason or direction in mind, Haley managed to find her feet, and rose from the mattress.

Haley made it a few steps on her aimless journey before her lack of balance won out, and she almost toppled to the ground. Luckily Sam had followed Haley off the bed, and caught her just in time. Always looking after his girl, drunk or not.

Worried whiskey eyes rained down on Haley as Sam's strong arms held her up.

The concern in his eyes brought another giggle to her lips. The whiskey rearing its head again, Haley felt silly inside.

"My lips tingle." She laughed; eyes lit up and lost on his image. Reaching up Haley ran her finger tips along the plump flesh of his pout. "How about yours?" She questioned playfully.

Feeling her gentle touch tempt his lips, Sam gave into her. Haley had always been his weak spot, anything she wanted of his she could have. What he was feeling wasn't just the bottle; it only amplified his feelings, making them crystal clear.

Gently Sam kissed her fingers tips, as he answered quietly. "They tingle too." Sam admitted, lost in her chestnut colored eyes that saw right into his soul.

A sloppy smile spilled over Haley's face, loving his answer, loving the feel of his kiss on her fingers. His unyielding gaze made things deep inside Haley flutter.

Reaching down, Haley wrapped her hand over Sam's at her cotton covered waist. Her limbs felt numb but her skin sensitive. Leading Sam, Haley placed his hand over her heart.

Lost in Sam's eyes, Haley questioned him again. "Can you feel me?"

_When all you wanted was to be wantedWish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now_

He could feel her heart beat under his palm. Sam swallowed hard as everything inside pushed him to take this further then it's ever gone. He had never done anything other than kiss Haley before, but some how his hands wanted more. Going with the moment, Sam could have combusted as he watched Haley's eyes close. A look of satisfaction filled her face.

"Yeah," Sam breathlessly admitted, alcohol and lust hot on his breath. He could sense her like dew in the early morning the air. She loved having him near and trusted him completely.

Eyes held closed, a slow forming smile of satisfaction covered her face as he read her feelings perfectly. Her hand found a home over his heart. Her senses wide open, but altered from the alcohol, Haley tuned in to Sam's frequency.

"It's like you're in heaven." She whispered, lost in the sensation. His hand felt indescribably good as if it belonged to her. Then it slipped from her heart, tracing her shape in his palm, a trail of tingles formed under his touch. Haley knew it was the whiskey that made her lenient enough to allow this, but it was all Sam that was convincing her.

His hand slowly traveled, exploring the terrain that captivated his undivided attention. Touching Haley, Sam understood why Dean was such a horny toad; nothing had ever felt like this. The tops of his fingers brushed under the base of her tee shirt, Haley didn't flinch, but still Sam couldn't do it. He wasn't entirely sure how they had ended up touching, but he still knew the limits.

Sam had never felt anything like this; it demanded attention, and consumed his every thought. All he could think of was touching Haley more, and feeling connected to her as he did it. He was becoming more intoxicated off her then the whiskey ever could. Lost on Haley's face, he could feel what she was feeling just by touching her.

Her complete trust gave him courage. Sam's big hand grew bold, slipping up under her shirt, and hesitantly roaming his breath grew ragged, mouth dry.

Taking a deep breath, Sam stopped half way up her stomach, her skin felt like satin in his hands. His hand twitched with the urge to go further, but Sam loved Haley too much to take it that far.

Feeling his hand pull back, Haley blinked open her eyes, and found Sam blinding her gaze. His whiskey colored eyes held something new, something that called to her, like a quiet begging.

A mischievous grin lifted her drunken lips "I want to try something." She quietly instructed, devilish grin still on her face.

Sam swallowed hard, then sucked in a deep breath, trying to catch his breath. His mouth went dry as he watched Haley lean in close. "You're turn." She quietly explained with glossy eyes.

Looking Sam over, Haley had seen him a million times, but for once her fingertips inspected his every groove. His stomach was tight, his solid chest temped her fingers even hidden under a shirt. Despite his young age, Sam was built tall and lean, but solid and strong. Sam's eyes closed, just as Haley's fingers tips grazed his tight stomach. She felt his muscles tense under her touch. Delicate, daring fingers danced up his shirt covered chest, her fingers slipping along his breast bone, Sam shivered under her touch.

Licking his lips, her hands felt like heaven, and all he wanted was for her to keep going. Liquor still swimming through his veins, Sam didn't want to think this through, he just wanted feel this, whatever it was.

Haley could feel the power she had in her hands. Bolden by liquor, Haley wondered what her best friend would do if she kissed him right now. Taking it a step further, despite caution rumbling in her belly, Haley pulled Sam down to her size, while reached up on her toes, and surprised him with a kiss.

A shuttered breath escaped Sam's throat as he felt her soft delicate lips lightly kiss his neck. Feeling her delicious mouth travel up his neck, Sam felt himself loosing control of the moment. A powerful urge raced up from below, something he had never felt before.

_Back then I swore I was gonna marry him somedayBut I realized some bigger dreams of mine_

Rational, smart Sam couldn't control this new feeling, not with the liquor in his veins, and he wasn't sure he even wanted to.

Now Sam understood what Dean meant when he'd say 'caught up'. It was like a tidal wave of urges and feelings, and all he could do was dive in. Feeling her burning kiss trace his jaw line, a grunt slipped from Sam's lips. Knowing her mouth was finally close enough to retrieve; Sam gave into the moment, loosing the battle to maintain control.

Just as her soft lips reached his chin, Sam reached out to touch her.

Cupping her face in his palms, he pulled her lips to his was urgency. The burning in his belly only subsided by her kiss. Melting her mouth with his, Sam savored her sweet taste on his lips, as his tongue for the first time ever, dared to slip inside her mouth.

Something feverish like adrenaline ran through his body, Sam's hands clawed at Haley's tee shirt without logically thought. Ripping the fabric up and off her body, but something inside him was smart enough to leave her under-shirt for modesty. As soon as the distracting fabric got out his way, Sam quickly stumbled them to the bed. His hands secured her body to his.

Lifting Haley onto the mattress, the kiss never broke as Sam climbed on after her. All Sam could think of was getting closer to Haley, being next to her, every inch of her. She felt and tasted sweeter than he could have ever imagined. His hands explored Haley's figure, as his mouth blessed its way down her neck, getting as much of her under his lips as he could discover. Breaking only for a second, Sam yanked his shirt off the back of his neck, as his lips found her once again.

Sam's weight atop her, as he unveiled her with his kisses, Haley felt more than just his touch. She felt his undivided attention and his unconditional love; it felt better than anything ever had.

Feeling his mouth slip down her collarbone, his hands roam her terrain, drunken Haley loved the feel of this moment on a primal level more than anything she had felt before.

Heart pounding out of control from Sam's kisses, anxiousness crept up in Haley's belly. _They were too young to be doing this, to be taking it this far_. Sadness pierced her racing heart suddenly, knowing there was no one around to enforce oversight, no adults to be found. She'd have to be the responsible one to stop them from going too far.

Sam's eager touch, his kiss felt electric, and her body went with his every move while begging for more, but the anxiousness grew louder, stronger.

This was all happening so fast. Her heart pounded as if it could burst… _too fast_. Haley feared where they would it go if left unchecked.

How far would they take it if she didn't say no? Unable to quiet the conflicting voices inside, Haley shoved Sam's shoulder suddenly, as his heated lips slipped down her chest.

"Sam wait, stop." Haley cried out, fear ringing in her voice.

Her plea reached Sam's ears, and like the soft heart he is, he pulled back from her instantly. Breath panting on her face, Sam tried to regain coherent thought.

Squirming out from under him, Haley created space between them. Nerves racing through her, Haley stared at Sam shirtless, then fearfully looked herself over.

Partially undressed and drunk, Haley felt tears well up in her eyes, she felt cheap.

"I'm not ready for this. We're not ready for this. And I don't plan on doing this for a long time. Not until I'm ready and I'm not ready." She admitted on a rattled breath.

Sam's eyes found hers, the look of sadness in her iris, wetness brimming her eyes, his heart broke into pieces. Hurting Haley was the last thing Sam would ever want to do. Guilt rushed through Sam's heart, punishing himself for letting this get so out hand. He was supposed to protect her, not touch her. Those were the rules.

A slow, steady hand reached out, lightly resting on her bare shoulder, as their eyes stayed locked. "Hales, I'm sorry." Genuine apology off his breath, emphasized by guilt riddled eyes.

"Come here. It's ok." Sam tried to reassure her, quiet the pain in her eyes. Heart still racing, Sam couldn't believe how out of control everything had gotten in a matter of minutes.

Staring into Sam's orbs, Haley knew they were the most honest eyes she'd ever seen. She could see the realization of their actions hit him too. Haley wasn't afraid of Sam, but now she was afraid of what they were capable of together.

Giving her shoulder a little tug, Sam was surprised to see how easily she gave in. Cuddling close against his bare chest, Sam wrapped strong arms around her.

Burying his face in her sweet smelling locks, Sam comforted Haley.

"We won't do this again, not until you're ready." Sam promised, holding her close. Letting out a sigh, Sam couldn't believe what he had almost done with Haley. He was supposed to be the grown up for them; he wasn't supposed to take her to bed.

_When you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fallI've found time can heal most anything and you just might find who you're supposed to beI didn't know who I was supposed to be, _

_At fifteen_

_Taylor Swift, "Fifteen"_

**Note: This chapter was loosely based on a true event. This chapter is just meant to illustrate how easy things can get away from your true intentions when alcohol is involved, especially when you're young. And that there's moments in everyone's life that are important enough to stop and think through. Instead of acting on impulse. That's what I was trying to express with Haley and Sam.**

**Why I thought it was applicable for Sam and Haley? Because while they are good kids, and they are, that's why they stopped. They've also been raised in an environment where sex and alcohol are casually indulged in. I think both Sam and Haley think for themselves, but they are still a product of their environment as much as we all are.**

**So now that you've read it. Please tell me what you think. I am very uncertain about this chapter. I almost didn't post it. So do you like it? Hate it? Love it? And most importantly, Why? Please share…**


	12. Chapter 12

_**When Hearts Like Ours Meet**_

_Love Is A Burning Thing _

_And It Makes A Fiery RingBound By Wild DesireI Fell Into A Ring Of Fire_

They moved lazily about the motel room as the day dwindled down. Dean positioned on the surface of his unmade bed. His assortment of weapons lying all around him as if it was a showcase on display. His 10 inch bowie knife gripped in hand as he ran the blade across a whetstone insuring it's always at it's sharpest. The grating noise filled the room with a spine shivering itch.

Sam leaned against the headboard of the opposite bed, book on ancient Latin exorcism rituals in hand. His whiskey eyes focused as they passed from line to line. Trying to ignore Dean's loud annoyance.

Haley moved aimlessly about the room dragging her feet. Boredom mostly claiming her mind, an ailment often found with isolated life on the road.

Finding her way over to the space between the two beds, Haley took a light seat on the edge of Sam's bed, and eyed Dean's movements carefully, but silently for a moment.

Letting out a heavy exaggerated breath, she licked her dry lips and spoke up.

"Dean, I'm hungry." She told him with another sigh and big sympathy earning eyes.

Focused emerald orbs glanced up from his work briefly acknowledging he had heard her plea. "Few more minutes, baby girl. Gotta get this just right. Then we'll go get some burgers." He answered on a low drawl as his eyes returned to the task at hand.

Sam's eyes finally pulled from his book, and caught Haley's long shiny locks out of the corner of his eye. The sweet melody of her voice echoed in his head, and called to his heart. A mischief spark went off inside his chest and willed him to move.

Setting his book down, Sam moved lightly, trying to be as undetectable as possible. He slipped his feet under the blankets lying halfway down the bed.

Turning to his side, a smile like a super nova in the sky eclipsed his face as in a dash Sam attacked Haley's waist and pulled her down onto the bed with him.

In a split second Sam pinned her beneath him, and yanked the covers over their head.

Laughter spilled from Haley's lips, loud and contagious as she felt his strong fingers find her body and begin to tickle all her right places mercilessly.

Haley thrashed between his grip, giggles and snorts erupted loudly as she fought for each breath.

Sam's smile sustained as he showed her no clemency, knowing the smile bursting from her face proved she didn't really any anyway.

Spirit vibrated from her laughter, light sparkled in her eyes as every inch of Haley called to the deepest part of Sam, the part that truly made him who he was.

Something powerful that called only her name pumped through his heart, and Sam's fingers finally stilled at her sides.

Gazing down on her, time and space suspended in the air trapped between the sheets. Their eyes locked as their souls touched in a way only they could. The sight of her stole the breath on Sam's lips. Amazed that even the simplest things about her could still his heart

_The Taste Of Love Is SweetWhen Hearts Like Ours MeetI Fell For You Like A ChildOh, But The Fire Went Wild_

In that moment Sam wanted to kiss Haley. He wanted to kiss her like his lungs demanded air, but Sam knew he couldn't. Surely Dean would recognize that noise and be on their tail even before their lips parted.

So Sam chose something better, something deeper. Gazing into her eyes, eyes that called to him in his deepest core, Sam's hand gently reached up to the top of her shirt.

Delicately and with the utmost respect, he pulled the fabric down until his fingers brushed the tip of her bra. If it were anyone else doing this Haley would have protest, but trusting Sam completely she didn't resist.

Seeing complete faith in him shooting from her eyes, Sam didn't hesitate before laying down upon her, and lowering his cheek to the fleshy place above her heart. Cherishing Haley like the prize she was in his eyes.

Softly Sam's cheek nestled in a home on her satiny skin. The sound of her heart pounding rhythmically in his ear, as he felt her fingers tangle smoothly in his shaggy locks.

Closing his eyes, Sam felt Haley's essence seep inside him. Taking slow deep breath of her sweet nectar scent he let their connection open wider and interweave them like a tangled web. When he could fell her surging through his veins like his own blood, Sam whispered softly against her skin so only she could hear him.

"I can feel you." He admitted, basking in the solace as his face leaned in and kissed her skin tenderly, cherishing her.

Haley's fingers tightened in his hair as one of her hands slipped to Sam's cheek. Her finger tips brushed the rounded skin delicately. "Me too." Haley confessed in a whispers breath. Her eyes held closed as she drifted away with him.

Sitting on the bed, Dean grew more tense by the moment as his mouth tightened and he ran the blade ever more firmly against the stone. When it was laughter and movement he heard filtering out from under the sheets his suspicion only itched. They had always been playful and that wasn't something he wanted to take from them, but the silence was something else. When the laughter and movement ceased only the be replaced by silence. When Sam's towering sheet covered form seemed to collapse and melt into Haley, that's when alarm bells went off in Dean's head.

Dean tried to be understanding, he saw and respected Sam and Haley's bond in a way their Dad couldn't, but he wasn't stupid either. In fact Dean had been around the block enough times to have a brain full of worse case scenario's shooting through his head from the un-viewable position the kids were in.

Clearing his throat loudly, Dean had reached his limit. "Whatever you're doing under there you have five seconds to pull the blankets back or I'm coming in after you two." His low rough voice warned.

The tone in Dean's voice backed his words, and Sam reluctantly pulled back from Haley in a second. His eyes found hers as he surfaced upward, disappoint swirling in the both their eyes from the loss of connection.

Sam rolled to her side before the tented blanket came down and revealed how close they had actually been.

As the blankets pulled back, the pair were met with Dean's heated gaze. Sheepish smiles filled their faces as they readjusted higher on the bed.

Dean had avoided his dad orders to have 'the talk' with Haley. Frankly, he didn't think it was his place, but orders were orders, and after witnessing what he did Dean finally decided now was the time. "Haley lets go get those burgers." His voice insisted as Dean placed the knife carefully down on the mattress and steadily rose to his feet.

Both Sam and Haley began to climb off the bed, but Dean's breath stopped them.

"Just Haley. We'll bring the food back here Sammy, eat with you. We wont be long." Dean spoke as he grabbed his leather jacket off the back of a chair. They couldn't see his face from this angle, but they didn't need to, to know this wasn't negotiable.

Haley's weary eyes shot to Sam with hesitancy. She didn't fear Dean, and yet she knew she was in trouble.

Sam offered her dewy sensitive eyes, feeling responsible for the situation he started.

Her feet stalled in the carpet for a moment before Dean's forceful voice pushed her to move. "Come on Haley." Dean called as he walked out the door.

The classic car hummed down the road, it's engine a rhythmic soothing noise as Dean and Haley sat in silence at first. Basking in the awkward feel, while trying to pinpoint the right moment to speak.

Glancing over at Haley for a moment in the passenger seat, Dean noted the innocence that radiated off her like the shining sunlight that held her in a spotlight through the window.

In this light, alone together, Dean couldn't image his baby girl doing any of the thing his nightmarish mind had been cooking up minutes ago when she was with Sam.

Clearing his throat, Dean's emerald eyes held the safety of the road as his voice finally came to life. "Haley," He called and waited until her sweet chocolate orbs were upon him before speaking again. "Are you and Sam up to anything?" Never one to beat around the bush, Dean got right to the point.

Watching the side of his strong features as they gazed out at the road, Haley felt she knew what he was asking, but needed to be certain. "What do you mean?" She quietly asked as her fingers tapped nervously in her lap.

Piercing emerald eyes darted to her in a flash as his perfect pout moved.

"Are you guys messing around together?" Dean questioned, trying to hold all roughness from his naturally gritty tone.

Her eyes grew wide with understanding. "Oh,' Slipped off her breath, surprised by his blatant approach even though Haley knew she shouldn't be.

Dean's alarmed face whipped to her in a second. "Oh?" His breath thick with shock.

Their eyes held with the intensity of the moment, Dean in disbelief, Haley trapped by the weight of his stare.

Finally her eyes broke free, and returned out the windshield just in the time to notice Dean had been so distract that he let the car swerve into on coming traffic.

"Dean!" She screamed as little frantic hands grabbed for the wheel.

In a flash Dean jumped into gear and back into reality. Steering the car back into their own lane, his horrified eyes stayed glued to the road as he gripped the wheel tighter. As much as he thought he would be prepared for her answer, he saw now he wasn't at all.

Nerves twisted in Haley's belly, she hadn't expected Dean to freak out to that extreme. Like a church mouse she spoke up. "Maybe we should talk about this when we get to the diner. You know, when you're not driving." She meekly suggested, but her eyes didn't dare look his way.

Dean's jaw tightened as his knuckles turned white against his death grip that held the wheel. Silently he nodded in agreement with a heated focused gaze.

_I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of FireI Went Down, Down, DownAnd The Flames Went HigherAnd It Burns, Burns, BurnsThe Ring Of Fire_

"_Ring Of Fire" Johnny Cash_

**Note: **What do you think of Sam and Haley's connection? Do you think they're too young to have such a connection? And the part where Sam places his head on Haley's heart, was that too intimate for your taste? Because I meant it to be intimate but not sensual.

For the record Haley is not in trouble. She just thinks she is. Dean adores her but he's concerned. So they're going to talk.


	13. Chapter 13

_**The Times Are Changing**_

_Come gather 'round people Wherever you roam _

_And admit that the waters Around you have grown _

_And accept it that soon You'll be drenched to the your time to you Is worth savin'Then you better start swimmin' Or you'll sink like a stoneFor the times they are a-changin'._

Awkwardly they sat in the cheap plastic booth waiting on their take-out order to arrive.

Impatience consumed Dean like a child eagerly awaiting news of importance. Cracking his knuckles, he had waited for to her speak first, but now his patience had run out.

"So?" Dean blurted out with penetrating emerald eyes shooting at Haley from across the booth as his eyebrows danced.

Her eyes grew big as an owl's as Haley's stare displayed her inability to make her mind think. "So?" She repeated.

Nativity swirled in her large orbs, but this time Dean wasn't buying it. He knew, she knew what he was asking. "So are you two bumping uglies?" He asked her dead on, bracing inside for her answer.

Something clueless from lack of understanding filled her gaze. "Bumping… uglies?" Haley repeated slowly with a furrowed brow, lack of understanding easy to detect from her lips.

"You know, doing the midnight lambda, making a happy ending, putting heels to Jesus…" Dean rambled with a heavy breath, tension building in his veins with her impending earth shattering answer.

Bewilderment thickened in Haley's eyes, and Dean could see he was going to have to be blunt about this. "Are you and Sam having sex?" Dean shot out raw and un-fancy like his nature.

Haley's eyes dilated at the pupil as they gazed at Dean sitting across from her, shock etched on face. "No!" Haley gasped, not wasting a second.

Dean let out a sigh of relief he didn't even consciously know he had been holding in. A weight lifted from his chest with her reassurance.

Seeing Dean lighten up a little bit, Haley cracked a joke trying to win a smirk from his hardened face and ease the moment. "I'm saving that for you." She teased playfully.

A huffed laugh lifted Dean's chest with her attempts to joke. "Good," Dean teased back equally infectious. "Then you'll stay a virgin forever. Just the way I want you." He jabbed at her with sarcastic humor.

Haley rolled her eyes as she bit back with satire, "Ha-ha, your funny." She shot back before sticking her tongue out at him unabashed.

Seeing the exuberant life bursting from Haley, it pained Dean to think life could steal that youthful spirit from her if she moved too fast down the yellow brick road.

"You won't like it." All of the sudden he spoke up seriously as a matter of fact.

Haley's head tilted to the side with his sudden change in atmosphere.

"Won't like what?" Her chocolate orbs zeroed in with intrigue. Hanging on his every word.

Their eyes locked as Dean's heart pounded with a protective streak. All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms, and hide her preciousness away from the tainted world.

Licking his sexy pout, Dean explained. "Sex, you wont like it. It's messy, and clumsy, and awkward, especially at first. You wouldn't like it at all." He rambled with every excuse that popped into his head.

A smile, eye catching like when the moon eclipses the sun, filled her face before Haley burst out into laughter.

His brow furrowed as his piercing gaze pinned her, "What's so funny?" Dean questioned not seeing the humor.

Her fingers covered her lips lightly as Haley tried to contain her giggles.

"I'm sorry. I just never thought I'd see the day Dean Winchester would say sex was a bad thing." Haley mused.

A few hearty chuckles slipped off his breath with the truth to her words. She had a point, he sounded ridiculous, but Haley had a way of making him crazy. Seeing honesty was the only way with her, something he should have known from the start. Dean opened his heart in a way he'd only do for her or Sammy and was brutally honest.

Reaching across the table, Dean took her smaller hand into his gently with love as their eyes intertwined. "I know I'm not a good example when it comes to women. I go out and hook up with random chicks. Then wake up in the morning and never call them again. I don't feel anything for them, but their company." His rough texture voice admitted.

Softly Dean squeezed her hand clasped in his, sounding he was about to make a pivotal point. "But there are special girls out there. Girl's a guy will go crazy for and hang on her every word. A guy will wait for that girl, because she's worth it. She's a prize, not a party hand out. That's what you are, baby girl. You're special." His breath grew thick with a heart attached to his words as his pupil pierced her with conviction.

Haley's eyes softened upon Dean with the open revealing love he was showering her with. She squeezed his hand tightly back as a gentle smile lifted her lips, touched. "Thanks Dean."

Gazing upon the only girl that would ever steal his heart, because he dared to love her in a way he would never love another women, Dean could see she heard him.

Reaching out Dean cupped her supple cheek in his rough palm before leaning up and over the table to place a tender kiss upon her forehead.

Lowering back into his seat Dean took a deep breath, and was honest with the reality of the situation. "Dad knows about you and Sammy. He asked me to talk with you, because he doesn't want it, but I'll keep your secret if you promise me you'll consider holding things off with Sammy. You guys have plenty of time. I know you're feeling it for each other, but just wait and grow a little bit before you start messing around or having sex." Piercing emerald eyes pinned her, begging for this much.

Haley's heart tugging charm filled her face in a flash. "I already told you I'm saving myself for you." She grew witty, a trait she learned from him. Trying to earn a smile from his serious face.

A hearty chuckle slipped from Dean's plump pout as his head shook lightly amused. She could deal them out with the best of them.

Seeing that gut fluttered grin of his, Haley gave him the answer he more then earned.

"I promise."

Dean squeezed her hand again, as his thumb danced aimlessly along her soft skin.

"Thank you." With an honest breath Dean expressed his gratitude.

A sweet smiling waitress with a winking eye for Dean delivered their wrapped up meal with her number. She earned his sexy smirk in return and a guaranty to call.

Rising from the booth ready to leave, Dean wrapped a protective arm around Haley's shoulders and pulled her near. "I'm gonna have fun with that one, but don't be like that when you grow up, baby girl." He whispered into her ear.

Glancing up at him, Haley smiled softly with a nod before she spoke, letting him in on the truth. "I want you to know Sam means everything to me, and that's not going to change."

Pulling her closer into her crook of his arm, Dean gazed down upon his little angel.

"I know, I didn't expect you to." He answered truthfully with a smirk that made her gut flutter.

Taking a deep breath, despite how badly he had dreaded this conversation and the mild heart attack it had given him several times, Dean was glad they got this out into the open. That in the muck of everything at least he and Haley had honesty.

_Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land _

_And don't criticize What you can't understandYour sons and your daughters Are beyond your commandYour old road is Rapidly agin'.Please get out of the new one If you can't lend your handFor the times they are a-changin'._

"_Times They Are A Changing" Bob Dylan_

**Note:** So what did you think of Dean's talk with Haley? Did it sound like Dean? It was hard, because I wanted it to be serious and heartfelt, but also sound like Dean.


	14. Chapter 14

**Note:** This is a very dark supernatural chapter. So viewer discretion is advise. It contains violence and adult content. So if that's not your cup of tea, don't read this chapter. You have been warned.

_**Going Under**_

_I tuck you in, warm withinKeep you free from sin'Til the sandman he comes_

Minnesota was a place the Winchester's would never forget, even though they didn't know it at first. The hunt started out typical. A shape shifter, reeking havoc on innocent women in a quiet community, but this case would turn out different. This case would change the way they saw hunting. It reminded them the dangers at every turn, and reinforced why John had always drilled self defense into their bones. Because here, in this place, everything would be tested.

It was nearing the end of summer, so schools weren't an issue for debate. John had set the family up in a cheap, low end motel, and called it home. He and Dean went to work, identifying the problem, then they searched the town for the shape shifter, once Haley identified that's what it was.

This creature was evasive, and harder to find then they had anticipated. It was sneaky in its movements and viscous with its attacks. The hunt dragged on for over a week, and the men were growing frustrated, always being just one step behind another grisly murder.

Then the night came that the stars aligned, and everything fell into place. It was a mundane and unexciting night, as Dean and Haley drove through town on their way to pick up another round of burgers for dinner. The sun was lowering on the horizon, with the windows down the air was warm and thick on their skin.

Haley and Dean listened to a little Led Zeppelin, as the car rolled easily down the road.

Not a care in the world, until something caught Dean's eye.

Instantly his face tightened, his emerald eyes focused, as Dean quickly pulled the car over to the curb. His voice came to life quick and determined. Dean saw it, he just spotted that damn thing that was causing him and dad such a headache trying to find. Dean knew he should call Dad for back up, but there wasn't time. The shifter could be gone by then.

Instructing Haley to stay inside the car, no matter what, Dean tucked his gun loaded with silver bullets into his jeans, and charged into the quiet small town streets.

Nerves raced in Haley's heart for Dean, as she watched him leave. She didn't like the idea of him going after that thing alone, it didn't sound safe.

As the minutes passed apprehension in her heart grew. Haley's eyes rapidly scanned the streets for any sign of him, but none availed.

When Haley's heart began to pound in her chest, and she was moments from walking to a pay phone and calling dad, Dean suddenly reappeared.

Climbing calmly back in the car, Dean spoke briefly before starting the engine. "It got away, but I think I know where it's headed."

Her heart slowed its pace with his return, as Dean drove down the street with a destination in mind. Haley couldn't believe he was actually letting her tag along, but she wasn't complaining either. Seeing this as her big chance, to show him she capable of helping.

Just down the street, Dean pulled into a cheap, run down apartment complex, and pulled around the back.

Paint chipped from the worn down doors, and forgotten structure. Only a few cars lingered in the parking lot, not another soul in sight, as Haley's eyes scanned around looking for the man she had seen Dean go after.

Smoothly, Dean pulled into a parking spot, and killed the engine. Slowly, he turned to Haley with a gentle smile. "Thanks for helping me out, kid." He called with his trademark smooth manner and quick wink to the eye.

_Something's wrong, shut the lightHeavy thoughts tonight And they aren't of Snow WhiteDreams of war, dreams of liarsDreams of dragon's fire And of things that will bite, yeah_

Dean's piercing eyes lingered on Haley, as his lips moved again.

"You're getting older now." He acknowledged with a swagger to his brow.

A smile shot wide on Haley's face, that's what she had been trying to tell him for awhile now, but he always seemed to see her as just the baby. "That's right." She chimed in agreement with a quick proud nod, holding her head higher.

Something shifted in Dean's eyes, as they barreled down on her. A sexy smirk filled his lips with her answer. The kind that made the ladies melt whenever Dean handed it out, but he had never delivered it to Haley before. She stared at him with a knitting brow, slightly confused. Until he reached out, and gently stroked the side of her face.

"You're a pretty girl, Haley." Dean spoke low and husky on his breath, before his tongue hungrily swept over his lips. His hand grazed down her bare arm, and landed on her thigh, where her shorts and skin met.

Heart shooting to life with his touch, it wasn't just the words he said, but the way he said it. Suggestive and wanting, as his hand touched her in a way she knew Dean never would. Shivers rippled under her skin, and burned where his touch lingered. Haley instantly realized she had been tricked. It was the shifter who climbed in the car with her, not Dean. Dean would never look at her in that heated way, never touch her with a motive.

Fear shot through her veins, and panic threatened to crumble her where she sat, but Haley refused to be a victim. Swallowing the lump in her throat to summon strength, Haley decided to take the upper hand before it realized she was on to it.

Lower lip quivering, Haley prayed her voice sounded convincing as she spoke.

"How pretty?" Her words came out slow, but inviting, as her big eyes shot up at the shifter who had stolen Dean's striking appearance. The sight of her beloved Dean being used against her, so vile she could have ripped his face off.

That sensual smirk of Dean's widened on his face with her innocent and yet equally suggestive reply.

Watching as he leaned in toward her face just like she wanted, her insides screamed with alarm. Haley clenched her fist at her side, and waited until he was right where she wanted him.

Putting her shoulder into it as his face came near, Haley swung with every ounce of strength she had, socking the shifter hard and fast in the face.

He flung back against the seat, and loud a groan of pain echoed through the car. Haley's frantic hands scrambled for the door handle. Wrapping a shaking hand around the warm metal, Haley yanked open the door.

She was half way out, when the shape shifter rebounded and tackled her. Together they tumbled out of the car. Landing hard on the black pavement, Haley knocked her head forcefully on the ground, as his weight atop her intensified the fall.

A pained cry fell from Haley's lips, as the shifter's hands instantly grabbed at her squirming body, trying to restrain her. Haley screamed for her life, and fought his every move, hand for hand. Small but quick, fast and trained, Haley gave the shifter a bigger fight than he ever intended when taking her, as they struggle about the filthy ground for the upper hand.

Grabbing Haley's hair, the shifter stumbled to his feet, dragging the smaller girl with him.

Screaming her lungs hoarse, Haley kicked and swung blindly, as she was yanked to her feet. The tall, strong, fake version of Dean forcefully pulled her toward the apartments.

While looking for the shape shifter, it had found Dean instead. The shifter had taken him by surprise, gotten the upper hand, and when Dean came to, he was alone in a foul smelling apartment. Breaking free of his restraints, Dean had escaped out a window.

Now standing alone on the street, Dean's eyes were wide as a full moon. His heart raced like a man mid heartache.

Dean stood in shocked disbelief, at the empty spot where he had parked the car, and left Haley in it.

The car and Haley gone, fear shot through his heart with a velocity he had never felt before. Dean knew she hadn't taken the car, she'd never do that without telling him.

The voices inside his head screamed to call dad, but Dean could already hear the belligerent rant he'd get from the old man for screwing this one up so royally.

Wanting to fix it himself, Dean hesitated for a moment, and that's when he heard it. A good block over at least, but Dean would know that cry anywhere. It was Haley, her cry a blood curdling scream. His gut clenched, her cries came from the direction of the apartment, and Dean knew in that moment, that's where she was. Not wasting a second, Dean's feet began to pound the pavement even before his mind had fully registered the urge to move, full speed down the street.

Seeing the old wooden door in her eye line, Haley screamed louder, her lungs aching with the force. It was merely cheap plywood with fading paint, but Haley knew without needing to be told. That was the kind of door that once you entered it, you never came back out.

Her survival instincts kicked in hard, as adrenaline rushed through her veins. If she was going to be taken by this thing, she was going to be taken fighting.

Balling her little fist, Haley saw a good shot out of the corner of her eye. Attacking with everything overflowing inside her, Haley socked the fake Dean, as hard as she could in the gut.

_Hush little baby don't say a wordAnd never mind that noise you heardIt's just the beasts under your bedIn your closet in your head_

His grip lessoned on her instantly, as he fell forward in pain. Choking for breath, but his fingers stayed tangled in her hair, as Haley tried to run.

The repercussions came hard and fast, Haley watched as if in slow motion, as Dean's powerful, closed fist came swinging back at her face.

Knocking her senseless, the blow sent sparks shooting across Haley's vision. Her head throbbed with the force, as her mouth stung where he split open her lips. His fist pulled away in a second, as a metallic taste rapidly filled her mouth from the blood. Close to being broken, her jaw spasm as her teeth loosened and Haley's body went limp.

Her mind filled with thick, fuzzy fog from the blow. Haley struggled in his grip, but the fight was lost from within her. Her coordination off, thought process distorted.

Taking the lead while she was disabled, he opened the door. The shifter dressed as Dean, yanked Haley inside. Tossing her carelessly on the bed, he quickly locked the door behind them, and moved in for the kill.

Haley's mind barely processed she was inside until the pungent smell of rotting flesh overwhelmed her nose. In that foggy place inside her mind, Haley wondered if it was the stench of his discarded skins or his victims. A tiny voice deep inside said, probably both.

Then his breath was hot and vile on Haley's neck and face. His heavy weight pushed her into the mattress. His lips burned her ear, as he gave Haley a message.

"I don't usually go for little girls, but I'd sure love to teach your family a lesson. And when they find out what I'm going do to you, they're going to know they shouldn't have come here." With Dean's thick raspy breath, the shifter warned her of what was to come. Slow torturous hell.

Haley's mind felt distorted from receiving the most powerful hit she had ever taken, but she wasn't a quitter. His words pounded in her skull, and reignited the spark of will to live within her.

Shooting back to life, Haley swung wildly, as the shifter's lips trailed down her neck. "Get off me!" She screamed like a mad woman as she shoved at him with everything inside her.

Sneaking a surprise, the shifter pulled something from behind. The glint from the light hitting the metal caught her eye. Pupil focusing in, Haley's heart nearly jumped up in her throat with the realization it was a knife stained with old blood.

Quicker than she could move, he shoved her head deep and forceful into the mattress, as her arms fought his advance to no avail. His other hand quickly sliced her supple skin. A clean strip across her collarbone, not too deep, just enough to bleed.

A piercing scream erupted from her lungs with the burning pain, knowing it was only the start to something more.

Quick and ravaging, the shifter's hands reached down. Yanking on Haley's shirt, ripping the top buttons from the seam. Getting in close to her face, Dean's fake lips brushed hers in a putrid kiss, then slipped back to her ear.

"I'm going to play with you, nice and slow. And then I'm going to wear you home, and kill your family." His whisper hissed in her ear.

Dirty hands that made her skin crawl pawed at her stomach, pushing her ripped shirt up to expose more skin.

"My family is going to kill you!" Haley struggled against the invasion as she screamed in a choked sob. Terrified tears stung her eyes as Haley's tortured iris found that knife now stained with her blood. Her heart broke to pieces knowing that knife almost hurt less then the feel on his rough hands probing her.

The shiny glint of it, finally gave her something back. Instantly, a memory shot through Haley's mind.

A week before when they began looking for this creature, Haley was the one who figured out what it was, and as her prize Dean had given her a silver knife. Modest in size, but it had been his at her age. Given to him by John, now passed on to her. Haley prized it, and had kept it in her boot ever since.

In that moment Haley could almost taste salvation on her breath, as she watched the shifters blade come back down on her collarbone again for another bite that would leave her bleeding.

Focusing her mind on deliverance, Haley let out a restrained cry as he cut into her skin, she managed to hook her leg high up on his side. With frantic, twitching fingers, Haley pinched the knife, and yanked it from her boot.

Bracing her already throbbing skull, in one swift movement as the blade dug into her skin, Haley head butted the creature hard, and shoved him off her with every ounce of fear suffocating inside her. The shape shifter fell back off Haley, and onto the dingy carpet with a loud thud.

Scrambling off on the mattress, in a second Haley down on the floor next to the creature dressed as her Dean. Not looking at its face, so the sight of him wouldn't make her hesitate. Haley gripped that knife in both hands, raised it high in the air, before slamming it down into his chest, straight through his heart. The creature gasped, jerked upward with the impact, and instantly died.

Panting, Haley rose to her feet in disbelief of her own actions. Full of shock, her hands still gripped on the knife, when the Calvary finally arrived.

Dean kicked down the door as if it were effortless, and charged in, gun drawn, like a white knight to her rescue.

Instantly, Dean spotted Haley, covered in blood, standing over the dead creature as if it were her winning kill.

_Sleep with one eye openGripping your pillow tightExit light, Enter night, Take my handWe're off to never-never land_

"Enter Sandman" Metallica

**Question:** Was it too much? Are you totally unnerved now? I just thought at some point with the lifestyle they live things are going to end up happening to them.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Stinging Wounds: Part 2**_

_I'll seek you out, Flay you aliveOne more word and you won't surviveAnd I'm not scared Of your stolen powerI see right through you any hour_

In a flash Dean's piercing emerald eyes shot to Haley standing over the dead shape shifter, and in a heart beat he was by her side. Pulling her fragile form into his arms, and tight against his chest, Dean held her for dear life.

"Are you ok? I should have never left you, Haley." His breath urgent, Dean held tightly onto Haley as she trembled, and finally broke down in tears in his secure arms.

Still in shock her first response was to push him away, but then his distinct scent engulfed her nostrils, and for the first time since that thing took her Haley felt safe. She burrowed against her Dean, finally able to breathe as the grateful tears slipped free. Dean had found her, and inside Haley almost laughed at herself for ever doubting he would.

Picking her up in his arms, Dean carried Haley over to the bed. Gently he placed her on the mattress to asses the damage.

Pulling back from the embrace, Dean softly cupped her face in his palms for a good look as a pained whimper escaped her lips with his touch. Instantly Dean was horrified by what he saw as his emerald eyes caught her wounds with a shuttered breath.

Her lip was bloody, split open, and swollen. The skin around her jaw was already bruising. His eyes noted she had several bleeding knife wounds sliced along her collarbone. Then he found a red swelling lump on her forehead, and all of it shattered Dean's heart in his chest.

"He hurt you?" The obvious question slipped from Dean's raspy voice. Desperate anguish tilted his tone, as his emerald eyes drowned in guilt.

Staring into Dean's eyes, the horrific moment replayed in Haley's mind, like a movie on the reel. Trembling over took her body with the actions she had been forced to take. Shocked, she had actually killed something.

Looking herself over in numb disbelief, Haley's eyes fell to her shirt. Remembering the way that thing touched, and tore at her cloths somehow left a permanent dirty feeling on her skin.

Dean's gaze followed Haley's as up close he realized her shirt wasn't just covered in blood. He spotted the torn buttons, as if it had been broken open. Coupled with the dirt smeared hand prints on the fabric, and her exposed belly, Dean's heart stopped beating all together. The implication of how badly that thing may have hurt Haley made his gut churn and flip.

Still holding her face, Dean gently forced her chestnut eyes back to his penetrating green as they broke.

"Did he…?" Dean couldn't even say the words, as his voice choked up. The thought so horrific Dean could have vomited where he kneeled, the bile surging in his throat.

Seeing the overwhelming trepidation in Dean's eyes, Haley wanted to explain, but the strength wasn't fully within her. She felt a million different things, all too overwhelming and torturous to describe.

Shaking her head slowly, Haley explained the best she could, the memories of it filling her, shaking her to her core.

"I think he wanted to. I wasn't going to let him hurt me, Dean." Was all she could muster off shaky lips. A distance to her gaze as her skin began to noticeably feel filthy, her soul detectably violated.

Quickly Dean unbuttoned his over flannel shirt. Pulling it off his shoulders, he wrapped it carefully around Haley's. "Here baby girl, put this on." Dean instructed gently, as he buttoned it up for her. He wanted to fix this; make the pain he saw Haley's in eyes go away, but all could come up with was a shirt to cover it.

A tortured shuttered breath slipped from Dean's lips, as he pulled a numb Haley back into his arms.

Feeling her shake in his grip, Dean knew he had to get her out of there, away from this hell. Wrapping secure arms around her, Dean lifted to his feet, cradling Haley against him.

Dean was just about to leave, when he couldn't resist one more glance at the shifter. The evil creature that dared to hurt his girl while wearing his face.

An urge to strong to ignore rumbled up his gut, and Dean walked over, giving the dead corpse several swift kicks to the head with his heavy boots. Saying even in death, nobody touched Haley, and got away with it.

The ride back to the motel was taken slow and full of silence. Haley gazed numbly out the windshield. Her skin itched and crawled, but she avoided the urge to scratch. Something deep inside felt indescribably tainted, as if the shifter had permanently branded her.

Unrest hands wrung in her lap, as Haley tried to hold herself together until she could be alone. She wouldn't cry, not in front of Dean. The guilt drowning in his emerald eyes was already killing her to look at. She didn't blame him, so she wouldn't add to his grief with her tears.

Dean had respected Haley's silence. He still only knew a few details about what happened. Mostly just the main events and what reasoning deducted.

Half way there, Dean cleared his throat of the emotional lump choking him, and finally spoke up. "When did you know it wasn't me?" He dared to ask, his piercing emerald eyes darting on her briefly.

Haley stayed still for a moment, her gaze lost out the windshield as if she didn't hear him. The silence lingered, and Dean thought she wasn't going to answer, when she finally turned to him.

Her big chestnut eyes fractured in a way he hadn't seen before.

"When he told me I was pretty." Haley admitted on a quiet breath, lack of expression on her face, as if detached from the words coming out of her mouth.

Dean's face cringed slightly. "I don't tell you you're pretty?" That stung his heart, more than he thought it would.

Her eyes lingered on him, as her bloody, wounded lower lip began to tremble with the memory.

"You don't touch me when you say it. Not like that." Thick emotion clogged her breath, as her eyes dropped to her fidgeting hands. So he wouldn't see the tears she was wrestling to hold back.

A shuttered strangled breath slipped from Dean's lips with the implication of her words, and the way it was clear to see it tortured her. His heart tightened with the urge to comfort her. Knowing she was only being strong because he was there. Stretching his arm across the seat, Dean reached out.

"Come here." He spoke quietly with a heart wrenched gaze, as his hand lightly touched her shoulder.

_I won't soothe your painI won't ease your strainYou've been waiting in vainI've got nothing for you to gain_

Catching Dean out of the corner of her eye, his touch caught her off guard. On alarmed instinct Haley bolted, shooting tight up against the door. Memories of her time alone in the car with the shaper shifter wearing Dean as a mask resurfacing in the moment.

Instantly Haley cringed with the way her uncontrollable emotions betrayed her true burned underneath. Knowing her actions were another slap in the face to Dean. Wasn't his fault the shape shifter used him against her.

Haley's skin crawled with the thought of someone touching her right now, sadly most of all Dean, but seeing the deep splinter in his eye to her fright toward him, Haley gave in. Needing Dean to know, she didn't hold him responsible. It wasn't him she was afraid of.

Slowly scooting against his side, Haley silently rested lightly against Dean, as his arm wound around her.

One hand on the wheel, his other arm secure around Haley, a quick tear slipped from his eye for her. Wiping it away quickly, Dean could see what she didn't say; could feel how she was suddenly rigid to his touch. It broke his heart, Dean held himself responsible, even if she didn't.

When they finally got back to the motel, two hours later, no one was there.

Half an hour after Dean and Haley had left; Sam was overwhelmed by something. Something he had never felt before, but it overwrought his senses, and consumed his mind, demanding attention. A piercing agony had shot through Sam's heart, and refused to leave, as rapid, blurred visions of Haley raced through his mind. Heart pounding with crippling pain, _Sam knew_. He knew in his heart something horrible was happening to her. There was no doubt in his mind.

Unable to sit idly by while something tortured Haley, Sam had gone to his dad and finally opened up. Sam told John what he knew in his heart was true, that sometimes he could sense Haley, and adamantly insisted they go look for them. John hesitated, alarmed by his son's revelation, but the conviction, and worry in Sam's eyes finally won him over. Concealed weapon's on hand, minus their wheels, they set out on foot.

A few minutes after Dean and Haley arrived back at the motel, John and Sam returned as well. That's when all hell broke loose.

Seeing his nightmares had come true with the sight of Haley's battered face, Sam charged to her side. Sam tried to pull her near for comfort, but for the first time ever, Haley jumped back recoiling from his touch.

Sam stopped where he stood, his jaw falling slack as tears welled up in his puppy dog eyes. Understanding instantly, she was more injured then he even realized.

John knew something had gone terribly wrong when Sam came to him for help, but when the sight of Haley overtook his vision; John almost had a stroke on the spot. The only girl, and the baby of the family no less, that was twice the offense.

John held Dean responsible as predicted. Yelling obscenities and ranting, as he stomped about the room, yanking the story from them.

Leaving her secrets alone, Dean explained to dad what had happened. Spotting the shifter, being kidnapped, both of them. The motel, her injuries, but he stayed silent on her wounds hidden under his flannel shirt.

When Dean got to the part about finding Haley at the motel, John completely lost it.

Watching everything unravel before her eyes, Haley jumped into position like armor, as dad took a stomping step toward Dean. Shielding herself in front of him, Dean took John's verbal assault as if it was deserved.

"Stop it, Dad! It's not his fault! He saved me!" Haley yelled at John, as tears welled up in her chestnut eyes. Haley tried to explain, Dean had come to her rescue, but true to John's form, he only heard what he wanted to hear.

John's tone lowered, his approach softened, as he gazed upon a bruised Haley. He reached out to softly touch the girl he saw as his daughter in a comforting gesture, but watching her pull, John let her have her distance.

"What happened at the motel, Haley?" He questioned with narrowing eyes but a gentle approach.

Haley's heart shot to life with the memory, staring at John's wrinkled worn face, her throat went dry.

"He just knocked me around me a little bit. Then Dean found me and killed it." She lied, unable to say the truth. Afraid John would see her different if he knew what she had done, what it had done to her. Then blame Dean worse, she couldn't let John know.

Dean's heart strangled with her lie, knowing she wouldn't reveal what he had seen with his own eyes. Knowing she was protecting him.

Reaching out, Dean gently placed a reassuring hand on Haley's shoulder, but like with Sam, she only pulled away, sickened by touch.

Running an agitated hand down his prickly face, John let out a heavy breath.

"Did it say anything to you? Why it took you?" He questioned with a pointed gaze. His scared, worried heart pulling at the seems with the sight of his little girl home from the battle.

Looking her father in the eyes, Haley knew she'd have to lie again. She hadn't even told Dean what the shape shifter said to her and she wouldn't. It would only hurt her family to know it had taken her as revenge. Haley had to protect her family.

"No, it didn't say anything." She concealed.

Dean would never live this one down, not in John's eyes. Dean blamed himself too, agreeing with his father. He wore that scarlet letter on his chest even when John wasn't around. From that day forward Dean was extra vigilant when it came to Haley, always one eye on her.

Sam didn't blame Dean, but he had never been so scared in his life then the sight of Haley wounded. It was like a sock to his gut.

After John's interrogation and lecture for Dean, Haley had scurried off to the bathroom with a desperate urge to shower and scrub her skin raw. It was like she could still feel him on her, as if she was painted red.

Sam had followed her into the bathroom, as Dad took off for the bar to drink this one away, before they fled town in a heap of thunder in the morning.

Sam found Haley staring in the mirror, lost on her image as the first thick, broken tears rolled down her cheeks.

Dean's flannel shirt was unbuttoned and open, Sam could finally see what Haley had been hiding. What she was staring at, mesmerized and broken. Her own shirt revealed underneath was torn and littered with dirty hand prints, smeared with dried blood. Sam's heart constricted in his chest with the implication.

Haley heard Sam's shuttered breath in the doorway, and spun around on her heels to face him, finally realizing he was there.

Seeing the way Sam's pained eyes looked at her as if she were some how damaged, feeling the same way inside, Haley freaked out. Already coming undone when he found her, Haley unleashed her grief on Sam, who dared to see her for what she was… _tainted_.

"Just leave me alone!" Haley screamed at him, before shoving him out the door, and slamming it in his face. Suddenly having Sam as her shadow was an inconvenient truth in Haley's attempts to convince herself she was fine.

That night Sam didn't care how it looked. He watched over Haley like a hawk on prey, staying awake all night. No one even noticed; Dad still out at the bar, Dean had followed suit a few hours later. Once he figured dad had pounded a few and relaxed.

Haley still couldn't let Sam near her, and he knew it was because he could see through her in a way others couldn't. She couldn't hide from him like the rest of their family. He knew when she was pretending, and being as hurt as she was, that terrified her.

Late into the night Sam heard her break, like a dam bursting from its foundations. Haley's quiet sobs filled the room, clouding it with choking grief.

Unable to listen to her agony and not go her, Sam went to her bed, and took a seat.

Haley didn't face him, or acknowledge his presence, so Sam took the lead. Touching her shoulder softly, his heart broke as he felt Haley flitch.

"Hales, please let me in. You're scaring me." Sam softly begged, his voice full of heartache, trying to reach her. Haley had never withdrawn from him like this, it filled him with a sick, uneasy feeling he couldn't shake.

Haley hesitated but then gave in, and slowly sat up in bed. Knowing if she could find peace anywhere it would be with him. Haley faced Sam with tear stained cheeks, black and blue from her assault.

"I'm not ruined." Her words broke into more tears, as Haley tried to convince Sam, but most of all herself.

Sam quickly agreed with reassurance, as he reached out, and softly touched her unblemished cheek. "I would never think that. I know you're not. Its ok, Hales. We'll fix it." Sam promised, as tears filled his dewy sensitive eyes with the sight of hers. Knowing behind those tears lay oceans of tortured pain.

Hearing the words she needed fill her soul with hope, Haley flung against her soul mate; finally able to admit she needed him, now more than she had ever before.

Sam wrapped strong arms around _his precious_, holding her near as if somehow his embrace could banish all her suffering away.

Sam didn't care how it looked, or what anyone thought; he climbed into bed with Haley that night. Holding his fragile girl close, so she could finally sleep with less fear.

John and Dean didn't say anything about it, even after they stumbled back from the bar, and came in to check on her, but Sam wouldn't have cared if they did. There was no way he would leave Haley's side, his other half. Not when fear had her shaking in the sheets to every noise, and had her jumping at shadows all night.

_Eyes on fire, Your spine is ablazeFelling any foe with my gazeAnd just in time. In the right placeSteadily emerging with grace_

"_Eyes On Fire" Blue Fountain_

_Song note: _If you haven't heard this song. I highly recommend it. This song brought this chapter to life for me.

**Note: **So what did you think? Was Haley emotion honest enough? Could feel what she was going through? Did you think Dean's emotion was true to character? What did you think of the Saley moments?


	16. Chapter 16

_**Everything Is Drawn To You**_

_You want your independence _

_But you wont let me let you go, You wanna test the waters _

_And leave it on the empty shores _

They danced around the room in a carefree fashion. Haley more then Sam, but he let his body move to the rhythm ever so slightly when she'd get close enough to dance beside him.

It was late summer and the pair enacted their favorite end of the summer past time, dancing around the room in their underwear to an array of tunes that blared from the radio. They had done this since children, but it had only been this past year it seemed a little different to be half clothed together. Sam suddenly noticed Haley had curves in places she hadn't before, while Haley noticed the way Sam's broad chest filled out his tee shirt better.

Haley moved vibrantly around the room, her golden hair flying as her body swayed, laughter frequently erupting from her smiling lips.

Sam watched mesmerized, following her every step, like a lost puppy… _lost for her_.

There was no rhyme or reason to the pull he felt toward her. He just felt it in the pit of his gut every time she captured his eyes. This raw tugging deep in his belly, that always wanted to be near her.

It had almost been two months since her attack and Sam soaked up the moments when Haley was bursting with life. For awhile there she was so skittish and jumpy, Sam wasn't sure he'd see animated Haley again, but slowly she returned. The fighter within her unwilling to let that freak of nature steal her soul and Sam stood by giving whatever she needed. Slowly but surely the light returned within her stunning chestnut eyes.

As the melody died from the radio speakers, Haley's feet finally stopped. Breath panting, sweat lightly glistening her forehead as she turned to Sam with a beaming smile.

A smile shot wide cross Sam's face to match hers as he took a step toward her, drawn in by her essence.

His feet stilled in the carpet beside Haley, as his whiskey eyes rained down on her from his towering height above.

Sam's gaze was glued to her radiant face and the way the look in her eyes could make him forget how to breath. Until his orbs caught her hand, lightly scratching the scars that lie along her collarbone from where the shape shifter had cut her. The wounds had healed just fine, and were almost gone, but Haley still had a tendency to unconsciously scratch at them. Those scars always had a way of tugging on his heart and filling it with an ache at the memory of a time Sam would never forget.

Softly, Sam's big hand reached out and grazed across the thin strip. He watched Haley's eyes shoot up to his with the touch, something indefinable reading in her gaze. Something that held trepidation but more.

Feeling the slight ridge of the long thing scars under his finger tips, Sam wished his touched could heal them away.

He smiled down on her, trying to ease what was plaguing her gaze before his head dipped down past hers, and came flush against her battle scars. Lightly, with a feathers touch, his lips brushed her warm skin.

Blessing her old wounds with kisses, hoping to take the pain away, like a child would beg for a kiss on their boo-boo.

Haley stood still in response to his love as Sam settled his hands lightly on her waist. Feeling his hot breath near her neck, his hands beginning to entrap her, the closeness set her edge. Haley tried to get into the moment. Her mind telling her to be normal and like it. Her hands reached out for him as she felt his breath grow heavier with her touch. Slipping her hands under the base of his tee shirt, she gripped his hips, and pulled him closer, but it didn't make the nagging go away. Haley went rigid against his touch, as the close moment sent a fury of haunted memories flashing through her mind like a strobe light on acid. While Haley felt more like herself every day close proximities still had the capability of throwing her off the edge into the darkness she fought to keep at bay.

_But I'll take my time if you want to And I'll give you what ever you need _

_And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you _

_Give in to you _

Breath heaving, the assault of memories plaguing her mind couldn't be hushed, and sent Haley shoving Sam away from her hard and fast. "Stop it Sam!" She yelled at him with the fear consuming her, his closeness too close.

Hearing the pain in her cry, seeing the terror in Haley's eyes when Sam caught her gaze, stabbed his heart.

"Did I hurt you?" He rapidly questioned with genuinely worried puppy dog eyes.

Haley's heart pounded as the anxious panic that still raced through her veins.

"I don't want to do this anymore." She blurted out in the moment. Trapped under the spell of everything battling inside her.

Sam's whiskey eyes grew confused, unsure what he did wrong because she liked it second ago, and confused by what she was talking about.

"Do what?" He questioned gently, trying not to rile her up more then she already was.

Shoulders tensing, Haley couldn't relax as her stomach continued to twist and the crawling feeling returned to her skin. "_This_!" She exclaimed, her hands gesturing wildly between them. "I don't want to do whatever _this_ is anymore. Dad knows Sam, and he doesn't like it at all. He made Dean talk to me about it, and Dean thinks we should wait. I want to wait! I don't want to do this! I want my friend back!" Haley ranted, bordering on hysterics as tears filled her eyes, and nerves raced through her body uncontrollably.

Watching Haley come undone before his eyes, Sam was taken aback. While he believed everything she was saying was true, he also couldn't help but think she had other reasons inside her for freaking out. Reasons he unintentionally set off.

"Ok, we'll stop." Sam answered simply with a nod. Hoping she would calm down if he accepted her desires without pushing further.

A deep breath surged through Haley's lungs as Sam gave in without a fight. The warm muggy air in her lungs coupled with his understanding began to settle the panic inside her.

Taking several slow deep breaths as she calmed herself, Haley began to feel foolish for her outburst, but looking into Sam's concerned eyes she knew he was trying to be supportive.

"You agree?" Haley questioned him, the surprise edging on her breath.

Locking with her eyes as his held genuine concern, Sam answered with a silent nod.

"But why? Why do you agree?" Haley hesitantly asked wanting to understand. Wanting to know it was something he wanted too, and wasn't just him trying to please her the way he did too often.

A soft smile eclipsed Sam's face just for her before his hand reached out to hers. Haley jumped back with the advance and Sam instantly stopped, seeing that was a mistake. Raising his hands in surrender to say without words he would back off, Sam licked his lips, and elaborated without entering her space. "Because I think we're going too fast. I think you're too young." He explained gently, but watching something pointed fill her eyes with his choice of words, Sam corrected. "I don't want to push you. I want to wait until you're ready… I don't want to do anything you don't want, Haley." With sensitive whiskey eyes, Sam spoke from the heart. A heart that seemed infatuated with her in ways he still didn't fully understand, but he knew his urges were different then hers. Sam didn't want those differences rushing her into places she wasn't ready to go.

His words full of concern for her wishes put Haley at ease and reminded her why Sam was her other half, but it was his eyes, full of love that stole her heart. A gentle smile like a diamond in the ruff revealed on Haley's face for him. "Best friends?" She questioned him quietly as their eyes intertwined.

Soft, sunbeam smile shot off on Sam's face as he nodded. "The best" He hesitated for a moment, unsure he should push his luck, but decided to go with his hearts instinct.

"Can I hold you?" Sam asked, the uncertainty in his eyes revealing he thought she'd shoot him down.

Seeing the vulnerability in Sam's eyes that she loved so dearly. It was the part of him that showed his giant heart the most, Haley nodded, because he was the person her trusted most in the world, and in his arms she felt most at home.

The smile widened on Sam's face with her answer as he slowly stepped to her. Gentle in his approach, he wrapped his arms around his favorite girl, holding her tight.

The sweet smell of wild flowers filled his noise from her hair so close. Placing a tender kiss upon the crown on her head, Sam reached out to Haley in her most closed off place.

"I just want you to know, if I do something that brings up …" His breath stalled for a moment as Sam decided not to invoke the actual words, and run the risk of upsetting her.

"… You know, what happened. You can tell me. I don't want to hurt you." With the utmost honesty his voice rang against the locks of her hair as his arms held her lovingly close.

Sam could feel her fingers dig deeper into his back as she snuggled her face into his chest before her voice meekly came to life. "Thanks Sammy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Pulling back from the embrace, Haley gazed up at Sam. A genuine radiant smile encompassing her soft features. "Let jump on the bed." She suggested with a mischievous grin as she took his hand in her own.

A big goofy smile shot wide on his face, bewitched by her playful nature.

"We'll break it." Sam laughed.

Dragging him over to the bed, Haley laughed to his comment, and delivered her own witty comeback that left him in stitches. "Then they'll really think we were up to no good."

_You think that you're the sun _

_The whole world revolves around you_

_The center of attention And everything is drawn to you_

_I will wait a lifetime And I would wait for you_

Later that night, deep into the twilight hours the darkness found her again. Where it always did… in her dreams. When Haley was at her most vulnerable.

Haley shot awake from her nightmare. Images swirling in her mind of Dean but not Dean, holding her down, hurting her, touching her places he didn't belong. Images so strangling it made it so Haley could hardly breath. Sweat drenched her fragile trembling body, as she stared up at the motel ceiling still imprisoned by the grip of terror.

That's when reality and nightmares mixed, Haley felt large callused hands on her as his voice filled the night.

"Haley," Dean's voice came out husky and thick from sleep. He had always shared a bed with her, John wouldn't have it any other way. He kept a watchful eye, now more then ever, but lately that had become an issue.

The lines were blurred, her alarmed sense couldn't tell the difference, Haley reacted on panic alone. Clawing his hands off her, Haley scrambled from him on the mattress so quick she went tumbling off the side on the bed. Landing on the floor in a heap, her butt hitting the carpet with a thud.

Quick to her rescue, Dean leaned over the side of the bed, and reached for Haley to make sure she was ok, and help her up, but it back fired in his face.

"No!" Haley screamed at him as she scurried away on the carpet. Instantly Dean stopped moving on the bed. Their eyes caught in the dark, the look of pained guilt as he realized it was him she was running scared from was heart breaking.

Haphazardly sprawled across the mattress on the opposite bed, the commotion sent Sam shooting up in bed in a second with startled groggy eyes.

Choking with fear and overwhelming embarrassment, Haley slowly climbed to her feet. Her eyes still intertwined with Dean's piercing injured pair, Haley found her voice as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She apologized as a few warm droplets escape down her cheeks. Her gaze shot to Sam next, then back to Dean as she wrapped comforting arms around herself, and backed to the door. "I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, Dean. It's me… It's just me." Delivering the only explanation she could muster for the midnight disturbance.

_But I'll take my time if you want to And I'll give you what ever you need_

_And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you _

_Give in to you _

Looking at their faces, Haley knew either of them would be there for her. Hold her soothingly, and tell her everything would be alright, but tonight that wouldn't work. Like the scared little girl she was, Haley needed her Daddy.

Quietly escaping the motel room, in two seconds she stood in front of the door right next to hers. Softly bringing her shaking fist to the wood, Haley knocked twice.

She could hear shuffling on the other side before the door cracked open, and John's tired scruffy face came into view.

"Haley?" His thick gritty voice questioned, as his soft eyes held growing concern.

Staring at her dad with big terrified eyes of a child, Haley begged for comfort. "I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you?"

A soft warm smile like Sam's filled his worn face, before John silently nodded, and opened the door all the way to let her in.

Stepping past him and inside, Haley's eyes roamed the cluttered, filthy room with pictures of different creatures and information on them lining the walls.

John's arm wrapped around her, and for second Haley tensed before relaxing with the safety of knowing it was him.

Leading her over the unmade bed, John pulled back the blankets, and waited on her next move.

Grateful eyes glanced up at her dad with a smile as his face returned to sentiment. Cautiously she climbed onto to the bed, and nestled in against the pillows that smelled distinctly like him.

With a parents care and love, John pulled the blankets up around her, tucking her in. Offering her another gentle smile, he stepped away to let her sleep, but her hand caught his dirty flannel shirt with a tug.

Turning back, John gazed at her in question for the second time that night before she spoke.

"Would you stay with me?" Meekly her voice came out as nerves hung in her big doe eyes.

Staring at her for a moment, John softened. Not use to the extra care girls needed, it hadn't occurred to him she'd need more reassurance then the boys. She hadn't come to him for assurance like this since she was a little girl, and first came to live with them.

Nodding slightly, John smiled upon her with understanding. "Just let me grab my papers."

Gathering the stack of research off the motel table, John returned to the bed. Taking a seat on top of the covers with a heavy tired breath, his back came to rest against the headboard. His gaze fell upon her with a compassionate grin, as if to ask if this was good.

Looking up at the worn down man who had become her father in every way that counted, Haley smiled back as a yawn escaped her lips.

Turning from him, she snuggled against the pillows, clutching the sheets close as her eyelids grew heavy. Finally she felt safe enough to rest.

Pulling his papers before his eyes, John's gaze darted back to Haley one last time as she fell back to sleep. His heart swelling with her image as he smiled peacefully to himself. She was a gift to all of them, and he couldn't love her anymore if she was his own blood.

_Jackson Waters "Center Of Attention"_


	17. Chapter 17

_**The Season's of My Life**_

_Oh, mirror in the sky, What is loveCan the child within my heart rise aboveCan I sail through the changing ocean tidesCan I handle the seasons of my lifeMmmm… I don't know_

Dean took what happened to Haley to heart. He let the guilt wound him as much as it wounded her. Screaming in his mind, he should have been there, he should have protected her. It ate anyway at him as Dean punished himself slowly by drowning in bottle after endless bottle. He had always been a drinker, picked up the habit young thanks to his fake ID. Seemed to be a family trait but this was different. The quantity was larger. The frequency daily and it didn't go unnoticed, not by Haley anyway. It was hard for her. She wanted to help him, but she had been skittish and evasive with Dean after the attack. Haley didn't want to be. She didn't blame him, but unfortunately his face had a way of sending panic racing in her heart.

Watching Dean self destruct because of her, almost hurt more then the memories of the evening that shifter tried to take her life. Haley watched from the sidelines. Talking with Sam, who wasn't sure what to do, and Dad who didn't notice past his own driven obsessions as usual.

It wasn't until Haley began to heal that she got the nerve to confront him, and face his inner demons. Unable to watch someone who meant so much to her burn out.

It was just a regular fall day. School had recently started, everything went back to normal, as normal as things could be for a Winchester. When Haley and Sam were getting ready for school crisp one morning, and she noticed Dean was already on his fourth beer, Haley had had enough. Reaching the limit of her quiet tolerance, heated emotion lit like a match inside her.

When Sam hit the shower to get ready for school, Haley took matters into her own hands.

Storming to his bed in a fury, she ripped the bottle from his hands just as Dean brought it to his lips for another taste.

"That's enough." Haley demanded firmly. Her gaze pointed and stern as she placed the bottle on the nightstand with a loud clank, and took a heavy seat on the edge of his bed.

Already in the throws of a good buzz, Dean chuckled at her attempts to reign him in.

"It's five o'clock somewhere, baby girl." His snaky comeback was delivered with a devilish, shit eating grin.

Her shoulders squared as Haley shook her head in protest. "Well it's not here. It's eight in the morning, Dean." Agitation filled her words, but sadness touched her big chocolate eyes as they gazed upon him with worry.

"Haley don't," With a swivel to his prickled chin, Dean loosely brushed off her concerned efforts as he leaned over, and reached for the bottle on the nightstand. Seeing the pain he caused her only made him thirsty for another drink.

Anger raced up inside her with his lack of care as she shoved him back hard against the headboard.

"I am trying! Why aren't you?" Haley yelled at Dean as tears stung her chocolate eyes in his name.

Seeing the twisted portrait of determined pain in her innocent orbs as she gazed upon him, Dean shut up. Resting his back on the headboard he let her talk. Letting her be brutally honest with him in a way he resisted with others.

"I'm trying to not let what happened to me ruin who I am, but I can't do that while you self destruct." Haley openly admitted tortures she tried to appear strong against, like a good Winchester does. Tears gleamed in her eyes, but she didn't dare let them fall.

Taking a deep breath, Haley calmed herself, not wanting to fall apart in front of him and appear weak or overly emotional.

"Can't we try together? You stop drinking so much and…" Her soft delicate hand brushed his rough one onto top of the blankets, and laced them together. "And I wont be afraid anymore." Pleading suspended in her gaze as she held his intense eyes, and hoped her words could reach him. Dean was her hero, her protector, and she missed him in ways words didn't describe.

_Well, I've been afraid of changing'Cause I've built my life around youBut time makes you bolder, Even children get olderAnd I'm getting older too_

He admired her courage, the way he always did. It had a way of bending him to her will. Dean found himself nodding slightly in agreement, but his doubtful, alcohol fueled insides questioned whether she would actually be able to get past the fear his image invoked. As if her damage somehow saw through him to his insecure core.

Going against his heart while letting _miller time _push the limits, he questioned her.

"You sure about that?" Dean asked in a warning with a piercing gaze, and wickedly arched eyebrow.

He watched Haley nod with assurance, and Dean put her pledge on the line in response. Testing her, he gripped her arms, and pulled Haley further onto the bed with him. In a second, Dean had her on her back beneath him. He hovered above her, his hot beer pungent breath splashed her face. His strong arms locked on either side of her holding him up, as his intense emerald eyes smoked down on her.

Seeing the face from her nightmares, feeling his weight in some of the right places, Haley's heart shot to life on instinct alone. Panic rushed through her veins like a drug as she fought back the urge to scream, and push him away.

Instantly Dean saw the horror cloud her beautiful chocolate eyes. He felt Haley's little body go rigid, and tense underneath him, Dean's gut churned in response.

Rapidly he lifted off her as Dean cursed himself yet again for being such a jerk with little effort. "Haley, I'm sorry. I would never hurt you. I'm just an asshole." The apology slipped off his shapely pout right away.

Lying on the lumpy mattress where he left her, Haley stared up at the popcorn ceiling as her breath came out rapidly uneven, her heart pounded uncontrollably, and her limbs trembled. In that moment Haley knew she had a choice, a pivotal one. She could keep letting these moments control her and take Dean away, or she could control them. Choosing to stand by her word, no matter how hard it was, Haley fought back.

Shooting up on the bed, Haley tackled Dean. Causing him to fall back against the pillows and headboard with the force of her weight. Clinging to him, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck with every ounce of anxious trauma surging inside her.

Burying her face inside the crook of his musky smelling neck, Haley refused to let go. No matter how badly her flight instinct screamed for her to run.

Hesitating for a moment as he felt her shaking against him, Dean's arms slowly wound around her. His grip gently tightening it's hold on her, hoping his embrace would comfort her and not make it hurt worse.

'_It's Dean_, _It's Dean…' _Haley rapidly repeated over and over again in her mind to the beat of her racing heart until the pounding began to slow down, and her breath evened out.

Holding him tightly, finding comfort in an embrace her heart had missed, Haley reassured him and herself. "I'm not afraid." She whispered against his neck in triumph.

Finding courage to confront a face that from such close proximity could set off her panic again, Haley slowly pulled back until she caught his penetrating emerald eyes.

"I'm not afraid." She repeated, as their eyes held, and arms tangled in a way they hadn't for some time, but both missed dearly.

A proud smirk eclipsed Dean's handsome face. She amazed him. If his fifteen year old, baby girl could face her fears, and overcome them then Dean knew he had to keep his end of the deal.

"The bottle's all yours, baby girl." Dean answered back, as his eyes lit up her. Hoping she could see all the pride he held for her in his heart.

A smile burst wide on Haley's face as an indescribable joy raced through her veins. This was a breakthrough, for both of them if she ever saw one.

Burying her face back in the crook of his neck, Haley rested on a home she had missed.

Her body was tiny in contrast to his as she sat straddled on his lap, her arms clung around him. Her face lie buried in the safety of his distinctly Dean smelling neck.

Dean rested with his back against the propped up pillows as Haley clung to him like a spider monkey. In a way she hadn't done since she was little. For a moment there was solace in the healing that nothing and no one could take away. It amazed Dean the way this young girl had the ability to put him back together.

Sam emerged from the bathroom, his sneakers stilled in the carpet as his whiskey eyes took in the sight of Dean and Haley tangled up in a way he hadn't seen them come close since her attack.

They could hear the shuffle of Sam's feet, and knew the celebration was over. Pulling back, Haley smiled softly at Dean as she captured his piercing emerald eyes.

"I'm proud of you." She beamed with the brightest of grins. Leaning in, she placed a quick peck on his cheek, and climbed off his lap.

Sitting up from the pillows, Dean grabbed the beer from the nightstand.

"Wanna dump this down the drain for me?" He asked her. Catching the look in Sam's eyes, Dean wanted a moment with his brother.

Nodding, Haley took the despised bottle in her hand, and scurried off for the bathroom to dispose of it, flashing Sam a smile as she passed him

Finally alone, Dean noted the awkward air emanating off Sam as his weight shifted on his feet, and his eyes still flickered green with envy.

Rising from the bed on loose buzzed legs, Dean took a step toward his little brother.

"What can I say, Sam, she gets to me. That's not going to change, but she's just a kid. Practically my little sister. But even if she wasn't I know how you feel about her. You're my brother, Sammy, nothing comes between that. You understand what I'm saying?" Dean's gruff voice explained in a round about way that got as far away from a sappy moment as he could.

Seeing the look in his big brothers eyes, Sam understood what Dean was trying to express. That their brotherhood mattered to him, and he'd never betray that. Sam had gotten use to the connection Dean and Haley held. Just certain moments, especially since Haley had put the brakes on them, got to him in ways Sam couldn't entirely control.

Relaxing, Sam nodded with a subtle smile. "I get it." He answer back with conformation.

His trademark smirk covered Dean's face. "Good," He remarked, as his hand reached over, and teasingly ruffled Sam's shaggy hair.

Standing in the bathroom doorway, leaning against the wooden frame, Haley listened intently without a word. Not sure what to think. Feeling conflicted, the last thing she ever wanted to be was a wedge between them, and yet some how, she felt like she could be without even trying.

_So, take my love, take it downClimb a mountain and turn aroundAnd if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hillsWell, the landslide will bring you down_

_Fleetwood Mac, "Landslide"_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Never Get It Back**_

_It's cold again and I do not know what to do I need a friend, but all I really want is you Where have you been? I haven't seen you for so long I guess you're gone , You're really gone So long ago you told me you'd never leave What do you know. Things have changed so suddenly Here I am. I am moving on without you Without you _

Haley received word that her father would be making his yearly visit exactly forty-eight hours before he was set to arrive.

She felt conflicted about seeing him. He rarely called these days, visited only once a year, and merely sent postcards on the holidays. He seemed more like a distant relative, a fading memory, then her once beloved father.

She could hardly stand his delusions anymore. Every year she saw him, he became more unhinged in his obsession with finding her mother or what was left of her. Lately Haley wasn't even sure what was real, or what he made up in his own mind to heal the lonely ache of abandonment. Abandonment, now that's a word Haley understood all too well. A word that no matter how long she spent with the Winchesters never seemed to fully wipe clean. Always lying under the surface, as if at any moment she could just be discarded without a thought.

Jimmy arrived three hours late, his usual tardy nature, that spoke volumes to Haley of her importance to him. John tried to wait for the arrival of his long time friend, but as the hours passed he was forced to hit the road, the job never waits.

Haley had already moved onto other amusements for the day. When he knocked on the door, Haley was fully engrossed in a movie with the boys. Snuggled tight on the bed caught between a Sam and Dean sandwich. Her heart sank a little as her dad passed through the motel door. He looked shaggier then the last time she saw him, more worn down, and older around the eyes.

The hug was awkward, her father embraced her lovingly tight, while Haley clung loose, and pulled back quick. She didn't know what he expected from her. After abandoning her with strangers that thankfully became family. She couldn't imagine him wanting to pretend like they were still close, but as his soft aging eyes looked upon her that's what she saw waiting his orbs.

He suggested taking her away for a weekend up at the cabin, go fishing like they use to, but Haley wouldn't have it. She refused to leave Sam and Dean, and they backed her up, like good soldiers. Not wanting to push his daughter who was already clearly loose in his grip, Jimmy conceded he would just stay in town, get a room at the motel.

With slight reluctantly, Jimmy got Haley to go to dinner with him alone. It was just your usual small town diner. With cute unique names for the usual foods, a hometown feel in the atmosphere, and a waitress who treated you like she had known you for years.

The uneasy air settled around them as their interaction felt forced. Jimmy wanted to connect with his daughter, but with the distance in her eyes, he wasn't sure quite how.

_You're missing it. All the things that I have done You're missing it. Everything I have become So wave goodbye. You can never get it back No you can't. You really can't _

"Sam's getting tall. You two still close?" Jimmy questioned lightly as he readjusted his silverware for the fourth time, trying to make small talk, and keep busy.

Her fidgeting stopped as Haley finally glanced over at her dad.

"He's my best friend. Sam takes care of me." She answered simply, as if her answer was obvious, and the fact that he didn't already know that said he knew nothing at all.

Watching her attention dart from him quickly, Haley began to pick at her napkin as if it were more amusing then spending time with her dad. Clearing his throat, Jimmy tried again. "How about Dean, got a little crush I bet." Jimmy teased with a light chuckle trying to be playful in a way they had done so easily long ago. A way that only in it's absence revealed it's true worth.

Haley's eyes shot to her dad, and the look in them killed the laughter in his throat as if she had struck him.

"He protects me." She corrected his confused notions. It saddened Haley how hard this was, but she couldn't pretend the time hadn't passed, and everything he said only proved how little he knew her anymore.

A heavy breath left Jimmy's chest from the way he just couldn't seem to get this right no matter how hard he tried. Running out of options he was relieved when the waitress returned with their drinks.

Jimmy perked up instantly with the waitresses arrival. "I ordered you a milk shake while you were in the bathroom. Chocolate with a little bit of strawberry still your favorite?" The smile twitched on his face, hoping she wouldn't shoot him down again.

With cautious hands, Haley pulled the icy glass in front of her. Glancing over at her dad the first smile edged on the corners of her mouth, pleased he remembered. "Yeah, it's still my favorite." She confirmed with a slight nod before diving into her ice-cream treat.

Dinner eased the mood, and slowly Haley warmed up to her father. A father that she hated to admit, she missed so badly that when he was around, and for a little while after he left would leave a throbbing hole in her heart.

Their familiar carefree banter returned as Jimmy managed to earn a few smiles, and a little laughter from the daughter he missed so dearly. An absence filled his heart with the sight of her. She looked so much older this year, finally a young woman, and it was undeniable how much he had missed. It was a choking truth he could never take her back now. He wouldn't know what to do with a teenager girl, he had missed too much.

Haley enjoyed the dinner, for a time it felt like they were almost normal. A family again, like when she was little. Out to dinner, and after they'd return to a home where her mother would be waiting. A dream that at certain moments almost felt real.

Reality has a way of dashing dreams and stripping innocence, that's exactly what reality did after their dinner.

Returning to the no name motel, Jimmy asked her to go for a walk with him before she returned to the Winchester boys. Wanting to soak up what little time he had left with his daughter while needing to share something important with her.

Staring up at a man who's face felt heartwarmingly familiar with his fleeting presence, Haley agreed.

They wandered for awhile before finding an old rusted park bench behind the motel. Together they took a seat as the setting sun on the horizon captured their eye line, and the fall breeze rustled around them.

That's when Jimmy ruined the moment in a way he did better then anyone else.

Clearing his throat, his gruff voice spoke up. "Your moms been calling a lot more lately."

Instantly, Haley cringed with his words. She knew it was too good to be true, that he could actually go one day without bringing her up. "Dad," Haley warned, hoping he'd catch the irritated edge in her voice and drop it.

Ignoring his daughter's visible resistance, Jimmy continued with what he had to say. "She's been talking about you a lot lately… she misses you."

Shoulders tensing with his lies, Haley felt their happy place slipping away as sarcasm stole her tongue. "She doesn't miss me. She doesn't even know who I am."

Trying to connect to his daughter and ease her tension, Jimmy reached out, and tried to place a comforting hand on her back, but Haley only scooted away.

"She's worried about you, about you and Sam. She thinks your involvement could be… dangerous." Jimmy spoke softly knowing his words would further upset his already distant daughter.

Heated chocolate eyes shot to her father with a narrowing at her pupil. "You told her about Sam? The Winchester's are none of her business. You shouldn't be talking about them with her." Anger fueled on her hot breath as Haley stared at her father is if he was crazy, and these days she wasn't entirely sure he wasn't.

Shaking his head, Jimmy tried to explain. "I didn't tell her. She already knew. Now is something going on between you and Sam? He is a boy, and you're at that age." Tired eyes that held the look of life beaten down gazed upon his daughter as concern filled his rough voice in a fatherly way.

Looking her father dead in the eyes, Haley had had enough. "That's none of your business anymore." Haley shut him out, frustration thick on her breath, before shooting up from the bench. Ready to stalk off, and leave him alone where she felt he should be. Like he had done to her all those years ago.

Catching his daughter's wrist, without harm, Jimmy pulled her back down to the bench.

"Haley, you don't understand. You have to be careful. Your mother revealed something to me about you." His eyes pinned her with a deathly serious look. One that seeped out how hard this was for him to tell her.

Resisting in his grip, Haley yanked her arm back in her lap. She stayed in her seat because she knew in her heart he wasn't going to let her leave until his crazy ramblings were shared, but she avoided his eyes with all cost.

"No, you don't understand. She just calls you, but you don't even know what that thing is." Shaking her head, she rambled low on her breath. Haley refused to play along as she threw the truth his way.

Taking a deep breath Jimmy forced his voice to life. Telling his daughter something he had never told anyone. Something that weighed heavier then anything else on his heart and aged him more everyday.

"Haley something happened to you when you were a baby. Your mother told me… a demon came in your nursery, and did something to you. He changed you. That's why your different, sweetheart." On a quiet heavy breath Jimmy delivered the devastating news.

Her wide startled eyes shot to him in a second. "Stop it! That's not true!" Haley yelled at him as tears welled up in her eyes. Wounded her father would say such heinous things about her, and actually believe them.

Tears filled his eyes knowing her hurt her, and by finally facing how scared he was by this knowledge. "We didn't know. We would have protected you, but we didn't know." His voice pleaded with guilty agony as he reached to softly touched her arm.

Jumping away from him on bench, Haley tried to make this torture go away.

"Stop it! Stop saying that!" She screamed at him as tears slipped free from her eyes.

Shooting up from the bench, Haley turned to father as droplets continued to fall from her betrayed eyes. "You're crazy but I'm not! That thing is lying you, but you want her back so badly you just believe whatever it says! She never lets you near her and she's never coming back! And that thing, that thing is just playing with you! You're a fool!" Spit lie moistened on her lips from her vehement words, as Haley held back the sob fighting inside her, and finally spoke her unfiltered truth. What she really thought of her father and his nonsense, as tears provoked by his injuring words streamed down her cheeks.

Seeing how badly he had hurt his daughter with his revelation strangled Jimmy's heart. He knew she didn't understand what had happened to her mother, most people didn't. Hell, he didn't even fully understand, but he couldn't loose faith. Everything inside Jimmy's heart told him his wife's messages came from good and not evil. That she was still somewhere inside there. Like revelation, he had to take her word.

Rising from the bench, Jimmy took a step toward his broken, crying daughter to comfort her, but as expected Haley pulled away.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Haley refused to let him hurt her anymore.

"I'm a Winchester now! You don't know me, you don't know anything about me! So just do what you do best and stay away!" She yelled at him with the growing anger burning in her belly.

_There'll be a day when you wish you could go back When your mistakes will catch up with where you're at Before you know all your chances will be gone _

_They will be gone _

Turning from him before he could get another word, Haley raced to her motel room.

Pounding on the door with little closed fists, Dean opened it in a second.

Horror dilated his emerald eyes at the sight of her tear stained face.

"Haley, what happened?" His gritty voice questioned with concern, and growing protective anger.

Unwilling to tell anyone what her father said about her, like it made her some kind of freak. Haley gazed up at Dean as sniffles stole her breath before she dove against him.

"I don't want to see him anymore. This is where I belong." She cryptically spoke through a shuttered breath as she felt the safety of his strong arms wrap around her, like home.

Dean soothingly rubbed up and down her back as his other palm lie tangled in the hair on the back on her head. Her hands gripped handfuls of his shirt as she tried to burry herself in him a moment longer.

Pulling back from Dean's secure hold, Haley spotted Sammy inside the room, rising to his feet. A look of worry filling his gentle face to the sight of her as their eyes caught with their unspoken connection. As she could hear her father's feet coming up from behind, Haley raced inside the room.

Reaching Sam's waiting open arms in a second, she buried her herself in his embrace. An embrace he gave freely and wholly to the girl who claimed his heart, and eerily felt like she was part of him.

Jimmy reached the doorway, desperation downing his aging face.

"Haley," He called out with insistence as he watched her slip away. Trying not to loose what was left of his family that had seemed to disappear before his eyes.

Nestled deep against Sam's cotton covered chest, Haley never released her grip on him. Hearing his voice only stirred all the vile words he had said about her. Making them echo in her head and resonate. "Make him go away." Rattled off Haley's chest as she clung to Sam, her tears staining his shirt.

Sam's dewy sensitive eyes shot to Dean's as they shared an unspoken agreement to always watch over Haley. Deathly protective of his baby girl, Dean moved into action in front of Jimmy.

"You should probably go." The young man said with a firm tone, arms solidly folded across his chest. His gaze unrelenting. Dean wasn't asking, and the look in his eyes made that clear.

"Dean," Jimmy warned with an edge in his tone, surprised by the young mans bold behavior, but not intimidated. Ignoring John's boy who was half his age, Jimmy took a step inside the room trying reach his daughter who seemed all but lost.

Never backing down, Dean stood his ground, and shoved the grown man back in the doorway.

Something fierce pierced his eyes as Dean's gaze shot on the older man.

"I said you should go… you're upsetting her." His rough voice held solid, and none negotiating before he shut the door, giving the last word.

Apologies and amends where ever given the chance for flight. By new dawn light Jimmy would be gone, disappeared yet again, like the early morning mist.

_Now the years have passed us by And I still do not know why Before you tried You chose to quit So where are you tonight You could make it all alright But instead you're missing it You're missing it _

_Jason Walker "Your Missing It"_


	19. Chapter 19

_**The Day The World Stopped Spinning**_

_I know you're gone, I know you're leaving me,Behind your dreams, Behind your prayers._

Haley would always remember the day the world stopped spinning. The day the stars burned out in the sky, and the ground crumbled beneath her feet.

It was right before Thanksgiving, the day John had asked to speak with her… alone. That was rare, especially the way he said it, like a comet only seen every thousand year shooting across the night sky.

Even stranger, he had asked they speak in his room. John rarely let the kids in his motel rooms. He valued his privacy, like a hermit in the mountains plotting mass destruction.

It was easy to see why when Haley entered the motel room. Gory, horrific pictures of monsters, and their victims were plastered on the walls. Papers were scattered every where, like a library after a twister hits it, and old food, sometimes still in the wrappers covered every place else. It had a pungent smell and cold feeling. The place was like a horror house on Halloween, and left her with the same eerie feeling.

John softly asked her to take a seat on the bed, Haley silently compiled. When John took a heavy seat beside her, she finally got a good look at his eyes. Something pained drowned in his gaze, deeper than his usual saddened eyes, it was sorrow she recognized it.

Dread filled Haley's heart, knowing she had either done something really wrong, which was unlikely, or something terrible that happened.

John had placed a supportive hand over Haley's before he spoke. His eyes drifted to the ground, hiding from the growing fear in the young girls gaze he couldn't face.

Clearly his throat so his words came out smoothly, John spoke detached.

"I have some bad news." He began with a somber breath.

Apprehension widened Haley's eyes upon a man who felt like her father with the impending doom, but her lips stayed mute. Her heart pounded with fear so hard in her chest she thought it would burst, as she waited for words she knew would hurt.

"I've received word, there's been an accident." He paused for a moment to gather himself, as if his words didn't already hold enough weight.

"Your father's been killed on a hunting trip, Haley. I'm sorry." His voice was clear but pained, low and heavy on his breath. Jimmy had been his friend, another one bites the dust.

Haley stared at John in shock and disbelief, unable to say a word. As his message sunk in, Haley felt a gaping hole rip open in her heart. One she knew would fester and grow infected with time as it grew, but never healed. A wound so painful she could hardly feel anything at all.

Taking her silence as the only thing the girl he saw as a daughter could offer, John continued on. Trying to wrap up a conversation that ripped him apart at the seams too.

"He was given a proper hunter's burial, and I'm going to gather his belongings this weekend. Now I can try to locate some of your family, or you can stay here, with us." He spoke trying to make the only finale plans they were offered, since Jimmy's body was already taken care of.

Haley's frantic eyes shot to John before he could speak another word. "Here." She answered quickly, knowing even in her choking grief, there's no where else she'd rather be. This was her home now, her family.

Nodding in agreement, John accepted her word. Truth be told he loved her like a daughter, and his heart was relieved she wanted to stay. Wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder, John placed a brief supportive kiss upon the crown of her head.

_I hear your sighs, I hear your heartbeat,Pound me on my back, I'm on my own now_.

Walking numbly back into the room she shared with the brothers, Haley felt half alive, but mostly dead.

Both brothers jumped to their feet with her return. Knowing the significance of John needing to speak with her alone as well as Haley did.

The distant, decayed look her eyes said something was terribly wrong even when her lips didn't move.

Their eyes hung in suspense waiting for what was inevitably grim news.

Looking up from the ground, Haley found the brother's gaze waiting for her, as the detached words slipped from her lips.

"My dad's dead." The distance between her heart, and tongue so great it was disturbing, but necessary in order to protect herself. She still hadn't cried. The tears stung her eyes, but wouldn't form, it was as if it was such a crushing blow it did the opposite effect, and for the moment held her together, like cheap glue.

In a second Sam reached her, engulfing Haley in the safety of his arms embrace. His heart broke from the look in her eyes, and the way she didn't even have the strength to hug him back.

Haley's head nestled on his chest, as he held her tight.

"I'm here." He whispered a promise into her ear, because Sam loved her too much to offer a cheap, I'm sorry.

Dean came next, from the side. The brother's presence surrounding her, as Dean's strong hand found Haley's shoulder.

Grief and intense emotions of the same family never was his comfort zone, Dean simply squeezed her shoulder with reassurance. Opening his mouth he offered the only thing close to condolences he could muster. "You always were a Winchester anyway."

Haley carried through the rest of the day like a zombie. The weight of her loss, and what it meant too big to feel or digest. Terrified if she acknowledged it's presence for one second it would swallow her whole. It hung around her like a smoke of disease waiting to seep in and suffocate.

She went to bed early, exhausted from what she was feeling, and what she still couldn't face.

In sleep Haley hoped to out run the suffocating anguish that threatened to break her at every turn, but she couldn't escape what was inescapable.

Haley awoke in the middle of the night with a start. Covered in a cold sweat, her breath panting, her heart racing so fast she thought it was going to explode. It wasn't until she touched her face that she realized she was covered in tears. Haley had to fight to keep the sob rattling in her chest unwraps. Not wanting to wake Dean, asleep beside her on top of the covers as usual.

Haley had been dreaming, the image filled her mind. It was a memory from a time before, a happy place she would never visit again, but always be cursed with remembrance.

_What do I see,What do I feel,What do I love?_

Tears slipped from her eyes with the mere thought. She had been dreaming of a warm summer day. She was sitting on an old, wood splintered bridge that hung above a quiet flowing river.

Fishing pole in her hand, her father was seated beside her. Haley remembered the way she watched him so carefully, because back then she was certain he held the keys to the world in his hands. The way her heart felt safe and full beside him, because she not only knew he'd never let anything happen to her, but that he also loved her more then anything in the world.

Haley remembered the way her father had turned to her. An earth shaking smile of approval was across his face, as the sun reflected off his pearly teeth and shining eyes.

Haley remembered the way the world felt good, and whole in her heart. His memory stole the breath from her lips, and sent tears slipping off her cheeks like a biblical flood. Knowing she'd never feel that way again. Not now that he was gone.

Haley trembled in the bed, as she felt herself falling to pieces like glass smashed on the floor.

Glancing over at Dean's sleeping form, she knew all she'd have to do was nudge him, and in a second he'd be there for her the best be could. Dean hated tears, and overwrought emotions, but Haley knew in this case he'd be willing to rise to the occasion, but it wasn't Dean she needed, not tonight.

Haley needed her other half, her equal in heart. Climbing quietly from the bed, as not to wake Dean, Haley crept to the other bed.

There he slept peacefully, her beloved and best friend. Softly Haley touched Sam's arm, and her heart fluttered with the first sign of hope as his whiskey eyes opened.

Seeing Haley at the edge of his bed, tears falling from her eyes like a vicious rainstorm, Sam understood instantly she had finally broken. Let the news reach her heart.

Like the soft hearted boy he was, Sam pulled back the covers, and scooted over in the bed.

"Come here." He called with open arms, and empathetic penetrating whiskey eyes.

Not needing to be told twice, because she needed him more then she had ever needed anyone, Haley climbed into Sam's bed.

As he wrapped the covers and his arms around her, Haley nestled in a home against his strong chest.

Sobs shook her, but words never formed, because words were inadequate at times like these. Words only brushed the surface without ever reaching the low depths of her wounded soul. Words couldn't describe the way she would never be whole again.

She cried against his chest, unable to explain the way she felt different inside, like a giant piece of her soul was missing. Lost forever in a place it could never be retrieved, and yet it was such an important piece it could never be replaced. She would have to get use to the throbbing emptiness, because it would never be filled and never go away.

Sam held his dearest close in his arms trying to comfort her with his soothing touch. Softly he stroked her back, and lightly kissed the top of her head. Sam didn't know what she was going through. He was so young when his mother died, he couldn't mourn the loss properly, but being as connected as he and Haley were, Sam felt her pain. Felt the way it was killing her like a mortal wound.

It ached in his heart, and there wasn't anything Sam wouldn't do to ease that for her.

Together they stayed, tangled up in each other. Haley needed Sam, as if he was the only life line in an ocean of tortured emotion. Whose tidal waves threatened to drown her, as they crashed upon her over and over again.

Sam cradled Haley through the night, needing her to know, no matter what crossed their path he would always take care of her, because she meant more to him then life it self. While he couldn't fully relate to her pain, Sam made an internal promise to carry her through this and out the other side.

_I know you're gone, I know you're leaving me,Behind your dreams, Behind your do you think,What do you want,What do you love?_

_Jessica Riddle "Gone"_


	20. Chapter 20

_**No More Dreaming**_

_Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state,A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake,No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber,Until I realized that it was you who held me under_

They squatted at a cabin in Nebraska for the holidays. Some run down wooden building that looked more like a shack then a retreat. They found it deep the woods, abandoned for the season, so John staked it as their own.

Snow was on the ground, covering the earth in a thick white blanket, that gave the false appearance of being pure. The trees hung bare all around, except for the evergreens which stood out fuller then ever. Like giant Christmas trees for mother earth. Trying to lighten the spirit, John promised they'd go out and cut one down, have a real Christmas tree this year, but no one held their breath on that.

The holiday spirit was dampened by their usual brightest light, who this year had all, but burned out. Haley didn't want to rejoice, she didn't want to pretend to be happy. It wasn't within her to even fake it.

The air was frigid and still as Haley sat silently on a log a few feet from the ramshackle cabin. Her eyes dazed and lost on nothing in particular as she lie in waste to the world.

Like her four o'clock shadow, like Siamese twins, Sam sat beside her. Always there, even when she wasn't.

He had followed her outside, feeling she shouldn't be alone. She wasn't chatty like she use to be or vivacious, few signs of life, but he expected that. The perpetual gloom had become common place, and loving her the way he did, Sam accepted that. He took a backseat role, quietly watching, looking out for her. As he always did, but now with ever vigilance as Dean did with almost equal force in a slightly more distant observant kind of way.

Watching her breath visualize with ever exhale, but her body held numb against the cold, Sam jumped into action. Scooting closer to her on the frozen, snow dusted log, Sam wrapped his steady arm around her. Before pulling her fragile body snug against his with care. "You're cold." His ever deepening voice noted with worry.

Her eyes turned to him suddenly, big honey orbs pinning him with the force of her stare. "Not when I'm next you. You keep me warm." Haley answered softly, her breath slow, and detached as their eyes locked from inches away. A life line, that's what he was. Sam was the strong thickly bound rope tying her to the rescue boat known as life. A rope in her drowning state, her weak fingers could barely grasp.

Staring into her eyes, Sam felt he could reach inside her, but like every time before all he felt was emptiness when he did. "Talk to me." His thick voice pleaded, his puppy dog eyes begged.

Wrapped under his heavy coat and strong arm, Haley shrugged her shoulders as her eyes remained unrelenting upon him. "What do you want me to say?" Her lips moved, responding smoothly, but even Haley knew Sam could see the numbness in her eyes. She couldn't give him what he wanted. She didn't know how to make him understand her flesh now felt different on her bones. That her soul felt altered, and permanently changed. That even though eyes couldn't detect the transformation, Haley could feel inside she wasn't the girl she use to be. She was an orphan… a drifter… a rolling stone.

Sam's face dropped with sadness to the hopelessness on her breath, and the way she felt so far away even right beside him. "Tell me what your feeling?" His heart reached for her in his words, while his whiskey eyes penetrated her with just as much feeling.

_Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids,Shaking through my skull, through my spine, and down through my ribs_

Never backing down, never pulling away from his gaze, but still not meeting him half way. Haley hesitated for a moment. A sigh left her breath with the pause before something broken, and beaten down returned to her honey orbs.

"I don't feel anything at all." She admitted quietly, before her eyes broke from his, and her head rested softly on his shoulder, snuggling in deeper against him. Painful numbness, Haley couldn't find the words to describe the cold contradiction inside her. The hollow feeling that could only be understood if felt.

Sam's caring heart broke with her words, leaving an actual stinging in his chest. He had never seen her like this, not even after her attack. It was as if all the life had drained from her, and she didn't even have the will to fight back. As if the straw had finally broken her back.

Accepting what she couldn't give, Sam made up for it on his end. Holding her tighter, Sam leaned down, planting a soft kiss her on forehead as she rested against him. Pulling her closer, Sam kept his jacket as close to closed as it could get, trying to fill her with love and warmth.

As the sun began to dwindle, and a freeze began to pick up in the air, Sam finally stirred.

"It's getting late. We should go inside" He thick voice whispered lowly against the smooth texture of her temple.

Her eyes closed against the comfort, and the way when he touched her it killed the ache just a little bit. "Not yet." Haley's sleepy voice called back as she lingered in her quiet place. Sam was the closest thing to life. He was tangible, familiar, and warm. Part of her wanted to burrow inside him, and never leave. Another part her wanted to push him away, because no matter how hard he tried, he didn't know what she was going through.

Sam wasn't sure she even noticed, but he could feel her body begin to tremble against the cold. Shivers were claiming him too as the winter chill grew ever more abrasive. Pulling back from their interlocked embrace, Sam rubbed her arms briefly, trying to stir her.

"Come on, Hales. It's getting cold." He spoke up as he stood to leave.

Bright less, empty eyes turned to him suddenly. "Go on ahead. I'll meet you in there." Her lips moved easily as her eyes lingered on him, but Sam could see they were oceans apart. Then her eyes darted away, and returned the safety of empty air.

Sam stood still, his boots ankle high in the snow, knowing in his heart she wasn't going to be persuaded. Tiny fluttering snow flakes caught his eye as they danced to the white earth. A chilly one landed on his nose before rapidly dissolving, in that moment Sam couldn't help but compare Haley to the melting snow flake, disappearing before his eyes.

His face hung low with disappointment as Sam's heavy feet stomped over the crunching snow as he drifted back to the cabin.

A loud swinging door filled Sam's ears, his face shot up with the noise, and spotted Dean exiting the cabin, making his way for the car.

Sam reached his brother's side as Dean began to search the trunk for something Sam couldn't identify.

"Dean?" Sam called out, a hesitancy in his voice. He had a request for his brother, one Sam knew Dean would resist, but Sam felt he had to try.

Still elbows deep in the trunk, moving items, and searching others, Dean glanced over at his little brother briefly. "Yeah?" His gruff voice responded.

Pausing for a moment, Sam almost backed out of his cutting it deep conversation, but then his eyes caught Haley still sitting alone on the log like a frozen snow man, and his heart found courage. "We're loosing her." His voice edged with emotion revealing how badly this situation was torturing him.

Dean's hands stopped searching the trunk, he finally pulled back from the confines of the car, as his emerald eyes found Sam. Their eyes met, and held in a moment of understanding before Sam's gaze shot to Haley, and Dean's followed.

"She wont come in. She's going freeze out here. Talk to her… please. " It was easy to hear this was difficult for Sam to ask, but he had to do something.

Dean's piercing emerald eyes shot back to Sam, resistance like a neon sign in his orbs. "Why me?" He asked with a shrug of his shoulders. The idea of a heart to heart the last on his list of good ideas, he wasn't the brother who was good at that. The logic behind Sam's request was lost on him.

Swallowing hard before he spoke, Sam knew Dean wouldn't like what he was about to say, but Sam was going to say it anyway.

"Because you remember when mom died." His words came out slow and easy in their approach, not wanting to set off his big brother.

Something fierce and heated narrowed Dean's eyes as if Sam had crossed an invisible line. His pert pout tightened but never opened to speak.

Stronger then he looked, Sam held his brother's gaze even in the resistance.

"I don't remember. She needs someone who understands." His voice stayed steady and strong, but feeling he was going to loose the battle his tone finally faltered. "… Dean, please."

With his little brother's puppy dog eyes full of heartache upon him, his voice begging,

Dean caved.

_And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack,All around the world was waking, I never could go back,Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open,And finally it seemed that the spell was broken,_

"Fine." His rough voice barked out. Without another word, Dean slammed the trunk close, and marched over to Haley. Apprehension growing in his heart, he didn't know what he was suppose to say to her. Dean was never good at the feeling stuff that came so naturally to Sam, but seeing how much this meant to this little brother, Dean hoped he'd figure something out.

He found her staring off into a grove of trees as if it were the most amazing thing to capture the eye. Taking a seat beside her on the frigid, hard log, Dean instantly felt awkward when she didn't even acknowledge his presence.

His piercing eyes drifted until they stilled on her delicate pale hand rested on her lap. Reaching out he touched it, and was shocked by the ice cold that should have felt like warm flesh. "Sam's right, you are freezing." Acknowledgement resounded on his deep breath as Dean shook off his trademark leather jacket, and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Haley's sorrow filled honey orbs hit him then. A soft, but weak smile touched her lips in response to his kindness before her eyes quickly drifted away back to the trees of splendor. Dean's hidden heart reminded Haley how much she missed her moments with him, but she didn't have the strength anymore to the lower the wall he kept around himself. She had her own wall now, so she left his be.

Clearing his throat, Dean's mind couldn't come up with anything. She usually drew him in, but lately she held everyone at bay. At a loss for ideas, Dean went with honesty. "Sammy's worried about you." He spoke blatantly as his eyes followed her view line hoping to catch a glimpse of what was so mesmerizing. Even though he knew what stole her attention wasn't out there.

Her shoulders shrugged in response, as her voice finally came to life, quiet and meek. "Sam worries too much."

A laughter mixed huff lifted Dean's chest as his stubble lined chin gave a slight nod. "Your probably right about that" His rough voice agreed.

Then the silence returned, thick and with an awkward feel. Trapped in the cold ever growing night, Dean finally began to see Sam's point. Biting the bullet, now or never, Dean did what he did so well, and just went for it. "I ever tell you about when my mom died?" The words came uneven and slow off his breath as if forced, and in a sense they were, because Dean would never normally talk about her.

Big honey orbs that held the weight of the world in them finally turned to shine upon him, and stayed. Her lips didn't move, but her head shook no, indicating he hadn't. Her heart sped up, Haley felt it coming off him like a musk, this was Dean pulling back the layers. This was as bare and deep as he got.

Taking a deep breath to push himself along, Dean gazed out at the trees, finally understanding the safety of them, and said words he never spoke. "Yeah… I was four, Sammy was a still baby." Dean's head shook against the painful memories of a time and place so much different, and more full of warmth then now. "Something killed her in a fire… I remember waking up to the smell of smoke, and my dad hollering…I carried Sammy outside, and then the whole house was in flames… It happened so fast. She was gone so fast." Dryness found his gritty voice, but edges of pain could be easily detected.

_And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open,And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open_

Dean's head shook with the mental comparison of how things were then to the twisted road of where things were now. "Everything changed after that." His confession came out thick and low on his breath.

Her piercing honey eyes never left his image as Haley felt the importance of Dean's heart revelation, and the way he made her feel a little less alone in her plight. As if maybe she wasn't the only one drowning in a tsunami of grief. There was a sick comfort in knowing Dean understood what it was like to choke on a loss so painful it felt like her lungs were filling with water as she fought to breathe.

"Does it ever get easier?" Her quiet voice spoke, the impending weight of her question big in her eyes.

Dean finally glanced her way again, and their eyes met in a solemn solidarity.

"In some ways, but you're never the same… at least I wasn't." The brutally honest truth of his words sent Dean's gaze shooting back out into the growing darkened forest. Where Haley couldn't see how hard it was for Dean to admit how deep his damage ran. Like a disfiguring scar that would never go away.

Having an honest deep moment with someone Haley felt could truly understand what she was going through, she opened up about one of the things that burdened, and strangled her most. "I was so mean to him last time I saw him. I told him to stay away, and now I'll never see him again." The words broke on her lips as tears chilled from the winter weather slipped freely down her cheeks. Her heart clenched with the physical pain that rattled her chest, and made it hard to breath.

Hearing the vibration of her breath, Dean knew without seeing her tears that she was crying. His heart softened with her pain, the way she always got to him. Reaching out, Dean wrapped a strong arm around Haley, and pulled her to him in support.

Feeling her softly cry against him, Dean held her tightly, rubbing her leather covered arm lightly as his chin rested on the crown of her head. "Don't beat yourself up, baby girl. We all say shit we don't mean… just give it time." His deep, rough voice reassured.

Before they had realized darkness had taken it's hold, the sun had disappeared, and they wouldn't have even noticed if the voice of reason hadn't come calling.

A deep burly voice rang out loudly from the front door. "It's dark out. Get inside." John ordered. His tone may have sounded demanding, and cold to those who didn't know, but his kids knew him well enough to know concern, and love was buried beneath it.

Quickly pulling back from Dean with the reality check, Haley wiped her face dry. Looking over at piercing emerald eyes that watched her with concern, she smiled softly with reassurance. She wasn't better, not by a long shot, and couldn't even begin to see that day on the horizon, but what Dean did for her, going out on a limb with his heart, at least gave her the hope one day it wont hurt as bad. And most of all it showed her the reaching depths of Dean's affection.

Shimmying her shoulders, Haley began to strip off his jacket as they stood, and felt their feet sink deeper into the snow. "Here let me give you your jacket." She spoke with ounces of more life on her breath.

Catching her in the act, Dean gripped the collar of his old worn in jacket, and pulled it back up to her neck. Their eyes caught in his caring gesture, honey dew and emerald green. "Keep in on till you get inside." The deep texture of his voice called as his eyes resonated with his affection for her. An affection that surprised him all the time, because after his mom, Dean swore he'd never let another girl in. Never run the risk he could loose her too, but looking in Haley's eyes it always amazed him that with her it never seemed like a choice.

Letting the moment slip away like moments do, Dean wrapped an arm around Haley's shoulders, and led her back to the cabin where Sammy waited in the doorway for their return.

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone,No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden,No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love,No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love,No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

Florence And The Machine, "Blinding"


	21. Chapter 21

**Note:** This Chapter takes places in Feb. The last chapter took place in Dec. A few weeks before Haley's birthday. So Haley is now 16 and Sam is still 16 also. Let me know if there's any confusion.

In The Air Tonight

_Home in the valley, Home in the city, Home isn't prettyAin't no home for me_

Sixteen is a complicated age for anyone. More complicated when you love your best friend, but can't be together. Even more complicated when you have few family roots, almost no friends, and no place to call home.

Sam and Haley had stayed true to their agreement to stay platonic since her attack, and just be friends, but decisions have consequences.

Other girls noticed Sam, which wasn't anything new, but finally in Wisconsin, one had caught his eye in return. They were still just friends, but it was easy to see both wanted more.

While Haley on the other hand was lost inside. First the attack, then her father died. She drifted aimlessly, unable to rebound. Wanting nothing, but needing everything.

This lethal combination between the pair simmered for weeks until one night in February it finally boiled over.

When Sam walked in the door, the motel room was completely dark besides the light bursting from the TV. Quickly he stepped in, and locked the door behind him, following protocol. Sam gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the lack of light. That's when he spotted Haley.

Sitting alone on the floor at the base of one of the queen beds, knees tucked under her chin. She didn't even look his way.

Taking off his heavy jacket, Sam tossed it on the bed. Silently he went, and sat beside her on the floor, his eyes falling to the TV. When Haley didn't make a sound, Sam questioned her. "What are you watching?" Sam asked casually.

Never turning to look his way, chocolate eyes glued on the TV, Haley answered quietly. "Night of the living dead," The title eerily ironic to her true twisted feelings inside.

Sam nodded with acknowledgement. "Nice choice." He smiled, grin wide on his face.

Settling in beside her, his best friend, and lone companion, Sam watched the movie.

"Where's Dean?" Sam questioned making small talk, surprised his brother wasn't here since he had been when Sam left.

"Dad called, he needed an extra hand. Dean said he'd be back tomorrow." Haley delivered absent and detached.

Sensing something was off with Haley, but also knowing if she didn't bring it up, he shouldn't push her anymore, Sam stayed quiet. He tried to reach her, but lately no one got in under the surface, not even herself.

Abruptly Haley turned to him, something Sam could have sworn was sadness directed at him touched her eyes. "You're late." Two simple words spoken, that said volumes.

Watching Haley carefully, Sam shrugged his shoulders. "I walked her home." He explained simply.

Nodding to his answer, Haley turned away again, staring back at the TV as if she cared. Pinching her lower lip between her teeth, Haley held back the tears that stung her eyes. Sure _'this girl' _was just a friend, but Sam cared more for her, Haley could see it in his eyes. She was loosing him, like she looses everyone.

Haley had been off more than her usual grief for the last week now. Sam could always sense her, feel her, and something was wrong. He just couldn't put his finger on it, and every time he tried to question her, Haley got testy with him, so he stopped.

Close to an hour passed, as they sat in silence, a new found awkwardness to their company. It made Sam's skin crawl. He hadn't felt this way toward Haley before; it was like waking up, and finding himself a stranger. He couldn't reach her, not this time, she wouldn't let him in.

_Home in the darkness, Home on the highway, Home isn't my wayHome I'll never be_

Since the moment Sam walked in the door, Haley had been tossing an idea around in her head. Was tonight the night? Could she really go through with it? Truthfully, Haley had been contemplating _'it'_, ever since _'she'_ began to sparkle in his eyes, but uncertainty held Haley at bay. She had never gone that far before, neither had Sam, but she loved him. She wanted him to be the one, she wanted him back.

Seeing the look in his eyes tonight, Haley felt confirmation, she made up her mind. She wasn't going to loose him, she couldn't bare it. Not to _'her'_, not to anyone

Without warning, Haley placed her hand gently over his, drawing his attention.

"Haley?" Sam turned to her, question in his concerned eyes. Surprised she suddenly wanted to acknowledge him.

Looking into whiskey eyes she loved most, Haley admitted something.

"I missed you." Heartache edged in her voice.

A soft radiant smile filled Sam's face, touched by her answer. "I missed you too…"

Sam easily tried to return the sentiment, but Haley stopped him halfway, as she leaned over, letting her lips silence him.

Sam felt a spark shoot off through him, as Haley's soft plump lips grazed his. She hadn't kissed him in months. Her rules, and this was completely out of the blue, but he still loved it, loved her.

Reaching up, his hand cupped her cheek in his palm, as Sam gently kissed Haley back.

Their lips moved together, gentle with familiarity and youthful wanting. This kiss was full of implication, and had nothing to do with friendship. Their mouths parted like a sea, their lips intertwined, as Haley brushed her tongue across his pout, asking for permission.

Being older and a boy, the full weight of the moment fell on Sam's shoulders. As the seconds passed, Sam's mouth parted letting their tongues delicately meet, and they didn't pull apart. Being the good hearted boy he was and her protector, Sam broke the heated kiss. Pulling back, he slightly shook his head for clarity.

"Haley?" He questioned her, confusion on his breath, surprise hung in his whiskey eyes. Uncertain where this was all coming from and what it meant.

She stared into big puppy dog eyes that reached inside her soul, and offered the only hope of fixing her. Eyes that felt more familiar to her than her own, Haley refused to back down. She had made up her mind; she was doing this, giving herself to him. She knew if she did, he'd be all hers once again.

Never explaining, Haley pulled back from Sam. Taking him by further surprise, she reached for the hem of her tee shirt, and nervously pulled it up over her head.

Swallowing hard, Sam felt dazed as Haley's exposed skin came into his view. He had seen parts of her before, but never from this angle. Sam could hardly believe what she was doing, his mind almost incapable of comprehending it.

Clutching her shirt in trembling hands, holding it close to her bare chest to retrain a little modesty, Haley gazed over at Sam.

"Sammy?" She called to him, nerves in her quiet voice.

Vulnerability hung in Haley's big chocolate eyes, as her orbs begged him not to turn her away. Screaming she needed him.

Sam's heart began to race in his chest, his throat dried up. Haley had never done anything like this before, but Sam knew what she was offering, it was clear as day.

_Burn out the day, Burn out the nightI can't see no reason to put up a fightI'm living for givin' the devil his dueAnd I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you_

Unable to stop himself, or what he was feeling, Sam reached out, and gently touched her supple cheek again with endearment. His knuckles softly stroked the rounded flesh as his breath quickened. Sam watched breathless as her eyes fluttered close, and her face leaned into his touch.

Breaking his resolve, Sam leaned over to her, capturing her mouth back in his sweet embrace. Delicately, softly, he loved on her, cherishing her the way his heart did.

Taking the lead even though Haley could see in Sam's eyes, he already knew where this was heading. Haley broke the kiss, and slowly leaned back onto the floor, smiling softly, as she watched Sam follow her movements.

Sam's kindhearted face came to hover above her, his shaggy loose hair hanging down, as his arms braced himself on either side of her. Haley leaned up on her elbows, and met his lips. Kissing him softly, Haley pulled back, and saw uncertainty in Sam's eyes.

"Don't do this to me, Hales. Dad would kill me if he found out." Sam begged, his heart torn between her, and what he knew he wasn't suppose to do. Kissing was one thing, but Dad and Dean would have his hide if they found out he had sex with her. Not to mention, he had just left Rachel's side. A girl he knew had a crush on him as much as he did her, even though it was nothing compared to the way he felt about Haley.

Lying back down on the dingy carpet, Haley stared up at Sam hanging above her. Locked onto his whiskey eyes, Haley covered her exposed skin with her arm.

"Then don't do it, it's ok." She offered him a simple out, but she wasn't willing to be the one to pull away. He had to, she couldn't, she was too broken to back away from the edge.

Staring down on Haley, the beautiful angel he had loved, and wanted for as long as he noticed girls. Sam knew he was weak to her, he always had been. Her creamy skin lying below him, as her piercing nervous eyes begged him not to reject her. Sam never had a chance.

"I can't." Sam broke with a heavy breath, before lowering onto Haley to recapture her lips. Sam found her eager and waiting. They kissed softly, slowly creating a moment, as their hands held onto each other.

Feeling him surrender, proving he loved her as much as she loved him, Haley shifted her position beneath him. Heart pounding nervously out of control as Sam's weight came to rest in just the right way.

Sam choked on a sharp breath against her lips with Haley's unexpected movement, unprepared for the overwhelming way it would feel lying on her in such a way.

_Time is the essence, Time is the season, Time ain't no reasonGot no time to slow_

Pulling back, Sam gazed down on Haley with a wide contagious grin. Mesmerizing like looking into the sun. Stroking the hair from her face, Sam made sure the desire for this was still in her eyes. Finding affirmation, Sam reached behind his neck, and began to pull his shirt off.

Always ready to lend a hand with him, Haley reached for his stomach, helping him push the fabric up.

Leaning up, Sam rested on his knees, as he pulled the shirt over his head, and off his arms before playfully tossing it on Haley's face.

Giggles erupted from under the cotton; Sam's face glowed with his shining, earth shattering smile, as a few chuckles escaped him too with the sound of her laughter. He had missed the sound of her happiness.

Pulling the shirt off her face, and throwing it aside, Haley found Sam's eyes waiting for her.

Something new hung in his gaze, something heated, and wanting that made Haley's belly stir. Sam had only looked at her in such a way once before, now she understood what he had wanted. She liked it, being wanted that much.

Reaching up Haley ran delicate fingers down his tight chest to his taunt stomach, exploring him with a playful smile on her lips.

Looking up, Haley watched as Sam lowered back down on her slowly. Nervousness and wanting mirroring in their locked eyes, this was new, but exciting.

His weight settled on her, his warm skin rubbed against hers. It felt safe and enveloping, but also smooth and thick.

Their lips found each other quickly, moving faster this time. They kissed with eager anticipation and a desire that rumbled up deep from within.

Knowing where this was going, Sam's gut urged him to explore what was finally his to discover. Slipping from her lips, he trailed light kisses along her jaw line, going for her neck that called to him. Her soft supple skin smelt sweet under his noise, tasted like nectar on his lips.

Reaching the sensitive skin of her neck, his face nuzzled the curved flesh.

"I never could say no to you." Sam admitted with a heated, delirious breath.

Haley stared up at the popcorn ceiling in heaven, her bare back lie on the dingy, dirty carpet below. Sam's warm skin and his teasing nose above. Her lady fingers tangled in his brown, loose locks holding him close.

Sam's breath felt hot on her neck, mixed with the touch of his nose, tickled Haley's skin and sent a confession from her lips.

"I can't loose you, Sammy. I couldn't bear it." She admitted her truth too. This is how she knew she wouldn't loose Sam. Knowing he couldn't turn her away.

Deep in her heart Haley knew she only did it, because she loved him, couldn't live without him. Especially not after what she had already lost.

Sam's lips held onto her fruity tasting skin, his mouth rounding the curve of her collarbone, before her words stopped him.

Pulling back to look in her eyes, Sam chuckled. "Not possible." Hearing her admit her neediness for him pierced Sam's heart. He'd be lying if he said he didn't need Haley, he had always needed her, always would.

Dipping down, Sam brushed his nose to hers, in an Eskimo kiss, endearing smile on his face.

More giggles erupted from Haley, as she squirmed underneath her best friend, feeling completely safe and loved. Real happiness filled her heart for the first time since her father's death.

Her fidgeting body below him sent a groan fumbling off Sam's lips, as his face crashed in the curve of her neck in response, trying to hold himself together.

Taking a deep breath to calm what he was feeling, Sam lifted up and looked into Haley's eyes. Softly stroking her cheek bone with his thumb, Sam questioned her before they went any further.

"Are you sure this is what you want? We don't have to do this." His voice came out in a whisper, but the look in his eyes said she held all the cards.

Her heart raced under Sam's gaze. Haley knew all she had to do was say the word and he'd stop, but looking up at Sam, she didn't want too. Haley loved Sammy, now she wanted to show him how much. "You're my best friend, Sam. You're the only person I'd trust to do this with… I'm sure." Haley whispered back, and then silenced him with a kiss.

_Burn out the day, Burn out the nightI'm not the one to tell you what's wrong and what's rightI've seen suns that were freezing and lives that were throughBut I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you_

"_Burnin for You" Blue Oyster_

**Note: **Try to understand. This was going to happen eventually. This is where Sam and Haley were leading all along. And after loosing her Father, Haley needs Sam. I'm not saying this is the best way for her to need. I wouldn't recommend it. But look at the environment they've grown up in. And she feel threatened by this other girl. So Haley made Sam hers, so he could never leave her. Her biggest fear, loosing someone else.

Wanted to explain who Rachel is. She's Rachel Nave as mention on SPN in episode's… Season two "What is and what should never be" and she is also mentioned in Season five "Swan Song". Both times mentioned as Sam's prom date.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Light The Fuse And Get Away**_

_Happiness is just outside my window Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour? Or is happiness a little more like knocking On your door, and you just let it in?_

It was prom time at Diamond View High School in Ohio. Normally such petty, over done rights of passage where ignored by the Winchester clan, but somehow this one weaseled it's way into approval.

Sam and Haley knew John would never let them go together. Everyone at the school thought they were related, but that point was moot compared to the nightmarish rumblings that circulated through John's mind when he conjured up thoughts of the prom night ritual.

So it worked out nicely when Rachel asked Sam. Going as friends they agreed, to have fun, and avoid the over-hype. When Haley got asked by a senior well known for his football skills it seemed like fate the youngest Winchesters should go. Little did anyone know the beautiful disaster that would unfold.

That year John gave Dean the Impala for his twenty-first birthday. Dean barely left his new obsession he called baby, so it was no surprise when he insisted on taking them to and from the event. To ensure they went nowhere else, John easily agreed with a hidden sigh of relief.

Sam and Haley went shopping at the local thrift store. Per their choice, neither was ever much for fashion.

All done up in a midnight blue suit that elongated this already tall frame. The color made his whiskey eyes and adorable grin pop like a star in the night. Sam was down right edible, and John couldn't help the proud grin that swept across his face with the sight of his youngest son looking so grown up.

Haley was mind blowing as she emerged through the motel door. The manager of this seedy little hold up had a sweet spot for John and his motherless children. Seeing this night as one for the memory books, she offered to help Haley get ready for the event. Since on a average day the girl preferred to look laid back, and casual like her boys.

Haley's long golden locks lay in ringlets like a veil around her. Simple touches of make-up accentuated her naturally beautiful face. Haley had chosen a simple white dress. Silky in texture, the thin straps hung on her shapely shoulders, the front dipped just low enough to be revealing without actually showing anything, and, the hem stopped a few modest inches above her knees. Simple short white heels completed the set.

As a group the Winchester men stopped breathing as they took in her breathtaking image.

The first to find his voice, Dean's wild emerald eyes shot to Dad. "You not actually going to let her out looking like that, are you?" His protective streak reared it's head, and sent his voice rougher than usual.

Sam stood speechless engulfed by the sight of Haley as he tried to remember how to breathe.

A hearty chuckle left John's chest with Dean's worry. A worry John would be lying if he said he didn't have too, at least a little, but he trusted Haley's sensible nature.

"I think she looks beautiful." His voice grew thick with touches of emotion as a gentle grin swept across his face.

Teasingly, Haley stuck her tongue out at Dean saying she won that round, before she raced over to her dad. Wrapping him in a big hug, a smile burst from her face. "Thanks dad!"

Giving her a tender kiss on her forehead John pulled back. Knowing the kid's dates would be arriving any minute, he returned to his seat at the motel table. His small arsenal laid across the plywood table top, John picked up his favorite shot gun, and began cleaning it again.

John's deep whiskey eyes met Dean's piercing emerald with a unspoken understanding before he spoke. "I think your knifes could use sharpening." His burly voice was matter of fact, but everyone knew what he was up to.

Nodding in agreement, Dean quickly proceeded to pull out every knife in his and Sam's collection before having a heavy seat on the end of the bed, and went to work.

A light airy giggle escaped Haley's pink lips as her eyes shot to Sam's soft whiskey pair with an all knowing look. Taking a seat across from John at the table Haley tried to reassure his concerns. "Dad, you don't have to worry. I don't even like this guy. He just asked me, and I wanted to go. Nothing bad is going to happen." Her big doe eyes shined upon her old man as an amused grin danced across her face.

John's tired eyes flashed up at her briefly. "You're right, nothing will." He stated with certainty in his tone.

A knock at the motel door put the conversation to rest.

Rachel got off easy. Being a girl no one was threatened by her, but Chad barely made it through the door before weapons were nonchalantly tossed about like conversation.

If she had really liked this guy, Haley would have been mortified, but not being interested in him in that way, she found the whole scene a little amusing.

The ride to the fancy hotel was taken in silence, ACDC blared from the speakers, saying everything that needed to be said.

Once Dean parked the car, Rachel was the first to step out. Sam went to follow his date when Dean halted him for a moment. Sam looked back to his big brother with perplex in his soft whiskey eyes.

"Here take this." Dean insisted with a shit eating grin smeared across his face as he tried to hand Sam a condom.

Sam's head shook rapidly from side to side. "Dean, I don't need that." Sam answered through a tight jaw, hopping his date wasn't witnessing this.

Being a good older brother who always wanted to look out for Sam, Dean didn't back down. He dropped it in Sammy's lap, as his gaze pinned his little brother.

"Take it. I remember what it's like to be your age. Shit happens when your with a pretty girl. Better to be safe." His rough voice came out smooth with years of wisdom.

Letting out an awkward heavy breath, Sam nodded, and shoved it in his pocket. He had no intention of needing it, let alone with Rachel, but he understood Dean's motives, and the fact that they came from the heart.

Everyone piled out, but Chad had the bad luck of being the last out of the car.

As he went to take a step out onto the pavement, Dean gripped his arm tight, and swiftly pulled him back in his seat. Their eyes met, deathly seriousness hung in Dean's piercing gaze. "If you touch her, hurt her, or make her cry, I'll kill you, and where I put your body no one's ever going to find. Got that Chachi?" His voice gritty and deep, Dean made it abundantly clear he meant business.

Haley returned to the open passenger door just in time to spot the fear of god hanging in her date's eyes as they met. "Dean, what are you doing?" She questioned him, as if she was telling her attack dog to back down.

His charming trademark smirk filled his face as Dean glanced her way, and casually let go of Chad's arm. "Just having a friendly conversation with your date, right buddy?" Dean smoothly lied before his eyes shot back onto the boy with a glare that said obey me.

Swallowing hard, Chad nodded quickly. "Yeah, sure." He mumbled as he rapidly moved out of the car.

Slamming the passenger door shut, Haley lingered for a second longer. Her chocolate eyes catching Dean's emerald green as her hand braced the open window frame.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Her sweet voice asked with genuine interest.

A grin stole his face with the sight of her, and the way she was cute in the simplest definition. "Hit up a bar. Cause a little trouble." Dean answered with a wicked smirk.

A laugh left her beautiful face as Haley nodded to his predictable nature. Flashing Dean one last smile in departure, she left the car, and joined Chad in front of the school.

Reaching Chad's side Haley offered him a kind smile as his eyes roamed over her before he returned the smile. Something hidden in his grin. Catching Chad's imagine in the light, Haley couldn't help but notice he was handsome in a pretty kind of way, with his blue eyes, blonde spiky hair and tall frame.

Catching a glimpse of the stealth beauty that is the Impala leaving the parking lot in a roar of thunder, Chad asked a pressing question. "So your brother's pretty protective." He said, stating the oblivious.

Haley couldn't help the giggles that escaped from the trepidation in Chad's eyes. "Yeah, but he's really sweet underneath it all."

Joining in her laughter, Chad nodded. "So he was just joking back there?"

Haley's laughter stopped immediately as a timid smile edged on her painted face.

"Oh no, he'll kill you, but he's really sweet underneath it all." She explained. The horror that filled Chad's eyes, reminded Haley yet again how she wasn't like other kids.

Taking her hand on his own command, Chad laced their fingers, and walked for the entrance. Haley wanted to pull her hand back, but he did buy her ticket, and they would be spending the dance together. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed the feel of someone other then Sam.

"Sam's your brother too, right? How does that work since your in the same grade, but not twins?" Speaking up, Chad made conversation that seemed relevant.

Lightly Haley's head shook, sending her golden curls dancing. "Sam's not my brother. He's just my family." She quietly corrected.

"But Dean's your brother and Sam's?" The confusing terms came of Chad's lips slowly as he tried to figure out if he said that right.

Silently, Haley nodded with a smile. Seeing the lack of understanding in Chad's eyes, Haley put it to rest. "It's complicate. Don't over think it."

_Happiness feels a lot like sorrow Let it be, you can't make it come or go But you are gone- not for good but for now Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good _

Five fast dances and three slow ones later the prom was in full swing. A compilation of music that could easily be found on the billboards top fifty continuously played. Not the kind of music Sam and Haley were use to. This music lacked heart and soul.

The punch was watered down, and the meal was over cooked, but just being able to attend a normal teenage function made the night note worthy for the youngest Winchester's. It wasn't the time of their life, but at least they got to experience how the other half lives.

Rachel's hands lie laced around the back of Sam's neck as the song died down, and conversation erupted in the crowed room before another round of music silenced it.

A cry over shadowed every other noise in the room, Sam and Rachel shot to the sound like everyone else. They easily spotted a girl in hysterical tears racing toward the bathrooms in true dramatic teen form.

"That's my friend Becca... I should probably go see if she's ok." Rachel spoke up, the reluctance easy to detect on her voice, while clear to see in her eyes she wanted to stay with him.

Gently pulling her hand from around him, Sam took a step back. "I understand. Go see your friend." He nodded, agreeing with her. While he tried desperately not to lead her on.

His gentle spirit understood she liked him in a way he couldn't return. The thought of hurting her weighed heavy on his sensitive heart.

"I wont be long. Go check on Haley she looks kind of bored." Rachel suggested with a smile as her deep brown eyes darted to a corner of the ball room.

Sam's gaze followed suit, and easily spotted Haley standing along the wall beside Chad.

Her eyes lazily wandering around the room as Chad's mouth moved a mile a minute, clearly rambling about something of little importance to Haley.

As Rachel disappeared to attended to her friend, Sam moved through the crowd until he reached Haley. Their eyes met as Sam watched a bright smile sweep across her face with his appearance.

"Wanna dance?" He asked, as a slow rhythmic melody filled the room.

Oblivious to Chad, lost in a world of their own. Haley nodded with excitement, and took Sam's hand as he offered it. Sending Chad a quick sheepish smile of warning. Without a word, they disappeared onto the dance floor.

Mixing into the crowded dance floor, the pair turned to face each other. Staying at an appropriate arms length distance, Sam's nervous, lightly shaking hands found Haley's waist. Their eyes met as Haley's arms delicately tangled around his neck.

They moved slow at first to find their step. Getting lost in the slow soothing melody, the world began to disappear around them.

Chocolate orbs stayed glued to whiskey ones as the music all around seeped under their skin, and brought everything undercover about them to life.

Heart pounding faster, Haley felt emotion stirring within her as she gazed into Sammy's eyes. Emotion that only recently had begun to sprout, but here in this moment. In this beautiful peaceful place that only belonged to them, Haley finally understood what that emotion was.

_Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard Happiness was never mine to hold Careful child, light the fuse and get away 'Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks _

Step by step, inch by inch they crept closer together, until they were completely wrapped up in each others arms. The lights almost seemed to dim as the music faded in the background. Their nose's could almost touch as the look in their eyes became palpable with deep swelling affection. That not even right time and wrong place could dispel.

A small captivating smile crept on her painted lips as she gazed into Sam's eyes. Slowly Haley leaned over to his ear. Higher then the clouds, soaring in the place she knew was heaven, Haley told Sam a secret she hadn't fully understood until tonight.

"I love you," She whispered softly in his ear as everything around them stopped, and disappeared in this perfect poignant moment.

Pulling back their eyes met with a force great enough to knock the earth from it's axis. Without it needing to be said, Sam knew what kind of love she meant. It wasn't friendship, or family. It was my heart speaks only your name, and when your beside me I feel whole. He could feel it coming off her in their connection, he could still hear it in her whisper that echoed in his head.

Their interlocked eyes expressed things words couldn't say in this pivotal life altering moment that would change them forever.

Looking into Haley's penetrating chocolate eyes, Sam's heart could have stopped it felt so alive, because in that moment, Sam knew nothing in life could ever knock him down as long as he had her.

Forgetting where they were, and not really caring anyway, Sam had to show Haley how every beat of his heart felt the same as he leaned over, and softly kissed her lips.

Their kiss held in the moment, locked in a soft, tender embrace until the music ended, and reality settled back in it's place

Pulling apart, taking a step back, Sam and Haley instantly realized everything around them had actually stopped. Most of their classmates watched in scrutinizing disbelief. While most people had no idea what their story was, or how they were related. The general consensus was that they were related, and the way they had just been dancing, coupled with that kiss was something everyone knew family didn't share.

Crimson flushed Haley's cheeks as her gaze dropped against the gawking stares.

Flashing Sammy her piercing chocolate eyes one more time, Haley slowly backed away from the scene of the crime. Even though truth be told, she could see in the glance they shared neither cared what anyone thought. They wouldn't be at this school much longer anyway.

Leaning against an empty wall, Haley kept to herself after her and Sam's display. Hoping to fade into the background. From the way Rachel and Sam were sitting at a table sipping punch, deep in conversation it seemed she hadn't witnessed their private moment that happened for almost all to see.

Haley hadn't spotted Chad in a while, and frankly had no desire to. She wasn't interested in him. How could she be when her heart belonged to someone else, and she knew Chad only liked her for the way she looked anyway. Haley could tell by the way his eyes scanned over her body, always missing her eyes.

Silently hoping he had just left or found someone else, Haley was greatly disappointed when Chad reappeared suddenly beside her.

_Happiness damn near destroys you Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor So you tell yourself, that's enough for now Happiness has a violent roar_

In an empty darkened corner of the room, Chad took advantage to get in close to Haley. With a tugging hand, he pulled a curled lock of her hair behind her ear, and leaned in close to her face. "I like you, Haley." His voice came out cocky, his eyes assured as if those words should mean something magical to her.

Playing his move, Chad leaned in to kiss her, but Haley dodged him, scooting further along the wall. "Chad, your nice, but I don't like you that way." Haley gently corrected him, making it clear their company wasn't going anywhere.

Use to getting what he wanted Chad came at Haley again. Leaning over her, his arms encaged on either side of her frame so she couldn't escape, Chad came in close.

Trapped against the wall, Haley stood rigid, but fierce against his closeness. Her eyes found Sam's from across the room. She could tell her orbs told him something, because heated concern quickly engulfed his normally gentle whiskey eyes.

"I said I like you." Chad repeated with more insistence as one of his hands slipped from the wall, and pulled the strap of her dress off her shoulder. Before Haley could push him away his face lowered to her bare shoulder. His breath felt hot against her skin before he began to lightly kiss her smooth shoulder.

Not willing to let anyone touch her against her will again, let alone some egotistical boy, Haley shoved him back.

"Don't touch me! I don't care if you like me, because I don't like you! This date's over! Find your own ride home!" Something feisty shot from her eyes as her tone bit back hard.

No an unacceptable answer for someone of his caliber at this school, Chad grabbed her wrist with a death grip, and shoved her hard back against the wall. Getting inches in her face, he seethed. "What only Sam get's a taste? I bought you here. Time to pay up." Hatred and ugly anger burned from him like a flame.

Haley struggled to get her hand back, and create distance against a stronger boy, but

in a second the altercation was over as Sam yanked Chad away from Haley, practically throwing him.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Sam hollered accusingly as he quickly got into between Chad and Haley. Wrapping a protective arm around Haley, Sam began to lead her away as Rachel followed supportively by his side.

Eyes began to stare as people began to notice the scene. Not willing to be made a fool of in front of everyone Chad lashed out. "Oh I get it, so only you can fuck her? Fine, have her! What do I want with an incest freak!" He was loud and belligerent so everyone could hear.

Sam felt Haley tense in his arms against Chad's assaulting vile words. Quickly Sam released Haley and spun around on his heels. Fuming, Sam stomped over to Chad, protecting Haley's honor. Getting inches in his face, he made his point crystal clear.

"If you ever go near her again I'll kill you." Sam's warning came out low but deep as his eyes drilled into Chad with the threat me meant with every fiber of his body.

Having made his point, Sam stepped back, and returned to Haley and Rachel. His course palm clasped Haley's as Rachel followed close by, and everyone looked on with intrigue.

"We're leaving." He barked with frustration just loud enough for the girls to hear.

Out in the parking lot as they waited for Dean to arrive they agreed as a group not to tell him what happened with Chad. Sam had handled it well enough, but mostly Sam and Haley didn't want Dean doing anything on impulse, and getting himself in trouble. Chad was a minor, Dean an adult.

Frustrated anger still surging through his veins, Sam continued to stomp around the parking lot, while Rachel and Haley sat on the curb.

Her dark blonde hair swayed as she turned to Haley. "Are you ok?" Rachel's voice filled the night air with genuine concern.

Glancing over at her, Haley found a real smile forming her face to Rachel's kindness.

"Yeah, I'm all right. Thanks." She nodded slightly as guilt instantly stung her heart. Haley knew Rachel liked Sam as more then a friend. Haley also felt certain Rachel had no idea what was going on between her and Sam.

Staring at a girl Haley felt could have been a friend if she hadn't lied to her from the start, Haley had a moment… Rachel's eyes flashed ebony black.

Heart shooting to life, Haley felt the organ shoot up her throat as she rapidly shot away on the curb.

"Haley? …Haley? Sam!" Rachel's voice rose in worried fright as Haley came apart before her eyes.

Blinking rapidly, it was gone as quickly as it had been there. Taking slow deep breaths, Haley calmed herself. "I'm sorry." She quickly apologized to Rachel for loosing it as Sam came rushing to her side.

Crouching down low on the pavement, Sam's palm gently cupped Haley's cheek.

"Hales, are you ok?" His breath thick with worry as his puppy dog eyes surfaced. Knowing what had happened to her before, Sam worried Chad had riled up old haunted memories.

Nodding against his touch, Haley tried to reassure them. She got confused. It had been a tense night. She was under a lot of stress. She was seeing things. Haley recited excuse after excuse in her head to explain away what she had so clearly seen with her own two eyes.

_Happiness is like the old man told me Look for it, but you'll never find it all Let it go, live your life and leave it Then one day, wake up and she'll be home_

"Happiness" By The Fray

**Note:** I know it seems like Haley has a hard time with guys (Shape shifter, now Chad) but I see the shape shifter thing as something that could have only happen on SPN, while pushy guys with a sense of entitlement I think is more something almost any girl can relate to.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Part 2: Bad Company**_

_Company Always on the run,Destiny is the rising sun,Oh I was born 6-gun in my hand,Behind a gun I'll make my final stand,That's why they call me Bad company,_

The ride home from the prom was only eventful in retrospect, taken mostly in silence and secrecy. The sound of Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On" among other songs was their soundtrack, but only that song mattered.

Rachel sat in the front seat with Dean while Sam kept Haley company in the back.

Lightening up the mood, Rachel commented on how she loved the song. Shooting Dean a smile that only seemed too friendly in after thought. Surprise filled Dean's eyes before he flashed a smirk of approval back her way.

No one said what happened at the prom, and Dean never pushed past their vague response. He didn't even ask why Chad hadn't returned with him. Counting his blessing the douche bag was gone.

Back in the motel they were quiet as not to disturb dad next door. Dean was the first to take a heavy seat at the plywood motel table, before pouring himself another shot of whiskey.

Taking him a by surprise, Haley plopped on Dean's lap, her arm dangled around the back of his neck as her tired head came to rest his shoulder. Loving the feel of his little gem so close, Dean's arm wrapped around her waist to hold her steady as if she was still twelve. His lips dropped a quick peck of endearment on her cheekbone as her head lay nestled in the crook of his neck.

It was clear from the scent on his breath Dean had been drinking for awhile, but that wasn't out of the ordinary enough for alarm.

Sam took a seat next to Rachel at the end of the bed, his eyes glued on Haley and Dean. Before he finally pulled his gaze away, and noted Rachel's eyes were fixated on the table. Eyeing the half filled amber color liquor bottle, a smile perked up on Rachel's face. "Whiskey?" She questioned meekly, as if she didn't already know.

Dean's heart stopping emerald eyes flashed her way before he answered. "Yeah, you drink whiskey?" The surprise thick on his deep breath.

Crimson blushed her cheeks as she shrugged she shoulders lightly. "Sometimes… Could we all have a prom night drink?" She asked coyly with a touch of nervousness in her voice.

Dean let a out quick laugh with her suggestion, the warm liquor already fueling in his veins. "Sammy here can drink, but I'm pretty sure would Dad kick my ass if you or Haley touched the stuff." The words came smooth off his breath as if they were a joke, but everyone could see in his eyes he meant every word.

Not one to be left out just because she was girl, Haley chimed in, in agreement with Rachel. "Oh come on, Dean. Don't be such a Daddy's boy." Pulling her face from his neck to meet his eyes, she teased. Haley wasn't entirely in the mood for a drink, but she wouldn't miss the opportunity to be considered an equal, or poke fun at him.

_Rebel souls, Deserters we are called,Chose a gun and threw away the sun,Now these towns, They all know our name, __6-gun sound is our claim to fame_

Two pretty girls against him, his biggest weakness, Dean never had a chance. Letting out a deep chuckle and wicked grin, Dean conceded. "Alright, alright, one drink each."

His glossy eyes turned to Haley only inches away in his arms. "Wanna go get some ice?" He asked her as the pungent stretch of whiskey pummeled her face.

Ignoring the smell that had over time had become familiarly associated with Dean, like it was with John, Haley rolled her eyes, but nodded.

"I'll go with her. It's dark out." Sam jumped at the chance, quickly rising from the bed, and back onto his feet.

As Haley began to move to stand, Dean's grip on her waist tightened . Her butt settled back on his legs as their eyes met, questioning suspended in her chocolate orbs.

"Are you ok? Something happen at the prom? Something seems… I don't know… off." Dean's drunken lips quietly tried to explain the uneasy feeling that was coming off her. He couldn't put his finger on it, and he hadn't even noticed until she sat on his lap, but as she got close he felt certain of it.

Her heart began to pick up it's pace, looking into Dean's piercing emerald eyes, Haley almost felt like he could see through her. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Haley dismissed the idea, knowing only Sam could see inside.

So Dean must be picking up on something she was giving off. Plastering a smile on her face just for him, Haley reassured. "I'm ok… really." She insisted.

His sexy smirk flashed across his lips to the response he wanted to hear before he let her go, and sent her on her way.

Taking the cracking plastic tub meant for ice that came with every room, Haley and Sam went off for the vending machine.

As soon as the door shut, an eye catching flirty smile eclipsed Rachel's face as she rose from the edge of the bed. "So… Dean," She started, as she took slow swaying steps to the table, and took a seat on his lap where Haley had just been. Her haunting brown eyes deliberately hot on him as she appreciated the stunning features of his face, before making her next move. Dean knew he should push her off him, but the look in the eyes, and the whiskey rumbling through him couldn't have disagreed more.

The ice machine was just around the corner from their room, Sam and Haley weren't gone for more then five minutes.

Sam reached the door first, a few steps ahead of Haley who was carrying the ice, and was completely surprised when he found it locked.

His sensitive whiskey eyes shot to Haley who was now at his side, something suspended in his all knowing orbs. Something that came from his heart that felt the locked door wasn't just chance. "It's locked." Sam said simply, lack of feeling on his breath as he stepped back from the door. Not wanting to believe what he knew in his heart was the reason.

_Tell me that you are not a thiefOh But I am, Bad CompanyIt's the way I playDirty for dirty. Oh Somebody Double-crossed me, __Yeah, We're Bad company_

"Locked? Why would it be locked?" Haley questioned, an incredulous disbelief beginning to swirl in her eyes. Thinking he must have twisted it wrong, Haley handed him the ice, and tried again.

The same resistance to open met her grip. A thundering began to rumble in her belly, one that matched the sour look in Sam's eyes, but Haley didn't dare say the word intentional.

Knocking on the door, but not too loud as not to disturb Dad, Haley called out quietly. "Open the door. One of you knuckle heads accidentally locked it." A forced smile on her face, hoping Sam would believe it was some kind of prank, but from the look in his eyes she could tell he knew better.

No foot steps were heard, no words of explanation came through, no one approached the door, but a different noise came through. The sound of a loud high pitch moan radiated through the door, and sent Haley jumping back from it with a start.

Startled disbelief dilated Haley's eyes as they flashed to Sam to see if he heard the sound too. The beaten puppy dog look is what she found waiting in his whiskey eyes. The look that always sent an ache in her heart. "They're joking." Haley tried to reassure, always taking care of Sam the way he would for her.

Pounding harder on the door, Haley finally let her voice yell out. "This isn't funny! Open the damn door!" Her composure broke as the moans filtering from the room grew quick and louder, beginning to pitch off.

Her heart sunk as Haley finally admitted to herself, no one was playing. Haley had heard Dean give it to girls before, it wasn't a regular thing, but it happened.. They always sang like a bird in the early morning hours, just like Rachel was doing now.

Turning away from the door, Haley found Sam solemnly sitting on the curb, staring of into nothing. Going to his side, she took a seat on the cement beside him.

"Maybe they're not…" She tried to cover, wanting to save him from this hurt, but Sam's whiskey eyes shot to her as she spoke, and killed the words before she could finish. There was no confusion in his eyes. He knew exactly what was going on.

Tangling her arm around his, Haley rested her head softly on his broad shoulder as they sat out in the cold. What a sight they must have been, dressed up all pretty, seated on the dirty pavement, late at night with no where to go.

The tryst didn't last long, never did when Dean didn't give a shit about the girl. Just under ten minutes before the sound of the deadbolt unlocking could be heard.

That clicking noise set off a fury inside of Haley as if it was her they unlocked. As the door opened, Haley jumped up off the curb, and charged for the offenders.

Rachel made it out the door first, Dean was quick on her heels still pulling his over flannel shirt back on.

In a second Haley reached them, and let retribution fly. Before Rachel saw it coming, Haley slapped her hard, and fast across the face. "That's for Sam, you slut!" She yelled in revenge at Rachel's stinging face.

Everything fell apart in an instant, like a back draft blowing the doors off a building. Dean tried to pull Haley back, but she only struggling out of his arms.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled at him with such anger it could have burned. An anger she had never used against him before.

Taking a quick step toward Rachel again, Sam moved in, and caught her by the waist. His scent engulfed her nose, and Haley knew instantly it was Sam who had her this time.

Turning around to face him, she saw a quiet pleading in his eyes to not make a scene, not again.

Going against everything on fire inside her, but only because it was Sam asking, Haley backed down. Her jaw stayed tight, as Haley took Sam's hand in her own, and lead them to the open motel door. "Take her home." Haley growled like a wild cat along the way, her claws barely restrained.

Reaching the door, Rachel's voice finally picked up. Daring to speak even though that was the worst idea she could have had. "Sam…" Her voice quietly pleaded, shame and sadness written across her face.

Hearing her pathetic voice call his name, Haley lost all composure. Spinning back around, she was back in front of Rachel pushing her out into the parking lot before anyone could stop her. "Don't ever talk to Sam again! Don't look at him, don't think about him, don't come near him!" Haley order Rachel in a way that said there would be repercussions if she did, before shoving the girl back.

"I don't know what your problem is! I gave you what you wanted, now Sam's all yours!" Rachel shot back seething hot off her breath, never back downing.

Her words shocked Haley into a stand still for a moment. Finally realizing Rachel wasn't as innocent or naive as she pegged her for, and maybe that incident in the hotel parking lot wasn't a hallucination after. Like maybe that girl had more up her sleeve then Haley could even imagine.

In that second Dean had Haley in his arms, pulling her back. "Haley, calm down." His voice gritty and hard, but there was begging deep in his tone too.

Ripping his hands from her, Haley spun around to face him. "How could you do that Sam?" She yelled at him, disbelief thick on her breath as tears pooled in her eyes. They didn't have a lot, but they did have each other, and what Dean did went against the sacred bond that held them together.

Haley could see the painful regret blinding in his emerald eyes as he stared down at her speechless. Unable to explain why he let sex and girls get the better of him every time.

"God, Dean, when you are wrong. You are So wrong." The heartbreaking words slipped from her lips as a tears escaped her eye.

"Haley!" Sam voice came out demanding as he called her name. When she turned for the motel room, Haley spotted him already making hasty steps toward her, a million differently feelings flashing through his eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" A bellowing voice erupted into the night, stilling everyone.

Their faces whipped around to find John fuming in front of his motel door.

The anger dissipated from the group as fear took it's place. "Nothing, they just got a little rowdy. Sorry dad. I'm taking Rachel home." Dean quickly tried to cover as he reached Haley, and wrapped a heavy arm around her shoulder before leading her over to Sam.

"Get inside!" John ordered, the warning thick in his sleepy hung over eyes, still reeling from his late night bender, before he went back into his room, slamming the door.

Instantly the fight that could have exploded was dissipated with the wrath of John.

_I can hear them say, Bad company,And I won't denyBad, Bad companyTill the day I die _

_Bad Company, "Bad Company"_

**Note:** Try not to hate me. The show made this storyline. I just wanted to try and bring it too life. So did I? Or were you totally disappointed and didn't buy it for a second. Be honest... I love your honesty! There will be a part 3


	24. Chapter 24

_**I Can't Help Falling In Love With You**_

_Wise men say only fools rush inBut I can't help falling in love with you_

Once back inside the motel room with Sam, Haley shut the door, and locked it behind her. Eyes closed, Haley took a deep breath, still trying to wrap her mind around the last half hour. If she thought the scene at the prom was bad this stole the night.

Turning from the door, Haley found Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, his head hung low, silently lost in his thoughts.

Going to him, she stopped in front of him before gently touching his shoulder.

"Sammy?" Haley questioned with concern, her heart breaking for him.

As his face rose, puppy dog whiskey eyes caught her chocolate orbs. Sadness pooled in his gaze before he shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I had coming." He answered distant and reflecting. That same old feeling of being different, and not normal resurfacing under his skin.

Haley's eyes narrowed on him as she shook her head in disagreement. "No you didn't." Haley delivered adamantly.

Sam's eyes pinned her before his lower lip began quiver with the weight on him.

"We slept together, Haley. And then I took her to prom. I didn't want to hurt her. I knew she liked me… I thought she liked me." His breath started strong and burdened, but ended weak and unsure. Sam knew what he did was wrong even if his intent wasn't bad.

Delicately cupping his sad face in her palms, Haley softly shook her head.

"You didn't deserve that." Her words gentle, but insistent as they tried to make him see this wasn't his fault.

Seeing the pain in his soft eyes, Haley had to do something to fix the night. Plastering a smile on her face, bright just for him. Hoping it would warm him up, she spoke with cheer. "Let's share the bed, because you know I'm not sleeping in that one." Haley tried to be playful as she glanced over her shoulder to the bed full of ruffled blankets beside theirs, then back at Sam. "We can stay up late, watch movies like we use to?" Something eager picked up in her tone trying to win a smile from him.

Staring into her honey eyes, it always amazed Sam the way she could make his insides tingle with her smile. How she could make him feel better with her affection. Nodding in her hands, Sam gave into the magic she always made him feel.

Releasing his face, Haley's fingers dropped to his dressy button up shirt, and began to slowly undo them. One after the other, reaching the last button, Haley helped him tug the sleeves off his strong arms. Helping each other undress the top layers, like they use to when they were kids.

They shared an innocent smile before she made another move. Leaving his cotton tee shirt in place, Haley reached for the belt to his pants before quickly slipping it free from it's hook.

A chocking tightening feeling formed in Sam's throat with the feel of her hands beginning to unbutton his slacks. As much as he wanted to pretend they were still the same, the heat that flooded through him with her hands on his pants forced Sam to admit things really had changed between them.

Gripping Haley's hands, he stilled them as her big honey orbs shot up to his with question, oblivious to what she was doing to him.

"I got it." Sam chocked out, his breath coming off deeper and heavier then he meant it to.

Seeing the wanting look in his heated whiskey eyes, and finally realizing what she was doing to provoke it, Haley quickly let go of his pants as her cheeks flushed.

"Sorry," She apologized right away, astonished she could to that to him still hinged in her eyes.

Giving her hands a gently squeeze, Sam reassured with a quick flashing grin. "It's ok."

Taking a step back from him for much needed air, Haley went to her duffle bag to find her favorite over sized Led Zeppelin shirt Dean had given to her for bed.

Tossing it on the bed Dean and Rachel tainted, Haley turned her back to Sam the way she had done so many times before, as her hands fished up her back trying to reach the zipper to her dress.

Muffled frustrated noises escaped her lips as her fingers couldn't quite grasp it.

A huff of laugher escape Sam's smiling face with her struggled attempts, finding her irresistibly amusing.

Coming up behind her, Sam's voice bounced off her, quiet and deep. "Here, let me help."

His thick fingers slowly pulled the zipped down her back to reveal a sliver of her creamy skin in between the fabric. A shiver rippled through Haley as the cool air touched the newly exposed skin.

Feeling her quake in his hands, Sam reached up. His fingers sent tingles under her skin as they dance across of the top of her back, pulling her hair over to one shoulder. Leaning down, he tenderly kissed the top of her back. "Cold?" He whispered against her skin.

Haley's eyes closed with delirium against the feel of his warm lips and breath, as she silently nodded. The seduction of his presence so close had an intoxicating effect on her.

_Shall I stay, Would it be a sinIf I can't help falling in love with you_

Pulling back from her, before he let the moment get away from him. Before he let the screaming urge inside of him to touch her more take hold, Sam stepped back.

"Better change." He said, letting out a heavy breath to clear to his mind. Before going back to take a seat on the edge of the bed like before. Loving her enough to not ravage her just because her body called to him in his deepest desires.

She stole his sight, Sam couldn't help but watch fully enthralled as Haley slipped the dress off her shoulders, and let it fall to her feet. A strangling lump formed in his throat to the image of her creamy skin, and curved figure. His heart began to pound with the sight of her delicate hands reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra. Sam knew he shouldn't look at her, like he never use to, but now he was mesmerized, and glued as she slipped the straps off her shoulders, and her back became fully bare.

It wasn't until her sweet melody voice came to life, breaking his spell that Sam snapped back into reality. "I can feel your eyes on me, Sammy." Haley laughed, saying she knew what he was up to. She could feel his stare as if he were facing her, looking into her eyes.

Sheepishly Sam's whiskey eyes dropped to his lap embarrassed as his hands began to fidget. Grabbing the old shirt off the bed, Haley quickly pulled it over her head before turning back to face him.

She flashed him a coy little smile before walking over to the bed, and climbing on. Reaching the not so plush pillows, she waited for Sam. Until he came to rest in the spot beside her on the mattress.

Stretching out his arm to welcome her in, Sam was bewitched by the charming smile that stole her face in response to his invite. Burrowing in against him, in the crook of his arm, Haley laid her face peacefully on his cotton covered chest.

Sam fingered the remote in his free hand, turning on the TV, and flipping channels. Finding "The Shinning" on basic cable, he dropped the remote on the blankets. Silently they watched for awhile, letting the night slip away. Just them against the world.

Enjoying the feel of her in his arms, the way it felt so right in his heart, Sam finally spoke up.

"Did you mean what you said tonight?" He quietly asked as a nervousness was building in his gut.

"What did I say tonight?" Haley pretended to be ignorant, playing with him.

The arm snaked around her, slipped to her waist where he began to lightly tickle her.

"You know," Sam prodded as she squirmed against him, in his hands.

Pulling from his grip, Haley leaned up on her elbow to look in his beautifully gently whiskey eyes that were a window into his soul. "Oh, you mean when I said I love you." A mischievous smile teased on her face.

Sam's face held in suspended motion, itching to burst with a smile. "Yeah, that." It took every ounce of strength he had to keep it cool.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in a flirty fashion, Haley batted her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know." She continued to tease, slowly torturing him and loving it.

"Haley" Sam grunted, as his hands began to tickle her sides mercilessly again.

Squirming in his grip as laughter slipped hearty from her lips. "Fine," She cried out through giggles. His hands instantly stopped as Haley's penetrating eyes hit him, and reached inside. "Of course I meant it. I love you, Sam." The word moved effortlessly off her lips, full of heart.

Their eyes locked in the profoundness of the moment, before Sam slowly leaned up closer to her. "Good, because I love you too." He answered back, mere breaths from her lips as his heart pounded with her name.

Without another word, Sam leaned over capturing her lips in his own. Their tender kiss ignited, as Haley fell back down on the mattress. Her arms wrapped around his neck as Sam followed towering over her. His touch was caressingly soft like she was made of feathers and fairy dust. His kiss was eager as his tongue slipped between her pout as if she was sweetest thing he had ever tasted. As their tongues met something hot and electric began to prickle inside as their connection stirred to life.

They had only slept together that one time over two weeks ago. Never an appropriate moment in between to repeat the act. It was a life altering moment, a land mark event, and both were still trying to figure out what it meant by the time prom rolled around, but lying on the bed tangled up in each other it seemed clear it meant they were in love with each other.

His callus hand gently snaked up thigh under her oversized tee-shirt, until it came into contact with the skin around her hip. They were buzzed with the magnetism of their connection pulling them together. Building, until they could sneak inside and the feel the other. Sam was exceedingly soft in his approach, and part of Haley never wanted it to stop, but finally she came up for air. "Sam," she called in between kisses.

Pulling back, his breath panted on her face as his heated eyes found hers, hanging on her every word. The heat from their connection instantly began to cool from a boil to slow simmer with the loss of their touch.

"As much as I like this," She started with a charming smile. "Don't you think it's a little cliché to have sex on prom night? Besides dads in the next room, and Dean will be back any minute." She pointed out with a subtle twinkle in her eye that always made him weak to her.

Letting out a quick laugh, Sam had to admit she had a great point. Flashing her a winning smile that consumed his whole face, Sam dipped down, kissing her pout one last time before rolling off her, and back onto his back.

Snuggling back into his arms, as Haley's face came to rest on his chest an inkling stirred in her heart.

Running her fingers along his shirt over his tight stomach, Haley spoke up. "Are you disappointed we aren't going to?" Her heart needed to check.

His gripped tighter around her as his other hand found her chin to tilt her eyes to look up into his. "I like it, I mean I really like it" Sam admitted easily as he gazed into her eyes. "But I don't need it… I need you." He tried to explain it the best he could as his eyes gazed down at hers with love.

A smile light up on her face like fireworks in the dark. Reaching up Haley planted a kiss on his lips, one Sam easily returned. The kiss lingered, and quickly turned deeper as neither pulled back for air. Feeling her body begin to heat up wanting to boil, Haley pulled back.

"Stop doing that to me. At least until Dean and Dad leave." She teased him with a wicked grin before playfully swatting his chest.

Sam smiled in return, before Haley gently returned her head back to rest on his chest as they snuggled. Quickly falling asleep much sooner then they planned, but after such an eventful night it was to be expected.

_Like a river flows surely to the seaDarling so it goesSome things are meant to beTake my hand, take my whole life tooFor I can't help falling in love with you_

"_I can't help falling in love with you" Elvis Priestley_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Strung Out From The Road**_

_On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha,You can listen to the engines, moanin' Out its one note song,You can think about the woman or the girl, You knew the night before_

A week after prom bridges still weren't mended. Dean's transgressions hadn't just been forgiven and forgotten. He had crossed a line he couldn't just jump back across. Dean could see something in Sam's eyes said he wanted to forgive his brother, but Haley was an entirely different story. She wouldn't speak to Dean, and when she did it was only a few choice words that always left a stinging burn as an after taste, but Dean was damned and determined to fix things.

The night before Dad had taken off in the middle of the night for a job. Leaving only a few numbers scrawled on paper. The coordinates to where he could be found.

Having loaded up the Impala, and said goodbye to the town that would always be remembered as prom night hell, the Winchester's put Ohio in their review mirror, and set off for Wisconsin.

Mid-afternoon, Dean had been driving for countless hours. Town after town passed by through the windshield like a memory from a dream, all a blur and a little hazy. His road trip warriors were silent in their own world, and still generally ignoring him as if he was the black sheep. Haley lie sprawled across the backseat fast asleep as the day's sun beat down on her through the back window, while Sam sat in the passenger seat. His whiskey eyes glued out the window as if every town didn't look the same, as if every landscape wasn't something he had a seen a million times before, and still found eye catching.

The silence was deafening against the hum of Dean's favorite classic rock tunes and the roar of the engine. The yellow dotted line separating the lanes of the road ever present, taunting him with the endlessness of the road. Amplified by the prolonged silence that had never been shared between the group before.

When Dean couldn't take the silent treatment anymore, when his mind was going so crazy he was actually willing to have a heart to heart, Dean let out a heavy breath, and finally broke the silence.

"Sammy, can we talk?" His deep gritty voice called out of the blue as his piercing emerald eyes darted briefly on his little brother before jumping back on the road.

Sam seemed surprised by the sound of an actual human voice that didn't come from the speakers. Turning to glance at Dean, Sam's soft whiskey eyes held his brother for a moment as if weighing the option before his head slowly nodded. "Yeah," He answered simply, keeping his cards close to his chest.

Gripping the steering wheel tighter, Dean just spit it out before he could over think it, and chicken out. "Look man, I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry. I was drunk, and I wasn't thinking straight." The words came out genuine, and from the heart. Quite a feet for Dean, and they both knew it.

Out of the corner of his eye Dean could see Sam's orbs glance his way again as his face nodded with acknowledgement, but no words were said. Knowing his little brother better then anyone, Dean took that to mean Sam needed something more, and for his little brother he would give it. Clearing his throat, Dean tried again. This brutally honest stuff hard for him, but for Sammy he'd do anything. Even if it was like pulling teeth.

"You're my brother Sam. I'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you. It was stupid, and if I had known how much you liked her it never would have happened." Dean put himself out there in a way he wouldn't do for anyone, but his family. He would fight for them, because the kids and dad, that was all he had.

Sam's voice picked up quick and firm with insistence. "I didn't like her." He was adamant as his eyes darted on Dean, and Dean was actually surprised by this bit of news.

Staring back out at the passenger window, Sam went into deep thought. Something his brilliant mind did so well. "Look, I forgive you. Now can we just forget about it." His tone is strong in his request, but there's also something a little sad about it too. Sam's still hurt inside. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't, but for Dean he would forgive, because all they had was each other, and Sam still partially felt he had it coming. Only in retrospect could Sam say with completely confidence he should have never taken Rachel to the prom after sleeping with Haley, even if they had agreed they were only going as friends. What happened after still seemed like karma's fate smacking him in the face. Sam took note like the studious boy he was, lesson learned.

Dean nodded, satisfied by the answer. He could see there was twinges of resentment still under the surface, but Dean would respect Sam's wishes. Trusting with time they would fade, because Sam's big heart always had a way of persevering.

Trying to lighten the mood a perky smirk shot up on Dean's face as his playful eyes flashed to Sam. "What do you think the chances are this will go as easy with Haley?" He asked with a quick huffed laugh. Saying he already knew the answer.

Sam's whiskey eyes shot to his brother as amusement lit up his pupil. "Fat chance. You know how she is. Stubborn till the end." Sam laughed with the truth of his words. He'd never say it aloud, but he loved the way Haley was so protective of him. It made him feel worthy of love and special enough to fight for, especially since it was someone not blood related who loved him so much.

Dean nodded in agreement as another chuckle escaped his lips. Enjoying the light moment with his little brother he hadn't had since their blow out. "With the way she's acting you'd think Rachel was her date or something." He shot back sarcastically, and both brothers laughed in unison.

"She always was protective of you." Dean acknowledged a fact that was undeniable. He and Haley had a special bond, but the way she was with Sam, always has been, it was something else. Something all it's own.

"We take care of each other." Sam added with a sweet smile, the kind that didn't display pearly whites, but sill made his soft face shine as thoughts of her danced in his head.

Dean noted the look on his little brother's face, and while it wasn't out of the ordinary it couldn't help, but bring out the protective parental side in him. "But that's it, right? That's all it is." Dean prodded, his voice growing rough. It wasn't that Dean didn't understand, he just got nervous when it came to the kids. He couldn't help, but get nervous. They were at that age, and connected at the hip.

"Yeah," Sam mumbled an answer with a roll of his whiskey eyes. Dismissing Dean's authoritative stand.

"Yeah?" Dean pushed again, his piercing eyes darting between his little brother, and the road. Saying what he was asking was serious, and he wanted a serious answer in return, not the brush off. Something about Sam's answer not sitting with him right.

Watching Dean grow demanding Sam gave him what he wanted. Hoping the subject would get dropped.

"Yeah, ok? That's it." Sam answered as he looked his brother unwavering in the eye, but held an impatience in his tone. Sam didn't enjoy lying to his brother, but he also knew if Dean found out the truth he'd ruin everything Sam had with Haley, and Sam couldn't let that happen. Haley was everything to him.

Dean relaxed with the reassurance even if it had to be forced out. "Good, keep it that way." He nodded smugly pleased by the answer

_But your thoughts will soon be wandering, The way they always do,When you're ridin' sixteen hours, And there's nothin' much to do,And you don't feel much like riding, You just wish the trip was through_

They found dad at an old country farm, something about a nasty poltergeist with a need to a hurt, but that was for Dad and Dean to handle. Sam and Haley would be put up at a local motel, but for now it was training time. The perfect location. Out in the middle of no where. The farm was private property, and except for at the house it was generally uninhabited.

John said after being in the car the past two days they'd probably be stiff, and rusty. Nothing better to limber them up then a sparring match, John thought. Having his kids trained and prepared top on John's list, just below the job.

Dean and Sam went first. After making up on the road the wrestling match was clean. To the point, to practice the moves John had taught them to defend themselves with. Sam was tall and gaining in strength, but in the end Dean still took him down. Out weighing his little brother by a good thirty pound, Dean used it to his advantage, and took the upper hand. No hard feelings when it was over, but then it was Haley's turn. Dad assigned her to Sam as usual, but she insisted on Dean. The fire burning in her chocolate eyes as they landed on him, told Dean exactly why.

Dean took it easy on her even though she didn't share the same compassion. Taking out her aggression, Haley got in several good full swing punches that Dean knew would leave a bruise, and released a grunt on impact. With her feisty attitude leading her on, Haley even managed to block his attempts to get her back,. Swinging with less strength of course, but finally Dean took her down. As if there was any doubt over who would win. When she least saw it coming. Letting her anger get the best of her, when she swung full force, Dean caught her mid swing, and tacked her to the cold earth in a heartbeat.

Breath panting hard from the exertion, Haley huffed underneath him. Hovering above her, as he held her arms down, Dean could still see the hot embers burning in her chocolate eyes as they blazed up on him.

"Haley, calm down." Dean gently pleaded with her. A softness added to his usually rough voice. Having finally unleashed some of her building resentment, Haley was too riled up to just let it go. In one last seek of justice she kneed him hard and fast in the family jewels.

Dean rolled off her in an instant as he groaned loudly in pain, his hands cupping his groin. Scrambling to her feet without a word, Haley turned to Dad expecting a reprimand, but instead he just eyed her curiously with his tired whiskey eyes. "I like your initiative, but maybe we should just leave that for on the job. Not training." He went easy on her. Seeing something else was going on, something still fueling in her eyes.

Still fuming inside, and unable to talk about it aloud without getting dad involved, Haley took off into the field toward the free following river on the other side. Needing some time to herself to cool down.

As the pain subsided, Dean found his feet. Kicking the dirt to let off tension, he found John's narrowed eyes on him with suspicion. "What'd you do?" He asked simply, but it always sounded harder coming off John's deep voice. Looking at his son, John had no doubts that had been person, Haley had never done anything like that before.

Sam stepped forward from the spot where he had been leaning against the car to go after her, and make sure she was ok, but as Dean took a step in the direction she had taken off for, Sam halted. He knew they needed to work this out. She couldn't take another two days on the road while she gave Dean the silence treatment. They lived in too close of quarters for prolonged conflict.

Glancing out at her disappearing image tangled in the tall grass, Dean's eyes shot back to dad. "I'll fix it." He cryptically promised before taking off after her.

His boots stomped on the dirt as his jeans rustled through the tall grass. "Haley!" Dean's deep hollered after her even though he knew she probably wouldn't stop.

"Get lost!" Haley called back at him as she reached the rocky shore that surround the quiet, free flowing river.

When Dean made it through the grass, and reached the same rocky shore, he easily spotted her seated on the pebbles, staring out into nature. Coming up silently even though he knew his boots shuffled loudly enough against the pebbles that she'd know he was there, Dean took a seat beside her.

Haley didn't look at him like she normally would, her chocolate eyes darted out in the opposite direction as she tried to ignore him.

"Nice kick you gave me there. Nothing like shooting blanks the rest of my life." Dean joked through a sexy smirk, trying to lighten her up.

"Funny," Haley shot back unapologetically with a lack of feeling on her breath, without ever acknowledging him further.

Letting out a heavy exhale, Dean could see she was going to be much harder to deal with then Sam. "Hales, talk to me." He pleaded with her, and his voice showed it.

Her answer came back more heated then he expected as Haley's angered eyes shot on him. "How could you do that to Sam?" Her was voice direct and thick with accusation.

Never relenting from her eyes, Dean answered. "We talked. Sam forgave me." He told her simply with a shrug of his shoulders, hoping she could do the same.

Haley's eyes rolled as if not surprised Sam would be the first to give in. He was still in denial over who's fault this situation was to begin with.

"Good for him." She shot back sarcastically. Letting her stubborn nature shine through.

Reaching out Dean tucked a strand of Haley's silky hair behind her ear even as she tried to pull away. "Haley, tell me what your really upset about." He gently asked. It amazed Dean how easy it was to be open with her when he needed to be. He lived so guarded from the whole world, and yet with her he couldn't help, but be honest. Maybe because she always was.

Dean could see she knew he was being genuine, because her eyes softened on him as finally she looked his way. Something sad filled her honey eyes, and left a sting in his heart before her gaze darted away.

"You chose her over us. You locked us out of our room in the middle of the night so you could bang her. It was dark and cold out, but you didn't care. We're suppose to take care of each other, and you put her and what you wanted first." Something fiery hinged in her voice, but as her eyes hit him the hurt was swelling in her big orbs like when the tide comes in from the sea.

Finally Dean understood, it had nothing to do with Rachel. This had to do with betraying the bond that held them together in this lonely life on the road. It was them against the world. Everybody else was suppose to come second.

Reaching out he laced her delicate hand in his as the same sadness blinded his emerald eyes. Painful from knowing he really hurt her. His shoulder shrugged just before his lips moved.

"I screwed up. I know that. I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. Me and chicks… I don't know. You know how I am." His voice was honest, and thick with remorse.

As her eyes lingered on him, and his pain shined through, Haley finally saw that he got it, that he understood.

_So you walk into this restaurant, Strung out from the road,And you feel the eyes upon you, As you're shaking off the cold,You pretend it doesn't bother you, But you just want to explode_

"Because dad's gone all the time, and you lost your mom?" She delicately asked, because Haley was just beginning to understand the repercussions of loosing her dad, and the way it affected her relationship with Sam and Dean. The way it left her more needy for them, and their affection. Even now sometimes she feels so empty inside she's desperate to fill the gapping holes inside her with their attention. She wondered if that's how Dean feels when he chases tail. Especially since he doesn't really have someone older looking out for him. What with Dad gone more then he's not.

Dean stared at Haley blankly for a moment. The urge to glare at her, and tell her to shut up strong within him, like he would with anyone else that brought his mom up and constant dad's absence, but looking in Haley's eyes all he saw was a genuine need for the truth. So he gave it to her.

"Yeah, probably." He nodded slightly, sure something empty held in the eyes the way it still held empty in his heart.

Feeling they had made a break though, that her walls were coming back down, because now they both understood the situation better, Dean felt it was ok now to ask for forgiveness.

Squeezing her hand, Dean watched Haley carefully as he dared to ask the most important question. "Can you forgive me?" His eyes hung on her waiting for her condemnation or pardon.

Waiting for a moment as she gazed into this penetrating eyes. Their orbs tangled as Haley took the time to really think about his request instead of just complying.

Squeezing his hand back, she nodded back silently with a subtle smile. She never could stay mad at him long. She need him and his affection too much, especially now that her father was gone.

"Yeah?" Dean questioned her as he began to perk back up, elated by her answer. His big hands reached out, and began to tickle her sides mercilessly. Needing to touch her, having missed her presences endlessly. The way the light inside her could always drown out the darkness in him.

Haley fell back onto the pebbled beach as giggled erupted loud and choking from her lips. "Yeah," She managed to squeal out an answer as she squirmed in his hands.

Dean's hands stopped their attack with her confirmation as he hovered over her, his hauntingly beautiful eyes lingered on her. A soft genuine smile lifted his face as he gazed down upon her.

With the sun shining bright in the sky, hitting him like a spotlight as he leaned over her, in that moment Haley couldn't help, but notice Dean was breathtakingly handsome. The way the sun light made the golden strands in his hair shine. The way his eyes held different flecks of the most stunning green hues in his orbs. The way his lips were perfectly shaped and looked so soft in their fullness. Haley's heart began to race with the sight of him in a way it hadn't in a long time. She could feel it stirring, that attraction, that innocent crush that made her feel so guilty inside when it came to life.

Dean's callused hand reached up to gently stroke the side of her face as he gazed down on her, before his mouth watering smirk eclipsed his face with the sight of her.

Haley could have slipped away his touch was so soft and calling in that moment.

As his eyes gazed down on her, full of heart. His thumb stroked enduringly her cheek one last time before his voice picked up, and broke the moment the way she needed it to. "Don't ever kick me in the balls again. Got it." He joked as hearty chuckles slipped from his lips.

His humor set the mood back at ease as Haley shoved those inapposite feeling back in their hidden box deep inside her, and laughed along with him.

Jumping to his feet, Dean extended a hand to her and helped Haley onto hers.

Standing before him as the sunlight hit his face, one of Dean signature grins waited for her.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Dean pulled Haley close against him. His lips brushed her forehead softly in a familiar gesture before he made a confession. "I missed you, baby girl." It was true and the way the words left his breath proved it. Haley had become one of those things he couldn't live without, like Sam and Dad. Having her block him out had been killing him. Loosing Sam and Haley the past week had also taught him a lesson. They were worth keeping his inner demons in check for.

"Missed you too." She sent back his way with a bright sun shine smile just for him as her arms wrapping lovingly around his waist. Something inside her belly rumbled she should keep her distance after their moment, but Haley refused to let things become weird.

They held onto each other as they slowly made their way back over to Sam and Dad through the tall grass. Their conflict over prom finally resolved while another moment was banished from the books of history, and yet would never be fully erased.

_Out there in the spotlight, you're a million miles awayEvery ounce of energy, you try and give awayAs the sweat pours out your body, like the music that you play_

_Here I am, On the road again, There I am, Up on the stageHere I go, Playn' star again, There I go, Turn the page_

_Metallica, "Turn The Page"_

Note: For those who felt Haley and Sam forgave Dean too quick. It had been a week. I see Sam as still feeling guilty and holding himself responsible and that's why he forgave Dean so quickly. Also, it's his brother, closer to him then his father. Sam needs to Dean, Rachel didn't mean enough to not forgive.

As for Haley, I feel Haley forgave because she understands Dean better now that her dad is gone. She always felt for him but now she understands. So she's more understanding about why he does the things he does.


	26. Chapter 26

_**I Can't Help Falling In Love With You**_

_Wise men say only fools rush inBut I can't help falling in love with you_

Once back inside the motel room with Sam, Haley shut the door, and locked it behind her. Eyes closed, Haley took a deep breath, still trying to wrap her mind around the last half hour. If she thought the scene at the prom was bad this stole the night.

Turning from the door, Haley found Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, his head hung low, silently lost in his thoughts.

Going to him, she stopped in front of him before gently touching his shoulder.

"Sammy?" Haley questioned with concern, her heart breaking for him.

As his face rose, puppy dog whiskey eyes caught her chocolate orbs. Sadness pooled in his gaze before he shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I had coming." He answered distant and reflecting. That same old feeling of being different, and not normal resurfacing under his skin.

Haley's eyes narrowed on him as she shook her head in disagreement. "No you didn't." Haley delivered adamantly.

Sam's eyes pinned her before his lower lip began quiver with the weight on him.

"We slept together, Haley. And then I took her to prom. I didn't want to hurt her. I knew she liked me… I thought she liked me." His breath started strong and burdened, but ended weak and unsure. Sam knew what he did was wrong even if his intent wasn't bad.

Delicately cupping his sad face in her palms, Haley softly shook her head.

"You didn't deserve that." Her words gentle, but insistent as they tried to make him see this wasn't his fault.

Seeing the pain in his soft eyes, Haley had to do something to fix the night. Plastering a smile on her face, bright just for him. Hoping it would warm him up, she spoke with cheer. "Let's share the bed, because you know I'm not sleeping in that one." Haley tried to be playful as she glanced over her shoulder to the bed full of ruffled blankets beside theirs, then back at Sam. "We can stay up late, watch movies like we use to?" Something eager picked up in her tone trying to win a smile from him.

Staring into her honey eyes, it always amazed Sam the way she could make his insides tingle with her smile. How she could make him feel better with her affection. Nodding in her hands, Sam gave into the magic she always made him feel.

Releasing his face, Haley's fingers dropped to his dressy button up shirt, and began to slowly undo them. One after the other, reaching the last button, Haley helped him tug the sleeves off his strong arms. Helping each other undress the top layers, like they use to when they were kids.

They shared an innocent smile before she made another move. Leaving his cotton tee shirt in place, Haley reached for the belt to his pants before quickly slipping it free from it's hook.

A chocking tightening feeling formed in Sam's throat with the feel of her hands beginning to unbutton his slacks. As much as he wanted to pretend they were still the same, the heat that flooded through him with her hands on his pants forced Sam to admit things really had changed between them.

Gripping Haley's hands, he stilled them as her big honey orbs shot up to his with question, oblivious to what she was doing to him.

"I got it." Sam chocked out, his breath coming off deeper and heavier then he meant it to.

Seeing the wanting look in his heated whiskey eyes, and finally realizing what she was doing to provoke it, Haley quickly let go of his pants as her cheeks flushed.

"Sorry," She apologized right away, astonished she could to that to him still hinged in her eyes.

Giving her hands a gently squeeze, Sam reassured with a quick flashing grin. "It's ok."

Taking a step back from him for much needed air, Haley went to her duffle bag to find her favorite over sized Led Zeppelin shirt Dean had given to her for bed.

Tossing it on the bed Dean and Rachel tainted, Haley turned her back to Sam the way she had done so many times before, as her hands fished up her back trying to reach the zipper to her dress.

Muffled frustrated noises escaped her lips as her fingers couldn't quite grasp it.

A huff of laugher escape Sam's smiling face with her struggled attempts, finding her irresistibly amusing.

Coming up behind her, Sam's voice bounced off her, quiet and deep. "Here, let me help."

His thick fingers slowly pulled the zipped down her back to reveal a sliver of her creamy skin in between the fabric. A shiver rippled through Haley as the cool air touched the newly exposed skin.

Feeling her quake in his hands, Sam reached up. His fingers sent tingles under her skin as they dance across of the top of her back, pulling her hair over to one shoulder. Leaning down, he tenderly kissed the top of her back. "Cold?" He whispered against her skin.

Haley's eyes closed with delirium against the feel of his warm lips and breath, as she silently nodded. The seduction of his presence so close had an intoxicating effect on her.

_Shall I stay, Would it be a sinIf I can't help falling in love with you_

Pulling back from her, before he let the moment get away from him. Before he let the screaming urge inside of him to touch her more take hold, Sam stepped back.

"Better change." He said, letting out a heavy breath to clear to his mind. Before going back to take a seat on the edge of the bed like before. Loving her enough to not ravage her just because her body called to him in his deepest desires.

She stole his sight, Sam couldn't help but watch fully enthralled as Haley slipped the dress off her shoulders, and let it fall to her feet. A strangling lump formed in his throat to the image of her creamy skin, and curved figure. His heart began to pound with the sight of her delicate hands reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra. Sam knew he shouldn't look at her, like he never use to, but now he was mesmerized, and glued as she slipped the straps off her shoulders, and her back became fully bare.

It wasn't until her sweet melody voice came to life, breaking his spell that Sam snapped back into reality. "I can feel your eyes on me, Sammy." Haley laughed, saying she knew what he was up to. She could feel his stare as if he were facing her, looking into her eyes.

Sheepishly Sam's whiskey eyes dropped to his lap embarrassed as his hands began to fidget. Grabbing the old shirt off the bed, Haley quickly pulled it over her head before turning back to face him.

She flashed him a coy little smile before walking over to the bed, and climbing on. Reaching the not so plush pillows, she waited for Sam. Until he came to rest in the spot beside her on the mattress.

Stretching out his arm to welcome her in, Sam was bewitched by the charming smile that stole her face in response to his invite. Burrowing in against him, in the crook of his arm, Haley laid her face peacefully on his cotton covered chest.

Sam fingered the remote in his free hand, turning on the TV, and flipping channels. Finding "The Shinning" on basic cable, he dropped the remote on the blankets. Silently they watched for awhile, letting the night slip away. Just them against the world.

Enjoying the feel of her in his arms, the way it felt so right in his heart, Sam finally spoke up.

"Did you mean what you said tonight?" He quietly asked as a nervousness was building in his gut.

"What did I say tonight?" Haley pretended to be ignorant, playing with him.

The arm snaked around her, slipped to her waist where he began to lightly tickle her.

"You know," Sam prodded as she squirmed against him, in his hands.

Pulling from his grip, Haley leaned up on her elbow to look in his beautifully gently whiskey eyes that were a window into his soul. "Oh, you mean when I said I love you." A mischievous smile teased on her face.

Sam's face held in suspended motion, itching to burst with a smile. "Yeah, that." It took every ounce of strength he had to keep it cool.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in a flirty fashion, Haley batted her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know." She continued to tease, slowly torturing him and loving it.

"Haley" Sam grunted, as his hands began to tickle her sides mercilessly again.

Squirming in his grip as laughter slipped hearty from her lips. "Fine," She cried out through giggles. His hands instantly stopped as Haley's penetrating eyes hit him, and reached inside. "Of course I meant it. I love you, Sam." The word moved effortlessly off her lips, full of heart.

Their eyes locked in the profoundness of the moment, before Sam slowly leaned up closer to her. "Good, because I love you too." He answered back, mere breaths from her lips as his heart pounded with her name.

Without another word, Sam leaned over capturing her lips in his own. Their tender kiss ignited, as Haley fell back down on the mattress. Her arms wrapped around his neck as Sam followed towering over her. His touch was caressingly soft like she was made of feathers and fairy dust. His kiss was eager as his tongue slipped between her pout as if she was sweetest thing he had ever tasted. As their tongues met something hot and electric began to prickle inside as their connection stirred to life.

They had only slept together that one time over two weeks ago. Never an appropriate moment in between to repeat the act. It was a life altering moment, a land mark event, and both were still trying to figure out what it meant by the time prom rolled around, but lying on the bed tangled up in each other it seemed clear it meant they were in love with each other.

His callus hand gently snaked up thigh under her oversized tee-shirt, until it came into contact with the skin around her hip. They were buzzed with the magnetism of their connection pulling them together. Building, until they could sneak inside and the feel the other. Sam was exceedingly soft in his approach, and part of Haley never wanted it to stop, but finally she came up for air. "Sam," she called in between kisses.

Pulling back, his breath panted on her face as his heated eyes found hers, hanging on her every word. The heat from their connection instantly began to cool from a boil to slow simmer with the loss of their touch.

"As much as I like this," She started with a charming smile. "Don't you think it's a little cliché to have sex on prom night? Besides dads in the next room, and Dean will be back any minute." She pointed out with a subtle twinkle in her eye that always made him weak to her.

Letting out a quick laugh, Sam had to admit she had a great point. Flashing her a winning smile that consumed his whole face, Sam dipped down, kissing her pout one last time before rolling off her, and back onto his back.

Snuggling back into his arms, as Haley's face came to rest on his chest an inkling stirred in her heart.

Running her fingers along his shirt over his tight stomach, Haley spoke up. "Are you disappointed we aren't going to?" Her heart needed to check.

His gripped tighter around her as his other hand found her chin to tilt her eyes to look up into his. "I like it, I mean I really like it" Sam admitted easily as he gazed into her eyes. "But I don't need it… I need you." He tried to explain it the best he could as his eyes gazed down at hers with love.

A smile light up on her face like fireworks in the dark. Reaching up Haley planted a kiss on his lips, one Sam easily returned. The kiss lingered, and quickly turned deeper as neither pulled back for air. Feeling her body begin to heat up wanting to boil, Haley pulled back.

"Stop doing that to me. At least until Dean and Dad leave." She teased him with a wicked grin before playfully swatting his chest.

Sam smiled in return, before Haley gently returned her head back to rest on his chest as they snuggled. Quickly falling asleep much sooner then they planned, but after such an eventful night it was to be expected.

_Like a river flows surely to the seaDarling so it goesSome things are meant to beTake my hand, take my whole life tooFor I can't help falling in love with you_

"_I can't help falling in love with you" Elvis Priestley_


	27. Chapter 27

**Warning: **Contains Adult content, viewer discretion is advised. Hopefully you guys don't hate me for this! And Pam, promise to write you back tonight! It's been a crazy week!

_**Heaven Doesn't Seem Far Away**_

_I don't wanna waste the weekend, If you don't love me, pretendA few more hours, then it's time to as my train rolls down the East coast, I wonder how you keep 's too late to cry, too broken to move on._

The end of spring was a blur for Sam and Haley. A mixture of humid warmth, tangled skin, and tender kisses. Once the door to Pandora's box was opened there was no closing it. Once the sweet taste of the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge moistened their palette there was no stopping the hunger for it from returning more insatiable then ever.

Countless unsupervised hours their folly, Sam and Haley took full advantage. Indulging in pleasures of the flesh that connected them in a deeper level then ever before.

The last two months of school Sam and Haley stayed fully focused in class. Always studious, always on task, but back at the motel their idle hands were the devil's playground.

Backpacks slung over their shoulder's they merged through the motel door. Anyone who would have seen them approach wouldn't haven't given a second glance. Their conversation mundane, and school oriented, but as that door closed everything changed.

Slipping the strap to her heavy book filled bag off her shoulder, Haley let it drop to the floor. Turning on her heels to face him as she listened to Sam twist the deadbolt in place.

Her lower lip imprisoned between to her teeth, Haley delivered Sam a coy smile.

The look on her face twisted his gut, it always amazed Sam the way he was powerless to her charms.

As if in slow motion, Sam watched Haley take a step toward him. Letting his bag fall from his shoulder, and hit the floor with a thud, their lips united in a second.

Soft, but pushing for more, Haley's slender fingers rose to the buttons on Sam's flannel shirt, and slowly began to loosen them. "Four more days until Dad and Dean get back." She reminded him in a whisper against his lips in between eager kisses.

The soft texture of her pout was intoxicating, but the way she always came back for more is what melted him like ice in the sun. Sam's blood began to race through his veins as his heart began to pound so loud he almost thought he could hear it.

No will to fight against what he wanted most… _her_. In one swift movement, Sam picked up Haley's weightless body, and charged for the bed.

Giggled erupted with his sudden advance, as her legs wrapped around his waist, and Haley held on for the ride.

Her back slammed against the mattress that easily gave way under the force. Haley's big chocolate eyes blinked open, and found gentle whiskey ones hovering inches away. An untouchable love, and bond that ran deeper then any four walls and a bed passed between their gaze. A shared breath slipped between their mouths before their lips reunited, and the flame was lit.

Haley's delicate hands slipped free from around his neck, and fell for his shirt. Her fingers moving quick with their work as she felt big thick textured palms on the skin of her waist, pushing her shirt up with a quick pace. Both eager for a connection only their skin together brought.

Hours later the pair lie tangled in the weeks old, dirty sheets of the cheap motel they were suppose to call home this week.

Sam's arm snaked under her bare back as it lie flush against the mattress. Much larger in size, his weight rested on his side while most of him still leaned over her.

Their skin slipped together like woven satin, as Haley leisurely ran the bottom the of her foot gently across the hair on his legs.

They could tell from the fading light that outlined the curtains around the window that the day was rapidly dwindling away. They had wasted another day after school lost in each other.

The light on the bedside table fell on their creamy skin as something caught Sam's eye. Discreet thin lines across Haley's bare collarbone, just inches from his orbs. The scars weren't prominent, no one would even notice them, but Sam knew they were there, and from such close range he couldn't miss them.

_Misplaced trust and old friends,Never counting regrets,By the grace of God, I do not rest at New England as the leaves change;The last excuse that I'll claim,I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl._

Glancing up at Haley's radiant face, her eyes still closed lost in bliss, Sam leaned down. With just the tip of his nose at first, he softly nuzzled her scars with love. Hearing her breath grow deeper with his touch, Sam moved further, letting his lips faintly caress the same lines. He felt her fingers loosely slip into his muddy water locks, as quiet murmurs slipped from her lips.

Loving the sounds he could draw from her above any other noise, Sam slowly traveled to the curve of her neck where he could feel the vibration on his lips every time one of those sounds escaped. His moist pout tenderly tasted her skin as he worked his way up to her ear.

Sam's nose traced the outline of her earlobe before his thick husky voice finally spoke. "Tell me what happened that day. Tell me what I don't know." He gently whispered, his heart still needing to know.

Pulling back until he could see her face, Sam found Haley's deep chocolate eyes already open. The look of trepidation told him she knew what he was asking.

His hand reached up to cup her cheek in his palm for reassurance as his thumb delicately stroked her flesh.

Looking into Sam's sensitive whiskey eyes, Haley took a leap of faith. She had never talked about that day, not in detail. Dean knew more then anyone else, but looking into Sammy's eyes, knowing how much he loved her, Haley wanted to grant his request. Licking her lips in preparation, Haley held onto eyes she trusted more then anyone else like a life line to safety, and let him in. "Well you know he didn't pick me at random… I was revenge against our family. For hunting him." Her voice revealed, quiet like a church mouse as her heart pounded like a caged bird trying to get free.

Nodding lightly, Sam had always figured there was no way it could have been chance. Seeing something indescribable, and yet clearly pained fill her pupil as she paused, Sam's heart ached in his chest. She didn't have to say a word for her feelings to seep inside him. Feeling her squirm closer against him as if they could get any closer, Sam gripped her bare back, pulling her tighter against him. Lost in her eyes, he tried to comfort her.

"It's ok. It's just me and you." His moist pout reassured before his lips leaned in, and kissed her mouth tenderly soft. Her kiss in return felt more needy against his lips then the one he delivered.

Giving her what she craved in the kiss, Sam pulled back needing her to finish. It had been almost a year ago, and still the unknowns haunted him.

Their eyes locked as he felt her nod against his hand, before he watched her lips slowly part. "He… He hit me, and cut me. He tore at my cloths, and touched me… He was going to torture me then kill me, Sammy. He told me so, but I think before he did, he was gonna… He wanted to…." Haley's voice died as the suffocating feeling filled her chest, making it hard to breath, as a throbbing stabbed her heart.

Seeing tears well up in her breaking eyes, Sam had heard enough, she had given more then enough. He could already feel it, see it in their connection. The word she wasn't saying.

"Shhh, it's alright, it's alright." Sam soothed in a gentle genuine way that came so naturally from his heart as his thumb softly swept over her cheek.

Sucking a in slow shuttering breath, Haley finally revealed the clincher. "I killed him, Sammy. Not Dean." Her quiet voice faltered at the end with her confession as tears remained in her eyes. Unsure what he would think or think of her.

Looking into her vulnerable eyes, Sam could see the fear of his reaction suspended in her orbs. His thumb grazed her cheek again before his voice spoke up with reassurance.

"It's not your fault. You did what you had to do to survive."

Skin on skin, Sam felt her pain aching into his heart with their connection. Something fierce and deathly protective swept through him knowing something could hurt his girl so badly. Locked with her eyes, Sam made vow. "I'm never going to let anything hurt you like that again." His thick voice promised, seriousness piercing his whiskey eyes as they drilled into Haley's from inches away.

"I know." Haley quietly whispered back, the adamant certainty coming off him was like a powerful wave. Without another word, Haley buried her face against his chest. Burrowing into the safest place she knew. A place that felt most like home, and tangled in only their flesh, it felt all that more right.

Quietly they stayed there, in their own existence. Sam's strong arms holding her tight, safe from the world. Haley buried deep against him, the musk of his scent calming her senses, while the faint traces of his salty skin that brushed her lips quieted her soul.

_A drop in the ocean, A change in the weather,I was praying that you and me might end up 's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,But I'm holding you closer than most,'Cause you are my _

Time passed, and slipped away to the pages of time before finally Haley stirred, as her darkness slipped away in the solace of being near the one who felt like a completion to her soul. The shift in her position, sent Sam's hand slipping from her waist, down along the curve of her bare hip.

A shuttered hitch filled Haley's breath with his touch, in response Sam's deep whiskey eyes quickly turned heated with a wanting to hear her make that sound their eyes found each other, both saw something swelling with desire.

Something that always seemed to surface when they touched. Explosive, like gunpowder and matches. Delicately slow, Sam's hand slipped down the outside of her thigh, the look in her eyes giving him permission to carry on. His palm came to rest on the ball of her knee, leaning against his hip, as her breath began to pick up.

Feeling her warm breath rapid on his face, Sam grew delirious for more. Already feeling the heat inside her slip through their connection to warm him up too as if he wasn't already on fire.

Lightly gripping the inside of her knee, his hand slowly descended between her thighs. Breathy pleasured whimpers began slipping from her lips with his touch. Hearing her cries, seeing that look on her face, it was enough to make Sam completely unravel.

His mouth found hers hungry and urgent for a taste."I love it when you make that noise." He confessed as a deep grunt like noise escaped his mouth against her lips. Kissing her moist and tender once more, Sam pulled back.

Licking his lips as flames began to burn inside. Haley's needy hand gripped his cheek pulling him back in for a kiss as a high pitched squeak escaped her parted lips. Connected like neuron in the brain, Sam could feel Haley's rapid hot breath escaped on his pout, needy and urgent.

Brushing her mouth with his to give her a tease of what she wanted, he felt her tongue slip across his lip for a taste. Sam took one last look at the ecstasy written across her face that could send him over the edge before giving into her. "Sam," Haley murmured quiet and desperate as she clutched for his back, trying to pull him on top of her.

Weaker then ever against her, Sam gave in, kissing her hard and fast on the mouth. His hand slipped free as his hips took it's place, and in a second he's just as lost in the moment as she was.

When they're together Sam unknowingly told Haley things about how he feels for her. It's Sam's hands that tell her he loves her. The gentle soft way his palms caress as if she's made of glass, but it's his hips that tell her he wants her.

Haley couldn't help the cries that slipped from her lips with every movement. Still new to the game they played. But when a hitch of pain filled one of her cries, Sam instantly stopped, went still.

His whiskey puppy dog eye filled with worry as they barreled down on her. Haley could see it in his orbs he was afraid he was breaking her, hurting her. His thick voice came to life asking if she wanted to stop. A smile touched her face with his unselfish caring nature, before Haley's soft kiss answered him, saying without words she was ok, and still wanted this.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no,Heaven doesn't seem far awayRon Pope "Drop in the ocean_

**Note:** Was it too much? Are you blinded? Wishing those Saley thoughts would banish from your mind? Cuz I have other chapters where they're together. Not like this, different, but they're together. If it's too much I don't mind not posting them here. But I will say this, it's not just Saley getting it on for the sake of getting it on... this has a point to the plot. All of it does. Especially in two chapters from now. But you let me know...


	28. Chapter 28

_**Many Miles & Many Tears**_

_Ooh, I want you to stay, Ooh, I want you todayI'm ready for love, Oh baby, I'm ready for loveReady for love, Oh baby, I'm ready for loveYeah, Ohhh, for your love_

Dean entered the _cheap motel_; to his surprise the room was empty of human occupants. Cloths put away, books and school papers lined the table and dresser. Shutting the door behind him, Dean walked around the _dingy room_, wondering if Haley and Sam had already left for school since they weren't expecting him until night.

Reaching the end of the matching dingy queen bed, the sound of the _shower running_ reached Dean's ears over the TV.

Nodding silently, mystery solved half way. Though the shower only explained where one of them was, not the other. Maybe one of them went to get breakfast, he mused.

Sitting on the end of the cheap mattress that deflated under his weight, Dean was going to wait for the bathroom door to open to start asking questions when _something caught his attention_.

Perking Dean's ears instantly, a constant noise he had chalked up to nothing was growing louder. Tuning in, paying attention, this noise was _distinct_ and while Dean had never heard _this rendition_ of the melody, he'd know _the tune_ anywhere. The noise was _rhythmic, human. _

Blood beginning to _heat_ in his veins, Dean rose to his feet; he took steady steps to the bathroom door to investigate. Stopping just in front of it, Dean _listened carefully_, making sure he was hearing what he thought he was. The noise was _feminine,_ that Dean was certain of. The sound had a _pattern, life_. Dean's blood began to _boil_; this sound was _full of pleasure _and _begged for more_. Taking a look around the room with intense eyes, for a moment Dean wondered if he entered _the wrong room,_ but giving it a good once over he knew that wasn't true.

Dean turned back to the door just in time to hear something that _settled all confusion_. The female voice, full of _passion_ called out a name… _Sam_.

The name rattled through Dean's brain. Licking his lips, Dean shook his head trying to hold his _anger in check_. Having heard more than enough, Dean raised his closed fist to the bathroom door, and _banged hard_ on it three times.

"Playtime's over! Get your ass out here!" Dean's rough voice demanded. Letting his brother know he wasn't alone.

The noise in the bathroom _immediately ceased_, the water shut off shortly after, letting Dean know his _point had been made_. Waiting outside the door, _fuming_, Dean could hardly wrap his mind around the fact he had just heard _his baby brother_ _giving it to some girl_, Dean had no idea Sam had _gone that far yet_.

Cringing, Dean ran an agitated hand along his prickly jaw. He didn't want to deal with this. Dean refused to wonder _where Haley was_. Knowing Sam was supposed to be looking after her. Dean refused to consider she could be_ the girl he had just heard._ In a second, he convinced himself she wasn't capable of it.

Hearing _scurrying_ in the small bathroom, Dean stepped back from the door, and took a seat on the end of the nearest bed. Taking a deep breath, Dean _prepared himself_ for the talk he hadn't _planned on_ or _wanted to_ have with Sammy, but Dean knew if he didn't take care of _this problem_ before dad came back, he'd have _his hide_.

Not having to wait long, the bathroom door opened. Steam spilled out as Sam emerged, _naked_ besides the towel at his waist, _hair dripping_. His chest and stomach well toned for a young man of his age, but John's rigorous training had a way of doing that.

Sam nonchalantly acknowledged Dean with a quick nod, then went over to his duffle bag, looking for his cloths, _as if this was no big deal_. Sam was _less than pleased_ Dean had just caught him, but he wasn't about to show him that either. Part of Sam was sick of hiding.

Sam's _laid back attitude only angered_ Dean more. Lip snarling, Dean rose from the bed. "What the hell were you doing in there, Sam?" Dean interrogated with a rough voice, pointed gaze, taking a step closer.

A _humored grin_ covered Sam's face, amused Dean was even trying to play naive, as he turned to face his _big brother_. "What do you think I was doing in there? Isn't that why you interrupted?" Sam _sarcastically_ threw back at Dean, arching his eyebrow. Sick and tried of everyone pretending like he was _some baby_, when this life forced him to live more like a _grown man, _and grow up fast.

Dean's eyes narrowed on Sam, _anger raced through his veins_ toward his younger brother's carefree answer, as if what he had been doing was '_every day stuff_ 'and _not a shock_.

"Where's Haley?" Dean barked out the most _pressing question, _diverting the conversation for a moment.

Sam looked his older brother_ dead in the eyes _with an all knowing stare_,_ as a _satisfied smirk_ filled his lips… But Sam didn't say a word.

Dean's gaze grew fierce, _startled by the implication_. His poised lips jumped to life. "Better not be her in there." Dean warned through a clenched jaw.

As if _on cue_, Sam's eyes diverted to the bathroom door, just as Haley emerged. Dressed in only Sam's oversized tee shirt, Haley's wet hair drenched the shoulders, and neckline of the cotton fabric. _It was undeniable she had been the one Dean heard_.

Dean's face whipped to the movement in a second his face contorted in shock, and outrage with the sight he was _least prepared for_.

The weight of Dean's stare stilled Haley's feet. She was already _beyond nervous_, his gaze _paralyzed_. Big, scared, chocolate eyes looked up at Dean, _her adopted big brother and yet something more_. Her mouth found life, her breath _uncertain_. "Please don't be mad, Dean." Haley begged, her _heart racing_ under his stare. The look in his eye reduced her to sand.

Hot, explosive rage shot through Dean's veins at the sight of their _precious innocent_ Haley looking _tainted_ and _cheap_. Dean completely _lost it_.

Lashing out, he swung _reacting to the moment_. Hitting a lamp, the nearest item, Dean sent it _shattering _against a wall.

"Damnit Sam!" Dean yelled loud and foreboding. Blaming the boy, because after his teenage years, Dean felt certain it had to be Sam's hormones at fault here.

_Walkin' down this rocky road, Wondering where my life is leadin'Rollin' on, to the bitter end, Finding out along the wayWhat it takes to keep love living, You should know, how it feels my friend_

Haley jumped back with the outburst, shocked to silence, her eyes _wide _and _dilated_. She had never seen Dean this mad at them before. As soon as she had heard Dean's voice from outside the bathroom, Haley knew they were in _big trouble_.

Cloths in hand, Sam jumped in front Haley in a second, _shielding her from the rampage_.

"Don't do this. Don't make this a big deal." Sam demanded, his voice _holding strength,_ his gaze _unfaltering_ on his brother. Having shot up like a tree the past three years, Sam was now taller than his older brother, and _felt he was an equal_.

Dean's eyes narrowed on the pair he had thought as of late were suppose to be just _best friends_ not _possible lovers_. Dean's gut _clenched_. Shaking his head, Dean tried to _wrap his mind around_ what his eyes were seeing.

"So what is this normal for you two? A slick and wet in the morning, then off to school like everything's normal?" Dean questioned, this time his voice filled with _condescending_.

Sam _didn't back down_, looking his brother dead in the eyes, he corrected him.

"Don't make it sound cheap like that. I make love to her." Sam's shoulders tightened as his breath grew thickly serious.

A huff escaped Dean's chest, he felt _winded and dazed_. The drive here the thought never crossed Dean's mind he'd come home to find _the kids in the shower… together_! He had felt so certain they were going to wait before doing anything this stupid.

Getting a _second wind_, Dean rained down the lecture. "You're seventeen now, Sam. I can't say I'm surprised your having sex, but Haley!" Dean shouted, the sight of _his baby brother_ before him, knowing his _innocence_ had been _lost_ along the road too, broke Dean's heart.

Walking over to the bed, Sam dropped his cloths _dramatically_ from his hands. Grabbing his shirt, Sam threw it over his head. Turning to Dean, _anger pooled_ in Sam's pupil as he unleashed his resentment. "Don't give me that! None of us are kids here, _we never have been_! You and dad leave us alone for weeks while you hunt and get drunk. Look at our roles models, Dean! _What did you think we'd do with all this time alone_?" Sam shouted back, raising his voice. Pulling boxers on underneath his towel, Sam angrily threw the terry cloth from his waist. Sam was pissed Dean was trying to _play ignorant_.

Dean's eyebrows furrowed tight, he was _furious,_ but listening to Sam's words his anger also _directed inward_. Running an agitated hand down his face, Dean gave Sam a reality check.

"What about Haley? She's only sixteen, Sam! Did you think about that? You're supposed to _take care of her, not screw her_!" Dean yelled with _heated eyes_, his arm out stretched pointing at Haley, trembling at the far end of the room. Arm _shaking with adrenaline_, Dean was _blinded by rage_. He could barely handle Sam's choice, but dragging Haley into it, _untouchable Haley_, Dean _was livid_.

"Dean," Haley started with a shaking voice, but Sam cut in.

Sam's nostrils _flared_, gaze _narrowing_, Dean had finally crossed the line. Sam couldn't believe his brother would insinuate he'd use Haley for anything. His insult cut under the skin, Sam shot back.

"I take care of her! I'm the only one taking care of her here! So don't give me that! How dare you say I'd make Haley do anything she didn't want to! Face it Dean, _you heard her_, she likes it, and she wants me just as much as I do her …" Ranting, Sam was just about finish with the fact that they weren't children anymore, but Dean didn't let him.

As soon as Dean heard Sam start talking about _him hearing_ what Haley likes, _Dean completely lost it again_. He _charged blindly_ at Sam, _lost in the moment_. Grabbing hold of his younger brother, Dean _slammed_ _him hard_ against the wall. Handfuls of his shirt, Dean held Sam steady, as he fumed inches from his face.

"Don't you talk about her like that! Don't you say that!" He ordered, _harsh voice_, _intense eyes_ that didn't waver, as his grip never lessoned on Sam.

Chest heaving from the assault, Sam _stared his stronger, older brother dead on_. Out weighed, still he didn't give in.

Haley had kept quiet, letting them have their feud, but this took it _too far_. Letting out a scream with the _rapid assault_, Haley raced to their side in a second. Trying to get in between them, and pull Dean off Sam. Haley's eyes shot to Dean pleading but fierce.

"Stop it! Dean, let him go!" Tears brimming her eyes, Haley tried to _hold herself together_. She had never seen them _go at each other like this_.

Haley's scared voice brought on a _lucid moment_. Looking at his younger, but taller brother _gripped by his force_; Dean released him instantly, and stepped back.

Unsure how to fix this mess, a stunned Dean stumbled to the end of a bed, and sat down.

Haley reached his side in seconds, standing in front of him; Haley's big chocolate eyes found Dean's green pair. She noted the _overwhelmed absence_ in his gaze, as she tried to explain. "I'm sorry Dean. We tried to wait, I promise. Please try to understand. I'm not a little girl anymore." Haley started.

Instantly Dean wrapped _his big strong hands_ around her face, cupping her cheeks.

"Yes you are, Hales. You're too young." Sadness filled his iris, as he stared upon _the angel_ he had always seen as _a baby until this moment_. Standing in front of him, covered in Sam's shirt, _the implication of her actions_ filled Dean's soul, and made him shutter. At this rate she'd end up as fucked up as they were… _if not more_. _He wanted better for her._

Staring into the eyes of the man _she loved and called her family, _Haley begged Dean to understand. "He's my best friend, Dean. I love him. This isn't going to ruin anything. So please don't make this uglier than it already is." Honesty shown in her eyes, _Haley pleaded for Dean's pardon_.

Watching her _soft delicate_ face, _big innocent_ eyes, Dean wondered how _the sweet little girl_ he had always looked after _could desire anything_… Let alone _Sammy_.

His heart twisted with her words; best friend, love. Gut punched, Dean wasn't sure Haley even _understood the difference_. Or if she just gave her body to Sam, because he was _her best friend_.

She wasn't asking for _his permission,_ but she was asking that _he didn't condemn them_.

Emotion filled his chest; Dean didn't know how to deal with this real, sticky stuff, but thinking about it now he knew it made sense. Two teens of the opposite sex should never have been _allowed unsupervised living_. Releasing her cheeks, Dean needed time to think this over.

Rising from the bed, He went for the door, leaving a parting message. "I need a drink. I'll be back in a few hours. Wait here" He muttered, absently.

_Now I'm on my feet again, Better things are bound to happenAll my dues, surely must be paid\, Many miles and many tearsTimes were hard but now they're changing, You should know that I'm not afraid_

"_Ready For Love" Bad Company_

**Note: **I'm going out of town for a week but wanted to leave this first. Also I really don't want it to seem like Dean cares more about Haley then Sam. Dean blamed Sam, because based on his own past history with women and getting laid, Dean assumed Sam too was the one responsible and pushing Haley into it. But everything comes out next chapter. Oh and did you think I captured Dean? Did it seem like Dean or too much?


	29. Chapter 29

_She Grew Up Tall & She Grew Up Right_

_She grew up in an Indiana townHad a good-lookin' mama who never was aroundBut she grew up tall and she grew up rightWith them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights_

Hours later Sam and Haley sat like two kids in the corner upon a bed. They had managed to appropriately redress, and had plenty of time to sit and stew in their own pot. Now that he had time to think on it and not react in the moment, Sam felt terrible for some of the things he had said to his brother, while others he still stood be whole heartedly. Haley on the other hand was humiliated Dean had heard her, that it had become public knowledge. Even though she wanted him to see her for the young woman she was becoming, part of her still liked being his baby girl. The look on Dean's face just before he left haunted her mind. As if stuck on repeat in her skull, torturing her. He had looked genuinely hurt, and mind blown by her revelation.

Dean returned in much better spirits then the one he left in. Whiskey always a reliable friend and mood setter. He swaggered on a looser step over to the opposite bed they were on, and took a heavy seat. With a silly grin on his face, Dean handed Haley a roll of quarters, and sent her on half the laundry duty at the laundry mat at the motel while he had a brotherly talk with Sam first.

Normally Haley would try it weasel her way out of such a boring chore, but today she didn't argue. She silently took the quarters. Avoiding Dean's eyes, she grabbed the laundry, and headed on her way.

Dean waited until Haley left before his glossy emerald eyes landed on his little brother. A sloppy smile found his buzzed face. "I've had a little to drink incase you can't tell. I'm in a much better mood. So we're going to sweep out all the bullshit you and Haley have been hiding, and your going to tell me what the hell's really been going on." Dean laid it all out there as pleasantly as it could be done considering whiskey was calming his nerves.

Still avoiding his big brothers eyes a little, Sam let out a heavy breath with apprehension, but nodded in agreement.

"Good," Dean nodded back, his head shaking more then it normally would from the free flowing buzz. "How long you two been going at it?" No delicate terms, no beating around the bush, Dean jumped right in, and expected his brother to not be surprised by his lack of tactfulness by now.

Sam stayed silently for a minute. His jumping eyes darted around the room, just missing Dean. Now that the heat of the moment had passed this seemed a little weirder to be talking about with Dean then he had expected. "About fives months." Sam admitted honestly on a quiet breath, big hands wringing nervously in his lap.

A huff left Dean's chest with the surprise of Sam's answer as his smile dropped.

"Oh you two are good. Sneakier then I'd have ever given you credit for. And hell, you lied to me about it out right." Dean mused against the unnerved feeling settling inside him. Thanking his drinking God's the whiskey was smoothing out this blow of knowledge. Still shocked to learn his baby brother wasn't such a baby after all anymore.

Sam's puppy dog eyes finally lifted and met his brothers emerald pair, burdened by the fact that Dean knew he had lied to him. Sam valued his and Dean's relationship. It was right up there with Haley, just in a different way. They rarely lied before this.

"Dean, I didn't want to lie to you. I just knew you wouldn't have understood. I was afraid you'd try and take her away like dad… still am." He was honest with the big heart of his that cared so much. Nerves fluttered just under his skin. Sam still wasn't sure what Dean would do now that he knew. He wasn't sure yet if Dean would try to keep them separated.

Dean nodded accepting his answer, even though he still couldn't believe they had lied to him for so long. Dean prided himself on being able to smell bullshit. He couldn't believe it had gone under his radar it for so long. "Who's idea was it?" Dean moved right along. Trying not to get anymore details on his little brothers sex life then he needed. Dean would always protect Sam, and that's what this talk was about, but he didn't want any graphic full frontal details either.

Shoulder's shrugging, Sam answered easily, the easiest answer he had to give yet. "It was mutual."

A hearty chuckle left Dean then. Amused and disbelieving of Sam's answer. "That's crap, Sam. See when people say that it means one of them really wanted to, and the other went along for the ride. So what your telling me is it was your idea." Certainty solid on his deep breath. Dean had figured all along it was Sam's idea. What teenage boy doesn't want to get laid.

Sam shook his slightly, his shaggy hair shifted as his breath came out low and quiet.

"It wasn't my idea." Not wanting to place blame anywhere, Sam kept his answer quiet, but if Dean insisted one name it was Haley who started that night, there was no denying that.

Emerald eyes narrowed in on his little brother with intrigue as the muffled mumbled reached his ears, but lacked actual words. "What?" Dean questioned him for clarity.

Sam's eyes darted away from Dean, as he answered again, a little louder this time.

"No, Haley made the first move…. But I wanted to… So like I said, it was mutual." Sam explained himself further. Not wanting to place any blame on Haley, because he truly did see it as a decision they made together, but he wasn't going to play along as Dean tried to make her out to be the innocent little thing he thought she was. Haley had many dimensions, Sam knew that best.

"Your lying." Dean shot out on first response as his eyes pinned Sam. Hours ago Dean had found out Haley not only could have sex, but could apparently verbalize her enjoyment of it too. Two facts that if anyone had told Dean twenty-four hours ago he would have adamantly denied were possible, and probably would have earned a punch to the face. Now he's hearing she was the one who wanted to have sex first, Dean wasn't sure who his baby girl was anymore.

Sam's soft whiskey eyes found Dean briefly before they dropped to his lap. "Fine, I'm lying." He conceded with a lack of conviction on his breath. If Dean couldn't handle the truth Sam didn't mind taking the blame. In some ways it seemed like no matter what Sam said Dean would never see Haley for who she was, but that wasn't a battle worth fighting Dean over.

"Sammy," Dean called to his brother, reaching out, recognizing instantly he had pushed him away with his impulsive response. Waiting until his little brothers whiskey eyes lifted to meet his, Dean spoke again with more understanding. "Was it really her idea?"

Holding his big brothers eyes, his hero, the guy he had been watching and emulating since he could remember, Sam nodded. "Yeah, but I wanted to… I love her, Dean."

Dean tried to restrain the cringed that wanted to overtake this face with his brothers confession. Knowing Haley had initiated it, and that Sam was in love with her complicated their living situation far worse then he would have liked. It wasn't that Dean wasn't happy for Sammy, that he had found love. It just worried how this could play out with them all living in such close quarters.

Brushing over two truths Dean wasn't sure how to deal with he moved onto the biggest fear looming question in the back of his mind. "Are you being safe Sam?" Watching Sam stare at him blankly for a moment, Dean thought that meant he didn't understand the question and rephrased. "Are you using protection?" Dean attempted to explain himself in laymen terms

Quickly Sam answered, a little bit of edge to his voice. His urge for teenage sarcasm shining through. "I knew what you meant, Dean. I'm not an idiot."

"So?" Dean pressed with a thick furrowed brow as he rose from the bed to grab a bottle of water. His eyes following Sam as he moved, waiting on his answer.

Fidgeting where he sat, Sam already knew what Dean was going to say when he found out. That's why he hadn't answered him on his first try. "Most of the time." Sam answered low on his breath, and waited for his brother to explode.

_Well, I don't know, but I've been toldYou never slow down, you never grow oldI'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going downTired of myself, tired of this town_

As the words filtered through his brain, and he processed the meaning Dean's eyes bulged from his skull as he practically lost his footing. "Most of the time!" Dean hollered on his deep foreboding breath with alarm. His heart beginning to race with the stunning blow of Sam's revelation as he practically fell back onto his seat on the bed

Quickly Sam tried to cover, his words rambling and fast paced. "We don't always have something, but when we don't I always pull out. I never… you know," His eyebrows danced for emphasis. "…in her.

"What the hell, Sam! Are you out of your mind!" Dean exploded as he felt those hot embers reignited in his veins, his tongue too tied to respond any other way. "You have to be smart about this Sam! There's diseases.." He shot off with the first danger that crossed his mind, but Sam cut him off with an answer for that.

"We've only been with each other." Sam reminded him, pointing out the likelihood of diseases passing between them would be slim to none.

"You could get her pregnant!" Dean yelled with a heated pinning gaze, his voice over shadowing Sam's, silencing him as Dean rained down a reality check. "Dad would kill you, Sam! You could ruin your life and hers! I'm looking out for you Sammy. You're my crazy ass little brother, but you have to be smart about this!" Dean fumed from his lips, the liquor having dissolve from his system with Sam's revelation that left him feeling bone sober, and barely prepared for this.

Rising from the bed, Dean made it over to his duffle bag before rummaging through. Finding a string of condoms he gripped them in his palm. Charging back to Sam, Dean threw them in his little brother's lap. "You need condoms, just take them. There always in my bag, but use them, Sam! Every time!" Dean hollered, his attempts to play the nice older brother disappeared as he realized Sam was involved in the stupidest thing he had ever done.

Grabbing them, Sam shoved them in his pocket, and nodded while still sheepishly avoiding his big brothers glaring gaze. It wasn't like he and Haley wanted to be risky, it just happened. "I will. I don't want her to get hurt because of me." Sam promised quietly like a child, this time he meant every word. He wanted to protect Haley. He didn't wanted to put her at risk, because of him. That's why he always pulled out, even though he knew that still left room for error. Sam would never forgive himself if he got her in trouble. Maybe someday, but not until they were ready, and that was no where near today.

Taking a heavy seat on the edge of the bed, Dean bowed his head, and ran tension thick fingers through his hair trying to let off steam. A twisted thought hit him, Dean's mind always tends to wander. It relaxed his muscles as it brought a huffed laugh out of his throat.

"What?" Sam dared to question, surprised by his brothers suddenly change in mood.

Dean's face lifted to meet Sam's, a dopey grin painted across. "Sammy, I think this is probably the closest you've ever come to being a boy. Who'd have thought when the hormones kicked in you'd end up like me." Dean pointed out a chuckle.

Sam couldn't help the laugh that escaped. While he wasn't promiscuous like Dean, there was no denying how badly he wanted Haley. Apparently it was a Winchester trait.

Clearly this throat it was Sam's turn to ask a pivotal question that could change it all. "Dean, I know this isn't exactly on your Christmas list, but now that you know what are you going to do?" Sam eyed his brother, trying to appear strong like him, but inside his nerves rattled with his big brothers impending answer.

Dean's piercing emerald eyes held Sam's gaze for a moment, contemplating his brothers question, seeing in his eyes how much this meant to him. Letting out a heavy sigh, Dean finally answered. "Nothing, as long as your safe, and I mean every time, Sam. No exceptions, and you don't get caught by dad. I'm not going to do anything. I get the feeling it wouldn't do much good if I tired anyway, but no more lying." Dean admitted his compliance. This situation didn't thrill him, but he knew if he tried to stop them they'd probably just lie about it again, and he didn't want that either.

Sam nodded calmly while inside thrilled to the brink. "Sounds like a fair deal."

"Your damn right it is." Dean shot back sarcastically in a way no one did better. Putting an end to an oh so thrilling brotherly talk.

Haley sat nervously on the opposite bed across from Dean. Sam had met her in the laundry room, telling her it was her turn to talk, his to wash. Something pensive in his eyes as he spoke sent knots of anxiety in her belly. She knew this talk would be anything but pleasant, and sitting across from Dean now, the way his eyes evaded hers told her, her hunch was right.

Haley didn't say a word as her hands nervously fidgeted in her lap, waiting for him to speak.

His eyes finally lifted to her, and stole the breath from her lips as his gaze pinned her in place. His lips didn't say a word. He just stared at her, but the look in his eyes said it all. He saw her differently, as if he was looking at her for the first time, as if she was a stranger.

_Well, she moved down here at the age of eighteenShe blew the boys away, was more than they'd seenI was introduced and we both started groovin'I said, "I dig you baby, but I got to keep movin' on"Keep movin' on_

Dean's emerald eyes locked on Haley, and with her image now he could see a veil lifting. He finally began to see her for what she was. A young woman, not a little girl. Someone capable of urges, and desires, and acting on them. Glancing briefly over her body before returning to her eyes. It was as if he finally realize she had shape, a figure, all the right working parts. The innocence in her eyes still shined so bright, but in that moment he wondered if it was a façade or just an optical illusion.

Feeling the weight of his scrutinizing stare, Haley hung onto his eyes until she couldn't bare the difference in his look a moment longer, and her gaze dropped her hands that trembled with remorse.

Watching her cower against his gaze, Dean snapped out of his haze, and forced his tongue to life. Saying things he never wanted to say to her. "Was it your idea to start sleeping together?" Dean's words came out direct and unfaltering, but this time his gaze couldn't look at her. The words harder then he expected they would be to say.

A heavy breath could be heard leaving her, but Haley didn't say a word. Tapping her fingers, she wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. The fear of disappointing Dean further was crippling.

"I already know, Haley." Direct, Dean let her know her answer wasn't going to be a surprise, but he needed her to confirm it.

Quiet like a church mouse her voice picked up with the answer he had requested so honestly from her. "Yeah, it was my idea."

Dean's eyes shot up to her, her answer stinging in his heart. "Why? You promised me you'd try to wait. I thought that meant something." He spoke from the heart, because she was girl, and had a way of pulling that organ from him.

Finally Haley's big saddened chocolate eyes slowly rose to meet his. A shuttered sigh escaped from her parted lips as she tried not to cry. "It did mean something, and I planned to, I did. But then I had my run in with the shifter, and my dad died. Everything was falling apart. I felt so empty inside. I needed Sam." Her breath was thick with emotion, but Haley managed to keep her dewy eyes from crying as she made a confession that broke her heart, and brought up old wounds that had never quite healed right.

Brow furrowing tightly together, Dean's eyes narrowed on her as he tried to understand, but it wasn't making sense, not completely. Or maybe he just didn't like her answer. Maybe it reminded him too much someone else, himself. "I know it's been a shitty year, and I'm sorry baby girl. I'm trying to understand here, but are you saying you needed to sleep with him?" Dean questioned with empathy, and a twinge of something confused on his breath.

Holding Dean's eyes for a moment, Haley could feel the holes still inside her. The ones she hide from her family, and desperately tried to convince herself were healed up. Holes she filled with Sam, because they loved each other so much that he was the only one that could dull the pain when it really throbbed. "I needed him. All of him. He's my best friend and I love him." Haley was brutally honest in a way she would only be with Dean or Sam. Trying to give Dean the best truth she could offer.

Dean's eyes squinted against her answer. There it was again, two words that didn't actually go together, but she used them as if they did. He needed her to explain herself. Explain what she meant, because leaving it in the context that she delivered with so much heart unnerved him to the bone, and terrified him that somewhere along the way he had screwed up, and she really didn't know the difference. "We're friends, and I know you need me, would you be with me?" He bluntly shot off turning the tables on her.

"What? …No!" Haley stammered with shocked dilated chocolate orbs. His question had her quickly rising from the bed not sure where she going, but suddenly felt the urge to go somewhere far away from him with his question that made her squirm.

Jumping up from the opposite bed, Dean caught her. Bracing her shoulders, his penetrating emerald eyes softened their intensity as they rained down on her. "I'm not coming onto you, Hales. We both know we're not like that. I'm just trying to see if you understand that friends don't sleep together. Not even best ones." He explained the motives behind his previous question trying to quiet down the alarm in her eyes as they shot up on him.

He watched her throat bob as she swallowed hard before he spoke again. "Haley are you just sleeping with Sam because he's your best friend, and you think you need to?" Dean's question was brutally honest, his eyes were an open book as they hung on her waiting for this pivotal answer.

Easily her head shook lightly as all trepidation slipped from her eyes. "No, I mean he is my best friend, but that's not why I sleep with him. I love him, Dean. Even when we're not kissing, or touching, or doing anything at all. It's who he is that I love." She laid her heart out there for the only guy she felt she could be one-hundred percent honest with besides Sam. She knew this situation freaked him out without him needing to say it, but she also had faith in him. That his love for them that she knew was bountiful could come to terms with Sam and her even if it wasn't what he wanted.

Dean could see the honesty in her eyes, it was undeniable and couldn't be faked. He'd be lying if he said knowing the kids were in love with each other didn't worry him. The endless lists of how that could end in one mega watt disaster were flooding his mind, but at the same time he finally saw something else. How happy they were together, and their happiness was never something Dean would want to take from either of them. It meant more to him then his own any day.

"So there's no chance of changing your mind on this? Getting you to wait a little while longer?" Dean already knew the answer. He could see it in her eyes, but he loved them enough to try.

Staring up at Dean a sad smile touched her face. She hated disappointing him, but now that the truth was out she didn't want to lie anymore either. "There's no going back now." Haley admitted quietly with a shake to her head.

Dean nodded with acceptance even if it wasn't the answer of his dreams.

Looking up into Dean's burdened emerald eyes Haley dared to push her luck, and ask him a question in return. "Are you going to tell dad?" The nervous vulnerability shining brightly in her eyes as they gaze up at him.

"I should," Dean answered on first response, but the fear that swelled in her eyes brought him back down to earth. "But I'm not going to." With his answer he felt a sigh of relief escape her lips, and hit his neck. "I'll tell you what I told Sammy. As long as you two are safe every time, and you don't get yourselves caught by dad, I'm not going to say anything." Dean had strong loyal ties to his father, deep ones, but he also had them with the kids too. It was his responsibility to look after them, and that's what he was doing without ratting them out at the same time.

As his answer left his lips, Haley feverishly nodded her head in agreement, and dove against him for a tight hug of thanks. If she thought it was bad when Dean found out about her and Sam, dad would make Dean look like a dust devil in a field of tornado's. "Thank you, Dean!" She proclaimed with every pounding beat of her heart.

Wrapping his arms around her in return, Dean softly stroked the back of her silky soft hair until she finally pulled back. A shining smile on her face as she looked up at him.

"Guess you're too old to be my baby girl now." Dean questioned rhetorically with a silent urge for an answer as his rough palm gently cupped her soft cheek.

Haley shook her head in disagreement as her big smile grew. "Never too old. Besides, I like it. It makes me feel special." She beamed, reassuring him she was still his baby girl, and wanted to be.

Gazing down at her Dean saw it. That blinding innocence in her eyes, and he finally realized even though she was evolving, transforming before his eyes that innocence to her gaze was still true. It wasn't a façade or mask as he had worried. It was just part of her, and maybe it would always be. No matter how old she got, or what she did in between.

"Alright short bus, you can keep your name." He teased her like a good big brother would as his hand slipped from her cheek to tickle the back of her neck.

Swatting his side in retribution, Haley squirmed from his grasp, and offered him a smile. As their eyes met they could both see the calming reassurance that this crisis hadn't torn them all apart the way they had feared it might. Once again the Winchester's beat the odds, and came out on top.

_Last dance with Mary JaneOne more time to kill the painI feel summer creepin' inAnd I'm tired of this town again_

"Last Dance With Mary" Tom Petty

**Note:** This doesn't mean Sam and Haley never used protection. What I was trying to show is something I see happen with alot of people who have sex. When they have something they use it, but if they don't have something they still have sex, and depend on an alternate method of protection. In Sam and Haley's case the good old fashioned "Pull out Method" (If you don't know what that is don't ask me, because it just means your too young to be reading this) Problem is though, those are not actual forms of birth control, not really. So there was my point... Adding a little realism to Sam and Haley... Oh and Use Protection.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Breathe Out So I Can Breathe You In**_

_Come down and waste away with me,Down with me,_

_Slow how you wanted it to beI'm over my head, Out of her head she sang_

Young love is magical like fireflies dancing in a night filled meadow, like the first quiet snow fall of the season. It changes everything in the lives it touches. It makes the heart race as if it could explode. It fills the belly with fluttering butterfly wings. It makes the mind delirious with thoughts of the other. Every look, every touch, every kiss feels like soaring high in the heavens. So high you never want to come back down. That's how Sam and Haley felt the beginning of that summer in Orlando. Bewitched by each other. Spellbound, intoxicated, mesmerized by each other, and in the long quiet hours they got to spend alone those feeling never felt freer to show. They spent almost every moment together, but the feelings never grew old. They had something special, and even in their tender life learning age they both knew it.

Homework wasn't just something they received at school. While Dean was on a road trip, five states, five days, and Dad was hunting a banshee, the kids had a list of lessons to learn, material to read, weapons to practice. Dad had even let them go out with him a few times, but never for anything that could put them in one on one contact with the creature. At least not while Haley was around, not after what happened with the shifter.

Today's lesson was on Latin exorcisms. Something they'd never be taught in a real classroom. Something their peers on summer break would never learn, but it was something a Winchester had to be able to translate on a minutes notice.

The old worn book that had been in many hands over the centuries was now held by a small delicate pair. Was gazed upon by big honey colored eyes as Haley waited for Sam to recite the next line.

His lips held mute in a moment on contemplation as he nibbled at his lower lip. Confidant in his answer, Sam let the ancient language fall from his lips as it played in his brilliant mind. His sensitive whiskey eyes suspended on the beauty of her image waiting for her verdict, and the way a smile twitching on her lips could make his heart skip a beat.

Haley eyed him curiously for a moment, making him squirm with suspense before giving her answer. "Nope," She said simply.

His brow knitted tightly together with surprise, Sam was positive he got it right. Studious and perfectionist by nature he wouldn't have given an answer if he wasn't sure, but it was the spark of mischief in her eyes that really told him he had been right.

"Let me see that." He tested her, reaching out for the book held in her hands, the answer hidden behind her eyes.

Pulling the book from out of his reach, Haley's deceiving grin grew ten-fold.

"What you don't believe me?" She teased. Knowing full well he was onto her little game.

"Not a chance." Sam shot back, his own playful charming smile filling his face. When Haley continued to let the book evade his grasp, Sam tried another tactic. Dropping his hands to her sides, Sam's fingers quickly went to work mercilessly tickling the spots he knew full well were her weakness.

A squeal erupted from her lips as Haley squirmed against his attack. Laughter flaring her nostrils, her butt jumped off the carpet before she went tumbling full bodied onto the floor.

Never missing a beat, Sam followed. Leaning on his knees as he towered over her. His hands never loosing their rampage as she screamed, and withered on the floor.

Spotting a charm flying loosing around her neck, Sam felt his heart race with the sight of it. His hands finally stilled with their assault, letting her catch her breath as he gazed down upon her in amazement of the magic she was.

Falling beside her on the shaggy, puke orange carpet, Sam rolled onto his side where he could gaze into her eyes, and feel her warm breath splash his face. Reaching out, his hand delicately fingered the charm hanging loosely around her neck. "Do you still like it?" Sam questioned her as his soft whiskey eyes shot up to meet her big honey ones.

Gazing into his eyes, eyes that felt like home, and a piece of her all at the same time, Haley smiled softly in response. "Always, it means we're always together. You know I never take it off." She answered quietly as her gentle voice floated between them. Haley adored the necklace Sam had given her long ago, before they were ever anything besides best friends. It was her most prized possession. That simple metal charm told Haley without words that Sam was always looking out for her, that a piece of him was always with her.

Sam eyed her stunning face as his hand dropped the charm, and rose to her soft supple cheek. "Hales, are you mine?" Sam finally dared to ask. With everything between them, everything they shared, and all the time they spent together, Sam had never asked. It never seemed necessary. It never seemed like it proved anything his heart wasn't already sure of, but today, looking at her beautiful face, Sam suddenly wanted to know.

Gazing into his eyes as her heart pounded against the sensitive loving look in his pupil, and the special way it could make her feel inside. Haley thought the answer was so obvious, as if there could have ever been a doubt. The sweetest, heartwarming smile light up her face as Haley never left his gaze, but leaned her cheek deeper into his palm, relishing the touch. "Sammy, I've always been yours." She whispered with an angel's breath, full of honesty and complete conviction.

As her answer reached him, Sam could feel it tingling inside. That indescribable sensation of her taking hold of him wash over as if she held him in the palm on her hand, and not the other way around. No one had ever had this kind of power over him, and looking into her breathtaking eyes he never wanted anyone else but her to.

Stroking her cheek softly with his thumb, Sam knew what she was saying, but he still wasn't sure it answered his question. "But are you my girl?" Something vulnerable pierced already gentle whiskey eyes as his lips asked for it all.

Her smile never subsided, as she slowly snuggled closer to him. Banishing the few inches of distance between them. Still lost on his dewy sensitive eyes that were undeniably locked on her, and only her, Haley brushed the tip of her nose with his in an Eskimo kiss. Seeing a smile twitch at the corners of his lips in response, Haley leaned in, and tenderly captured his lips in her own. Their kiss was soft like the way they took care of each other. It was loving like the way their hearts beat for one another, and it stirred their secret connection that stood as proof they were two of a kind, soul mates.

Slowly breaking the embrace their lips thought was heaven, Haley pulled back just enough to catch his eyes once again. As the kindest whiskey eyes she had ever seen found her honey brown, Haley gave him her answer that said more then words ever could. A gentle, but truly genuine and heartfelt smile lifted the corners of her mouth as Haley nodded. Saying she was his, and only his, and she wouldn't dream of being anyone else's.

He was her home, her comfort zone, no one else could reach her so deep. Sam could hardly contain the feelings that surged inside him. Knowing she wasn't just his best friend, his partner in crime, or his soul mate. She was his, truly his.

The explosion inside him was like fireworks and shooting stars combined, and it screamed to be released as Sam lunged forward at her. Claiming her lips as the greatest prize his mind could fathom. The force of his attack sent Haley falling back onto her back in the loose thread carpet. His weight leaned atop her as her fingers tangled in the loose soft locks at the back of his neck. Sam's soft lips moved overjoyed and urgent to show her how much she meant to him. The excitement sent their connection on fire as Haley felt Sam's pounding heart inside her ribs as if it were her own. Kissing her lips feverishly but tender, Sam could feel her breath picking up speed as if every breath came from his own lungs.

Her skin felt warm as Sam's hands slipped under the base of her shirt needing to feel more of her. His lips traveled her law line on a journey for her neck. Wanting to take her to heaven, and feel it rush in his veins through their connection when he did.

Sam's mouth felt delirious just under her ear, moist, tender, and hot, but Haley didn't want the beauty of the moment to become another excuse to take their cloths off. Not this moment, it felt too special.

Reaching her fingers under his loose hanging shirt, Haley found his taunt warm stomach. Feeling the urge to whimper chocking in her throat as Sam's tender pout found the sensitive spot on her neck, Haley attacked.

Her fingers moved quick to tickle his sides, getting him just where she knew he'd squirm.

Sam flew up and off her in a second, something mischievous and playful filling his eyes against her attack. "Oh you are so gonna get it." He warned her as if her punishment would be something more then tickles and more kisses.

Jumping to her feet a wicked smile eclipsed Haley's face, and shined down for him to see as she raced to the other side of the room. "But you'll have to catch me first." She teased as her hair bounced loosely around her, and her smile stole the breath from his lips.

Staring at her for a moment, mesmerized by the beauty of her body and soul, Sam wondered how he ever got so lucky. The moment only lasted just as long as a moment does, before Sam jumped to feet, and took off after her ready to make her pay in the best of ways.

John's appeared unexpectedly in the doorway then. Catching sight of the kids chasing each other around the room. Standing silently, he watched them for a moment of parental contemplation. Seeing Haley get cornered against a wall before Sam flashed her a triumphant smile, and readied to charge. Clearing his throat, John made his presence known. "What are you up to?" His burly voice shout out accusingly. Noting their assigned book still discarded on the floor, he could see they had been studying before becoming distracted. John hadn't seen anything between them lately that felt more then friendship, and he felt certain Dean would tell him if something was going on, but as their father he questioned just the same.

Startled with his sudden appearance, Haley jumped with fright before laughter burst loudly from her with the realization it was just dad. "Sam thought he could catch me Dad, but he was wrong." Haley mused through laughter to John before teasingly sticking her tongue out at Sam.

Sam stood sullen and silent, not sharing the same excited Haley held to seeing dad. His relationship with his dad had always been tense, but when it came it Haley, Sam was down right resentful toward John, and the way he felt force to hide how he truly felt for her.

Nodding with acceptance to her answer that seemed nothing less then honest, John motioned them for the door. "Got a lead on the banshee. Let's go." He ordered before heading for the car.

Quickly the fun disappeared as Sam grabbed his trusty knife, while Haley gathered her pocket side pouch of salt, and followed suit for the door.

_And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real foreverIf anything could ever be this good againThe only thing I'll ever ask of youYou've got to promise not to stop when I say when_

"_Everlong" The Foo Fighter_


	31. Chapter 31

**Before Note: **This chapter is most important to show the mind set of where Haley is at and what she's dealing with. While I love writing fluffy chapters like the last, I find chapters like this one more important because it gives you a deeper understanding of the character's.

_**The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life**_

_If I die young bury me in satin, Lay me down on a bed of rose, Sink me in the river at dawn, Send me away with the words of a love song_

Haley had looked tragedy in the eye, and overcome. She had lost a vital piece of who she was, and rebuilt. Stood on the edge of a cliff that held endless black abyss just beyond it's edge, and managed to step back. She knows she couldn't have come back without her boys. Like a bungee chord they had pulled her back into the land of the living. But sometimes for any small reason the lethal emptiness returned. Taunting and stinging that it had never really gone away. That she had merely masked it, hidden it deep inside, but that it would always be there. Be a part of who she is now, and at any given moment it could surface, and threaten to swallow her whole all over again.

Georgia was humidly hot this time of season. It left the skin perpetually moist, the air thick to breathe. When the Winchesters rolled into another seedy motel for dad and Dean's latest job with a possible shadow man, the first thing on the kids minds was the blue watered pool in the motel's lot. The only hope of relief in a smelly cheap motel with air conditioning that barely shot past the first foot of the room.

After they settled in, spent the day researching, and chatting it up with locals the job was finally done for the day. John had given his kids a smile well done before taking his trusty Jim Bean, and heading back to his room for more research, and drinks until he eventually passed out. A nightly ritual for the patriarch of the Winchester clan.

After getting Dean's permission Sam and Haley were elated at the opportunity to get a taste of that pool that had been calling their name all day.

Sam was changing into his swim shorts in the bathroom while Haley rummaged through her duffle bag trying to find her swim suit that rarely saw use. Digging deep through cloths, and books something lightly nicked her finger. Small like a paper cut. Snatching the forsaken object, Haley pulled it from her bag for a better look. As her inquisitive honey eyes landed on the picture in her hand, suddenly the sting it had caused made perfect sense.

Gripped by her hand that began to tremble with the sight of it, Haley's eyes drowned on an old picture. A picture of her and her dad from better days a life time ago. Staring at it mesmerized, her heart began to race as emptiness ripped open in her chest. Unable to move despite the desperate urge screaming inside her to hide it back away, Haley stared lost, heart stinging as tears threatened to fill her eyes. No matter how badly she tried to convince herself she had gotten past her fathers death the truth was she hadn't, and never would. The thought of him, the memories, they all still stripped her to the bone, and left her lost, and wondering who she really was. His loss left her wounded, and deformed in places she hid from the ones she loved.

"What's that?" Sam asked, curiosity thick on his breath as he appeared suddenly behind her.

His ever deepening, but gentle voice snapped her out of her drowning haze as Haley instantly shoved the picture back deep and irretrievable in the bag. As if banishing the cursed object like the torturous thing it was.

Rising quickly to her feet, Haley brushed him off as she fought to ignore the ever growing empty pit surfacing inside her gut. While she pushed down the tears demanding to form. "Nothing," She lied on a quick breath, and scurried for the bathroom to change before he could press any further. Haley didn't want to talk about her dad, not even with Sam. Most days she just wanted to forget. Forget she ever had another life, because that was easier, and less painful then remembering ever was.

Sam watched her disappear, aware of the canyon she had just put between them. Something sensitive filled his eyes as he watched the spot she use to claim. His heart aching, he wanted to help, but he wasn't sure how, because she wouldn't let him in. Sam was allowed to roam around Haley's inner core. See her deepest layers but her father, that was one place Haley had blocked off like a fortresses. Not even he or their connection had a right to enter, and he was pretty sure she didn't even dare to go there either.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, _

_Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, _

_No, ain't even gray, but she buries her baby_

When they reached the pool cement flecks were already indented on the souls of their bare feet. Normally Haley would slowly wade her way into the water, but tonight she dove right in without a word of warning. Needing the cool water to wash her clean.

Sam watched her disappear under the murky blue liquid before her beautiful face popped up to the surface. A shiny grin on her lips, drops of water pelted her face as she called him in to follow.

Without a second guess Sam's feet jumped off the side, and crashed into the cool chilly water.

As soon as his face popped back up to the surface Haley's attack awaited. Splashing him hard and fast in the face before she swam away.

His arms beat the water hard as he swam quickly after her. Taking her from behind, Sam dunked Haley under the water in retribution with a wicked laugh. When she came back up the look in her eyes told him the game was on, and he better run.

Childish and playful they swam about the cool liquid splashing, and dunking each other with every opportunity to attack. The water felt soothing against their earlier desperately warm skin. The relief felt calming and rejuvenating, but not even it could make sleeping dogs lie.

Tiring after a good fight, Haley swam to the side of the pool and hung on, catching her breath, enjoying the warm muggy air in contrast to the cool water surrounding her.

Sam reached her side with just a few strokes. Hooking an arm over the side of the pool, Sam watched Haley for a moment. Watching her was one of his favorite things to do. Watching the beauty of her profile as something continued to nag at his sensitive heart. Licking his already wet lips, Sam spoke up just loud enough for her to hear.

"So what were you looking at in there?" Sam questioned, referring to the picture he had caught a brief glimpse of before they came out to the pool. His dewy whiskey eyes upon her hoping for a genuine answer.

Haley stayed still for a moment. The power of his words stirring the darkness she had spent the last ten minutes trying to banish. Darkness she could still feel. That screamed how alone and lost she truly was. That the face she made when it hurt the most was just that, a façade. That it knew the truth, what she really was.

Glancing his way before the darkness swallowed her whole, Haley tried her best to hide the pain thriving inside her.

Sam's eyes looked so soft and caring as they gazed upon her, and all she wanted in that moment was relief, his relief. From the boy who could always pull her back from the brink.

Without an answer Haley learned over to Sam, and captured his pout with her own in a warm wet kiss. Her kiss was soft and sensual in it's approach, but backed up so much hidden emotion. Quickly Sam reciprocated Haley's kiss, always seduced by her. In a moment he found Haley moving to him in the water, tangling her arms around his damp neck. Clinging close to him, Haley felt the spark of their connection tickle inside her soul. Like a beam of light she could feel it shooting through them, like an arrow connecting them to each other.

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom, I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger, I've never known the lovin' of a man, _

_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever, Who would have thought forever could be severed by_

_The sharp knife of a short life, _

_Well, I've had just enough time_

Their connection felt warm and soothing compared to the throb of eternal loss in her wounded heart. Needing more of the healing power of their love, Haley kissed Sam harder. Passionate but needy, Sam felt Haley take it up a notch before her free floating legs wrap around him in the water. Distracting his train of thought with her urgent kiss, and their ever surge connection.

Sam's body felt on fire from her, as if she was pumping red hot coals through his veins. Their connection was powerful, and had the ability to consume his whole mind. Letting him get lost in her, but Sam wasn't the kind of boy who gave into to urges when he knew they were hiding something.

"Haley," Sam called to her in-between heated kisses. Trying to catch her attention. Trying to produce a lucid thought in the midst of chemistry and a connection that threatened to take complete control. His free arm steady on the concert side so they didn't go under, while his other arm held her close under the water.

"Sam," Haley murmured back against his lips. His kiss, his touch, their connection surged through her body and soul pushing the darkness ever deeper, or obliterating it all together. She wasn't sure which, but either was the saving she needed. No part of her wanted to stop, she just wanted to keep letting him heal her whole.

"Haley," Sam's voice shot off more insistently this time. His hand around her back slipped free from the thick cool liquid to grip her cheek, holding her steady as he evaded her next attempt at another kiss.

As her big chocolate eyes hit him fast with her stare, Sam softly stroked her cheek with his thumb as he reached out to her. "Breathe baby, take a breath. Talk to me. Where's this coming from?" He begged her for honesty, because he loved her more then he could ever love her kiss. Sam knew what he saw in that picture even though she was trying to hide it. He also knew it was killing her even though she tried to hide that too.

Looking into his puppy dog eyes, part of Haley wanted to bare her soul. Hang it out on the line, and let him comfort her, but then it would make the pain real. A bigger part of her wanted to ignore it's existence. Wanted to distract herself so completely with a love that filled her with endless relief that she could almost convince herself the pain wasn't real, or that it was healed from her all together. "I don't want to talk." Haley answered simply with a coy little smile she knew always got to him. Trying to mask the painful truth even from herself.

Seeing in his eyes she still had him under their spell, Haley leaned forward, and claimed his lips once again. Soft and juicy, she managed to get in a few kisses before Sam's hand tightened on her cheek as if he was going to stop her.

Staying the course, knowing all his weak spots, Haley's mouth slipped to his neck. Nibbling on his ear before finding his neck just where he loved it. She needed this, needed him to fix her. Put her pieces back together, and she knew he wanted this to. She felt she just had to remind him. "I just want us." Haley whispered against his chlorine drenched skin as further persuasion.

Sam felt he had a loosing battle on his hands. She got to him, had control of him like no one else. She could make him feel things, want things he was pretty sure no one else could. Feeling her mouth warm and wanting just the way he loved it, feeling her squirm against him, Sam felt himself giving into her. If this is what she thought she needed he was starting to become convinced. Until something seeped through their connection. Something she'd normally hide, and the fact that it came through showed how badly it was hurting her. Death, grief, loss, and emptiness pierced Sam's heart like a quiet distant throbbing.

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar, They're worth so much more after I'm a goner, And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin', Funny when your dead how people start listenin'_

Not overwhelming enough to have come from him, but just painful enough to be real. He knew in his heart it came from her, and the thought she was in that kind of pain broke his heart.

Gently untangling her, Sam pulled Haley back until their eyes met. Empathy swam in his gaze as he softly touched her cheek. "I saw the picture. Hales, I know your hurting. I know you still miss him. How could you not, he was your dad." Sam gently delivered the truth, knowing that must be where this pain was stemming from. Trying to make her see he was here for her. He wanted to help her, and not by kissing it away.

Staring into his soft whiskey eyes, Sam's words pieced through her. Chipping away at the dam she built inside, Haley felt herself instantly crumbling. His words her ultimate undoing. She felt the tidal wave of memories, regrets, and grief flash flood through her at such a rate she couldn't have held it in even if she tried.

Sam watched helpless as the tears instantly filled Haley's broken honey eyes, and crashed over the edges at a drowning rate. He felt her breath shutter against his face, as her lower lip began to quiver.

Pulling her tightly against him, Sam swiveled them, until her back was against the edge of the pool. So he could hold her with both his hands, and still keep them above the water.

A sob wrenched up her throat, chocking, and thick as Haley clung desperately to Sam. Her face buried in the crook of his damp neck as the empty darkness exploded inside her, filling very corner, eating her alive. When the pain came to life, when she really let herself feel it, Haley felt like she was suffocating. In those moment when forever truly held meaning. When she admitted someone she loved so dearly, someone that was such a part of who she was, was never coming back. It was in those moments Haley wasn't sure how to bear it. She wasn't sure how to take it all in, and not have it swallow her whole.

So she did the only thing she could, she held tightly onto Sam, and just let herself feel it as the tears came out chocking and endless.

"Let it out. I'm here." Sam soothed softly into her wet hair. His heart breaking with the sound of her gasping sobs. The girl he loved most in the world was breaking, and he was powerless to help her in any way other then holding her, and whispering softly to her. His free hand was back in the chilly water, wrapped tightly around her, holding her close. His other arm hung half on the cement edge, the other half gently cradled her head.

Haley's body shook with the velocity of her pain. The indescribable pain of loss that seemed stronger then she could take. "I just miss him so bad." She choked out a cry into his shoulder as the words stung in her broken heart. Clinging tightly as if he could fix it, but now that it was free there was no remedy.

Oblivious to the scene unfolding around him, Dean passed the entrance gate to the pool. The temptation of a cool swim to kill the heat one that seduced even him. Reaching the pools edge the image of Sam and Haley tangled up in each other was blinding.

Clearing his throat, Dean announced himself. "I know Dad's out for the night, but the motel manager still thinks we're all related. Mind not giving her a reason to think we like to keep it all in the family." He shot off sarcastically, asking for a little more discretion while completely unaware of Haley's breakdown. Her face still hidden in the crook of Sam's neck.

_The ballad of a dove, Go with peace and love, Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket, Save them for a time when your really gonna need them_

Sam felt Haley tense with the knowledge they weren't alone. He heard her muffled attempts to stifle her tears, and regain composure. Sam knew Haley trusted Dean with her heart probably as much as him, but this was something she wasn't willing to share. This was something he barely got to witness.

Pulling back slightly, Haley caught Sam's concerned whiskey eyes as she untangled a free hand, and rapidly wiped her face clean of tears as shuttered breathes bust from her lips. She felt his hands tighten their hold on her. She could see in his eyes he didn't want her to push it all back down, but Haley didn't want to bawl like a baby in front of Dean, the strongest man she ever knew. While she felt safe to cry in front of him, part of her always wanted Dean to see her as strong like him, not weak, and control by emotion. The way he was always so strong.

Slipping past Sam's grips back into the cool liquid, Haley sunk under. Breaking free, she kept her head under water as she swam below. Hoping the liquid would disguise any signs of her tears by the time she reached Dean at the shallow end.

When her face surfaced, Dean was already half way in the water taking a seat on the half submerged steps.

Finding her feet in the shallow end, Haley moved in the murky liquid to take a seat beside him. Sam was already swimming over to join them. "We weren't doing anything." She lied, because at that moment she was still hanging by a thread, and anything close to the truth threatened to snap her strength, and send the tears falling.

"Right," Dean mocked with a dance to his wicked eyebrows, and roll of his eyes. His piecing emerald eyes upon his baby girl Dean saw it instantly, her puff eyes, flushed cheeks. Quickly his brow knitted together as his gaze narrowed in. "You ok? Something wrong?" He questioned, as his big reached out to gently touch her face, worry written across his.

Brushing his hand off her face as her eyes diverted from his, Haley evaded his comfort in a way she rarely did. "I'm fine. Just got some water in my eyes." She dismissed stubbornly as she chocked down the tightening building in her chest, the tears that wanted to form with the safety of his support.

Sensing he was onto her in a way she wanted no one to be onto her, Haley pulled away. Rising to her feet, in a second she dove into the water. Her arms treading the liquid as her legs kicked. Haley took herself all the way to the deep end, and lingered there near the bottom for a moment. Her lungs burned for air, but she didn't want to go back up, not yet. It was peaceful down there, quiet and cool. The water didn't ask questions, and down in the deep she could lock her demons back in their closest without worrying about someone interfering.

As Haley darted away, Dean's knowing gaze shot to Sam on his opposite side. eyes piercing and questioning, asking without words what was going on with her.

Sam watched as Haley submerged under the murky blue water before his eyes darted back to his big brother. "She misses her dad." Four words was all Sam had to say. The somber tone of his voice sent the message loud and clear. His heart still aching she had pulled away, still aching he couldn't help her more.

Dean nodded with acknowledgement. He understood better then anyone the bitter taste of loss. The perpetual empty slot left from loosing a parent. Dean wanted to help her, but not even he was entirely sure how. He had never gotten over it either, so he didn't know how to show the way.

The brothers gazed out at the water, an internal clock ticking between them. Slowly the worry began to build as time passed without her return. Just when the panic set in. Just when they both rose to their feet ready to dive in after her. Finally Haley's head popped up to the surface. A sigh of relief exchanged between the brothers before Haley's shining forced smile flashed their way. Her denial had retaken it's hold. Her mask firmly back in place as everything she couldn't face was locked back up inside her.

_The sharp knife of a short life, _

_Well, I've had just enough time, So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls…_

_The Band Perry, "If I Die Young"_

**Note:** So honestly what do you think about Haley? What she's going through and how she's dealing with it? Please be brutally honest. For those wondering what I was trying to bring across... I was trying to show that Haley in her desperation and grief is trying to heal the loss of one love with another. She's trying to ignore her pain out of fear she can't handle it and submerging herself in Sam where she feels safe and loved. Where she thinks he can fix. Also, if you haven't heard this song, I highly recommend you check it out. It's a really beautiful song!


	32. Chapter 32

_**Cut You Down**_

_Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news, My head's been wet with the midnight dew, I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee, He spoke to me in the voice so sweet, I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet, He called my name and my heart stood still, When he said, "John go do My will!"_

The Winchester's weren't a normal bunch, this they knew. Switching makeshift homes like the changing seasons. Their chores were made up of weapons training and ancient folklore. Their family vacations amounted to hunting down werewolves, ghost, and creatures of the same supernatural kind. No, there was no mistaking the Winchester's were a different breed, but sometimes when life on the road got quiet they could almost feel what normal life was like brushing against their fingertips.

This however wasn't one of those times. John had left on a hunt for the devil's gates in Clifton. That was three weeks ago, and he hadn't called more then once since. Always the protector, Dean tried to shield Sam and Haley from the ever growing worry building in his gut. Always reassuring them everything was fine, Dad was just busy with the job, he'd call soon, but deep inside as every day passed, Dean grew a little bit more sure something had gone terribly wrong.

Cooped up in some backwoods cabin the middle of no where. The three youngest Winchesters had been put on strict orders from John to stay put, and out of sight. Only going into town for needed supplies. John said he couldn't take them with him on this trip, too dangerous, but a little fresh air could do them good. Plenty of time to study up and train daily.

Checking his phone for the hundredth time that day, Dean saw there was still no call from dad. A heavy exhale released on his breath as the tension bubbled up once again in his gut. His heart strained, Dean knew something was wrong.

Hearing the sound of sneakers tapping against the creaking hardwood floors, Dean quickly shoved his phone into his back pocket, and shoved his feelings back into hiding.

Spinning around in his boots, Dean spotted Haley entering the kitchen. A smile danced across her face for him as she reached the counter by his side, and promptly hopped on. "I'm bored, and I'm hungry. Please tell me we have something other then Mac and cheese for once." Her voice dull, but pleading. They had been cooped up for three weeks now, and while part of Haley loved the free time with her boys another part of her felt like she was losing her mind. Only so much rough housing and making out she could take before the scenery got old.

Taking his cue, Dean opened the cupboard that barely held onto it's hinges. Inspecting the almost bare boards, he took inventory. "We got soup and spaghetti-O's if you don't want Mac and cheese. And I've have you know it's your turn to cook." He informed Haley with a pointed flash her way from his piercing emerald eyes. The look in her orbs already telling him she wasn't going to like that answer.

"But I did it yesterday. I don't want to do it again." Haley pouted with a heavy sigh, playing on the fact that being the only girl and the baby of the family gave her influence over the men. Grabbing his hand from the cupboard door, Haley tugged Dean to her. His board hands settled at her waist, as her knees brushed his firm belly. Wrapping her arms loosely around his neck, Haley purposefully held her eyes big like a sad doe as her lower lip pouted to pull on his heart strings. "Please Dean. I'll give you a lap dance if I don't have to." She teased, a mischievous grin forming on her lips.

"That's cute." Sarcastically Dean scoffed as his brows arched for emphasis. "You don't actually give lap dances, do you?" He questioned Haley, his piercing emerald eyes quickly growing pensive as they gazed upon his baby girl. Before his demeanor abruptly shifted yet again. "You know what, on second thought, don't answer that. I don't even want to know." Dean dismissed his own question with a brief shake of his head as his hands reached behind his neck to clasp hers, and pull them back down to her lap. Ever since he learned Haley and Sam were sleeping together, Dean found it easier to be dumb to some aspects. Ill prepared for the way the news turned his gut.

Feeling Dean pull away from her grasp, Haley gripped his callused hands back, and pulled him closer before he could get away. One hand released his before reaching up to touch his prickled cheek, pulling his eyes back to hers. "Hey Dean, I'm not… Relax, you don't have to worry. You'd have been my first." She explained herself with a soft smile, trying to reassure him. She hated the distance he put between them whenever he learned something he didn't want to know about her. She missed the days when he never had a reason to be afraid to look her in the eye.

"That's never gonna happened." Dean let the truth slip loose off his plump pout with a quick huff as he relaxed in her grip. His eyes drilled into hers, leaving no lingering doubt in his pupil.

"I know," Haley agreed with a silly smile, and roll to her eyes as if to say that was obvious. Just glad Dean believed her enough to look in her eyes once again. "I was joking anyway. I just really don't want to be the one to cook again." A subtle pout finding her lower lip again, trying to win him over. Knowing what the puppy dog face did to his insdes.

"Well I'm not doing it." Dean answered adamantly not giving into his weakness for her pouty lip. He already cooked more times then he'd like. As if taking care of them all by himself all the time wasn't enough. He wasn't going to be their personal chef too.

"Your only hope is if Sammy will do it." Dean offered Haley a glimmer of hope, always soft on the kid. Both of them knowing no one succumbed to Haley's charm better then Sam.

Slipping from her grasp, Dean turned around, and patted his back. "Hop on. Let's go find Sam, and see if you can weasel your way out of this one." He playfully teased. His sexy smirk shining on his face.

"Free ride." Haley squealed with excitement as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and let her legs latch at his waist. Pretending as if she was a little girl all over again.

The pair found Sam outside reading a book on the porch, whose wooden boards were so deteriorated they sounded like they might break through if you stepped too hard.

Haley's eyes sparkled as she flashed Sam a smile on arrival, and asked if he'd make lunch. No one was surprised when Sam agreed, but giving his little brother the opportunity to not be totally whipped, Dean said they'd have to race for it. A little friendly competition, he called it.

Letting Haley down, Dean pointed to a fence off in the distance boarding someone's property. He laid out the rules. Whoever ran from that fence back to the cabin first won, and didn't have to cook, loser makes lunch.

Hearing Dean whistle out a cat call, the signal to go, the two physically fit teens took off full force. Sam didn't mind cooking this time if it made his girl happy, but he still gave the race his best. His completive streak winning out against Haley's smile that always seem to cast spells over him.

Their legs beat against the tall overgrown wild grass. The hot sun blazed down on them as their lungs panted for air, and their feet pushed hard into the dirt ground below.

Reaching the fence just a hair before Sam, Haley gained a momentary lead. They were neck and neck as they approached the cabin.

If Haley didn't want to make lunch before this sprint she insistently didn't want to after all this exertion. Giving everything she had to the last stretch. Seeing victory in sight, Haley managed to pull ahead of Sam just enough to win.

_Go tell that long tongue liar, Go and tell that midnight rider, Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter, Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down_

Feet from the cabin, Haley spotted Dean in her way before she could stop. In an instant his strong arms caught her by the waist, and pulled her to the ground.

Lying in the dirt, tall grass swayed from the sudden motion framing her eye line as Dean pinned her to the ground. Towering above her, he began to mercilessly tickle her sides.

Instantly disabled against the tickling sensation of his roaming hands, Haley squirmed in the earth as she gasped for breath, and begged Dean to stop through bursting laughter.

After Dean had his fill of her addictive laugh, and shining smile, he set her free, and rose to his feet.

Spotting his younger brother standing at the back of cabin a few feet away staring at them with questioning eyes, Dean explained. "I got your back, Sammy." Dean chuckled, indicating in a subtle way he had tackled Haley to let Sam win.

Taking the hand Dean extended for her, Haley bounced back up. Back on solid ground, she swatted Dean's arm in retribution. "Not fair," She protested his cheating.

A smile slipped across Sam's face with the sight of her. Her hair tangled with grass, her breath still heaving. Her face was flushed, and yet she was still the most striking thing he had ever seen. Sam secretly loved it when Haley got flustered. He'd never tell her that, but something about the way her gaze grew intense twisted in his gut every time.

"Don't worry Hales, I'll still help you." Sam conceded, earning a smile of triumph off Haley's lips for him, the greatest prize Sam could conceive.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulder as they all headed back inside, Dean pulled Haley close into the crook of his arm. Leaning in against her ear as they moved step by step he explained himself in a truly snarky Dean way. "Bet you'll think twice before you proposition me again." He teased her, before his warm pout left a brief but affectionate kiss on her temple.

_I see the wind, oh I see the trees, Everything is clear in my heart, I see the clouds, oh I see the sky, Everything is clear in our world _

Hours later, Sam and Haley lay nestled in the woods that carried on from the cabin's entrance. Their backs flush with the earth as pine needles, and dirt became their bed. Their eyes gazed upward, off into the tree tops that seemed to reach for the heaven's, off into the blue sky that lay gleaming at the very top.

Sam's arm rested under Haley's head like a pillow as she snuggled close to his side. Quietly they day dreamed. Letting the last of the day dwindle by like grains of sand in an hour glass.

"Tell me again what it will be like when we go off to college." Softly Haley murmured as she nuzzled against Sam's old, faded flannel shirt.

A smile brighter then the sun with matching dimples cuter then pie filled his face as Sam pulled his girl closer to him. He loved talking about college. The dream that kept him together when he felt he couldn't take another moment of this lifestyle he detested. Freedom within grasping reach. "We'll live near the campus. In a place of our own. We'll go to school full time, and I'll work. We'll learn about things we've only dreamt of, and make friends we can actually keep. We'll be normal… We have good grades now. So we just have to keep up the good work this year." Sam mused, the thought so exciting he could hardly contain himself. The taste of normalcy and a mundane life sweet like candy to his soul. Finally, he wouldn't be the freak for once.

Leaning up on his side, so Sam could see Haley's radiant face. He spotted a fray strand of her silky locks fluttering across her lashes. With a feathers touch he swiped it away with his thumb before his palm rested at her cheek. Looking into her honey orbs that held his heart, Sam made her a promise. "I'm going to take care of you. Give you the life you deserve."

Gazing up into Sam's sensitive whiskey eyes his words stole the breath from her lips as she felt the conviction behind them, the devotion of his heart. "I love you, Sam Winchester." Slipped freely off her lips, and echoed in her heart as she got lost in his eyes, and felt no doubt.

That same beautifully stunning smile that had held his face just moments ago returned in greater force as Sam's face dipped down to hers. Lightly he brushed his nose with the tip of hers as his eyes blazed down onto her honey pair, and dug deeper. "I love you too." He whispered back, as his thumb gently swept across her cheek with affection, and his heart pounded with the confirmation of his words.

Haley's chin tilted up as her lips captured his in a slow sensual kiss. Steady but paced their warm lips tangled as their hearts pounded to the same beat. As if they were the same thing coming together the way they were meant to be.

Haley's delicate hands tangled in Sam's hair at the back of his neck as the kiss deepened. His tongue slipped between the sweet embraces of her lips as time slipped away. Forgotten in this place of perfection they had found.

Breaking to take a breath, Sam pulled back just enough to find her eyes clear and focused. Silently he asked what she wanted, and her eyes came back with the confirmation that mirrored his. Leaning back into his home closest to her, Sam's warm lips claimed hers once again in a soft and needy way.

Gently his big hands reached for the top bottom of her flannel shirt, and unbuttoned it before working his way down. Each button shown the same care he would give if his hands were touching her skin and not cotton.

Haley's belly burned with the urge to feel his skin soft and warm against hers, as her hands slipped free of his loose locks. Finding the collar of his over flannel shirt, Haley tugged the fabric off his shoulders.

Finishing with the last button of her shirt resting at the hem of her jeans, Sam finally released the sweet softness of her lips from his grasp as he pulled back.

Leaning up on his knees, Sam pulled his hands free of the cuffs of his flannel shirt before reaching to the back of his neck, and tugging up his faded grey tee shirt. Following him step for step, beat for every heart beat, Haley sat up, and slipped her shirt off her shoulders onto the dirt floor all a round them.

Bare skin gleamed in the flicking sunlight that managed to reach the earth past the towering trees. Their eyes met with a silent hunger as Sam reached out to lovingly stroke her cheek. Knowing that look in her eyes. Knowing it wanted to be near him, connect to him, and feel whole, Sam was more then willing to grant every wish she might have.

_Oh my love for the first time in my life, My mind is wide open, Oh my lover for the first time in my life, My mind can feel _

Sam sat back onto his butt as his hands found her bare waist. A soft warming smile touched his lips, before Sam effortlessly lifted Haley onto him, straddling his lap.

Having her so near, his hand admired her supple cheek once again before he wandered. Down her face, gliding along her neck, and onto the curve of her shoulder.

"You're so beautiful." Sam whispered softly to her with complete amazement on his breath.

Gazing into Sam's eyes, Haley knew what love was. She knew what it was like to feel safe, at home, and completely wanted for exactly who she is. She loved him so much for that she would have given him the world if it was within her grasp, but it wasn't. Instead she showered him with her affection.

A gentle smile held on her lips as she acknowledge how lucky she was to have him, and his love. Succumbing to everything rushing between them, their lips came together. Their kiss eager, but full of depth.

"Do you have something?" Haley managed to slip the words in-between the lock of their lips. Always cautious, they made a promise to not be risky ever again. Lost in the embrace of her mouth, the ecstasy of her tender kiss, Sam drank Haley in. Feeling the intoxication of her essence slipping into him, Sam's lips left her mouth. Trailing warm and tender kisses across her jaw, and onto her neck. Desirous with the taste of her as if each kiss satisfied a ravenous thirst.

Buried deep in the curve of her neck, her smooth sweet smelling flesh flush with his nose. Sam shook his head no, nuzzling her skin with his answer. Parting his lips his breath came out hot and moist against her skin. "But we can do other things." Sam whispered before his mouth kissed her once again, and he felt her skin shiver under his lips in response. Reaching her shoulder, Sam's thick textured finger tips smoothly slipped her bra strap off her shoulder as his warm soft lips followed just a step behind.

Sam could feel her skin tingle in his grasp, he could hear the quiet gasps of her breath near his ear as they surrounded themselves in heaven.

_Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand, Workin' in the dark against your fellow man, But as sure as God made black and white, What's done in the dark will be brought to the light_

"Sam, Haley!" Dean's bellowing voice echoed through the forest, but distant enough to have come from the cabin.

They could hear it, the hoarse desperation in his voice, something was wrong. In a second they pulled apart, their moment forgotten in the scheme of things. Hastily, but still flushed they found their feet. Sam yanked his shirts back on. Still working on the buttons of her shirt, the pair took off full speed back to the cabin, unsure of what they'd find.

In the panic of the moment, Sam and Haley didn't even notice John's truck was back, parked behind the Impala.

Dashing inside the cabin, Sam and Haley stopped abruptly in the entrance with the sudden sight of John standing in the middle of the living room. His old flannel shirt covered in dried blood, duffle bag still in his hand. The room went silent in a moment of unknown terror, before John dropped his bag to the floor. The noise was loud and foreboding, but it snapped everyone out of their haze in a second.

"Go get the kit out of the trunk!" Dean ordered with an urgency on his breath that mirrored everyone's fear as he tossed Sam the car keys from across the room.

Not needing to be told twice, the intensity of the moment not lost on him, Sam took off for the car as fast as his legs could go.

"What happened?" Dean started in quickly as he stepped to his father, trying to get a wrangle on the overwhelming racing of his heart.

John stood stoic and numb, he didn't respond to Dean's question. He didn't even move.

Jumping into gear as their nurse, Haley stepped to John as her fingers loosely ran along his bloody shirt trying to find a wound. "Dad, what happened?" She quietly asked, trying her best to stay calm and assess the situation.

John finally moved with the invasion of his space. His worn, beaten down eyes dropped to Haley's gentle concerned face. His expression numb, but his voice finally found life. "I'm ok. It's not my blood." He reassured, in an eerie sort of way that calmed no one.

Without another word of explanation, John numbly turned, and started for the only bedroom in the cabin.

Hot on his heels, Dean and Haley moved. Dean was the first to start in on the questions. The sight of his father unnerving him. "What happened? Who got hurt? Do we need to leave? Should I have the kids pack up?" Rambling, Dean's mouth moved a mile a minute. The only thing keeping him together was trying to stay the course. Do what needed to be done. Be his dad's right hand man.

Taking a heavy seat on the old sinking mattress, John snapped sharply. "Shut up about the freaking hunt already!" He ordered in a hollered tone that echoed through the room, and startled everyone silent.

Sam appeared just in time to hear his brother chewed out. Leather bag in hand, Sam didn't say a word. His fathers infamous temper enough to warrant his silence.

Shaken from the outburst, Haley's eyes shot to Dean beside her. Instantly noting the sting in his emerald orbs even though everything else about him appeared strong and unfazed. She knew behind his guard that one hurt. Reaching out Haley took Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together before she spoke up meekly. "Dad, Dean was just trying to help." She explained. Standing up for Dean, feeling Dad's attack was undeserved.

Laying down on the bed, John let out a heavy exhale, something close to regret.

"Then get me something to drink. Bourbon, Scotch, Whiskey, whatever is easy to grab." John spoke, his tone lower, deep, and burly, but not harsh this time.

"Yes Sir." Dean answered quick but quiet like a good soldier. Slipping free of Haley's delicate hand, he turned on his heels, and headed for the door. Spotting Sammy in the doorway, he wrapped an arm around his little brother, and dragged him along with him. "Give me a hand, Sammy." Dean instructed.

Once alone, Haley went to John. Silently she undid his dirt muddled boots, and slipped them free of his feet. Grasping the blanket at the end of the bed, she pulled it up, and around him with nurturing care. A soft silent smile filled her face as Haley took a seat on the edge of the bed. Finally alone she could sense it, and knew it came from dad.

There was this empty grieving sensation in her heart. At first she thought it was nothing, or just her own, but looking into John's eyes she knew it wasn't. Gently Haley took his hand into her own, and gave it a little squeeze of support. "Somebody you care about died." She spoke softly without any question.

Staring into the honey eyes of a girl he saw as his daughter, John found himself getting choked up by her words. It always amazed him the way her intuition could point to the source, even when he was trying his best to hide it. A shuttered thick breath left John's throat as he gave a slight tilt to his chin, but couldn't muster a words.

Just then the boys appeared, Dean brandishing a cheap bottle of scotch, three quarters full. Sam hung at the doorway while Dean went to his father's bedside, and handed it over personally.

Guard back in place, always wanting to be the leader and strong in front of his boys, John settled back into numb indifference. Taking the bottle in hand he gave Dean an approving nod.

Haley squeezed Dad's hand once again, and wrapped her other one around it. She waited until his tired eyes fell upon her before she spoke. "Rest Dad, we'll pack up, and be ready to leave in the morning." She assured before offering him a quick supportive smile. Rising to she feet all three of his kids exited the room.

Door closed, a moment alone, John unscrewed the cap to the bottle. Bringing it to his lips he took a big swig to kill the pain. Staring off onto the pealing plaster wall across from him, he felt tears of loss and guilt sting his eyes to the burn in his heart. It was moments like this when the people he cared for paid the ultimate price. Moment like this when he wasn't truly sure anyone was safe around him. Moments like this when he couldn't even face his kids, because of the suffocating guilt inside… It was those moments that this life seemed too much.

_You can run on for a long timeRun on for a long time_

_Run on for a long timeSooner or later God'll cut you down_

Johnny Cash "God's Gonna Cut You Down." & John Lennon "Oh My Love"


	33. Chapter 33

**Note: **This chapter contains Adult Themes

_**The Kids Aren't Alright**_

_Come to me now, And lay your hands over me, Even if it's a lie, Say it will be alright, And I shall believe_

Images flashed through Haley's mind, hard and fast and unbearably painful. Images of joyous times pasted, futures that could never be, of death, and of the loss that comes with it. Images so painful that as her honey eyes shot open, Haley had to fight to catch her breath that felt stolen from her lungs.

Staring up at the faded white ceiling, Haley felt trembling through out all her limbs as a stabbing feeling pierced her heart. No matter how much time passed, no matter how many happy moments she experienced in between. It always amazed her the way her fathers death could hit out of the blue, and strike her to the ground. Leaving her broken, and begging on her knees once again.

Warm tears stung as they welled up uncontrollably in her eyes. She couldn't take this feeling, it felt like slow torturous death. It was strangling, and burning, and piercing, and all Haley could think of was making it go away before it sucked the life from her completely.

Her head turned to the side against the cotton pillow. Easily she spotted Dean asleep beside her on the bed. Sprawled out, his faded brown leather jacket hung over him like a blanket.

For a moment she considered waking him, but Haley knew he couldn't make her forgot. He could hold her, he could listen as she spoke, but he couldn't connect to her so completely that she could almost convince herself the pain was wiped clean, but she knew who could.

Quiet like a mouse, Haley pulled the thin blanket off her body. Making slow movements, Haley stepped lightly onto the shag carpet.

Creepy like a burglar, she reached the opposite bed where Sammy lay sleeping, the blanket hung low on his waist. Silently she tugged on his arm, Haley wasn't surprised when Sam's groggy eyes finally opened.

Still half asleep, Sam wondered if it was a dream as he saw Haley standing by his bedside, but catching the heartache heavy in her eyes, he knew it wasn't.

Sam understood without her needing to say anything. Greif had come to find her. To break her heart, and steal her thunder. Pulling back the covers, he scooted over on the bed to make room.

Not needing to be told twice, Haley accepted the invite she needed so badly. Climbing into the bed, she snuggled into his open arms. Feeling them wrap around her the pain lessened, but it didn't leave.

Burrowing close against his chest, Haley let Sam's scent fill her nose, and seduce her senses. He was her hope, her peace, the only one who could put her pieces back together just the way they should go.

Lifting her head off his chest, Haley sweetly smiled up at Sam. In his arms she finally knew what she needed. As his heart tugging grin filled his face in return, she knew he was the only thing that could fix her. Something in his eyes, deep and soft called to her like a light in the pitch darkness.

Leaning up, Haley softly brushed her lips against his, and felt a fluttering in her belly as his lips grazed hers in return. Opening herself up with their touch their connection began to come to life, electric and healing.

Sam had thought Haley needed a moment of affection, a quick reassurance of his love his arms couldn't bring, but then her lips never left his. The kiss only deepened as Haley yearned for more. Slowly as not to make a sound, she rolled onto her back, and Sam followed, his arms still tangled around her.

_I'm broken in two, And I know you're on to me, That I only come home When I'm so all alone, But I do believe_

His heart began to race as she reached down, and pulled the blankets over their heads for privacy. As Haley kissed him longer, Sam could feel things getting out of hand, but it wasn't until her leg snaked up against his hip, and her hands gripping his shirt began to lightly tug him onto her that Sam finally realize Haley wasn't just trying to kiss.

His pout imprisoned between her soft full lips, Sam pulled back just enough to break the kiss. The tips of their noses brushed as Sam's whiskey eyes pierced Haley's honey ones.

"Dean's right over there." Sam reminded her in a low whisper as his hot breath splashed her mouth. His eyes probed hers, surprised she needed to be told that.

Big honey eyes that made his heart skip a beat didn't surrender like he hoped.

"We could be quiet." She whispered back just as softly, but he could see something hurting in her eyes. Something the heat of the moment couldn't even hide.

His heart sped up, and heat rushed through his veins. Hearing Haley want him had a magical way of doing funny things to his body, but Sam was sensible, and not driven by impulse.

Lightly shaking his head no, Sam stood his ground. "We can't." His deep voice stayed hushed as his eyes pleaded with her to understand he was being logical.

That deep seeded pain Sam had glimpsed in her eyes when he first woke up blinded them again as if she couldn't mask her agony any longer.

"I need you… I need to you to make me whole again." Haley's warm whispered breath rattled with emotion against his lips as tears pooled in her eyes. Coming from anyone else that would have been a line or a manipulative ploy, but looking in her eyes all Sam saw was pain and desperation she truly believed he could fix.

Her pain weakened him, slowly killed him. Sam couldn't see her like that without being willing to do anything to make it go away. Softly his lips brushed hers once to console her, trying to banish her pain, but instead he ignited something he wasn't going to be able to put out.

As Haley tenderly kissed him back, a passion began building in the hold of their lips. Sam knew he wasn't strong enough to turn her away once their connection was made, not when he felt her imperative need for him rushing through his veins as if it came from his own heart. He wanted her, he loved her more then anything else, and feeling her need him so badly he had to give her what she needed.

Blindly digging into his pillowcase through quiet kisses, Sam pulled out a condom. One of two he always kept hidden there. Somewhere no one would look. The sound of shuffling under the sheets filled the quiet room as the pair slipped off just enough fabric to unite.

Sam kissed Haley softly, gazing into her eyes as they came together. Her legs held securely to the sides of him as they moved only enough to rock as one. Trying to make as little noise as possible while letting the connection of their souls, and body take them to a place were they literally melted into one entity. A place where Haley found peace and quiet, a place where there was no pain, and only love.

Disappearing down the spiraled path of the whiskey swirl to his eyes, Haley felt their connection take full control. Is was as if she was an ocean, and he dove into her waters.

_Open the door And show me your face tonight, I know it's true, No one heals me like you, And you hold the key_

She could feel his heart pounding inside her as if it were her own heart that made each beat. She could feel his lightly panting breath as if it were her lungs his breath escaped from. She could feel him rushing through her as if it was his blood pumping through her veins. His thoughts, his secrets, everything that made Sam, Sam. His essence, his soul, his love was within her. Quietly, lovingly filling up the holes within her heart, mending the wounds at ached so badly. Fixing her from the inside out, like only his love in their connection could.

Finding a unobtrusive rhythm, Sam left her lips to kiss her sensitive neck. Tasting like nectar from a sweet fruit, and yet lightly salted, Sam tried to show Haley how he much loved her. Hoping that love would heal her the way she seemed to believe it could. Lost in the connection of each other, Sam made the mistake of nibbling on one of the most sensitive places of her neck, just below her ear lobe.

An unrestrained moan escaped Haley's lips in response before she could stop it, filling the room with noise.

Quickly Sam's rough textured palm gently covered her mouth. "Shhhh… not so loud, baby." He hushed softly into her ear, his breath shuttered, and heavy as he fought to keep his own volume under control. Deliriously lost in their connection, Sam fought to maintain enough cognitive thought on reality to not get them caught.

Feeling her face nod against his hand, Sam removed it from her mouth, and replaced it with his lips. Kissing Haley tender and soft with love as their eyes locked with a powerful force. At least this way if anything escaped it would escape into his mouth, and not echo throughout the room. In that moment, wrapped in his love, Haley found relief. Haley felt him stitching her back together.

Stirring from his deep sleep as a distinct noise pierced through the veil, still half asleep Dean thought the damn neighbors were trying to break their bed again, but then it hit him like a ton of bricks collapsing his chest. Those noises were too quiet, and all together too close to be coming from the next room. This was the sound of quiet caressing, lips touching, and rapid breaths just feet anyway.

All knowing agitation raced through Dean's veins as his hand ran across the bed where Haley was suppose to be sleeping, and found only blankets.

_Never again would I turn away from you, I'm so heavy tonight But your love is alright, And I do believe_

Stunned furious for a moment, Dean was outright flabbergasted Sam and Haley would actually go at it while he was in the room. The sound of someone's breath rapidly picking up, and beginning to hitch, Dean had had enough. Anger tightened his muscles as his emerald eyes shot open, and the faded white ceiling came into view. Letting out an audible groan, Dean finally made his presence known. "You've got be kidding me. Knock that shit off." His gritty sleep thickened voice came out deep in warning.

Instantly all noise and movement ceased. A duration of silence filled the room, Dean could only imagine this came from their attempts to over come being mortified and shocked.

Then slow shuffling sounds picked up again, different from before. These noises sounded like two separate people moving instead of one, Dean could only assume they were readjusting their cloths, but he tried not to think too hard on that image.

As they pulled down the blanket and their heads appeared, Dean refused to look at them. The sight of them in his peripherals was more then enough. "Sam, you can go dump the cock sock in the bathroom, because you better have been wearing one. Haley get your ass back over here." His voice grumbled so sternly one could have wondered if he was their father.

A moment of silence commenced before, Dean caught a glimpse of the blankets moving, and Haley creeping back over to their bed. Before Sam disappeared in the shadows for the bathroom.

He didn't look at her when she climbed in. He couldn't, knowing what she had just been doing.

"Don't even think about going back over there." His breath came out harsh and deep.

Night took it's hold again as if everyone had gone back to sleep even though no one had. The moment too awkward too just pass.

Feeling guilty, Haley was the first to reach out. "Dean," She quietly whispered with apprehension.

His eyes didn't open as he laid flat on his back against the mattress. "Yeah," Dean's gruff voice answered.

He heard a saddened sigh leave her side of the bed. "I'm sorry. Pleases don't be mad at Sam. It was my fault." The apology slipped uneven off her breath thick with emotion.

Hearing her despair, Dean couldn't ignore her like he wanted to. Slowly his heavy head turned to glance her way, and found her big doe eyes upon him.

It amazed Dean the way her image was ever evolving with him lately. Her face was still a little flushed, her lips still swollen, and her eyes still darkened, because she had been doing things the little girl he always saw her as wouldn't do. And yet still he found himself drawn to her, caring for her even though she was becoming something different from his beloved baby girl. "Don't let it happen again." He meant his voice to be lecturing and rough, but it came out softer then he meant it to, because Haley always had a way of pulling the softness from him. Looking into her remorseful eyes before her lids grew heavy and fluttered close, Dean let out a heavy breath and silently admitted this was probably a bigger problem then he was ready to admit.

_That not everything is gonna be the way You think it ought to be, It seems like every time I try to make it right It all comes down on me, Please say honestly, You won't give up on me, And I shall believe_

"_I Shall Believe" Sheryl Crow_

**Note: **For all those a little uncomfortable or confused about what's going on with Haley and Sam I wanted to add a few words.

Haley through the course of dealing with the loss of her father, a loss that's never ending, and therefore makes her feel like she can't handle it reaches for Sam to fix her. The best way I can describe it is some people run from their feelings with drugs, drowning in alcohol, ect. Haley gets lost in Sam and his love for her. His unconditional love for her makes her feel healed, fixed. And then you include the fact that they have a "special connection" that comes about when they're together that makes her feel high almost, it's a potent combination. And has now become Haley's coping mechanism. Right, wrong is irrelevant, this is what makes her feel better on an emotional level even more so then a physical one.

Sam is caught in a catch twenty-two. He's madly in love with Haley but he doesn't know how to help her, and he desperately wants to. I mean, who wants to watch someone they love wither in agony? So he's following her lead, and hoping it's making a difference. She's telling him she needs him, needs him to fix her. And she's convinced their physical expressions of love (Holding, kissing ect.) can heal her. Also, Haley is not only his love but his best friend, his only friend really. They also have that special ability to "Connect". Sam is highly intertwined with Haley. So as a result his feelings for her, and his need for her are stronger then they would be in a normal situation.

**Last note**, I tried to give a better detailing of what their "connection" was like. It is a literal thing, and meant to be a meshing of their bodies and souls. So hopefully that explained that tricky concept better. Oh, and if you haven't check out this song I highly recommend it! It truly inspired this chapter!


	34. Chapter 34

**Note:** Last chapter wasn't meant to lead to this chapter. Hope this explains things better.

_**Planted Thorns In This Garden Of Mine**_

_Winter is here again oh Lord, Haven't been home in a year or more, I hope she holds on a little longer, Sent a letter on a long summer day, Made of silver, not of clay, Ooh, I've been runnin' down this dusty road_

The next day Dean took it upon himself to deal with this new risen issue. To confront it head on before it got anymore out of hand then he feared it already was, because Sam and Haley were his responsibility. There was no doubting who called the shots. Who was head of the table in the Winchester family. It was John every time, but Dean was the primary care taker for Sam and Haley. There was no denying that.

Dean considered going to Sammy, his little brother about his concerns, but Dean felt pretty sure he wouldn't get the full story. That Sam wasn't the main source to this problem. Dean's naïve notions that Sam was a horny teenage boy looking for some private time with his girl like Dean had been looked more and more like just notions every day. And that his innocent baby girl might not be so innocent after all.

Dean offered to pick up dinner since Dad had already begun miller time. Which amounted to nothing more then endless beers until he passed out on the couch. It wasn't that Dad didn't care, Dean knew that. It was just that after seeing Mary die years before, and everything he saw day in and day out hunting, this was the only way John could find peace anymore.

Dean asked Haley to tag along, his mini sidekick, and lucky charm. Get her out of the stuffy four walls of this week's motel, and worrying about Dad as he displayed classic symptoms of mind numbing alcoholism. A side effect of being the child of a hunter and life on the road that always seemed to effect Haley more then Sam. Sam would ignore Dad when he drank. Go off into another room, read a book, or listen to music. Something to drown it out. While Haley would sit, and watch over Dad like a hawk, terrified of losing another parent.

Haley jumped at the chance to get some fresh air with Dean. As they passed the main streets of this quiet tortured town in middle America, Dean suggested they make a little ride out of it. Hit the interstate, enjoy the music, and country air. Little did Haley know what awaited her when she eagerly agreed with a beaming smile on her face just for him.

Hitting the outskirts of town where the speed limit jumped twenty miles faster, Dean let his foot grow heavier on the gas peddle as he finally felt like it was time to speak his mind, even if everything inside him resisted the urge.

Pinching the dial between his thumb and forefinger, Dean turned down the music before he cleared his throat, and watched Haley's big inquisitive honey orbs flash his way with his actions.

Feeling her stare hot on him as his haunting emerald eyes focused on the safety of the road, Dean forced his tongue to work. Going against it's nature of avoiding the touchy subjects. "What's going on with you and Sam, Hales?" His deep rough voice questioned in a vague sense that didn't hold too much weight.

"What do you mean?" Haley pressed for a better explanation. The pretty smile on her face twitched trying not falter against his preemptive question. His question so broad she wasn't sure what he was fishing for, but the fact that he asked her at all said he was fishing.

Dean's strong grip tightened on the wheel as his piercing eyes flashed to her briefly then back onto the road. Making sure her eyes held the same lack of understanding her words had. Seeing she was honestly clueless Dean reluctantly elaborated in the bluntest of terms. So there was no more confusion about what they were talking about, and he wouldn't be forced to relive this awkward experience. "I mean every time I turn around you and Sam are going at it. Hell, I think you're getting laid more then I am right now, and let me tell you sweetheart that's quite the accomplishment." His words sounded crude, and the tension in his tone told Haley he was holding back frustrations.

Suddenly understanding this wasn't just a friendly chat, that Dean was upset with her, Haley felt herself going on edge. She hated it when Dean was mad at her. She always wanted to sparkle in his eyes.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Her words came out hesitant and uneasy off her breath. Unsure of the answer he wanted in return to his accusations.

Taking a deep breath Dean could hear the nerves on her voice. His goal was never to frighten Haley, Dean took a moment to calm himself. Speaking again he tried to hold all tension from his tongue. "Why? Tell me why?" He pressed.

Feeling this conversation spiral deep in a way she didn't want expose herself, Haley tried to play naïve, and hope he'd give up. "I… I don't know. Because we're teenagers… I guess." Her voice meekly answered as she casually shrugged her shoulders, and choked down the emotion attempting to clog her throat.

Dean's piercing, heated eyes shot to her in an instant with her evasive answer.

"Haley…" His tone warned her not to lie, and to start getting honest.

His edging tone told her he didn't buy her dismissal, and he wasn't going to give up either. "Ok, ok…" Haley conceded with a heavy sigh as her eyes shot out the passenger window for escape, and her hands began to wring in her lap with the inner turmoil she was being forced to resurface.

"It's been a hard year. You know it's been a hard year." Haley barely started, and already the words were thickening with emotion as they slipped off her lips. Tears threatened to fill her eyes as the pain inside her reawakened with the truth Dean was insistent upon.

Hearing it in Haley's voice, the cracking, the pain, Dean suddenly realize how deep this ran for her. Always trying to be compassionate for her heart, Dean quickly pulled the car over onto a gravel turn off. As soon as he had the engine off, Dean's thick callused hand reached out, and grabbed hers in support.

Haley jumped a little with the surprise of his comforting gesture, but instantly the startle wore off, and she gripped his hand tightly in hers. Surprised by how much she needed his support in that moment if she was going to be able to do this.

Haley couldn't look at Dean, and make her confession. She couldn't bare to see the look in his eyes when he learned the ugly truth about her.

_I've been trying to make it home, Got to make it before too long, Ooh, I can't take this very much longer, No, I'm stranded in the sleet and rain, Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again, The mornin' sun is risin', It's kissing the day_

"That shape shifter," Haley's breath choked in her throat before strangling out as an assault of memories punished her mind. "He… He changed me. After he took me I just wasn't the same as before…" A shuttered burst exploded from her lips as she gripped his hand tighter, and tears finally swelled in her eyes. Though from this angle she thankfully knew Dean couldn't see them. "And then my dad died. The last of my family gone… It's, it's like part of me died too… I can't handle it." Haley admitted the hardest words she had shared in a long time as the first warm tears slipped down her pale cheeks.

Hearing the heartbreak on her breath wounded Dean. Her pain always had a way of cutting him to the bone. Dean felt something as sweet and fragile as Haley should never know that kind of pain. Reaching out to her, his fingers touched her chin, and gently pulled her face to his. Their eyes caught in the moment, honey brown and emerald green tangled. The sight of her tears hanging in her eyes, streaked down her delicate face stung Dean somewhere deep inside. Without a word, because words were never his best, Dean's palm slipped up her cheek. His thick thumb stroked her soft skin comfortingly, wiping her tears away as he leaned over, and softly kissed her forehead with love.

Returning to his side of the leather bound seat, Dean tried to digest what she had just revealed. What it meant, and the answer he came up with was almost more haunting then the secrets she had just spilled.

"Are you telling me you like a little nookie with Sam when you don't want to face those things?" The surprise was thick on his breath as it stumbled off his lips, and matched in his startled emerald eyes.

Feeling Dean's hand slip from her face with his shock, Haley felt frozen by his words, even her tears halted. She had never looked at it that way. It was never a systematic thing with Sam, and not every time they were together were her inner demons taunting her, but listening to what Dean was asking Haley had to admit to herself he wasn't entirely wrong.

Hating the way that answer felt ugly in her heart, Haley shook her head in protest.

"No… Maybe… I don't know. Dean, I love Sam. He makes it better. He fixes me." Haley stumbled over her answer. Her heart pounding with the implication of what they were saying, and how it terrified her, because she loved Sam, but in that moment Haley realized at times she had been unintentionally using their love for her own selfish reasons.

If Dean was startled by her revelations this last answer blew him away. Finally he realized she was more damaged then he ever imagined, and while he wanted to help her, was going to help her, Dean also had an obligation to protect Sammy too. From the moment he carried his baby brother from their burning house Dean knew Sam was his responsibility.

"I can't let you keep doing this, Hales. Sam's my little brother. It's my job to look out for him, and you're taking him down a twisted road that's gonna screw with his head. I know you don't mean to, but…" Dean's words ended unfinished. The devastated look in her eyes told him she was taking his message all wrong, and if he went any further he'd only make it worse.

Cast out in the cold, that's how Haley felt in that moment as she listened to him. Like all the years, and moments she and Dean shared were instantly erased by his blood bond to Sam, and if someone had to go it was her. Abandoned like everyone else had done to her.

Licking her lips, Haley forced the tears to stay inside her eyes as her breath choked up.

"Oh, so I'm just the screw up who's going to mess Sammy up? Got to protect your real family first… is that it?" Heart breaking in her chest, in that moment Haley couldn't stand to be next to Dean another second without crumbling. She was already hanging on by a thread. Without giving him a chance to explain Haley opened the heavy Impala door, and hopped out onto the gravel ground.

Gravel crunched under her tennis shoes as Haley moved quickly away from the black pearl Impala, and into the unknown, warm tears slipping down her face.

Hot on her trail, Dean took off after her as the sound of a few cars flew by along side. "Haley!" He called to her on his approach, something urgent filling his husky voice with a need to fix his mistake.

Her hurried pace never slowed it's step as she marched down the side of the highway. Haley tried to keep her distance from Dean, even though she could hear him just steps behind. "You don't need to explain! I get it!" She hollered back through sniffles as another round of tears tumbled off her eyes. Dean had always been there, been a support, and his words had stripped her bare in a way that cut her wide open inside.

Reaching her, Dean gripped Haley's shoulder, and forced her to halt. Quickly he came around to face her with an urgency in his step. Seeing her tears glisten in the setting sun light stole the breath from his lips knowing he caused them, as his rough textured palm quickly found her soaked cheek. "You don't get it. You're not even close." Dean promised her with certainty piercing his gaze as it blazed down on her.

"Damnit Haley, this whole thing is spinning out of control. Lately I've been watching you burn it from both ends. I'm losing you, baby girl. Your losing yourself." Desperation picked up on Dean's breath as his stunning eyes held such fire upon her. In the heat of the moment he found himself being honest with the fears he couldn't deny any longer. He didn't want her to end out like him. Dean wanted better for Haley.

His other hand lifted off her shoulder, so both his palms could cup her damp cheeks. Their eyes fused together with the weight of the moment. "I'm freaked your going so far off the reservation that you wont be able to come back. Where's my girl who could conquer the world with both hands tied behind her back? Where's my girl that didn't need a boy to patch her up?" Dean found his own gritty voice growing thick with emotion as he was brutally honest with Haley about the tragedy he didn't know how to stop, but that was breaking his heart.

Her face safely cradled in his hands, Haley crumbled against Dean's words, and the way they were so truthful it was terrifying. The alarmed look in his piercing emerald eyes as he gave it to her straight mirrored her own fear inside. Haley was finally forced to see she was disappearing, and the people who loved her most wanted to fight to keep her. Fresh salty tears slipped over her lips as she spoke from a heart so broken it wasn't sure how to mend. "I'm so lost, Dean. I don't know who I am anymore." Haley admitted the ugly truth as a sob choked up her throat, and off her quivering lip.

Witnessing Haley fall apart, Dean released her face, and pulled her to him. His strong arms wrapped around her fragile, trembling frame as he held her close. Feeling her cry against his chest as her hands clung desperately to him, Dean swore to himself he'd fix this. He'd take care of her.

"I know who you are, baby girl. I can still see that girl, and if it's the last thing I do, I'm going save you…." Dean soothed in a husky whispered promise as one hand held her tight, and the other softly stroked down her silky locks.

"You just can't go sneaking into Sam's pants anymore. That kinda screwing is only gonna make you more lost. Trust me I know… I got other ways to kill the pain, and so does Sammy, but not that, not anymore." Dean reached out to Haley, his heart aching in his chest for her. He tried to make sure she knew he was there with everything he had. While also trying to show her, her old ways wouldn't work anymore. They had to lean on each other if this was ever going to get better.

Haley's face pulled back just an inch from the safety of his strong chest as her tear swollen eyes shot up to Dean's. Silently she nodded in agreement. Knowing he was right. While secretly inside relieved she had been found out, and now maybe she could get the help she really needed.

_Oh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin', Ooh, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, Wheel in the sky keeps me yernin'Oh, I don't know… I don't know_

"_Wheel In The Sky" Jounrey_

**Note:** I didn't want it to seem like Dean was choosing Sam over Haley, but I wanted to show that Sammy is still Dean's world too. He loves both of those kids with everything he has.


	35. Chapter 35

**Unfortunate Slight**

_Josie's on a vacation far away, Come around and talk it over, So many things that I wanna say, You know I like my girls a little bit older_

Before the end of summer when Sam was the ripe old age of seventeen, John deemed it was time to hit the road with his youngest son, and get more one on one practice in the family business. The family business, Sam vehemently rejected. Picking an easy run of the mill haunting hunt John took Sam on a job he estimated could take an easy two weeks. Dragging out the time to give Sam more experience in a trade John just couldn't accept Sam hated.

That left Dean watching over Haley for weeks on end. Dean didn't mind though, Haley was his baby girl, his light in the darkness of his life. To be honest she took care of herself, and him for the most part. Let him do his own thing, and when they were together there was always easiness to their companionship. Their bond while always close, grew even stronger with the time alone. Especially since the end of that summer was extra hard on Dean. He experienced his first heart breaking break up with Cassie, the only girl he ever really gave his heart to. After that Dean was fine wasting his time between Haley who made his empty heart feel fuller, and making daily rounds at the bar as the summer came to a wined down.

After spending the night tossing back more then a few at the local dive bar, Dean stumbled back in the low end motel room to find music blaring, while Haley danced around the room in her barely modest pajama shorts and a long tank top. Like a typical sixteen year old girl, without a care in the world. Hips swaying, arms free in the air, as books, and junk food lie scattered across her bed. It was a pleasant surprise compared to her moody lows of loneliness when she missed Sam the most. Which was more often then not.

Slamming the door behind him to announce his return, Dean chuckled to himself with the sight of her. Dragging wobbly legs over to the nearest bed, he let his trademark leather jacket fall off onto the floor, before he crashed onto the mattress. Her spirit was a pleasant contrast to the stinging loss of his first love still fresh in Dean's heart. That didn't seem to lessen, no matter how much booze he tried to drown it in.

The startle from the door slamming quickly wore off as Haley whipped around, and realized it was Dean, back from the bar.

Turning down the music just enough to hear each other, Haley raced over to him. Still full of spirit, Haley took Dean's hands in hers, and pulled him to a sitting position. "Dance with me." She chimed, radiant smile beaming, as she tried to pull him to his feet.

Dean resisted, mumbling a drunken protest as his dead weight stayed glued to the bed. As comforting as Haley's warming presence was, there was still a part of Dean that wanted to sulk in his brooding misery.

Leaning down close to his face, Haley's honey orbs shined like a full moon in the dead of night. "Come on party pooper, you can't mope around about Cassie forever. Dance with me. I'll make you feel better." She pleaded playfully, before she pulled harder to lift him from the bed. Dean's intoxication level wasn't lost on her. It only served to fuel the fire, becoming Haley's new favorite time to tease him. She loved nothing more than picking on Dean when he had had a few too many. As far as she was concerned he brought it on himself.

His weight began to lift from the bed, and Dean felt himself loosing the battle, but he refused to surrender. Cassie's blatant rejection of who he truly was scorched a little extra hot tonight. Fueling his endless pits of self doubt.

Turning the tables on her, Dean finally gripped her hands in his, and pulled Haley in return.

He had only meant to tackle her to the bed so she would stop bugging him, and leave him to his misery, but Haley weaved as Dean yanked.

Before Dean could correct their miscalculation, Haley fell on him hard and fast. Dean's back hit the mattress with the force of his fall, Haley came tumbling after.

The breath ripped from his lips, as her weight slammed into his chest. Blinking open his emerald eyes, Dean stared up at the popcorn ceiling trying to gather his bearings and catch his breath.

He felt the weight lift from his chest, and settle straddled across his lap. He felt her palms flat on his chest to support her weight as Haley's smiling face came into view from above him, like the sun bursting through the clouds after the rain fall of his terrible night.

Laughter slipped freely off her lips with the sight of Dean's unfocused gaze, the dazed look in his emerald eyes. "Smooth move." She laughed teasingly at him.

_I ain't got many friends left to talk to, No one's around when I'm in trouble, You know I'd do anything for you, Stay the night but keep it undercover_

Blinking to try and find focus to his pupil, Dean sucked in a deep breath, as Haley's image blinded his sight.

Her long, blondish brown hair hung down like a wavy veil. Her captivating honey orbs caught his attention, and seeped into his soul, as her warmth filling smile rained down on him.

Dean's drunken vision blurred, as several images of Haley danced above him, all mesmerizing and calling. Promising peace to the endless ache within him that nothing else seem to numb. Suddenly, in that moment, Dean saw Haley different.

Maybe it was the countless shots of whiskey, or the fact that he hadn't dared to feel another woman since Cassie, and his palms were burning for touch, but in that light Dean saw Haley differently. The sight of her brought a wanting urge rumbling to life in his gut. One Dean had never felt toward Haley before, not ever. As if she was some sort of angel that could heal him, like she always had, but in a different way this time.

With the whiskey playing ringleader to the show, before Dean could think his actions through properly, his rough hand slipped up to cup her cheek. Touching her with a hidden intent he had never pursued before.

The amusement stilled on Haley's lips with his touch, her smile weakened, but lingered. "Dean?" Haley softly questioned him, as her honey eyes filled with confusion. Confused by the way his trademark heated stare was now hot upon her.

The soft suppleness of her skin offered relief and urged him on. Going with the moment, Dean licked his lips, and let the whiskey talk.

Their eyes locked with something magnetic as he slowly pulled her face down to his.

"It's ok, baby. It's really me." Dean's husky voice reassured in her decent, before softly capturing Haley's mouth in his embrace.

Shocked by the smooth plump texture of her pout, standing in stark contrast to everything ugly and lonely in his life, Dean tenderly kissed Haley again for relief.

Mouth unmoving, Dean felt Haley resist his pleasures at first. Before the seduction of his tender kiss broke her will, and he felt her lips faintly brush his, slowly kissing him back.

Gripping her cheek, Dean held her in place as he grew drunker off their kiss. The soft innocence of her touch banished his self hating darkness somewhere far away.

Quiet sensual caresses slipped between their lips before Dean took it further. Loosing himself in the booze, the oldies music humming in the background, and the way up close she smelled like intoxicating wild flowers.

His free hand found her hip, he gripped the curve under his course palm. Driven by a need his month of celibacy had brought on, and the way her light was blinding the darkness inside of him.

All thoughts lost except for the solace her companionship was bringing him. Dean felt Haley's hot uneven breath hit his lips as their mouths parted for air.

Knowing he excited her in just the right ways, his heart sped up. Tenderly capturing her lower lip in his pout, Dean swept his tongue across it with a silent request, and her mouth parted on instinct, allowing him in.

Her hands tangled around the back of his neck as his strong hands balanced her out, Haley's mind went blank when their lips melted together. The sensation of his kiss was soft and seducing, she could barely think as the moment unfolded surreal like a dream. Mind filling with haze, Haley wasn't even sure if this was real or an elaborate dream she would wake from any moment. The acoustic guitar melody filtered through her ears as his eager leading lips felt delirious and intoxicating in a way she had never experienced before, in a way that made it almost impossible to think.

Her gentle kiss drove Dean on. His wicked tongue slowly edged inside her warm mouth to explore. Teasing and tasting everything it touched. Heat flooding inside, Dean never realized Haley had curves he could feel under his palms, or a kiss that could tear him apart. He never stopped to think about the damage all of this would cause when they actually came back down to earth.

His strong arm hooked securely around her back, and with what drunken effort he could muster Dean managed to roll them on the mattress. Pinning Haley's body beneath him, Dean was trapped between her creamy thighs as he gained better assess to her from this position. If her mouth was any indication of her sweetness he wanted to taste what he knew must be sweet like candy skin. Dean broke from Haley's lips as his hot hungry mouth found her soft smooth neck. Her sweet taste filled his mouth as he nibbled and kissed his way down the curve of her neck. Flush beneath him, Dean could feel Haley's breath growing heavier and rapid as she slipped away under his lavishing.

Quiet uncontrollable whimpers that he could hear her trying to muffle kept slipping from her lips, and Dean knew he was doing what he did best… taking her to delirious places.

Lonely hands that needed Haley in a way they had never before made a move. One hand under her back braced his weight. While the other hand slipped down to the curve of her hip, and hooked his thumb under the brim of her cotton shorts and panties. Slowly inching the fabric down while stroking her tempting supple skin hidden beneath that was calling to him.

Lost in the moment, Haley had never experienced this kind of expertise before. To say they were on different experience levels was an understatement. He was a tidal wave crashing in her shallow shore waves. Her hands laced around the back of Dean's neck, Haley was consumed by the way his hands and mouth felt rougher, and more skilled in their advance then anything she was use to.

_Trying to stop my hands from shakin', Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense, It's been a while since we were all alone, I can't hide the way I'm feelin'_

Her hazy mind noted the way the stubble of his facial hair felt rough against her neck, almost like a burning tickle. Something Sam's baby face didn't do when he kissed her. That comparison was the defining moment as Haley felt Dean's hand release her hip, and begin to slide up the outline of her figure, taking her shirt with him. This was the moment of clarity when Haley realized what she was doing, and that this wasn't a dream, or anything of the sort. This was really happening. She was actually cheating on a Sam with Dean. The realization hit her hard, her eyes shot wide open as a suffocating pain stabbed through her chest. Heart pounding a mile a minute, Haley couldn't do this. This wasn't like her. It went against everything she believed, and she undeniably loved Sam too much to hurt him this way.

"Dean," His name slipped from Haley's labored breath filling the space around them as her big eyes stared up at the popcorn ceiling. The oceans of nervous uncertainty in her voice begged him to stop what she wasn't sure how. Blindly her hands reached down, pulling his hand from her waist as the other gave his shoulder a little push.

Lost in the moment, before his drunken mind could process her plea, Dean leaned back up for her lips, but this time Haley turned away, evading him.

His piercing emerald eyes shot open, and instantly hit her big startled honey orbs that looked like they were about to break.

"Stop… please." She begged him as her lower lip began to quiver. In that earth rocking moment Dean saw her for who she was, and not what he wanted her to be… just his baby girl, Haley.

Her cry hit Dean then, like a plane crashing to the earth. He had been kissing Haley… His body still on top of her, his hands had been touching Haley. Sacred, innocent, underage Haley that Dean saw more like a non-blood related, little sister than he would ever see as an actual woman. He had been locked inside her mouths embrace, while she was caressed by the palms of his hands.

He had allowed his inner demons to run free, and take her body for his own escape, while it was her heart he loved. No amount of booze could have lessened the blow of Dean's realization. Taking matters quickly into his hands, the hands that were supposed to protect her, not caress her, Dean rolled off Haley, and fell back on the mattress.

Dean took rapid deep breaths to cool down as his eyes opened, and the popcorn ceiling came into view once again.

"Stupid, son of a…," Dean muttered under his breath, cursing himself.

The world still spinning in his sight, with labored effort, Dean rolled onto his side to face her.

Nervous trepidation hung in Haley's big honey orbs waiting for him. Her lower lip punished between her teeth.

Reaching out slowly to comfort her, Dean cupped her cheek once again, and quietly apologized with slurring lips. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

Dean's heart broke, as he watched tears fill her eyes, but not fall. Haley's lips parted, as her quiet voice trembled out a name. "Sam."

Dean didn't need her to say more, her unspoken feelings of betrayal came in loud and clear. Hearing his brother's name sent a fury of guilt stabbing through his heart. Not only had Dean crossed the line with Haley, but he had single handedly betrayed his brother in the worst way possible. By taking what meant most to Sammy in the world, and pretending as if it was his.

Stoking her cheek gently with his thumb, despite all the whiskey Dean managed to make his eyes focus and lock on hers. His voice came to life, quiet and full of assurance. "Nobody has to know about this, Hales… My fault, I shouldn't have touched you like that." Dean managed to offer without stumbling on his words. Taking the blame he felt was solely his.

Sad tears still loomed in her gaze, but silently Haley nodded in agreement to keep quiet, her eyes barreling into him with her guilt.

His hand slipped from her cheek, and fell to her shoulder, before he tugged her his way.

Surrendering to Dean, her family and someone she loved dearly, Haley rested to her face gently on his flannel shirt covered chest.

Dean wrapped strong arms around her frame holding her near, while suddenly so aware of where he shouldn't touch her, and the way her body felt stiff beside him.

Silently they stayed there, both trying to come to terms with their actions, while Dean also tried to sober up.

_As you leave me please would you close the door, and don't forget what I told you, Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong, Another shoulder to cry upon_

Pulling away suddenly, Dean heard quiet words mumble from her lips. "I'm going to go change." Haley called in her rapid departure. Finally killing the music along her way.

Locked inside in the bathroom, in a hurry Haley yanked sweatpants on her bare legs, then wrapped herself in one of Sam's giant jackets. Covering all exposed skin, her mind was spinning from the last few minutes. Finally alone with herself, Haley found the courage to look in the mirror, and see her image for what it was. Her orbs fell to her betraying lips first. Her fingers ran over the plump flesh as the memories flashed through her mind, the supple of his lips, the hunger of his mouth, the way when he kissed her it felt so good even though it shouldn't have. Weary eyes fell to her neck next that still felt the fading sensation of Dean's ravaging. Her faint finger tips fell to the slopped flesh, lightly touching the already forming love bites that marked her for what she was… a traitor. Zipping the cotton jersey jacket up as high as it would go. Her heart pounded hard with betraying guilt as Haley strategically placed her silky locks in front of her, hiding her neck.

In an instant Sam's scent filtered off his cotton jacket, and snuck up her nose. Haley's mind flooded with cherished memories of her beloved Sam. A boy who loved her more then anyone else in the world dared to, her always and forever, her meant to be. Remembering the way his soft puppy dog eyes shined on her like she was the only girl in the world. How when he smiled his goofy sweet smile at her Haley was sure she had never seen anything more beautiful. The way when his skin moved flush against hers it felt like ecstasy and home all tangled up. The way his love through their connection could heal her from the inside out.

Her buried inappropriate attraction to Dean, his brother cut Haley deep, finally revealing it would cost her what meant most to her heart, to her soul. Cheating was despicable, but they were brothers, that's unforgivable. Haley's stomach muscles tightened as her knees buckled against the crushing weight on her heart. Faltering under the strain, limbs trembling, Haley crouched low against the bathroom wall and floor as a gasping sob shook in her chest, and agonizing warm tears slipped down her face.

The guilty betrayal and impending loss rushed through her veins as the tears grew chokingly hard. Lashing out, Haley slammed her open palm against the wall in protest of herself. That's when Sammy's face came to haunt her. His broken devastated face with his betrayed puppy dog eyes flashed through her mind. Knowing him like the other half of her soul, she knew exactly how Sam would look when he found out she had forsaken their love, and Haley's stomach uncontrollably flipped against such an painful image. As if she had just watched herself pull the trigger, and blow him away. The bile shot quick up her throat, leaving her only seconds to spare as she lunged for the toilet before it all came out. Chocking and gagging, her dinner came back up into the porcelain bowl as hot tears continued to run down her face.

Lingering until she was sure nothing else was going to come up, Haley staggered to the sink. Rising her mouth before splashing her face over and over again, trying to get it together.

Drowning in the ugly truth she knew inside, Haley could have easily gotten completely lost in her torture, and would have if Dean wasn't waiting outside.

Knowing she had taken too long already, not wanting him to come looking for her, Haley wiped her face dry, and stepped to the door on weak legs.

Dean watched as she emerged from the bathroom after what seemed like forever, the sound of her retching still haunted his mind. Fully covered in baggy sweatpants, and a jacket zipped up to her neck. Dean's heart sunk knowing Haley was either dressed like that to hide from him, or because she got the idea in her head her outfit had been part of the problem.

Coming to his side once again, Haley's gentle touch took Dean's hands, dragging him into a sitting position again. "Let's get you ready for bed." She quietly explained her justifications for touching him.

Their eyes met briefly, and Dean could see a throbbing hurt in Haley's orbs. Blaming him, blaming herself, Dean wasn't sure which, but he felt probably a little of both.

Haley's eyes dropped from his, as her delicate fingers began to unbutton his flannel over-shirt. Taking care of him in the face of all obstacles, she was loyal until the end.

Wrapping his course hands around hers, Dean stilled her movements as he called to her. "Hales… baby girl." His gritty voice begged.

Her giant, all encompassing honey orbs lifted to Dean's piercing green. He licked his lips wanting to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. They couldn't form against the sight of the powerful pain in her eyes. He was dying to reassure her, to fix this, but his tongue tied, the words wouldn't budge.

Somehow Haley saw it though, without his voice needing to express it. He was sure it must be something in his eyes, but silently Dean watched as light softened her iris just a little, and a gentle smile lifted her lips. "I know," Haley reassured.

Cupping his prickly face in her hands, Haley quickly leaned in, and placed a gentle kiss upon his forehead. Pulling back slightly, she lingered with a message. "I love you too." She still felt the same for him, she didn't blame him. She blamed herself, Haley knew better then most everyone is responsible for their own actions.

Dean's eyes closed as he felt her affection he wasn't sure he deserved. He could finally breath again knowing she at least knew he loved her.

Quickly he wrapped secure arms around her, pulling Haley close. Dean wasn't sure how his fall from hero had happened. He knew there was a potent combination of the booze and missing Cassie, coupled with a deep seeded self hatred that didn't know restraint, but either way Dean swore to himself he would never let it happened again.

He would never hurt her in such a way again, because she was more important then the demons inside him any day. Because the devastation on her face would haunt him for the rest of her his days.

_I just wanna use your love tonight, I don't wanna lose your love tonight_

_Outfeild, "Your Love"_

**So before you chase me through the streets with pitch forks hear me out. Here is the point for all of that…**

Dean is a deeply flawed character as anyone who's watched SPN knows. That's what this chapter is meant to show. Dean has huge women issues because of his mom's death and growing up without her. So when he finally fell in love (Cassie) and opens himself up to her. Told her the truth about him (Hunting, everything), and she rejects him in turn, dumps him. Dean's heart is completely broken. He closes off, staying away from women, wounded from what happened, but women are one of his many dysfunctional coping mechanisms. He holds off, tucked away until one drunken night he can't keep his weaknesses locked up any longer, and they burst free. That's where Haley comes in. The only woman/girl left in his life that he loves, that matters deeply to him. In his drunken desperate moment he turns to those sacred feelings of affection for her to numb his soul, quiet the empty pain within, and hurt himself while ultimately hurting her too.

So what are Haley's reasons? It's explained next chapter but the best way I can sum it up is, she's young and naive. She trusts Dean completely and loves him (not in love). So she was confused by what happened. She wasn't even sure it was really happening at first. And yes, her body liked it, the way anyone's would. Dean is an experienced man, he knew how to make it 'feel good' if you will, but her heart knew it was wrong, and not happening because he loved her. She didn't fight harder to stop it because she's so inexperienced and swept up in it, she wasn't totally sure how. The only boy who's ever touched her before this is Sam, and he's only touched her with love. Haley knew he was drunk and this wasn't about love, but she also knows Dean does love her. Making the situation very confusing, and that's why at the end she begged him to stop it.

Also, for those that noticed a similarity to the Haley/Sam chapter two chapters ago. You're right. It is similar only Dean wasn't hoping Haley could fix him as much as he just wanted her to numb the pain.

Ok, I'm sure some of you still want to kill me. So… now you can shoot…


	36. Chapter 36

_Part 2:_

_**Locked In, Buried Under My Skin**_

_Secret hidden underneath it_

_Trying hard to keep it safely out of reach_

_Creeping, I can feel it breathing_

_Crawling to the surface only in my dreams_

Dean awoke the next morning with a hangover from hell. Memories of the previous night flooded in his mind, and pierced his brain with the same velocity of the throbbing in is skull from the waning liquor.

Sitting up in bed his head pounded with the swift motion. Reaching for his throbbing head, Dean easily spotted Haley seated at the table sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup. The sight of her hit him like a train running off the tracks, it made him visibly cringe as guilt suffocated his heart.

Before Dean had a chance to speak, Haley beat him to it. "Breakfast is on the table, aspirin on the nightstand." She spoke nonchalantly, but never turned to look at him. Her distance spoke volumes, saying what words didn't capture.

Popping two pills down his dry throat, Dean staggered over to the cheap metal motel table, and took a heavy seat in the plastic covered chair.

Haley pushed a greasy breakfast sandwich, with coffee to match in front of him, then silently went back to sipping her caffeine.

The silence was deafening between them, the tension so thick they could cut it with a knife. It hadn't been like this between them since she first moved in with the Winchesters, it was heart breaking.

After taking a much needed sip of black coffee to jolt his system, Dean's eyes glanced Haley's way, and instantly caught sight of a few purplish blemishes along her neck. His gut tightened, realizing he had actually marked her in his frenzy, Dean faced the inevitable. Being the adult, he brought up the elephant in the room. "Haley…" He started, his morning voice coming off thick and gritty, but she cut him off before he could get anything of substance out.

Her penetrating honey eyes finally shot to him with a begging in the iris. "Dean, please don't make this weirder than it is. You don't need to explain. I get it, you were drunk. Now can we just forget about it?" Haley pleaded for him to be mute and forgetful. Instantly she caught his gaze on her neck, and without words knew what he was looking at. Insecure under the tortured look in his eyes, Haley covered her hickey's with her palm.

Shaking his head lightly, as not to aggravate his already pounding skull, Dean said no that wasn't an option.

"No Haley, we can't. What you said is true, but what I did last night… that wasn't ok. I should have never kissed you. Let alone everything else. You know how I am, but the things I do…" Dean paused, and let out a heavy sigh. The thought of his actions surged through his throbbing brain, as the desire behind his advances stabbed his heart with guilt, because they were anything but innocent.

Licking parched lips, Dean found the courage to continue. "The things I'm into are not things you should be involved in. I know you've already… but this is different." He spoke low on his breath, burdened by his words, but full of honesty, because she deserved nothing less. Hoping inside, his actions hadn't hurt her in ways she was too young to understand, especially since she was already on such rocky ground. That what happened hadn't permanently betrayed their trust.

_Locked in, buried under my skin_

_Riding on the whispers_

_Restless in the wind_

_Hunted I can feel it coming_

_Keep me under cover in what could have been_

Haley's gaze lifted from the caramel colored coffee, and pinned Dean, her iris unrelenting and deep as a canyon.

"Is that what you wanted from me?" Haley dared to ask him on a quiet breath, her fingers fidgeting with the Styrofoam cup from nerves, because she understood the unspoken words.

With her penetrating eyes upon him, Dean couldn't lie, but in the clarity of daylight the sparkling innocence and fragileness he saw in her eyes returned. His gut tightened, forced to see how wrong he had truly been with her last night.

"I don't know… probably." Dean edged around the truth to Haley's question, hesitant to admit how inappropriate he had been with someone who meant so much to him.

His answer didn't surprise Haley, she had felt it last night while he moved atop her. What he wanted, and it wasn't just to kiss, but seeing how troublesome it was for Dean to admit that made Haley feel guilty as if some how she had caused this. As if she should have known to keep her distance from him last night. The disappointment clouding Dean's emerald eyes made her gaze drop, unable to look at it another second without cringing.

Biting her lower lip, Haley nodded silently, as she began to pick at her donut.

Finally daring to touch her, Dean reached out, and lightly placed his course hand over hers, stilling her nervous movements. Sensing she may be taking this onto herself, Dean tried to explain it better.

"This isn't your fault, Hales. I kissed you. I did this, and it wasn't right. I never wanted you to see that side of me. I could have hurt you." Piercing emerald eyes showed how he was guilt riddled and vulnerable to his limits with the words he was saying. With the ugly truth they required, but Haley was worth stepping out of his comfort zone to make sure she understood what happened.

Dean's gruff voice and the way he cared was safe in its familiarity, as Haley's timid gaze lifted to catch his. Opening up, she needed to take her share of the responsibility.

"No, don't even think that. You could never hurt me. It wasn't just your fault, you know. I kissed you back. I didn't try to stop you until the end." Her voice rang strong, but the nerves behind it were clear to see in her big honey eyes. Dean's honesty spurred on her own. Haley respected him for saying what he did. Knowing how difficult it is for him to open up, like standing naked in a crowd.

A spark of mischief curiosity filled Dean's piercing emerald eyes to her words.

"Yeah, about that, why didn't you?" He questioned her with an arched brow.

_Sweet despair feel you devour me_

_Silently oh wont you carry me home_

_Taken down I give into it_

_I can't disguise, I surrender_

_Broken down I give into what I cannot hide_

_I surrender, I surrender_

Feeling something flutter inside against his intense stare, Haley dropped her eyes. Knowing it was those very cursed feelings that had gotten her in trouble to begin with.

"It was you," She answered simply with a shrug to her shoulders, as her big doe eyes darted back up to him.

"I trust you." The easy way the words slipped from her lips stood testament to the truth behind them.

A sour grin edged on Dean's lips, as his face cringed. He knew she hadn't meant it to, but that one hurt. Knowing he had not only crossed a line with her body, but betrayed her trust too.

"That's good. I want you to trust me, but it's also ok to tell me no when I'm wrong too." Dean's hand squeezed hers, trying to reassure. Letting know her, she doesn't have to jump off a bridge just because he says so.

Haley bit her lower lip nervously, as butterflies surged in her gut again before she attempted to push them down. Her eyes drifted to their shared hands, as a confession slipped from her lips.

"I know, but I think… maybe… I liked it." She admitted quietly. Even confessing that filled her with a conflicted tingling and guilt.

A chuckle slipped from Dean's lips, as her adorable honesty brought a lighthearted realism to the moment.

"Of course you did. It was me, baby girl. When I kiss a woman she knows it." Dean tossed out with a cocky grin, as a spark filled his teasing eyes.

A grin slipped over Haley's lips with Dean's playful conceited comment. It's common place in their lives setting her at ease, as her honey eyes found him again.

"Well aren't you self assured." She laughed at him with a roll to her eyes.

Seriousness grew in Dean's piercing emerald eyes, as their gaze locked.

"You're never going to be one of those women to me, Hales." Seeing her beautiful smile, sharing their carefree banter, Dean's heart reached for her, as his hand did the same to her supple cheek.

"You mean more to me then they ever could." He made his own confession, one that came solely from his heart. A task not easy for Dean, but he felt she not only deserved it, but needed it.

"Thanks, Dean" A smile warmed her face with his words that touched her soul, and made her feel full with love, before a cloud came in over head.

Sadness filled Haley's eyes as a moment of truth came to her. While their conflict felt resolved the worst of the storm hadn't even rolled in yet. "Sam's not going to understand this." She said simply, but the heartache was heavy on her breath.

Being reminded of the beast that was as of yet to be released, Dean let out a heavy sigh. He wanted to fill her with reassurance, but he knew she was right. He had wronged his little brother in ways he wasn't sure could be fixed.

Seeing her pain though, Dean offered her the same out he did the night before as his thumb brushed her cheek softly.

"You don't have to tell him. It was just a mistake." Dean didn't like the idea of lying to Sam anymore then Haley did, but he didn't want to see her in more discomfort from his actions then what had already been suffered. Dean had no choice about handling Sammy hating him, but he wasn't sure he could handle watching Sammy hate Haley because of something he dragged her into.

Haley's honey eyes pinned Dean, saying without words that wasn't an option. Silence wasn't something she could keep, not from Sammy.

Nodding, Dean understood. While not part of their special bond, he had seen it long enough from the sidelines to know they shared everything.

"He'll get over it. He's gonna hate me, but he loves you, Hales." Dean spoke, hoping to sound convincing. The impending doom of hurting his brother, and possibly loosing him forever, weighed so heavy on Dean he almost felt like he was suffocating. It had just been him and Sammy from the start. Dean didn't know who he was without Sam.

Tears filled her eyes, but didn't fall, as Haley lightly shook her head in disagreement.

"I don't think so. I don't think he will forgive this." Emotion choked her voice.

Leaning over Dean placed a quick comforting kiss on her forehead, his lips proof of his love and support as he fought the urge to cringe. Fearing she was right, and they were both about to loose the person that meant most to them in the world.

A radiant but weak smile twitched on her face like fading fireworks in the sky. Touched he loved her as much as he did, and the way he was always there for her.

The mark was permanent on their record, but at least it wouldn't be a crime they held against each other. While Sam was a different case that remained to be seen.

_Don't make a sound now_

_Don't make a sound now_

_Maybe it wont find us after all_

_Carry me home_

"_Surrender" Digital Daggers_


	37. Chapter 37

_**The Beast You've Made Of Me**_

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me, I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free, Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart, Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart_

Four days after Dean and Haley crossed the line, Dad and Sam returned home. Just in the nick of time, Haley's heart was so burdened by her mistake, she wasn't sure she could live with herself another day if she didn't see her Sam.

The day Sam was due back, Haley could hardly contain herself. She had been on a high since waking with his impending arrival, and when she heard the distinct rumbled of that muscle car, Haley raced out into the parking lot to greet him as soon as it parked.

As Sam stepped out of the passenger side door, Haley tackled him. Jumping into his strong arms, she secured her arms and legs around him, claiming him as her own. Elation rushed through her veins, as Haley buried her face in the crook of his rustic smelling neck.

Feeling the grip of death she had upon him, Sam held her equally tight. "I'm ok," He reassured her unspoken question.

The pair barely noticed as Dean joined Dad at the car for a welcome home, so lost in their own world.

Pulling back, Haley met Sam's eyes, whiskey and chestnut intertwined.

"I missed you." She beamed, as the joy burst from her smile, shining blindingly in her eyes.

Their gaze lost between them, they were in a world of their own.

"I missed you too." Sam quickly answered back. His heart practically burst from his chest to having his girl near again.

The look between them palpable, the unspoken desperate urge for a kiss shared in their gaze, but both knew that wasn't an option. Not with their current company. Needing to release the burn in her belly that called for Sam, Haley buried her face back in the crook of his neck, and stole a few kisses along his salty skin where dad wouldn't notice the brush of her lips.

His hand braced under her butt, holding her against him. Sam's other hand's tangled in her silky hair, as his eyes fluttered close cherishing the feel of her lips on him one second longer.

John cleared his throat loudly. Glancing over his shoulder at dad, the intense warning in his pupil brought Sam back to reality.

"I gotta put you down now." Sam whispered against Haley's smooth locks. Knowing they had already more than aroused suspicion.

Nodding against his neck, Sam reluctantly had Haley back on her feet in seconds.

Never hesitating Haley jumped into gear as the doting daughter. A place hold that was genuine and true to her heart. Racing over to John, she wrapped him in a big hug.

"Hi dad." Her radiant smile beamed up at him as Haley put the look of innocence in her eyes, something she did very well.

"Hey sweetheart," He chimed back, a gentle grin formed around his whiskered face as he returned the hug. "Take care of Dean for me?" He asked jokingly as he tousled her hair.

Everyone knew Dean was supposed to look after Haley, everyone also knew she was the more responsible one.

Haley and Dean's eyes met with Dad's question, their secret passed between their pupils, as her heart ached with the silence it required.

Looking back up at dad, Haley forced a smile. "You know it." She delivered the proper response.

Taking Sam's duffle bag from the trunk, while Dean grabbed Dads, they all ventured back into the confines of the motel room.

_Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack, My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out, The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound, I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground_

Later that night, Dad had gone out to the bar, which meant he wouldn't be back until dawn, and even then he'd be hammered beyond cognitive thought when he returned. After a hunt John always liked to drown his haunted memories in whiskey.

Dad had sent Dean on orders to watch Haley and Sam, especially after the little stunt they pulled in the parking lot, but Dean had different plans.

After the slip up with Haley, he needed to go out, and let his downstairs brain take the lead. He knew the dynamic duo needed time too, even if dad didn't understand that. However Dean had a trick or two up his sleeve to make sure the kids didn't go all the way when he didn't want them too, and he tucked it in his pocket for assurance.

Not clueless in any sense, upon his departure with a wicked grin, Dean warned.

"Don't let dad catch you two, and try to keep most of your cloths on." He said with a chuckle at their expense before disappearing out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Haley went to the dead bolt, and locked it. She had missed Sam more then she knew was possible, like her heart had been out wandering the roads without her. It had taken every shred of will Haley had to keep herself away from him until they were finally alone, but she resolve was quickly cracking.

Spinning on her heels to face him, a smile busted on her lips for Sam, like heaven's light shining down.

"I missed you." Haley admitted again, before coyly biting her lower her lip, trying to hold the giddy feeling in. She was unable to keep her need for him inside any longer without combusting.

Sam's trademark heart warming smile shot across his face just for her. He could practically feel the excitement coming off her like a contagious disease.

"I missed you." Sam repeated with just as much heart.

In a second Haley went to him, Sam barely registered she moved until his back hit the bed. Looking up, Sam realized he was trapped between Haley and the lumpy old mattress, the shinning beauty of smile hanging above him.

Quickly she dove to her home in the crook of his neck, as her arms tangled around him, holding him as close as she could get. Sam didn't wait a second to return the embrace, holding Haley just as tight. The depth of their longing for each other was spoken without words in their embrace. It had been like the longest drought, and together again there were heavy showers.

Her nose grazed the curve of his neck, as Haley's hot breath splashed his skin.

"I missed being close to you." She admitted, something desperate hinged in her words.

_The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress, Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest, The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound, I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground_

_And howl_

Leaning up, in a second Haley's lips were warm against his. The feel of her needy kiss, subsided the ach in Sam's soul for her, as their mouths tangled in a heated embrace. They kissed with longing and passion. Her heart bursting to life the way it only did when Sam was near, because he completed her in ways so profound she couldn't even explain them, but she could feel them, surging through her heart. Haley broke the kiss as her lips traced his jaw line, and down his neck with a feverish need to feel him. Her heart wishing she could just melt into him, and become one where the error of her mistakes would disappear.

"Closer, I need to be as close as we can get." Haley confessed with urgency. After what she had done while he was gone, Haley felt frenzied inside to show him how much she loved him. How no one came above him.

Deliciousness rushed through Sam's veins and clouded his mind with her hot moist mouth. All he wanted to do was get lost in her, but Sam had to bring up an important point before they got too swept up. Always putting her first, because he loved her more then anything he could ever desire.

"Hales," Sam called, when her lips continued their delicate dance, and he felt her fingers slip up is shirt, along the grooves of his stomach, he called again.

"Haley," His breath more insistent this time, with every one of her kisses breaking his will, Sam had to make her stop before he stopped trying.

Hearing the tone in his voice, Haley realized Sam wasn't just murmuring her name, and ceased her lavishing. Leaning back up on him, Haley met Sam's eyes with question in her gaze.

A gentle warming smile awaited her on Sam's lips while intoxication swirled in his whiskey eyes from her kiss.

"I don't have anything. Do you?" He questioned with a heavy heated breath.

The way she looked breathtakingly stunning upon him, her kiss still in his memory, Sam had to fight for every clear thought.

Seeing the look on Sam's face filled Haley with the deepest sense of satisfaction. Knowing she could do that to him, take him to that place, but Sam was right. That was one of the things she loved most about him, he always thought it through.

A pout filled her lower lip with disappointment. "He took them with him. I saw him shove them in his pocket." Referring to Dean, who they always took their protection from. He was their 24hr mini-mart stop, which was the easiest way since Dean offered, and always had them on hand.

Taking control, because she could see in Sam's eyes he was hanging on by thread, Haley climbed off his lap, and fell back on the mattress beside him.

Sam let an out a disappointed heavy breath, and rolled onto his side to face her. Those same temping, calling lips taunted him at first sight. "I want you. God, I want you." Sam confessed from his heart, and something primal that was hungry for only her. He had missed her like air when under water, and nothing brought them closer then this.

Sam's gut tightened with a need to be near her, his heart raced with love at the sight of her. Tempting his will to hold out, Sam's hand reached over, and gently his thumb grazed her pout. As Haley's lips kissed his finger tip, Sam felt himself crumbling. The need too strong, he knew there was no way he'd be able to keep his hands off her all night. Not after waiting so long to be near her.

"Maybe we could just fool around. You know, not all the way." His heated breath offered her, as if it was Haley who was collapsing under the pressure. His hand slipped under her shirt, inching it up before he a placed a few sensual kisses on her smooth belly. Capturing her sensitive skin in the gentle hold of his pout as illustration for what he meant.

Delirious murmurs slipped from her lips until he stopped, and lifted to meet her eyes for her answer.

A smile shot wide on Haley's face, needing him as much as he needed her. Her fingers laced in his ruffled locks as she pulled his face down to meet hers. Sam fell onto her as the kiss instantly reignited with a flame raging out of control.

The distance had been too far, the duration too long, as soon as their lips met again and their hands found each other, all was lost.

Thought a second sensory to the feel of their hearts desire, the burning need. Their connection deeper then the earth's core filled them both, as the world disappeared and only they remained.

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers, Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters, A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright_

"_Howl" By Florence & the Machine_


	38. Chapter 38

**Warning: **This chapter is Highly Emotional

_**Part Two: You Lost Me**_

_We had magic and this is tragic_

_You couldn't keep your hands to yourself_

Haley awoke a few hours later, naked in the sheets, tangled up in Sam's fleshy warmth. Gazing upon her love as he lie inches from her face, a man she would move heaven and earth for if he asked, her heart splintered, the edges falling away. He had just made sweet passionate love to her in the most beautiful of ways while a secret lie hidden away in her heart. Haley had never held a secret against Sam, not like this, the guilt and weight from it was suffocating her.

Sucking in a deep breath of his distinct scent, Haley gently untangled from him. Grabbing Sam's discarded tee-shirt off the floor, Haley pulled it on, and wandered over to the table chair set. Taking a quiet seat on the plastic vinyl, warm tears slipped down her cheeks. Watching Sam peacefully sleep, for the first time ever Haley felt she didn't deserve him, and it broke her heart.

Sam woke minutes later, somehow sensing Haley's absence. Sitting up in bed he easily spotted her. Knees tucked under her chin, tears gleaming on her cheeks as her stifles made her whole body shake. Rapidly pulling on his boxers Sam went to her, but before he could reach her, Haley jumped away.

"Don't," Haley pleadingly warned him, shooting up from the chair. Backing from him slowly, as the concern in his eyes only broke her guilty heart worse, sent more regretful tears from her eyes.

"Hales, what's wrong?" Sam cautiously asked, standing still in the middle of room, because she wouldn't let him near her, and yet he couldn't step away, not when she was so clearly falling apart. He'd always be there for her. He just needed to know what was wrong.

Sam's eyebrow furrowed, "Are you worried because we just…" He started, but Haley cut him off, already knowing what he was trying to say.

"I love you, Sammy. More then I'll ever love anything. I need you to know that." Haley admitted on a weak breath out of the blue, as her chest rattled with the emotion, and a violent sob rattled up her constricting chest.

Confusion filled Sam's eyes, not understanding why her words were bringing her so much pain, but feeling the throbbing in his heart coming off her, he knew they were.

"I know, I love you too," Sam tried to reassure with cautious lips, as apprehension began to fill his heart. There was something she was holding back, something so bad it was practically killing her to hold it in, he could feel it like impending doom.

"Something happened while you were gone." Haley whispered through tear drenched lips, before she lost the courage, because she couldn't keep this from him. Part of her had wanted to, hoped she could keep him, but upon Sam's arrival, looking into his eyes, making love with him, Haley knew it wasn't possible to live a lie. She loved him too much to make a fool of him, and pretend like nothing happened.

Sam's eyebrow furrowed deeply, as anxiousness filled his sensitive whiskey eyes, and dread pummeled his gut. His lips wanted to move, but they couldn't find life. Paralyzed by fear of what she was going to say.

"Dean and I kissed." Haley's breath quietly admitted, as her lower lip trembled with the weight of her words. Her arms encircled herself for comfort and strength to follow through. Her breath shook hard as tears kept her face soaked, and her heart prepared for execution.

The disbelief hit Sam's puppy dog eyes first. "What?" The words fumbled from his lips with the initial shock, almost unsure he had heard her right. His heart stuck in suspended motion, praying it wasn't true, and wouldn't have to break into a million pieces.

"He was drunk, and it just happened. It was a mistake. It didn't mean anything." Haley rambled, as the tears stilled on her face. The hurt look in his eyes enough to momentarily freeze her. The look in Sam's eyes was a shot to her heart, she could feel it mortally wounded. While the confession was freeing, his reasonable response was her death sentence.

As the words sunk in, the anger instantly found a home within him in an attempt to protect his bleeding wounded heart.

"You what? What do you mean you kissed? What kind of kiss?" Sam's voice grew rough, as he interrogated. His heated injured eyes narrowing in on her. The anger holding the pain at bay.

Knowing she owed him the truth no matter how painful, Haley recounted the moment as she remembered it in her mind. "We were just playing around… I, I accidentally fell on him while he was on the bed, and he kissed me, we kissed each other… and then we didn't stop… not, right away." She revealed, the words leaving her desolate and empty inside. As she truly realized how a few lost minutes of her life would tarnish a sacred bond built over a lifetime.

_And we tried, Oh, How we cried,_

_We lost ourselves, the love has died,_

_And though we tried you can't deny,_

_We're left as shell's, we lost the fight_

"You made out with Dean on the bed? How could you do that?" Sam lost all composure as his voice rose in volume, what Haley was saying was deafening to his ears it was so painful. She had cheated on him. The girl who was his heart and soul, his diamond in the rough of his miserable life, had cheated on him, with his brother no less. Her revelation shot through him like a bullet, and left him bloody in his hands.

Seeing that look in his eyes, the look she knew meant it was taking every ounce of strength for him not to completely loose it, Haley shut up, but nodded her head in confirmation.

Shaking his head in disbelief, as the betraying images filled his tortured mind, Sam found wounding words slipping from his lips too. "You always did like him." Sam spoke low with spite as tears stung his wounded eyes from the feel of his heart breaking inside his chest. As he felt the thing that was most important to him… her, being ripped away. Finally Sam realized that tiny warning voice inside had been right about her and Dean all along.

"No," Haley shook her head vehemently from side to side, as she felt Sam slipping away from her even though deep inside she knew he was already gone. Stepping toward him, Haley tried to explain. "It's you I love. That's why I stopped. That's why I couldn't lie." Her breath grew frantic with the distance he was creating, and the way she wasn't sure she could bear it. Tears surged fast and burning to be in released in her eyes as Haley felt herself losing the only boy she had ever loved.

Evading her, Sam had to get away from Haley. Get away from everything she represented to him, and the way it was all up flames now that she had betrayed him in the worst way possible. The eruption inside him waiting to explode was too volatile and painful to do in front of her. Especially since she was the one to ignite the fuse that would ultimately unravel him.

"Get out of my way." Sam warned, the seriousness palpable on his breath, and in his devastated tear pooled eyes. As his heart had already begun to fracture so deeply he knew he'd crumble any moment.

Knowing he would leave, she didn't want him out wandering around in the night, barely clothed. Haley backed up to the door, and blocked it with her body.

"Sammy please, let's just talk about this." She pleaded, as her voice trembled with fear.

Unable to look at Haley another second without flames scorching his insides, without her killing his failing heart more then she already was, Sam threw his jacket on, and charged for the door hoping she'd move. When Haley didn't Sam found himself getting within inches of her face. Something he had never done before, but he had never felt like this before.

"It's. Sam! Now get out of my way!" Sam hollered at Haley as tears finally fell from his broken puppy dog eyes, his breathe hot on her face.

Haley trembled against the velocity of his words, the anger coming off him like a hurricane, but it was the sight of his torturous tears that killed her the most. She had never hurt Sam like this before, and it was more painful then she ever could have imagined. Standing her ground out of love for him, Haley shook her head from side to side.

"No, Sammy." She weak voice trembled out.

Her protest was more then he could take. The fuse to his end was already lit, Sam knew he had to get away from her before he took it out on her.

Gently but firmly gripping her by the arms, Sam pulled Haley away from the door, because even blinded by rage and crippling agony he couldn't touch her with anger. He couldn't hurt her with his hands, even though part of him wanted to hurt her as badly as she hurt him.

Their eyes met for one more second, as tears of regret slipped down Haley's face like a flood, and fire mixed with devastated tears dropped out of control from Sam's puppy dog eyes to match.

In a second Sam charged out the door destroyed, leaving Haley to crumble to the floor. Cradling herself, as her broken heart bathed her. Leaving her to dwell on the fact that she made her bed. Now she had to lie down in it.

_I feel like our worlds been infected_

_And somehow you left me neglected_

_We've found our lives been changed_

_Babe, you lost me_

"_You lost me" Christina Aguilera_

_**Note: **_What are you thoughts? How are you feeling about what happened?


	39. Chapter 39

**_So Much For The After Glow_**

_Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on! _

_Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man, yeah!_

_Didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? __Honey, you know I did!_

_And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,_

_But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough._

Hours after leaving for the bar, Dean stumbled back to the motel with a jolly smirk plastered on his face and wobbly uncertain legs beneath him. Passing the attendants office for the motel on the way to his room, Dean heard someone quietly call his name.

Turning to the noise, he spotted Angie, the kind hearted motel manger who helped keep an eye on Sam and Haley when he and dad weren't around. Her hand was waving for him to come her way.

The grin on Dean's face widened, in his drunken state he assumed she must be making a pass at him. That brought a certain smug something surging through Dean's veins, even if she was twenty years older then him, and not his type in the least. Not that she wasn't pretty, because you face was timeless, but she was old enough to date his dad. Little details like that however seemed pointless with whiskey goggles on.

Stumbling over to the open door to the office where she waited for him, Dean's sloppy smirk sustained for her.

"What can I do you for, Angie?" Dean questioned with a flirty swagger to his eyebrows, and his best inviting bedroom eyes.

Easily noting the young man was clearly intoxicated, the stench of whiskey on his breath adding to the obvious, she got straight to the point.

"I think your brother and sister got into some sort of fight. Sam's been sitting out on the curb for over an hour now. He's going to catch a death of cold." She informed with concern, the kind a good mother would show.

Dean's brows furrowed, her words the last he expected to hear. Sam and Haley never fought. "Alright, thanks for the heads up. I'll take care of it." Dean answered back through sloppy lips, the confusion clear to see on his face.

Leaving the coverage of the building, Dean wandered into the parking lot toward their room.

Sure enough, he spotted Sam easily. Sitting on the edge of the curb, head hung low. Oddly clothed or lack there of in boxer shorts, and a heavy jacket.

Coming up from behind, Dean announced his presence upon arrival. "Sammy? What's going on?" Dean questioned.

Sam's shoulders visually tensed with the sound of his big brother's voice, the last sound he wanted to hear while still fuming and wounded. Looking over his shoulder, Sam spotted Dean slowly making his way toward him with an uneven step. The sight of his big brother's piercing emerald eyes, that smirk of his that always got him whatever he wanted plastered on his face, Sam lost it.

The rage raced through his veins like adrenaline, Sam barely knew he had moved before he was on his feet charging toward Dean. "You kissed her?" Sam rhetorically hollered at his brother upon approach, fire burning in his focused pupil.

Without another word, finally close enough, Sam clenched his fist, and sent it flying. Hitting Dean with everything he had square in the jaw.

Dean stumbled back with the sudden unforeseen impact, almost loosing his balance. If it weren't for his quick thinking and fancy footwork, Dean would be lying on the pavement from the force in his little brother's blow.

Grabbing his jaw, Dean cringed with the throbbing. Regaining his balance, Dean was stunned silent and frozen in his step as he suddenly understood what the lovers quarrel had been about. The devastated look in Sammy's eyes was like a blow to the heart. More powerful then the one that just almost unhinged his jaw.

Looking around to see if the commotion had caused a scene, Dean instantly spotted Angie walking his way, with shock filled eyes.

"Everything's ok," Dean waved her off with a forced smile before she could get too close. Hoping against hope, she hadn't heard Sam's words.

Needing to get this situation under wraps before it blew up more in his face more then it already was, Dean marched to Sam.

Forcefully grabbing his younger brother by the jacket sleeve, he shot out orders with a gaze that dared to be trifled with, because he already knew Sammy would give him one hell of a fight.

"You're drawing unwanted attention to us. Now get inside." Dean demanded through clenched teeth, sobering up instantly.

Sam resisted in Dean's grip, but his older brother still out weighted him, and easily dragged him back to the door.

Once inside Sam yanked free from Dean's hold, and spun on his heels toward the door. "I'm not sharing a room with the two of you!" He spat out, flames licking his lips from his heated tongue as his heart ripped to pieces being close to the ones who betrayed him most.

Dean pushed Sam back by his shoulders for his own good as he reached the door.

"Yes you are!" He ordered. His burly voice laying down law while inside it was himself Dean was shouting at. It was himself he wished he could tear from limb to limb for hurting Sam like this.

"Now I know your pissed, and that's fine. I deserve it, but you have to deal with this, Sam." His gruff authoritative voice rang out. His piercing gaze pining his little brother. Dean was never the soft touch. That was Sam's place hold in this family, but that didn't mean his heart wasn't breaking for the kid, and the damage he had inflicted on him.

Giving his old brother a quick hard shove in return, Sam turned from him. Taking a step further in the room, Sam yanked his jacket off in a huff, and threw it to the ground.

"How could you touch her? You know what she means to me!" He hollered, spinning on his heels to face his big brother with accusing eyes that begged for the truth. While inside it took every ounce of strength Sam had to not let his broken heart form the tears they so desperately wanted to.

You're out on the streets looking good, And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right,

Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night,

Babe, I cry all the time!And each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain,

But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again.

Dean's eyes fell closed for a moment as he internally flogged himself with the crushing guilt of knowing he had cut Sammy in the worst way possible. The broken cry in his little brother's voice that only Dean would hear, because he knew him inside and out crushed Dean. Finally seeing the collateral damage with his own two eyes, not just the nightmares his mind could try to image, left Dean willing to give anything to just spin the hands of time, and take it all back.

To spare his baby brother, his responsibility, his family, all that pain. He'd take a bullet for that kid, but seeing the agony in Sammy's eyes it felt more like he was the one who had pulled the trigger. Taking a deep breath Dean looked back at his baby brother, and was brutally honest. "I'm sorry Sammy, I am. Man, if I could take it back… It was a drunken mistake. I wasn't thinking. I'm an asshole, you know that, but it didn't mean anything. And I sure as hell wasn't trying to hurt you."

His cheap excuse matching the one Haley had given earlier only pissed Sam off worse. As if knowing that what happened meant nothing was just suppose to make it all better.

"Is that what you were telling yourself while you gave it to her!" Sam yelled, never cooling his jets for a second, because whether or not what they did meant something Dean had still messed around with his girlfriend, and that wasn't just going to be fixed with I'm sorry.

Dean's shoulders squared as his pout pursed with growing tension. He didn't mind standing trail for a crime he committed, and he'd gladly stand in front of the execution squad if that's what Sam needed, but he wasn't going to stand for being falsely accused. Sam's offending words set off Dean's own ill temper.

"I didn't give it to her! Now you listen, I may have been stupid, and fooled around with her, but it was just a mistake, and it will never happen again, Sam. So get it together!" His voice finally rose to match Sam's. Dean's heart broke for the kid who meant everything to him, but he wasn't going to sit there, and let Sam insinuate it was something that it wasn't.

Sam's lip snarled with anger and distaste. He could barely stand the sight of his brother standing before him. "Fooled around? Do you even hear yourself! You're both so full of shit!" Sam spit out before charging for the bathroom, only place he could go to get away from them. The sight of them right now enough to bring him to his knees, and make his stomach churn. The sight of people he trusted most in the world where now the same faces that tore him apart.

Haley had watched them fight it out in silence from her post on the bed. There was so many things she wanted to say, but knowing her voice would only fan the flames, Haley waited until Sam tried to leave to make her presence known.

Rising from the bed, Haley went to him. "Sam, please." Her pathetic, heart broken voice called upon her approach. Tears stinging her eyes as she reached out to touch him.

Brushing her hand off, Sam looked her way only for a moment. A look of disgust in his eyes. A look he had never given her before. "Stay away from me." He warned with a lack of care on his breath that hid the fact that looking at her stung the worst, her image made it down right hard to breath.

He loved her with every beat of his heart, and he could barely bear that she could do this to him. Betray him in the cruelest of ways, because he'd never do it to her.

Stomping in the bathroom, he slammed the door. The loud noise vibrated and echoed through the room.

With tears steamy down her face, and a shuttered breath Haley turned around, and came face to face with Dean.

Running an agitated hand down his pricked face as he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that his world had just bottomed out in less then five minutes, and he had no one to blame for that but himself. Dean met her eyes, and let out a heavy breath. "You had to tell him tonight?" He questioned, trying to hold the tension from his tongue.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as Haley nodded weakly. "I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't keep this from him." Her ragged, emotion thick breath confessed.

Dean let out another heavy sigh, and nodded. Saying silently he understood. He had already known she'd crumbled once back in Sam's arms. He just had no idea it would be instantaneous

A heart broken sob choked up her throat as Haley wrapped trembling arms around herself. Feeling her grief win out yet again tonight with Sam's loss.

Seeing her crumble before his eyes, Dean went to Haley unable to ignore her pain, but as his hand touched her, Haley jumped back.

Lost in her own pain, Haley cringed with the throb in her heart. Her eyes found Dean's as her tear drops thickened. "If he sees us together now he'll hate us more then he already does." She chocked out through a quiet rippled breath as her body trembled with the velocity of her words.

Feeling like she was suffocating in that room. The three of them, their lives in ruins, and all their emotions felt like they were choking her, this time Haley was the one to go for the door. She darted past Dean as he reached out to stop her, and escaped.

She didn't want to go far, she just needed some air, and the chilled night air that found her outside was just the remedy.

Sitting on the curb outside their door, a seat Sam had held not that long ago, Haley gazed out into the darkened parking lot lost in her guilt riddled agony as tears slipped from her eyes like rain drops in a storm.

Dean followed her out, quick on her heels. Coming up behind her, normally he would have placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but this time he didn't touch her. Sensing she wouldn't want it, but his gritty voice picked up instead.

"You can't stay out here. It draws unwanted attention to us. Besides it's dark, and late, and you're a girl. Can't have some crazy guy try and take you." Dean's words a little sarcastic, but his tone serious as he gazed upon the second broken loved one he had seen tonight. All because of his doing.

"Maybe that's what I deserve." Haley absently let slip from her lips as her eyes stayed distant and lost out in the dark

"Don't be stupid. Get inside." Dean responded back, quick and sharp. He felt her comment was over dramatic, but he had no idea what was lying just under her surface.

Haley had needed space. Space to think, to digest, to try and come to terms with the fact that she had single handedly destroyed the very thing that meant most to her, but being a Winchester, living life on the road, privacy and moments of peace weren't offered.

Haley could feel it rumbling up from her gut, everything screaming inside her, just under her skin where the outside world couldn't see.

Jumping to her feet, Haley faced Dean, and let him be the unfortunate victim to the rampage she would have rather delivered on herself.

"But don't you see, I am! I must be the stupidest person there is! Because I ruined everything! What's wrong with me! What the hell is wrong with me that I would be with you! He means everything to me, Dean, Everything! And now it's gone, it's all gone! And nothing I do now is going to fix what we did!" Tears streamed down her face, flying off her lips with her passionate words as Haley chocked on every breath.

Her hands ran widely through her hair as she suppressed the urge to scream. Everything inside her felt on fire, but also like it was crumbling away piece, by sacred piece. Her whole world was falling apart. The boy who was a vital piece to who she was now lost to her touch.

Dean had never seen Haley like this, not to this extreme. She had never lost it so completely before his eyes the way she was in this moment. He was shocked and startled by the velocity of it, but also deeply burdened and pained knowing he helped push her to brink.

"You're not stupid. You just screwed up, because of me. It's going to be ok." Stumbling over words of reassurance as he stepped toward her, Dean was never good with the deep raw emotional stuff, but feeling responsible, he had to reach out to her even if he wasn't sure things would ever be ok again.

Seeing him approach her as his words didn't stop the pain, because nothing could, Haley jumped back. "Don't!" She yelled at him adamantly as her head shook profusely. Unable to be near him most of all at that moment. Haley wasn't mad at Dean. She was mad at herself, but after telling Sammy what happened she couldn't look at Dean, and not see what they had done, see what she had lost.

Taking a deep breath to get it together the best she could, Haley said the hardest words she had ever had to say to Dean. "I think we should just keep our distance for awhile… I think it's for the best."

_Take it! Take another little piece of my heart now, baby,__Oh, oh, break it!_

_Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,__Oh, oh, have a_

_Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey,_

_You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good._

As her words filtered in, Dean's faces crumbled as if he had been stuck, her words felt like a blow. He couldn't say he was entirely surprised this is what it came to, but it still hurt just the same.

"Is that what you want?" Dean questioned her, needing her to confirm that's what she wanted, as his breath grew thicker with the emotion he tried to hide.

Staring into Dean's piercing emerald eyes that were blinding with hurt, a man who was her family, a man she loved so much. Tears welled in her eyes as the impending pain strangled her throat dry.

"It doesn't matter what I want anymore." She whispered out as a single tear slipped slowly down her cheek with grief.

Dropping her eyes from his, Haley stumbled on heavy legs back inside the motel. She found her bed again, and weakly climbed on. Pulling the covers over her head, Haley quietly cried in the only place she could be alone. Taking the blame, and the price she knew she deserved for this tangled mess.

Dean stood numbly outside in the cold for a moment. Feeling more alone then he had ever remembered feeling before. In one night he had not only lost Sammy, but Haley too. Dean wasn't even sure how to digest that.

Turning on his heels for the motel door Dean spotted a face. Angie had heard Haley's outburst like he had feared. He had expected her to come rushing over again, but she didn't. She just stood at the door opening eyeing him. From the distance Dean couldn't make it out, but he knew there was something in her eyes. In that moment he knew she had heard every word Haley said, before she disapprovingly shook her head, and went back inside.

Finally returning to the room, Dean heard Haley's cries even before he saw her. Staring silently at the balled up form under the blankets, before his eyes shot to the closed bathroom door, his heart ripped open. All of this was his fault, because he was weak to his inner demons.

Because he was so screwed up in the head he couldn't keep his hands to himself, and now he had cost Haley what meant most to her. Which ultimately cost him her. And hurt his little brother, someone who meant more to him then anyone else, in ways he wasn't sure he could ever be mended. In ways that put up a wall between him and Sammy that may never come down.

An overwhelming anxious feelings swept through Dean's veins, burning him up inside. Setting it free, he kicked the opposite bed hard and swift, repulsed by himself, and his actions.

_"Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart" Janis Joplin_

**Note:** So I know this song is written from a woman's perspective but it's such an amazing classic and that I think it could just as easily be said for a man. So it's meant to be be Sam's perspective. Now please tell me, what do you think?


	40. Chapter 40

_**Ouch, I Have Lost Myself Again **_

_Help, I have done it again_

_I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today_

_And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame_

Two weeks later Sam still hadn't talked directly to Haley or Dean. He ignored their presence all together as if they were a wallflower or ghost in the room. His eyes darted around them. His lips mute when in their presences. He kept to himself, festering in the betrayal.

Dean grew withdrawn and cold with the guilt. Going out at night more often, letting the bottle at his lips, and naked flesh in his palms numb the pain.

Haley however couldn't take it. Every day Sam shut her out chipped another piece of her away, because she was lost without him. He hadn't just been her lover, but her best friend too. Haley always knew Sam was an important part of her being, but she never realized how vital until he was gone, and she was left gasping hollow inside. He was her one true north, and without him she wandered around with no place to call home.

Taking matters into her own hands, unable to sit idly by as he slipped away, Haley had to do something. This distance was killing them both, and maybe he'd shoot her down again, but she had to do something. She wasn't making it through this torture, and even though he treated her like she had the plague now, Haley still knew Sam wasn't making it though this either. Since he avoided her at all costs, she decided to take him on his own turf. In a place he couldn't easily dodge her, in a place they wouldn't be disturbed.

Late one night, after Dean had gone out, and Dad had retired to his room, Haley moved. As Sam took a late hour shower, Haley snuck in the bathroom, and waited quietly.

The steam felt thick and warm in her lungs as it choked the small room, but hearing him rustle on the other side of that shower stall made her feel closer to him then she had in two weeks.

When the water turned off, she grabbed a towel off the rack for him. Closing her eyes, Haley offered Sam his modesty, even though she already knew what every inch of him looked like. Her arm held blindly outstretched, towel in hand as the shower door slid open.

She heard a husky intake slip between his lips, obviously surprised to find her there waiting. She felt his hand take the towel, and she released as he tugged it away, but neither said a word.

Haley's heart began to race with his closeness, and the apprehension of her repeated rejection looming on the horizon as she basked in the simple pleasure of listening to him breathe.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, Sam watched Haley for a moment, taking her beauty in. Finding it bittersweet the way his heart still skipped a beat when she was near, but that now his stomach also tied in knots with the hurt. His tortured mind wondered why he hadn't been enough. Why it had to be Dean. Why she had betray him at all.

Clearing his throat, Sam signaled she could open her eyes.

_Ouch I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,_

_Yeah I think that I might break I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe_

Long thick lashes fluttered open to reveal penetrating honey orbs. Instantly Haley found Sam's whiskey eyes, and held them in the steam filled room, a gaping canyon between them. Her heart throbbed even though she had expected the distance in his eyes. A distance he had never put between them before.

She could tell by the look in his eyes, he was waiting for her to speak. Nibbling on her lower lip out of nervous habit, Haley found the courage to speak from the heart.

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I'd give anything to take it back, and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you." The words choked up in her throat with the raw broken emotion they came from. "I know that doesn't change anything after what I've done, but… I just… I needed you to know." Haley confessed as tears stung her eyes that were hooked upon him.

Sam stared at her blankly in response, but she could see him battling his own feelings inside. She wasn't sure what she expected he'd say in return, but somehow nothing wasn't an option that crossed her mind. His mute lips said more then words ever could. He couldn't forgive her, and nothing she said was going to change that. No matter how sorry she was he was gone. Tears spilled uncontrollably down her face as she felt him slip away to a place she wasn't welcome anymore. Turning for the door, Haley went to leave as a silent sob shuttered her breath.

That's when Sam finally came to life. For reasons he hardly understood, because it came from a part of his heart that would always be hers. Reaching out, Sam lightly grabbed her hand dangling at her side.

Surprise consumed Haley's big orbs as she glanced over her shoulder, and looked to him with the touch.

Their eyes locked as his broken heart revealed it self in the form of tears brimming his sensitive whiskey eyes. Showing instead of saying how badly she had hurt him. Gently with a quiet reluctance, Sam pulled Haley to him.

Inches apart, Sam gazed down on her unable to speak. Torn and twisted inside, he didn't know how to deal with what she had done, and how it had broken his heart. He loved her so much it hurt, even now, and it showed as silent droplets slipped from his eyes locked with hers.

A shuttered breath slipped from her parted lips with the sight of his wounds inflicted by her. Slowly Haley's hand nervously reached up, and with soft fingers tips she brushed away his warm suffering. The wetness clinging to her skin like a mark of shame, as more quiet tears surfaced in his eyes.

Desperate to take away all his pain, and stop being the source of endless heartache, Haley leaned high up on her toes to reach him. His dewy eyes barreling on her, she removed their distance, and lightly placed a butterfly kiss on his cheek where one of his tears once laid.

So close their eye lashes could almost brush, her palms gently cupped his cheeks. Haley leaned in again as more quiet tears fell, bathing his face in comforting feather soft kisses. Trying to heal him with her love. Every ounce of it she had to give.

Haley felt his hands grip her sides, and for a moment she thought he was going to push her away, but he didn't. Sam's palms slipped across her back as he pulled her into a hug, tight against him.

Feeling him embrace her for the first time since he banished her away, Haley crumbled then too.

Tears fell rapid and hot down her face, mixing with his as she leaned her cheek against his. Her eyes fell closed as Haley lost herself in the him. Tangling her arms around his neck, she hugged him close.

Feeling her feet teeter from the strain of standing on her toes too long, Sam eased her discomfort, and lifted her up to him.

Haley's legs tangled lightly around his moist waist, trying to be careful as not to untie his towel. Her face buried in the crook of Sam's neck basking in his scent, and the way she felt whole in his arms, as her oversized tee-shirt grew damp snug against his wet chest.

Bracing her butt, his other hand still held tightly, secured around Haley's back. Moving partially blind in the steam fogged room, Sam stumbled over to the counter top, and gently placed her upon it.

At a better height difference, Haley pulled back slightly until their faces hung inches apart, and their eyes met once again. Feelings and words from a life they had shared together, tall as the skies, deep as the oceans surged between their gaze.

Leaning in, Haley rested her forehead against his. Her fingers lazily danced along the spine of his neck. Basking in the solace of having Sam near once again, and in the way nothing could make her feel whole like he could.

Sam let himself get lost in her soft honey eyes. Amazed by the healing power of her touch and closeness. He was still angry with her, part of him anyway, but having Haley so near again Sam knew he would forgive her with time, because she was his heart and soul even when he didn't want her to be. Looking into her eyes he could feel the depths of her regret. How she needed him. How she had been lost without him too. Somehow that was enough to make Sam let her back in, back in his life, because she completed him in the most indescribable of ways.

Softly Haley smiled at him as their noses brushed, and her heart burst to life as she watched him return it with one of his big bright smiles that always made her insides tingle.

Pulling back from his forehead, Haley returned to her home in the crook of his neck as she felt his face rest against her shoulder.

Their arms desperately encircled like an eternity band around each other. Their eyes fell closed as they both slipped into the happiness they only found together.

Some how against the odds they would beat this, because they were crazy for each other, like psychiatric patients on valium, and they needed each other, like a needle needs a vein. Alone they lie in waste to the world, but together they were the thing of legends.

_Be my friend, Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me,_

_I am small, I'm needy Warm me up , And breathe me_

Sia, "Breath Me"

**Author Notes: **After reading this I wanted to clear any confusion… Sam has not just forgiven and forgotten what Haley did. Note he didn't kiss her. This chapter was meant to show Sam Wants to forgive her. He's come to the decision that he loves her enough to try and fix them. But as you will see in the coming chapters, forgiveness is not as easy as either of them thought it would be. It's going to take a lot of baby steps to rebuild a trust that came so easily to them, but was tarnished by Haley's betrayal.

**Also,** I wanted to cover something from the last chapter… I hope it didn't seem like I was placing all the blame on Dean. I was trying show how Dean is putting all the blame of what happened on himself, but he is Not solely to blame. Haley is just as much to blame. We are all responsible for our own actions. And while Sam blames Dean more, because it's easier then blaming the girl he's in love with more, Haley does not blame Dean. She blames herself… as she should. Dean didn't do this To her, he did it With her. Hope that clears things up.


	41. Chapter 41

**Note: **This chapter contains a sexual situation. However I tried to make it more feeling then graphic. Readers discretion is advise. Also this chapter is meant to show how things are different between Haley and Sam. They aren't back to normal and the harder they try the more different it gets.

_**Push It**_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you , Please don't ask me why _

_I want to see you happy, I want to see you shine _

_Don't worry baby , Don't be uptight _

_Don't worry baby, We'll stay up all night_

Time pasted in a blur, school had started back up. The focus was on academics and college applications. Sam and Haley tried to pretend as if they could go back to before. As if they could erase the wicked from their memory and find the magic they once shared. As if what was sacred wasn't covered in tainted mud and sunken to it's depths. They said the right words, went about dusk to dawn in the same old fashioned way, but it was the little things that gave away the ugly truth. Sam still hadn't touched Haley since her indiscretion. Her hands, even her face on occasion, but not once had he sought out her company to kill the real loneliness drowning inside him. He also hadn't forgiven Dean either. Ignoring his brother felt like a stabbing knife in Haley's heart. Twisting and jabbing at her wound. Screaming that she had done this, she had ripped them apart. Nothing was the same. No matter how hard they tried to pretend.

Alone at the motel, Dad had taken off for a rugaru in Maryland, while Dean swallowed the local bar. A place he called his second home lately, since the people who meant the most to him cast him from the herd like a forsaken black sheep.

Haley buried her guilt over Dean deep inside when she was with Sam. Burials were something she was good at by now. Because if Sam caught sight of her guilty tears in Dean's name he'd mistake them for something else, and accusations would fly.

Sitting upon the motel bed she claimed for herself, Haley watched the only decent movie this cheap TV got, while her gaze followed Sam out of the corner of her eye.

She had been waiting for him to make a move all night. It was undeniable he wanted it. She could see it in his whiskey eyes, that hungry look of his. When he wanted her so badly he could combust. Haley had seen it enough times to know it a mile away. And yet he hadn't made a move. Another unspoken example of how everything wasn't alright between them.

Sam had kept himself busy about the room. Pointless actions that held no real meaning. Until he finally surrendered, fought the battle within himself, and won or lost depending on who asked. As his victory Sam took a seat on the opposite bed from Haley, his whiskey eyes finally blazing and bold upon her.

His stare like a hot coal, Haley felt it burning. The suspense was killing her. Was he just going to stare at her all night or was he actually going to do something about what he wanted. These days she wasn't sure. Before her dirty deeds she could have predicted his movements like a psychic, but now he was unpredictable, and at best she could guess.

Sick of playing the waiting game, and letting his gaze burn her belly into mush, Haley spoke up. "Sam are you just going to sit there, or…" Her edgy tone spit out with a twinge of annoyance, but she never had a chance the finish her question.

Before Haley could even process Sam had moved, he shot off the bed at her. In the blink of an eye he was on the bed with her, his lips crashing insistently into hers. The force of his ravaging sent Haley falling back onto the mattress. The remote lying in the wrong place at the wrong time stabbed into her back, and sent a cry from her lips.

Having her finally pinned beneath him as he stole the breath from her soft full lips, Sam felt the hunger inside him finally begin to be appeased, but then she cried out. The noise escaped past his lips and disappeared somewhere in his mouth. His first thought was he had ripped that from her, that he had hurt her in his rampage. Against the needs of the boiling inside him, Sam slowed his paced.

His lips moving gently across her lips, his hands explored with a softer grazing touch along her warm skin as he found it hiding under cotton fabric. Going back to the way things were with them, innocent and sweet as if they could ever go back.

Haley followed his lead, his every tender kiss and gentle caress, but Sam couldn't shake the agitation running through his veins. How was he suppose to make love to her now?

The slow tender pace left his mind an idyll minefield where the devil plays. As her gentle hands touched his starving skin, as her hot breath begged him for more, Sam's torment used all that he loved about these moments against him. That's why he had never tried to touch her before now.

Instantly his mind betrayed him. Taunted him, was she thinking about him or Dean? Did she wish he'd give it to her like Dean had? What had driven her into his arms that Sam couldn't give? Was his kiss better? His touch hot? Was she picturing his face hovering above her right now? Every question grew louder until it screamed pounding in his skull like a migraine.

Haley found herself kissing limp lips as Sam hung there like a rag doll suspended above her, lifeless and gone. His hands stilled halfway up her ribs. Her heart tightened with rejection as her hand reached up, and softly touched his cheek. "Sammy?" Haley whispered trying to find him, because while she had no idea where he was she knew without a shadow of a doubt he wasn't there with her.

Haunted whiskey eyes shot open from inches above Haley before he jumped off her as if she was made of fire and burned to the touch. "This was a bad idea." Sam grumbled as he turned his back on her, and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

Lying left out in the cold where he had left her, Haley sucked in a shuttered breath to fight back the tears that wanted to form. Knowing she didn't really have the right to cry over this. This was her punishment. Every action had it's consequence, this was hers.

Rising to a seat, Haley took a deep breath, and forced his name off her lips. "Sammy?"

"Did you have sex with him?" Sam's voice shot off the second her words ended. Something cold in his tone as he asked her a question that had been plaguing him since she first told him about that night. Sure they had said they just kissed, but when was the last time Dean 'just' kissed a girl.

Scooting to the edge of the bed to sit beside him, Haley's sad eyes found his profile even though he wouldn't look at her. "No, I've never been with anyone, but you." Her somber breath confessed quietly as they sat side by side with an ocean between them.

"Do you want him?" Sam bitterly questioned. Believing her answer, but finding it didn't calm the anger inside his heart any less.

_Don't worry baby , Don't be uptight _

_Don't worry baby , We'll be alright_

The distance between them was ripping her apart. It wasn't what he was asking her that killed her. It was the way it only left them more broken without fixing anything that brought her to her knees. Her head shook from side to side saying no as Haley climbed off the bed, and went to stand before him. Forcing him to look at her. His eyes evaded her image as she spilled her heart out on the line. "No, I only want you Sam. I love you." Slipped shuttered off her breath.

Her answers made no head way, Haley felt something frantic race up inside her. Reaching out she grabbed his cheeks in her palms, and forced him to look at her.

"Tell me what I have to say, tell me what I have to do to make this better. I'll do it, just tell me." She begged him as the tears finally filled her eyes, and a few escapees managed to break free, making a run for it down her face.

Feeling anger against her pain, because it only made him feel bad for hurting her when it was her who betrayed him, not the other way around. Sam pulled her hands from his face, as his answer spit off his lips. "There's nothing you can say or do." There was something so distant from her in his eyes as he spoke.

Gripping his hands tighter as he tried to pull them away, Haley wouldn't let him go. She wasn't going to give up this fight. "Then connect with me. See if I'm lying. See what's in my heart." Haley's breath came off quick and pleading as she pulled his hands near.

Looking into her eyes Sam wanted to forgive her. He wanted everything back the way it was before, because God help him, he still loved her. The thousands of miles he'd walk for her if it could turn back time. The deep endless crevasse he'd jump over for her, and that's what she was asking for. For him to take a leap. Going against the bitter hurt inside him, Sam nodded in agreement.

A thankful smile slipped over her lips as Haley lifted his hands to her face, and placed them on either of her cheeks. Leaning in slowly, Haley placed her forehead against his. Taking a deep breath she opened herself up wide, like swinging open a door in her mind to let him in.

Focusing in on her as if tuning in to her frequency, Sam felt Haley slip unto him. Her thoughts, hopes, desires, what lie in her heart and mind. The first time he had let himself go there with her since she betrayed him. Sam wasn't sure if he should be surprised or not to find himself swimming inside her corners. To find himself pounding in her heart. To find him consuming her mind, but what did surprise him was the way it made him feel. Like he still belonged beside her. Like she was still the jigsaw to his puzzle. Like she was still the only one meant to be.

Most powerful of all he was surprised by the overwhelming pull for her their connection brought on. A surging flood rushed through his veins, and demanded Haley. His downstairs brain had been burning for her for well over a week now, but now that he made their connection he felt the urge so strong he thought he could explode. Drowning in it, Sam felt his other emotions become secondary to the urgency their connection held for Haley. Giving in as if taking a breath and filling his lungs with water, Sam leaned in, and captured her lips. Softly Sam kissed Haley, and felt her kiss him back with just as much love if not more. It was pure and innocent, and that's what killed Sam, because even though he still loved her, they were neither of those things anymore.

Breaking the kiss suddenly, Sam rose from the bed, and moved from Haley.

"I don't feel like playing cute. Don't you ever get tired of all that soft sweet stuff?" He questioned, and there was something agitated on his breath mirroring the agitation stirring in his gut.

Shot down yet again, Haley felt like she was chasing her tail as she turned to find him. "What soft sweet stuff?" She quietly questioned him in return, because she honestly had no idea what he was talking about this time. As her feet took slow steady steps to him.

_C'mon push it, you can do it, __C'mon prove it, nothing to it_

_ C'mon use it, let's get through it, C'mon push it, you can do it _

Sam's gaze darted around the room, his body held tense with all the frustration battling inside him as Haley approached. His whiskey eyes dropped onto her, sharp like daggers. "You know, when we do it." He explained briefly with a slight dance to his eyebrows as the muscles visually tensed in his shoulders.

Finally hearing a problem simple enough for her to fix, a smile twitched on Haley's lips. "Sammy, you can have it anyway you want." She offered herself up as free terrain. If this would fix them, she'd let him have it anyway he liked.

Haley could see something close to surprise fill his eyes with her quick easy response. "Anyway?" He repeated the terms just so they were both clear on the fine print.

Gazing deep into the whiskey eyes of the man she loved, Haley's lips stayed mute as her head nodded in agreement.

Something almost wicked smiled on the corner of his mouth before Sam attacked. His mouth was hot and hungry against Haley's, stealing the breath from her lips. Compliant to his every wish, Haley didn't resist when Sam lifted her up to him as if she was weightless. Instead she locked her legs around his hips, her arms tight around his neck, as she kissed him harder. Finally realizing how desperate she had been to touch him again. They had been in this position before, held this much passion in their need for each other, but Sam's next move took her by surprise. Spinning them around, Sam slammed her into the wall. A whimpered cry slipped from Haley's lips before she could hold it in, and she could have sworn she heard a grunt of satisfaction come off his lips tangled with hers in response.

Pinned tight between the peeling retro wallpaper covered wall, and Sam's strong sturdy body, Haley felt his giant strong hand rapidly push her shirt up her body. The mild air of the room splashed against her exposed skin as his touch left tingles in it's wake. While this was aggressive and more intense then she was use to having, the feel of Sam's hands back on her hungry skin filled Haley with the satisfaction her soul needed. His strong arm braced her butt as the wall held her back steady. Haley followed his lead, and desperately yanked his grey tee-shirt off his strong toned body, urgent to feel his warm smooth skin against hers once again. Her bare back stuck flush to the wallpaper, Sam bit down hard on her neck as her loud cry vibrated through the room. As soon as Haley felt the ecstasy of Sam's attack, and his skin she carved against her own once again, he took her by surprise.

Swinging them around, Haley clung onto him for the ride. Trying to steal the life right out of his lips until their insistent kiss broken suddenly when Sam released her, and she back fell onto the mattress below.

Haley's dark eyes shot open to see Sam at the edge of the bed stripping his jean before they fell to the floor. His boxers followed suit, creating a pile on the shag carpet.

Her gaze grew dark with the temptation as a naughty smile covered his face in response. Then Sam's strong hands were on her jeans yanking them off her faster then she'd ever seen him move before, but it isn't the speed that gets to her. It's the demanding look in his eyes, and in the grip of his hands as he does it, like he needs her more then he's ever needed anything before.

_This is the noise that keeps me awake _

_My head explodes and my body aches_

_ Push it, make the beats go Harder _

_Push it, make the beats go Harder _

In the blink of an eye, Sam retrieves a jimmy from the nightstand. Party hat on, he's with her on the mattress in a second, and Haley can't breath from the force as they collide.

Sam kisses her senseless as he takes out every fighting urge inside him on her body. Haley takes it, and she's actually surprised when she likes it, but it's not the act she's in love with. Even though it's taking her so high she wonders if she will be able to come back down, it's having Sam back in her arms again that makes this moment truly captivating.

Needing to feel something different, Sam has them on the move again. In one swift tumble, Haley's on top of him, Sam's bare back buried in the mattress.

His giant hand slides down her back along the groove of her spine, until he can find what his palm is really craving. Her hip, that Sam grabs hold of forcefully tight. As if he's the wind that creates a storm, Sam shows her just what he wants.

They collide hot and sensual, but wild like a bull ride. Getting lost in the moment Haley bites down on his lip, and is pleased with her results when he grunts with pleasure. Getting rougher with him, Haley surrenders this is what Sam wants. And she'll give it to him if it means he'll be hers again like before. Haley's silky locks tangle all around them like a veil hiding them from the world, before Sam's hand sweeps it from her face to catch her honey orbs that are on fire above him.

Sam kisses her again, and while it's still urgent this time Haley can feel the love in it too, and she knows as this moment unravels them he's surrendering to his love for her again.

A burst of energy like a flash of lightening, Sam rolls Haley onto her back. Just when she thinks he's going to join her again, she feels his strong hands push her onto her side. Haley's face lay half buried in the pillow as Sam's is strong hand holds her in place before she quickly feels his nose nuzzling her hair, his panting breath hot on the back of her neck.

Haley starts to slip away from reality at that moment. She could hear herself whimpering Sam's name to the contact as he kisses her tenderly, but quick along the back of her neck, and the edges of her jaw. His strong arm wrapped around her, holding her flush to him. Keeping them connected as one. Her whole body was burning on fire, there was a sadness when Sam pulled away from her, but before she could miss him for too long he pulled her onto her back.

His lips crashed into hers once again powerful and needy. The assault of kisses feel warm and hungry only for her on her mouth. His arm wraps around her back before he pushes off the bed, and sits them up. Perched in his lap, Sam kisses what's left of Haley's mind away.

The room grows distant and fuzzy with a primal hunger until all they can sense is each other. The feel of one another, buzzing, vibrating through them. Nothing is fixed, their problems aren't better, but tangled up in each other on that bed, pretending just got a whole lot easier.

_C'mon push it, you can do it, __C'mon prove it, nothing to it _

_C'mon use it, let's get through it, C'mon push it, you can do it _

_Push It_

_Garbage, "Push It" _

**Question: **Was there too much information? Did I share more about their intimate situation then you would have liked to know? Did you sense the difference between them?


	42. Chapter 42

_**Highway To Hell**_

_Living easy, livin' free, Season ticket, on a one - way ride_

_Asking nothing, leave me be. Taking everything in my stride_

_Don't need reason, don't need rhyme. Ain't nothing I would rather do_

_Going down, party time. My friends are gonna be there too_

Quietly they sat in the giant beastly sized '86 GMC Sierra Grande, like father and daughter, family but not blood. John had taken his daughter with him on an investigation. Nothing risky, just research really. Questioning a family who had been touched by the supernatural. They had children close to Haley's age and with her naturally intuitive sense, John thought she'd be perfect at sniffing out some extra truth. She had done just that, and even better, finding little details out he couldn't have discovered without her. Now here they sat, side by side in that monster truck, lingering outside this motel of the week with success still hot on their tongue.

John had taken his time coming to Haley. He had wanted to let the heat on the stove cool down before he came to her with his concerns. John wasn't blind. He may not always charge in, guns drawn into every situation that involved his kids, but silently, he watched over like an all knowing owl. John was almost always aware of what was going on. Even if it was only a taste of the full course, he was a skilled enough hunter to sniff out his own kid's problems even if he then decided to stay back and let them work it out on their own. Knowing they were strong and smart enough to do so, but this situation was different. This problem was not only picked up by his own senses, but shoved in his face by an outside source. This time he had to confront it head on.

Parking the truck outside this shabby, low end motel that had seen better days. Just as Haley was about to jump out, John spoke up. "Haley, wait…" He called out suddenly as his deep voice deadpanned.

"Yeah, Dad?" Haley turned to her father with questioning hinged in her eyes as she settled back in her seat.

"What's going on with Sam and Dean? …They haven't been at each other's throats like this in a long time." His tone was deep and burly, but his eyes were soft as they fell upon a girl he saw as his daughter in every way that counted.

Haley had to fight the urge to let her eyes reveal how startled she actually was. Her chest fluttered with nerves. She had worried it was only a matter of time before Dad picked up on the tension between Sam and Dean, but some how she had hoped he'd just keep it to himself like he normally does.

Swallowing hard to loosen the tightening in her throat, Haley forced her voice to sound normal as she struggled to look at her father with a vagueness in her orbs. "Nothing big. You know how they can be sometimes. They'll get over it really soon. I'm sure of it." She tried to sound confident as her shoulders shrugged as if she knew far less then she actually did.

Haley hid her feelings well. One of her many attributes that told John she truly was a Winchester now, but still he saw past her strong front. He sensed her nervousness and the way her eyes darted just past him on certain words.

Haley's evasiveness began to stir a worry in John's heart. That maybe what he had heard could be true. While his heart stood strong it wasn't possible. He knew his son well enough to know he wasn't capable of such a heinous act, but Haley's tension told John she knew more then she was saying. And now his hand was forced to reveal his cards.

John nodded, accepting her answer, but then turned the tables on her. "Ms. Angie spoke with me before we left Maryland about some concerns she had."

"Concerns?" Haley couldn't stop her mouth fast enough as her voice shot out meek and startled.

John noted the tone in his daughter's voice, his gut telling him he was getting closer to the truth. "She said she overheard you arguing with Dean… She was worried Dean might have done something to you…" John's voice settled open ended. His words growing harder to say each step he took. The implication of what he was asking was staggering.

She could feel her chest tightening with her father's every word. Haley had no idea anyone had heard her, but knowing someone had, the leverage they could have retrieved was terrifying. "What?" She pretended to be clueless, wanting to hear what her dad would say before she spilled the beans on her own.

John's head bowed closer to the steering wheel from the weight on his heart. He didn't want to ask this, he didn't want to believe it was even possible, but now he felt he had to. He loved his daughter too much to play naïve even if this was the hardest thing he had ever asked her. "I can't believe I'm asking this…" A heavy breath escaped his lips, before he looked to her and followed through. "Haley, has Dean ever touched you, or anything like that… You know, where he shouldn't have, or maybe just in a way you didn't want?" John stumbled over the words. His deep voice falling deeper in his throat as each word strained.

John wasn't blind to Dean's escapades with the ladies, or the fact that he was allowed countless unsupervised hours with Haley, but the thought never crossed his mind he'd go after her. She was too young, she was practically his family.

Eyes dilating wide as her gaze shot to her dad, Haley shook her head profusely from side to side. "No… No way, Dean would never do that!" Adamantly Haley cleared Dean's name. The things dad was asking about were invasions, violations. Dean had not done that to her. She knew in her heart he wasn't even capable of it.

John let out a heavy sigh of relief the weight instantly lifted from his chest. He hadn't actually thought Dean could do something like that, but after Angie came to him with her worry, and the kids started turning on each other, he had to make sure Angie's worries weren't founded in truth.

"Angie must have misunderstood what I said." Haley spoke up offering an easy explanation for the misunderstanding, even though she knew Angie had probably heard her just fine, but because Angie thought they were all siblings. It only seemed natural she'd also assumed that if her and Dean had done something it would have had to have been forced.

"Is that what's going on with Sam and Dean? A misunderstanding?" John edged around his suspicions, that what Angie had heard and the boys conflict was some how connected.

Turning to her dad, their eyes met, and Haley reluctantly nodded. Apprehension filled her soft honey eyes as she slipped out the edited truth. "Yeah, Sam thinks something happened between me and Dean." Her voice came out hushed and timid. She wasn't entirely lying, even though she hated lying to him at all, but Haley knew she couldn't tell Dad what really happened between her and Dean. She knew the man who had become her father well enough to know that important words like _consensual _would get lost in translation when it came to her and Dean.

"But it didn't?" John quickly questioned, strength and something close to anger filling his tone. His reaction just the one Haley knew she'd get if a Dean and Haley equation was presented to him. To John she'd always be a little girl, and Dean, his eldest son was now a man. In John's eyes if anything happened between them it would be far bigger then taking advantage, it would be down right exploitation.

Hearing that tone in his voice, Haley wouldn't meet John's eyes even as she felt them on her. She couldn't, she knew this time he'd know she was lying, but she had to protect Dean. "No, nothing happened." Haley answered quietly on her breath as her eyes hung out the security of the windshield. She wasn't going to let Dean be slaughtered by Dad for something they had done together. It was bad enough Sam blamed him almost solely. She wouldn't let Dad take Dean's hide for something she participated in, something he wouldn't understand.

As John nodded and looked away accepting her answer, Haley turned to look at him. Her heart had a moment of clarity in that second. John was a good man. This she knew, but it suddenly became blindingly clear. Not only did he take her word without second guess, but he did so much more. He had taken her in when her family dropped her on the curb. He loved her like a daughter and never treated her as less, and how did she return his generosity, she lied to him. Not just about this either, but about Sam. She had been lying to him about her and Sam for a long time and sitting in the truck, beside a man she loved like a father and so much more, Haley finally needed to come clear.

_No stop signs, speedin' limit. Nobody's gonna slow me down_

_Like a wheel, gonna spin it. Nobody's gonna mess me 'round_

_Hey Satan! Paid my dues. Playin' in a rockin' band_

_Hey Mama! Look at me. I'm on my way to the promise land_

Her voice spoke up quick before she could second guess herself. "Dad... I, I need to tell you something." Haley fumbled on her words a bit, nerves fluttering and tightening in her belly.

John glanced her way, his eyes blank of emotion, but open as he waited for her to elaborate.

"I… I need you to try and understand. I need you to try and not get mad, please Dad." Thick edginess filled her voice as her eyes fell upon John, pleading heavy in her iris.

John's whiskey brown eyes stared at Haley for a moment. Nothing discernable on his stoic face. Her request was hard to agree upon considering he didn't know what she was about to reveal, but judging by the fact that she had to ask him not to get mad would indicate what she had to say was going to be something he wouldn't like. Trusting his gut, going out on a limb, John nodded.

Haley swallowed hard, building her nerve. This was the hardest thing she would ever have to share. The possibility this could all go so horribly wrong seemed inevitable, but she loved him too much to lie to his face anymore. Especially after everything he had given her.

"Dad…" Her breath came out shallow and quiet. "Sam was mad at the thought of me and Dean together because…" Her breath stilled on it's own. Sucking in a deep breath, she pushed herself through. Took the big leap and hoped she didn't crash into the earth to her death. "Because Sam and I are together." Her heavy breath whispered out quiet, a little scared.

John stared at her expressionless for a moment. His big whiskey eyes blinking, the only sign of movement. A light huffed breath escaped his nose before his face turned from her. Glancing out the windshield John stayed silent lost in his thoughts for a moment.

Heart pounding hard in her chest, watching her father sit there without saying a word was almost worst then if he started yelling. Her mind raced with what he was thinking, or the possibility he could explode at any moment.

John stared aimlessly out the windshield, at first surprised by Haley's courage. That she had in fact finally told him. It always amazed John the way his kids thought they could actually hide things from him, big things like that. That they actually thought he wouldn't notice, or that he hadn't lived long enough to know what the signs meant.

John never looked her way, but finally his low strong voice spoke. "… I know." He had known for some time. Part of him hoped it was just a phase and they'd grow out of it. Another part of him didn't want to deal with it at all. He remembered how Mary's parents didn't like him, how it only drove them closer together. That's part of the reason he had kept silent for so long. Unsure of what move to make without adding fuel to the fire. But here Haley was being honest and he couldn't have respected her more for it.

Haley's eyes blinked widely upon John, her heart pounding just as hard. Of everything she imagined he'd say, this wasn't it. She had been so sure her and Sam stayed under the radar, but deep inside she already knew she shouldn't be surprised such a skilled tracker had found them out.

Since it was out on the table, undeniable in his presence, John needed to know something else. When he first figured out the kids were together he didn't worry as much about it, but lately his concerns were almost over powering, but he was never quite sure how to ask. Swallowing hard, John bit the bullet, and went for it feeling the time was now.

"Are you two sleeping together?" His deep gritty voice questioned as his gaze hung out the windshield. Unable to look at his little girl when he heard an answer he felt he already knew in his heavy heart.

John's words sent Haley's eyes darting from him. Like a pair they sat in the truck, both staring out the windshield unable to face each other. Her breath quickened with nerves. She hadn't expected him to ask that and answering him was harder then it sounded.

Silence filled the cabin of that truck before Haley finally mustered her nerve and choked out an answer. "…Yeah … But… but we're really careful Dad." Her words fumbled on a heavy shaken breath as her gaze still couldn't meet him. Terrified of the disappointment or anything else that might cloud his eyes.

A heavy breath could be heard leaving John as neither dared to glance at the other.

"So I should be keeping you two in separate rooms." Slipped thick and bitter off John's breath on mere response alone. Having an inclination your kids are having sex, and actually hearing they are, are two very different blows.

Haley's muscles tensed with the anger bordering on his breath. He was upset, how could he not be, it's what a good father would do. Her brain told her to stay quite, let him have a moment to digest, but her heart told her to be honest. To give it to him straight and nothing less. "…Wouldn't make a difference anyway." Her voice meekly whispered out. Trying to tell her dad keeping them apart hadn't worked before, it wasn't suddenly going to work now. A tightness choked in her throat, but her heart was dying with something to say. Something that took more courage then Haley was sure she had, but it took a hold of her just the same. She found herself turning to John, looking at his profile and pouring her heart out. "Dad, I love Sam, and he loves me. This isn't some crush or teenage hormones. We love each other. That's not going to change no matter what room we're in. I want your support on this, but I have to be honest, if you don't give it, it's not going to stop me and Sam." Haley's breath shuttered in her chest as her mind couldn't believe she just said that to him, but it felt right to be brutally honest in her heart.

John sat silently in his seat, amazed by what his daughter was saying. He couldn't say he was completely surprised. John wasn't around or involved as much as he would like to be with his kids, but even he couldn't miss the bond held between Sam and Haley. They had held it since they were small kids. That noted, John couldn't deny the fear that crept into his heart too with this news. Love, deep love was dangerous in youth. Love makes the inexperienced mind more likely to make life altering mistakes without ever realizing their misstep until it was too late. He didn't want that to happen to his daughter. He didn't want that to happen to his son. He wanted the best for them, and sitting there in the cabin of that truck John felt powerless to protect them from themselves.

He found his mind wandering to his second in command, his strong unfaltering soldier who seemed inexpiably mixed up in this. Mixed up in a way that surprised John, since he would have imagined the young man who followed his every word would have mentioned a poignant situation such as this. "Does Dean know what the two of you have been up to?" John questioned, his voice burly, but quiet in it's approach. Finding it hard to believe Dean couldn't know, but also finding it hard believe Dean wouldn't bring it to his attention.

Haley's eyes quickly darted to her lap. She wanted to be honest. Inside of her self she decided she always wanted to be honest with John from here on out, but she wouldn't betray the confidence of those she loved most. To protect the ones she loved, to protect them for protecting her secrets, Haley would stretch the truth. "He just found out… I told him not to tell you. I wanted to be the one to do it." The words slipped easier off her breath as she reminded herself they weren't entirely untrue. She had begged Dean not to tell. How long he had known was the lie, but Dean had kept her secret, she wouldn't through him under a bus now.

John nodded silently still wrapped in his thoughts. Unsure how he felt about Sam and Haley being together, most of all sleeping together, but he also felt helpless to change it, to impose his will.

The cabin of that truck felt more claustrophobic and smaller by the second. This was the heaviest talk they had ever had except for the time John had to tell Haley her biological father had died. Haley could feel John wanted this talk to end, the same feelings resonating in her heart too, but she had to know what his course of action would be first. She had to know if she needed to prepared and warn Sam she had brought war down upon their love.

"Dad…" Haley's voice spoke up quiet all of a sudden. When John glanced her way, her words continued. "Are you… are you going to do anything now that you know?" Her voice came out hesitant and unsure as her big eyes fell upon her father.

John stared at Haley a moment, taking her words in, giving them good adequate thought. As the seconds passed he didn't gain an answer. He wasn't ok with the kids sleeping together, in fact the thought terrified him. They were too young to understand the tight rope they were walking by being sexually active together. The frequency scaring him the most. The thought of his girl, the closest thing he'd ever have to an actual daughter and his youngest son having sex was a nightmare, but he had to be realistic. If he had had a girl living with him, all that time alone, at Sam's age… the thought was almost more then John could bare. He wanted to condemn them, force them to keep their hands off each other, but he knew he didn't have that power. Especially not when he wasn't even around most of the time. John felt stuck, in a twisted bind with his hands tied behind his back. He wasn't sure what to do.

A heavy breath escaped past his lips from his heart as he gazed upon Haley, his little girl. "…I don't know." He answered honestly. No course of action clear in his mind. He knew he was walking on thin ice. One wrong move and he'd drive them more desperately to be together. The air in the cabin of the truck grew thick in his lungs and John had to escape. Without a further word, John turned from Haley and stepped out of the truck excepting to find her one step behind.

_I'm on the highway to hell, Highway to hell_

_I'm on the highway to hell, Highway to hell_

_And I'm goin down..all the way! I'm on the highway to hell.._

_"Highway To Hell" AC/DC_

**Note: **Now that you've read it I want to clarify that I wasn't trying to imply that Dean violated Haley, but their age difference and experience level difference could be food for thought. I also wasn't trying to imply that John really thought Dean would do that. I was trying to show that to an outside (Angie) who thinks Dean/Sam/Haley are all siblings that hearing about Dean/Haley would have sounded like a violation, because she doesn't know the real situation. I took the outsider's perspective. Hope that makes sense


	43. Chapter 43

_**Thanksgiving:**_

_**Bad Moon On The Rise**_

_I see the bad moon arising. I see trouble on the way. _

_I see earthquakes and lightning'. I see bad times today._

Thanksgiving found them the way Holidays always do this time of year. The bunch would have almost forgotten if Dad wasn't there to enact the Winchester thanksgiving tradition. Arriving back at the shabby motel a little after dinner time with a bucket of KFC's extra crispy chicken in his arms and all the sides to match.

Dean and Haley loved it. To them it didn't matter that the meal wasn't homemade, that they hadn't spent all day cooking, or that they didn't even have a home to eat it in. To them all that mattered was they were all together, alive, and safe, because in a hunter's life that was never guaranteed.

However Sam never saw it that way. Through Sam's eyes this was another one of Dad's cheap attempts at pretending things were normal when they so clearly weren't. He'd imagine other families seated around a big table full of slow cooked homemade treats. He'd imagine a home warm and cozy that didn't smell of mildew and old sex. To Sam all these holidays were was another example of his father's failure to provide for them. Another example of how they weren't normal and how desperately he wanted to me. Unlike Dean who could never see a shadow upon their beloved father, Haley understood Sam's side of it. She loved him and knew him well enough to understand his reasons where justifiable even if that's not the way she chose to measure the glass.

Thanksgiving always played out the same, like a well orchestrated play. The Winchester clan would huddle together around the TV, on whatever furniture they could scrounge up in these cheap motel rooms. They'd eat until they couldn't swallow another bite, while Dad would pass around the beers between him and Dean like they were water. Everyone could always tell when Dad had, had a few too many, because he'd start to offer then to Sam and Haley too.

This holiday always ended the same, John would drink himself into oblivion. Until he couldn't even sit up anymore, and he'd pass out on the couch.

By nine that night they had reached the after glow faze of the celebration, as John's glossy eyes began to slip close, as his body weaved unsteadily on the couch. His kids stepped in knowing it was time to put Dad to bed.

"I got you, Dad." Dean spoke up quick as he reached for his father's shoulders. His emerald eyes shooting to Sam who just stood there glaring. "Sammy, give me hand." Dean ordered, not surprised by Sam's annual defiance, but insisting his help just the same.

With a huffed disgruntled breath, Sam stepped up grabbing his father's legs and swinging them up on the couch. Haley dashed over with a pillow that Dean laid John's head upon, and a blanket to cover him with.

As Dean took a step away to let his father slip into the blackness he felt his Dad's hand grip him tight. Dean turned back with orbs full of question. Haley was tucking the blanket around their father when his deep voice spoke up strangled by emotion. "You kids mean everything to me." John muttered out low on his drunken breath as his sensitive whiskey eyes scanned over his children. The only things he had left in this world.

"And vengeance…" Sam muttered under his breath. Not falling for his father's sappy alcohol induced sentiment.

Dean reached out, knocking Sam on the back of his head as he shot his little brother eyes of warning to be respectful.

Haley ignored Sam's comment all together. Use to her boyfriend's resentment by now, while also connected to Sam enough to understand he had his reasons for feeling the way he does and they weren't because he didn't love his Dad. Taking John's hand Haley squeezed it tight. "We love you too Dad." She smiled softly and as smile slipped across John's tired run down face, just as his eyes slipped close, Haley rose from the couch to let him rest.

Dean grabbed his beer and returned to the awkward metal chair he pulled from the makeshift kitchen and placed in front of the TV. Taking his chance, now that Dad was passed out and they were free. Sam took Haley's hand and led her toward the door. As they reached the only escape he pulled her close to him. Tugging her smaller body flush against his tall one as his big hand gently cupped her cheek. That look in his whiskey eyes told her what was coming even before his lips leaned down into hers, giving her soft, sweet kisses. As Sam's lips continued to move he picked up the pace against her soft full pout, saying without words he wanted something more, he wanted her. Breaking the hold of their pucker, Sam's thumb swept across her supple cheek as his eyes blazed intoxicatingly upon her. "Want to get out of here?" He asked Haley with a tempting spark in his eyes and a smile that smoked down on her like a hazy cloud. The hidden message lying underneath, saying he wanted them to go off somewhere, celebrate the holiday in a way that let him get desperately lost in her.

Lately things had changed between them, for years Sam had been the one to bend to Haley's every wish, but now the earth had flipped on it's axis, ever since her mistake. Now that Sam was trying to work things out with Haley it was her who bent to his whim. Needy to keep him happy, desperate to just keep him. Still feeling guilty as hell.

Gazing deep and wanting into Sam's eyes she loved so much, Haley nodded yes. Giving him what he wanted, because she loved and missed the way it felt when he genuinely wanted her.

A smile burst wide and electric across Sam's face with Haley's answer. Just as beautiful as when fireworks erupt in the night sky. Letting Haley instantly know her choice was right.

Turning back to his brother whose eyes were glued to the TV, Sam spoke up. "Hey Dean, we're going to walk over to the quickie mart and grab a snack. We wont be too long." He called, giving his brother a false layout of where they'd be going, because house rules said Dad or Dean always had to know.

Dean's eyes finally shot up from the gleaming screen to the love birds. Staring at them for a moment, a smirk stole his face as a huff escaped his lips. Understanding fully what they were up to. "Sure you are… You got thirty minutes. Make it quick Sam." Dean answered back giving his permission, because while he was deathly protective of those kids, he also knew Sam could hold his own and protect Haley too if need be. Besides to Dean this was better then them sneaking into the bathroom or the room where he'd have to sleep later.

Standing there beside Sam, Haley saw it. Past the smirk on his charming face, the enjoyment he was pretending to have as his gaze drifted over to Dad passed out on the couch. She could see it in Dean's eyes he was lonely, maybe even a little sad. As Sam moved to open the door, Haley halted his escape with a word.

"Wait… It's Thanksgiving, Sam. I don't think we should just leave him here all alone with Dad." There was a quiet plea in Haley's voice that matched the look in her honey eyes as they gazed upon Dean. Saying he was their family, he shouldn't be left here to pass the empty hours with countless beers and Dad passed out snoring on the couch.

Sam hesitated, still holding a grudge against Dean. While fighting the urge to not make Haley's suggestion into something he knows it wasn't, but Sammy's big heart won out. Beyond all his anger and hurt, at the very core of Sam is his gentle soul and nothing could change that. No mater what Dean did, no matter how mad he made him, Sam would always love his brother.

"You're right," Sam whispered out, conceding. Their play time could wait, taking care of each other was more important now. Especially when they were all they had.

Pleased, Haley flashed Sam a wicked smile to follow her lead as she glided over to the coffee table where the Impala keys lay. Boldly snatching them up, Haley caught Dean's focused eyes hot on her in a second. "On second thought, we're going for a joy ride." She taunted Dean with a mischievous smirk and spark in her orbs as they hung upon him.

Dean steadily placed his beer down on the shag carpet as he slowly rose from his chair. "Don't even think about it." He warned her, something playful with deathly serious in his emerald eyes that pierced hot upon her.

Their eyes held in the challenge for a second, before Haley made her move, and darted for the door. She only made it a few steps before Dean caught her. His strong arm tangled around her small waist as he pulled her back up against him. Her feet dangled in the air as Dean held her tight, and his free hand feigned for the keys.

"Sam think fast!" Haley's voice cried out with excitement as she tossed him the Impala keys.

Sam caught them mid-air. His eyes held a tricky gleam as they caught Dean's, before he darted out the motel door to quick to catch.

"Oh you both are so going to get it." Dean growled, but both Sam and Haley knew him well enough to know the playful nature hidden underneath it. Releasing Haley from his grasp, she raced out the door after Sam with lightening speed. Hearing the engine roar from outside, Dean grabbed his trademark leather jacket off the chair, and followed the kids out the door in search of a good time.

_I hear hurricanes a blowing., I know the end is coming soon._

_I fear rivers over flowing. I hear the voice of rage and ruin._

Twenty minutes later the trio sat parked off a dusty old dirty road. In the middle of no where. Their only company besides each other is the woods that surrounded them, the blanket of stars that hung over them, and the sound of classic rock humming out the open windows of the Impala.

Sam and Haley sat upon the wide hood of the car gazing up at the stars shining and dancing above their heads. The chill in the fall night air kept their jackets zipped up tight as they enjoyed this little piece of heaven.

Dean shuffled around in the trunk of the car until they heard it slam shut. He reappeared with a devilish grin painted across his sexy pout and the cooler full of beer in his strong hands.

Placing it on the wild weeds covered ground, Dean popped the lid. Pulling out a cold one he handed it Sam's way, like a quiet peace offering. Sam was still giving Dean the cold shoulder for the most part and this was Dean's way of asking for a truce, even if just for tonight.

"Want a beer, man?" He spoke up nonchalantly as if his little brother's answer didn't hold the weight of the world in it.

Sam's deep whiskey eyes stared at the glass bottle in his brother's out stretched hand for a moment, before his eyes drifted up to Dean's waiting emerald pair. He could see the silent plea, silently reach out in his big brother's eyes. Tonight had been a good night at least between them, Sam surrendered to the peace and took the beer. "Thanks." He called back genuinely, but quiet on his breath.

Grabbing a beer for himself Dean climbed onto the hood to join his little pair. Jamming the bottle cap off with his keys, Dean handed them over to Sam for him to do the same. A simple smile found his face to the pleasure of sharing a moment not held in anger or spite with his little brother, his favorite little guy.

"What about me?" Haley spoke up, a twinge of astonishment on her breath. Disbelief surging in her orbs as they fell upon Dean beside her. Almost insulted he had left her out.

Taking a slow big swig of his ice cold beer, Dean pulled it from his lips, and smirked at Haley's reaction. "You're too young." He answered simple and smooth off his deep gritty breath.

A scoff escaped Haley's breath and filtered into the cold night air. "Sam is only seven months older then me. This is a sexist thing, it's because I'm a girl." She challenged him, all in good spirit of course, but Haley wasn't backing down from proving Dean wrong. Reaching over, she took the beer from his hand, and brought it to her lips for a quick defiant sip. Saying without words, as far as she was concerned she was one of the boys.

A chuckle slipped off Dean's lips with amusement as he shook his head. His emerald eyes held on her as a smirk filled his pout with the sight of Haley's rebellion. "Sex has nothing to do it. Face it Hales, you're the baby in this family." Dean playfully reminded her as his fingers reached out, and teasingly nipped at her cheek as he spoke.

Dean's hand quickly fell from her face as she squirmed away from his teasing. Attacking the side of her waist just above her hip, Dean pinched Haley's clothing covered flesh. Getting her just where he knew she'd squirm. A squeal escaped her lips before she could suppress it as her butt bounced up on the hood against the tickle of his touch. In an instant Dean snatched back his beer, and took another long swing, but the damage was already done.

Sam had sat there, chilled beer in hand, watching silently from the sidelines. The site growing worse by the second. Dean was blatantly flirting with Haley in front of his eyes and she just ate it up. Sam's heart shot with pain as if it had been stabbed. The same taunting cruel voice of doubt that was always his downfall returned in his mind, whispering sinisterly… _'You're going to lose her… You're going to lose her to Dean.' _He couldn't take it a second longer after that.

"Just can't help yourselves, can you?" Sam's bitter voice broke through the night, mimicking fear the way darkness does best.

The fun stopped in that moment. Dean's smile slipped from his face, his gaze falling to his lap. Guilt panged inside his heart, not because he had done something wrong, he knew his intensions had been good, but because he had hurt Sam yet again.

Haley's worried honey eyes shot to Sam on the other side of her as her breath quickly spoke up with urgency. "Sam we weren't…" Haley tried to explain. Her heart shooting to life as everything fell apart the way it always seemed to these days.

Ignoring her plea, because nothing could win against the insecurity in his heart, Sam climbed off the car with a muttered word in his decent. "Save it." Without a second glance their way Sam started walking away from the car toward the woods that surrounded them.

Haley and Dean jumped off the hood after him, but didn't follow his step. Both still shocked everything had turned so wrong.

"Sam, Come on! Really?" Dean shouted after his brother. His deep voice echoing into the night and carrying for what sounded like miles.

Sam never slowed his heated step, never looked back, he stayed his course reaching for the edge of the woods still fuming from a sight that burned in his mind.

Dean's pointed emerald eyes shot down to Haley beside him. "We didn't do anything." His steady voice confirmed for her and himself alike. In his heart Dean stood by his words. He knew he hadn't done anything with Haley that he hadn't done a million times before over the years. He had not been coming onto her, simply playful as he use to be.

Sad empathy swelled in Haley's eyes as they hung up on Dean's. "I know, but even nothing can seem like something to him now." She softly reminded him. Her heart heavy with the weight upon it. The guilt resurging, because she held responsibilities in why things were as damaged as they were now.

The anguish in Haley orbs pierced Dean's heart. He so badly wanted to take it all back. What he had started and done with her that night, the never ending pain that's come from it ever since. He so desperately wanted to take it all back and save the people he loved most from all this suffering. Without another word Dean started after his brother, but Haley's tight little grip on his arm halted his step.

"Let me," Her orbs pleaded him, saying this was something she needed to fix. Dean nodded with understanding before Haley's eyes drifted back to Sam. Watching him disappear into the entrance of the forest Haley spoke up. "Sam!" Her voice rang out, piercing in the quiet night.

When he didn't answer her the panic settled in. They were just starting to come together again, be an ounce of what they use to be. She felt an urgency to fix this. Without a second step Haley took off after him, leaving Dean at the car. "Sam! Sam, wait up!" Haley yelled as her tennis shoes pounded in the dirt, chasing after him.

Haley raced after Sam off the beaten path, into the woods. "Sam!" She called for him as her honey orbs searched all around. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness hidden in the trees. Shadows popped with her every move, but she couldn't see Sam anywhere. Her heart pounded, the darkness and cold seemed to be closing in on her. Her will carried her on, she had to make it right. Her heart screamed to explain, and to not let him simmer mad off somewhere alone.

Stepping through a group of tall bushes that scratched at her exposed skin, rounding a tree that blocked her way, Haley called for him again. "Sam!" Her voice echoed in the night, but only wildlife answered her call.

_Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die_

_Looks like we're in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye._

In a second he took her by surprise. Haley felt strong hands on her body before she ever saw a face. Spinning her around before her back crashed against the jagged bark of an Evergreen. As soon as her back made impact so did his warm lips. Hot and feverish against her mouth, like he needed to taste her more then he needed a breath to live. She felt her mouth kissing him back before she could even think it through. Kissing him was so natural now her lips always instinctively responded. Sam's kiss felt scorching and lustful as his hands released her arms, finding her body with a wanting touch. From such close range, and in the dark Haley couldn't make out his face, but she'd know his kiss anywhere. She recognized the feel of his lips against her own, his taste in her mouth, and what places his hands loved to touch her the most. In the haste of the moment Sam's quick hand began unzipping her jacket as the other one slipped under the fabric of her shirt. His palm felt bitterly cold against her warm skin on that chilly fall night. His kisses like a demand against her mouth, they barely allowed her a chance to catch her breath.

Anger rumbled up Haley's belly with Sam's intent. After she had worried about him, chased after him, and now the taste of her was all he wanted when she found him. Her hands found and gripped his shoulders before she shoved him off her. Finally she found his whiskey eyes shining in the darkness. "Is that all you want from me anymore?" Haley hollered at Sam as her heart constricted against the way his hands had made her feel cheap tonight.

Sam stood there silently in the darkened wilderness, just staring at her as if he was mute. Unsure if he could trust her with what was really tearing him up inside.

Upset by his silence that answered her all on it's own, Haley abruptly turned from Sam, and began to march away, back to the car.

She only managed a few steps before she felt his strong arms encircle her waist, and grip her tight. "No." His husky breath whispered insistently to her. His hot breath hitting the side of her face from such close range.

"Let me go!" Haley yelled at him and into the echoing wilderness as she squirmed in his grip, and tried to break free.

Sam fought with her, not willing to let her go. Heart pounding, losing her was the last thing he wanted. In the struggle they lost their footing, Sam came crashing to his knees in the dirt and pine needles as Haley, trapped in his arms fell to the ground too.

Sam clung desperately to her body, his breath growing rapid and heavy against her.

"I don't want to lose you." He finally confessed, Haley could hear the breaking pain on his breath as he let slip those words.

Finally she stopped struggling, her gaze glancing over at him. Haley met his eyes as his lips moved with life once again. "Hales, I don't want to lose you…Not to him." Sam begged like a scared little boy. Like she held his whole world in her hands and could crumble it on a whim of her will. His whiskey eyes looked so vulnerable as they gazed upon her, full of tears that shined in the dim moon light.

Seeing it on his face again, the pain and devastation she had caused Sam, Haley's heart broke in her chest. Desperately she wrapped her arms around him, giving into him now that she finally understood where this was coming from. That he was still scared he could lose her, lose her to Dean. Haley's face fell inches from his as tears swelled in her eyes. "You wont. Not to anyone, not ever, I promise." Frantically Haley's breath and words came out as she tried to quiet his fears while finding herself choking up in his grief too.

Seeing the promise he needed so badly in her eyes, knowing she meant every word of it, Sam leaned in, and kissed her soft full lips hanging inches away. Again and again, he kissed her brief, soft, and needy. Haley's lips meeting him for every step. These kisses weren't heated or asked for more. These were kiss of reassurance and requited love. To knowing the person you love most in the world loves you too.

Their lips took their fill, drinking it in before Haley slipped from his face, and buried hers in the crook of his neck. Their arms entangled, they clung to each other like locks on a chain. Holding onto what they had, and what they hadn't lost, but had come so close. The wildlife carried on around them. The night kept it's darkness, but there they stayed together. Tangled up in each other where it felt safest, where the world couldn't rip them apart.

Lost in their embrace they heard it. First a rustling in the distance, then a crashing and quick snapping of branches and brushes. His deep demanding voice filled the night air like the howl of a coyote. "Haley! … Sam!" Dean hollered frantically into the night as he raced into the forest.

The light of the flashlight bounced and weaved through the overgrown forest with Dean's stomping, uneven run.

"Here!" Haley called out noting the frantic worry in his tone. Her arms still clung to Sam as they slowly rose to their feet from the forest floor.

In an instant the light shone upon them, blinding their eyes. Causing both kids to lift a hand shielding their pupils from the burn.

"What the hell?" Dean hollered in a husky panting tone as he stood before them attempting to catch his breath. When Dean had heard Haley's yell filter out through the forest, he didn't waste a second before grabbing a flash light, the shotgun full of salt rounds, and hauling ass into those woods.

"Sorry Dean, didn't mean to scary you." Haley apologized as her orbs linked with his in the dark, the fear in his emerald eyes telling her how badly he had worried.

Finally taking the full scene in, Dean noted the way the kids were tangled in each other's arms, giving him the answer he needed. "Next time you two want to play rough as part of your make-up sex don't do it where I can think you're getting eaten alive." Slipped thick and edgy off Dean's tone, convinced this had been something kinky as pay back for what had happened that got out of hand.

"We weren't…" Sam started in, his voice testy as his eyes beaded onto his big brother.

Hearing that tone Dean didn't want to start back up their altercation. It was too late and too cold to fight. "Sure thing Sammy, that's why her jacket's undone. Now move out, let's head back to the car." Dean cut his little brother off as he shined the light back toward where they were parked. Signaling everyone to move, holiday over.

_Don't go around tonight,_

_Well, it's bound to take your life,_

_There's a bad moon on the rise._

"Bad Moon Rising" Creedence Clearwater Revival

**Note:** So I worked a lot of different elements into this chapter. I know a lot of you want Sam, Haley, Dean to just make up and move on. And they will, but I didn't want to skirt around the realism of the situation. How these kind of betrayals in real life aren't just swept under the rug and forgotten. I'm trying to be authentic with the storyline. They will all come back around that's where this is going. I'm trying to show Sam and Haley still have some issues, but they will rise above their situation very soon. Some of you might not like the way Sam is acting out but can you understand why he is? The pain and doubt inside of him that's driving him to be this way? I also wanted to show the family dynamic and a traditional Winchester Thanksgiving as mentioned in 5:16 "Dark side of the moon" Then at the end I tried to show Dean's protective devotion. That no matter what's going on between him and the kids. No matter if they're in a fight or not he would risk everything for them in a second, because Dean is a deeply loyal character.


	44. Chapter 44

**Note;** I felt the need to touch on something from last chapter. I'm not saying anyone thought this way but I wanted to clear up how I feel about it. The way Sam came at Haley in the woods had nothing to do with sex. It wasn't that he was horny or anything superficial like that. In a sense it was Sam trying to claim Haley. Trying to say and prove that she was unequivocally His and no one else's. And in a twisted way by taking her physically to him that was a statement that she was His and only His. It all started in "Push It" when they got hot and heavy even though Sam was aggressive about it. Sam is battling his feelings over what she and Dean did but instead of talking about it he's taking it out in other ways. Ways that I am in no way saying are right. That all comes to a head in this chapter. But I just wanted to clarify what he was after really had nothing to do with sex, it was just more of the means to the end.

_**It's Time For Apologies**_

_Yesterday he said my eyes Were fading fast away, __I said well what do you expect _

_You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best I wouldn't feel this way _

Sam had returned to his quasi-home from school late that afternoon. Another new town, new school with new teachers to meet, books, and papers to gather. Haley took the same diligence in her work that Sam did, but still she made it back to the motel before him. Glad when she made it back in time to see Dad and Dean before they departed for the next few days to hunt down a Revenant come back from the dead.

As soon as Sam stepped through the motel door he spotted Haley, standing as if she had been waiting for him the whole time. His grip tightened it's hold on the strap of his backpack as it hung over his shoulder. His big feet stilled in the shag carpet as his eyes instantly darted for hers, suspense hinging to see if it was good news or bad she was waiting to deliver.

A light shined in Haley's eyes as she attempted to hold her excitement within. A smile twitched at her lips when their orbs met and even before she spoke Sam knew her words weren't going to hurt.

"What?" Slipped easily off his lips as anticipation began to burn in his belly. Letting his loaded down backpack slip off his shoulder, Sam lowered it by the strap to the ground while his eyes never faltered from Haley's, and the impending moment they held.

Leaning against the cheap table that accompanied their room and home for the next month, Haley let her giddy fingers tap the glossy plywood surface. "Dad finally picked up the mail from the P.O. box in Kansas…" Haley started laying the ground work before revealing the prize. A smile she was unable to restrain any longer grower on her lips by the second.

Sam's heart began to pound in his chest so hard he could hear it in his ears, his breath quicken with the expectancy. "And…" Drawled off slow and heavy from his lips as his orbs locked so hard with hers it could have sent them colliding together from the force.

Finally Haley's slender fingers stopped tapping on the table. Her finger tips traced the outline of two large thick envelopes that lay atop it. "We heard back from Stanford…" She teased him, dragging it out painfully slow, savoring the sweetness.

Stanford, that one name instantly immobilized Sam. It was one of their top choices for college. A long shot at best, he hadn't held his breath on getting in, but looking in her eyes and the excitement they held, he found his breath escaping him. Sam's whiskey eyes hinged on Haley's begging her to speak because he couldn't. He couldn't find the words to say.

Suddenly the smile burst wide and spastic on her beautiful face. "We got in!" She screamed with joy at him as she bounced with elation where she stood.

Haley's words sounded foreign as his brain tried to digest them. Their meaning so big and impacting, Sam couldn't swallow them in one bite, let alone define them.

"We got in…" He repeated numbly, foggy disbelief overtaking him like a dumbstruck fool.

The enthusiasm exploded from Haley once again, not dismayed by his initial shock, because she had had the same experience upon opening the envelopes too.

"We got in! Sammy, all of our dreams are going to come true!" Haley squealed at him again unable to hold in her momentum another second without exploding as she raced to Sam. Wrapping her arms around his neck she instantly jumped into his arms, and Sam instinctively caught her as her legs tangled around his waist.

Her lips crashed into her boyfriend's in celebration, planting a tender one on his lips, making the moment all that more real and savoring.

As Haley pulled back and met his eyes, Sam felt it all hit him. The realization that all his dreams were coming true. That he wouldn't have live his life on the road forever. That he wouldn't be trapped under his father's lock and key. That he would escape. That he would make something of his life. He would have a normal life. The one thing Sam wished for above anything else. The one thing he always thought he'd never have… normalcy.

A frenzy erupted within him as the news became breathtakingly real. "We got in!" This time it was Sam shouting with exuberance as he gazed up at Haley and felt so in love with her in that moment. Like they were young kids again and she was the only girl in the world to him. The overwhelming bliss rushed through Sam's veins as his lips dove up and captured Haley's in a passionate earth shattering kiss. One hand held her steady from under her butt while the other around her back slipped free to lovingly cup her cheek. The ecstasy from this life altering news rushing through them was intoxicating as they celebrated in each other.

The kiss danced on long, slow, and tender against the lips before they finally broke for the need of air. A true trademark Sammy smile, blinding like a solar eclipse filled his face as his panting breath fluttered up against Haley's crimson flustered cheeks. "Where's Dad and Dean? Do they know?" He question her in a husky whisper. Still delirious from news that brought the world down before his feet.

His smile contagious like a suicide pact, Haley couldn't help the grin that burst wide on her lips as she gazed down into Sam's sensitive eyes lost in his depths that saw only her. "On their way to Lansing. They left before I got the news." Her words came out as thick and smooth as his wanting breath.

A wicked spark ignited in Sam's orbs with her confirmation of what he already figured, they were alone. His mouth leaned over, and nipped at her lower lip, seducing her senses. Instantly their kiss reignited like an explosion, hot enough to melt metal and free like when the wind blows through a dancing flame. Tangled up in elation so high it reached the heavens. Celebrating in each other, and what they had accomplished together, Sam blindly stumbled them over to the nearest bed. His precious girl still tangled in his arms. The indescribable joy that comes with knowing the dreams they worked so hard for were coming true was the accelerant that had them pawing at each other as soon as they hit the mattress. In desperate need to love on each other, in praise of what they had accomplished and the way the future now looked so bright.

_My love is like a blanket That gets a little bit too warm sometimes, _

_I wanna wrap somebody in it Who can hold me in his arms Cause when it got a little too hot in there _

_He was always stepping out for air and he froze, Oh he froze_

Hours later they lie lounging on the bed together. Their creamy smooth skin tangled in the cheaply made sheets and thin blanket. The afterglow of bliss still humming through their veins, still flushed from the release on their cheeks. The edges of their skin brushed, not enough to reignite the flames just enough to let the remaining smoking embers burn.

The sweet soft melody of Haley's voice filled the room like their own soundtrack as she carried on. Telling him everything their acceptance letter had said. The excitement palpable on her breath, contagious to Sam who lie beside her listening mesmerized by her every words that foretold their dreams would come true.

"A full ride, Sammy." She repeated giddy for the hundredth time. The words never losing their grip of powerful meaning. Almost like they were a crystal ball that allowed Sam and Haley a peak into the future they had always dreamt of.

Sam softly smiled upon the only girl he could imagine sharing his dreams with as she shot up in bed like a spark as an idea filled her brilliant mind. "Let me get the letter." Haley chimed, all bubbly as if she had had too many glasses of champagne.

Grabbing Sam's oversized tee-shirt off the shaggy carpet floor below, Haley tugged it over her head as she climbed out from under the covers, and stepped off the bed.

Going to the fading blue plywood table, Haley snatched the package Stanford had sent to each of them, and with a dancing step moved back to the bed where Sam waited for her.

Plopping down upon the faded sheet coved mattress she held the letter out where they both could see it. "See right there Sammy… Tuition and fees covered." Her delicate finger pointed upon the thick white page as a blinding smile made her radiant face shine extra bright.

Sam's eyes caught Haley's, the weight of the moment almost more then either of them could bare. Good things rarely came a Winchester's way and this wish come true made up for all the other let downs.

Sam's gaze slipped from Haley's glowing orbs back to the letter just as she shifted in her spot on the bed to be closer to him. That's when Sam caught sight of the dark pigment upon her pale skin out of his peripherals.

His focused whiskey eyes narrowed in their gaze as he zeroed in on what shouldn't have been there. Delicately his hand fell to her thigh and slide up to the inner crevasse trying to reveal what his shirt was partially hiding on her.

Haley squirmed a little under his touch as her eyes fell down upon him with a mischievous twinkle in her honey orbs for what she thought was another come on by Sam.

His finger tips brushed back his cotton shirt until her inner thigh was fully exposed to his eyes and what they beheld startled Sam. She had thick dark bruises along her inner thigh. He's amazed he had missed them earlier when they were all tangled up in a fleshy sort of way, but now he's desperately curious to know their origin. "What is that?" Sam questioned gently on his deep breath. His eyebrows furrowing as his gaze further inspected and contemplated a site that put him on edge.

Finally realizing he was staring hard at something on her, Haley's orbs fell to his hand, and instantly saw the same thing Sam did. "It's nothing. It's just a bruise." She quickly brushed off as she pulled the shirt back over the mark in question to hide it. Hoping Sam would accept her answer at face value, and drop it.

_He said it's crazy How love stays with me_

_You know it hurts me Cause I don't wanna fight this war_

_It's amazing to see me reading through this scene Of love and fear and apologies_

Any injury to her beautiful body concerned Sam. He never wanted her hurt and even more then that he felt responsible to protect her. To make sure nothing could bruise her body in any way. "A nasty bruise. It looks like it hurts. How did you…" Sam countered, starting to ask how she got it as his hand gently fought with her, pushing the fabric of his shirt back up so he could get another look. As he did his head cocked to the side and it hit him like a winding sock to the gut. What that bruise was in the shape of… a hand. As if a hand had gripped her inner thigh so hard and tight it broke blood vessels. Sam's breath picked up heavy and burdened as an ache rippled through his heart. He was going to ask her who did that to her, but in his heart he already knew. "…Did I …Did I do that to you?" His whiskey orbs blinked widely as Sam's mind raced with the damaging implication that his own two hands had actually hurt her.

Haley could see the worry and the guilt blinding in his orbs even though they weren't looking at her. Her heart began to race. Instantly regretting not hiding it better. From the moment that mark formed, Haley had been adamant Sam never discover them. She knew he hadn't meant to make it form and she loved him enough to want to protect him from his unintentional mistake. Pulling his hand from her leg, Haley pushed down the shirt, and held it covered so he couldn't attempt at another peak. "You didn't mean to. You just got caught up in the heat of the moment a few days back. It's ok, it'll go away. Just forget it's there." Her soft breath tried to reassure him as her gaze held onto his face begging for him to look up at her and see she meant every word.

Staring at the spot she held hidden, knowing what lie beneath as Haley's confirmation echoed in his head Sam literally felt sick to his stomach. Like he could lose his last meal any second. _Heat of the moment_, pounded over and over in his skull. How hot had it been that he'd leave a hand print on her that to anyone else would look like he had coerced his way in-between her legs. His stomach tangled in tight choking knots… _Careless_, the word rang in his head like a ringing bell at high noon. He had been carelessly with Haley lately. Careless with the girl he loves. So angry and hurt by her betrayal that he's been taking it out on her instead of confessing to the way he feels. That bruise haunting in his mind was the reality check Sam knew he was long over due for.

Tortured whiskey eyes shot up to Haley's from his position on the bed. _No more…_ vibrated as the truest answer from his heart. "It's not ok." Sam spoke out, his voice growing thick by emotion as tears glistened in his sensitive eyes. Reaching out for her, Sam placed the acceptance letter on the blanket before gently pulling Haley down onto the bed beside him. Rolling onto his side, he hovered over his favorite girl where he could gaze upon the beauty and splendor of her face. Catching her eyes that gazed up at him with so much love, that trusted him without a second guess, she made Sam want to be a good man. He was naturally, always had been, but looking into her trusting honey eyes that never backed down from his, Haley made Sam want to be the best man he could be for her, to deserve her. With a delicate touch, Sam's hand caressed down the side of her breathtaking face. "It's not ok. Not for any reason. No one should ever hurt you. Least of all me." Sam whispered soft and deep, clouded by sensitive emotion as if they were trapped in a world all their own and he was confessing the truest nature of his heart.

Leaning down he tenderly kissed her lips like a confession of love that spoke louder then words. Haley's pout kissed him back with just as much devotion as her hand reached up to cup his cheek the way his hand was still touching hers.

Slowly pulling back, Sam broke the kiss that stood for love, and captured her eyes.

"I haven't been treating you right lately. I've been so upset that I left myself be someone I'm not with you. You deserve better and I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen anymore. I promise." Sam's hot breath splashed her face with his words from such close range, as his eyes bore down into Haley's screaming he meant every word with every beat of his heart.

Gazing down lost into Haley's eyes from inches away, especially after receiving the news today that said they truly would share their dreams together. Sam knew in his heart they were as meant to be as thunder and lightening, as the sun after a storm. That there was no one else he'd rather share his life with, and that he didn't want to hold a grudge, and be mean anymore. He just wanted to love her, because it came as natural to him as the urge to breath.

Haley's heart raced with the deep penetration of Sam's words, she had to fight back the tears that wanted to form. Flying on a cloud so high, all Haley had wanted was to have him love her again ever since he stopped looking at her the same. Finally having it she could hardly hold herself together as she gazed into his eyes and never wanted to let go.

Leaning in Sam brushed the tip of his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss before his quiet breath came to life. "I love you." He let slip for the first time in months. For the first time since she had betrayed him with Dean.

Hearing those three little words Haley came undone. Tears she couldn't hold back swelled in her eyes. "I love you too." Her emotion thick breath choked out, before the two leaned, and got lost in a slow passionate kiss.

_He said it's crazy How love stays with me_

_You know it hurts me That I didn't figure it out before_

_And now it's too late for a soliloquy, It's way too late for dignity_

_It's time for apologies _

_Grace Potter, the Nocturnal, "Apologizes"_

**Note:** I know the probability of two kid living in the same home getting into Stanford even if they do share different last names, is pretty much impossible but on this I'm taking creative license for the sake of the story.


	45. Chapter 45

_**A Fire Starting In My Heart**_

_There's a fire starting in my heart,Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the I can see you crystal clearGo ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship how I'll leave, with every piece of youDon't underestimate the things that I will do_

"I'm gonna go grab a beer unless you guys want to watch a movie or something." Dean tried, reaching out in a round about Dean way. He'd never say how desperately he wanted to spend time with them. He'd never say that endless beers or sleazy chicks meant nothing to him compared to a night in with them. He'd never say he missed spending time with them so badly that if he walked out that door he'd drink himself into a black hole just so he wouldn't have to feel the empty pit growing inside him. Dean would never admit those things, instead he pretended like it barely mattered at all, in true Dean fashion.

"No, go get you're beer. We wouldn't want to hold you back." Sam answered nonchalantly, but the underlying tension was still there. It hadn't gone away between them. Sam still looked at his brother and saw a guy who was willing to betray his trust if it was in his own interest. Too bad that couldn't be further from the truth, but Sam didn't see that.

Dean nodded silently as he pulled his old leather coat on and stepped for the door.

"Don't wait up." His husky voice let slip as if the rejection wasn't tearing him up inside. As if it wasn't bleeding from his piercing emerald eyes, the true pathways to his soul.

Standing beside Sam, Haley watched Dean's eyes flash to hers briefly before going back to Sam's as he spoke. She could see it, no matter what façade he spewed from his shapely pout she could see the blistering hurt swollen in his emerald orbs. How badly being cast out from the group was ripping him up.

The emotion clogged her chest as she had to fight back the tears burning to form. Her heart screamed at her to invite him to stay with them, but her mind knew it would only infuriate Sam, and Dean wouldn't anyway. He wouldn't go against Sam's word, especially if it was Haley who made the request, not anymore.

As the motel door shut the noise echoed through the small room, vibrating through Haley like a shockwave of torment. The tortured broken look in Dean's eyes just before he left plagued her mind. The emptiness and heartbreak it left behind rattled through her heart and down to her belly. Fighting so hard to hold it all in, to hold it together. Her body revolted against her under the increasing pressure, Haley's stomach flipped against the strain as it sent bile shooting up her throat.

She watched concern fill Sam's whiskey eyes as her hand rapidly covered her mouth, and she had mere seconds to spare as she raced into the bathroom. Emptying her last meal into the porcelain bowl as the tears she fought so hard to hold in now burned her eyes and slipped free.

Haley can hear the sound of Sam's hurried steps as he rushed into the bathroom behind her as she begins to cough and dry heave into the bowl. Only when she's sure nothing else is going to come back up does Haley pull back from the toilet. Seated on the cool bathroom linoleum, her back flush against the bathtub, she takes the bottle of water that Sam hands to her.

Wiping away her tears, Haley tried to get her emotions under control as she took a swig of water, and watches Sam take a seat on the floor across from her, to support her, to be by her side.

"Are you ok?" Sam quietly questions Haley, worry thick on his breath, the same fire consuming his eyes as his hand reaches out to give her calf a supportive squeeze.

That word… _Ok. _That question… _Are you ok. _It was Haley's complete undoing. She had thought she could pull herself back together, but as Sam's question rang inside her, Haley knew she couldn't. She couldn't hold this inside anymore without combusting where she sat. "No," Haley cried out as tears slip down her flushed cheeks, her eyes pinning him with velocity within them. "I'm not ok, Sam." Her voice pitches off as another round of tears roll down her face and a choking breath sucked in past her trembling lip.

"What happened? Did I…?" Sam's concerned voice started up, sensitivity piercing his puppy dog eyes as he genuinely didn't understand what this was about.

Seeing he didn't get it Haley cut him off before he wasted anymore of his breath.

"You and Dean, Sam!" Haley found her voice yelling at him more then she at intended too as she wiped at the tears that frantically fell.

_The scars of your love, remind me of keep me thinking that we almost had it allThe scars of your love, they leave me breathlessI can't feeling_

Instantly Sam's voice died, his face went stoic, but blank. Saying he understood completely, but he also didn't know what to say.

Knowing this was a touchy subject for him, Haley took the lead, releasing the flood waters she had held back for too long. "We hurt you, and that was so wrong. I would give anything to change that. And if you need to hate somebody I can understand that… Then hate me. Hate me, blame me, but not your brother." Haley chocked on the words, the throbbing in her heart making it hard to catch her breath as she pleaded with him to hear her.

"He's always been there for you. He loves you so much, Sam. And I cannot handle being the thing that ripped you two apart." Haley sucked in a shuttered breath, wrestling so hard with her own body to not completely succumb to her tears and become reduced to a blubbering fool. Her heart pounding with guilt and pain so intense it left a physical ache in her chest.

Sucking in a sharp rattled breath, Haley held in her tears. The emotion burning in her chest from the restraint of something that needed to be released. Piercing Sam's eyes with clear tear glistened orbs, Haley became deathly serious. "I can't handle this. It is physically making me sick. So if you have to hate somebody, hate me, but you have to make this right with Dean. I can not keep living like this." The tears bordered thick and heavy along the edges of her eyes as Haley's breath escaped hoarse but firm. She wasn't going to sit on the side lines and let them figure this one out. She couldn't do that anymore. She was the chisel that was breaking them apart and she couldn't bare it. She loved them both too much to let them lose the sacred bond they had always shared because of her.

Staring into Haley's urgent eyes that were moments from breaking all over again Sam heard her. Her words surprising him a little, but piercing him deep just the same. Showing him how strongly she meant her point. "I thought you said you couldn't live without me." Sam reminded her on a quiet breath. Needing her reaction, needing it to set the final stone in place.

Haley's eyes were unrelenting upon Sam. His words stung at her heart, because she still remembered the moment she told him that, and how she meant it with every beat of her heart, still did, but this impasse had to stop. "I can't… But I know I can't live like this either." Her words whispered raw off her lips as a few broken tears fell from her eyes with their validity.

Sam didn't say a word, but nodded, reassuring her he was listening. Listening with the deepest part of him. He never wanted to hurt her like this, to make her carry this burden, and part of him desperately wanted to forgive Dean too, but it had been so much easier to blame him through all of this then blame Haley. Forgiving Dean meant admitting how wrong his girlfriend had been too. It meant admitting that even though his brother could do completely screwed up things, he'd still love him in spite of them. Sam missed his big brother, he wanted him back. The guy who had always looked out for him even more then his own father. The guy who gave Sam the last bowl of Lucky Charms even when he hadn't had any yet. The same guy who stole Christmas present just so Sammy could have some to open up Christmas morning when Dad didn't show. Sam's hero, the one constant throughout his whole life. And hearing how broken up Haley was made Sam realize this was killing him too. It was time to resolved this. It's what he needed to do

_We could of had it allRolling in the deepYou had my heart inside your handAnd you played it to the beat_

With Haley's emotion thick words of wisdom playing over and over again like a jingle in Sam's mind he found himself in the Impala with his brother by his side. Taking a long ride to no where and every where all at once. The first ten minutes were filled with awkward silence, slighted only by the humming roar of the motor and the constant swishing sound as air rushed past the speeding car.

Emerald eyes darted quick, fleeting, and frequent to the passenger seat. His mind running a million miles a second on hidden intentions and lingering conflict. Like a quiet bullet, confidence swelled within him just before his perfect pout parted, and let his voice escape from the confines. "Sam, what's the plan here?" Casual in it's approach, Dean's words slipped free, but not even that could mask the echoing curiosity that held within his question.

Sam's deep sensitive whiskey eyes flashed to his brother. Holding him within the grip of his pupil as his lips stayed mute. The seconds pass as Dean's eyes stay to the road that calls his attention, but his skin feels the weight of Sam's stare upon him.

Like the blink of an eye Sam's gaze shoots back out the passenger window, so quick Dean could almost wonder if he had ever been staring at him at all. The seconds skip like a smooth rock across the top of a beautiful crystal lake. "I want to us to get past this… But I have to know why you tried to sleep with her?" Only his lips moved, no other muscle on his face came to life. His gaze lie distant miles away out the window to the world slipping by in a speeding flash, but even without a deep sign of acknowledgement it was easy to hear how much this meant to him.

It was now Dean who went mum, still lips that had forgotten how to move. His heart pounded like a caged bird between his ribs when his words finally slipped out quick as if to convince them both. "I wasn't trying to sleep with…" Dean started to cover, but Sam's voice abruptly shut him off as if he had cut the main power source.

"No more lying!" Burst demanding and forceful from Sam's lips as his eyes shot to Dean in that moment pinning him within his grip. A huffed breath escaped Sam's dry parted lips as Dean and his eyes met for only a moment, but only a moment is all it took to send the message loud and clear.

Instantly Dean's gaze returned to the road as Sam's flew back out the passenger window. A window that held him in the confines of that car and miles away too. "I'm trying to be understanding, but don't lie… Just don't lie… You and I both know you haven't 'Just' kissed a girl since Stacy Norman your freshman year of high school."

A huff flared Dean's nostrils as a sexy smirk twisted at his lips. It never ceased to amaze him the brilliance that lie inside his geeky little brother and the way he never missed a beat even when he wasn't suppose to be keeping count. But then Sam's question resurfaced like a floating body in his mind and instantly Dean's smile faded from his lips. Only a sting in his heart left as remnants. A heavy breath escaped past Dean's lips something close to a sigh. He had asked himself that question a million times, but being faced with it never got easier. So Dean shed his heart, giving the only reasons he had ever found within himself. "Because I was drunk… Because she was there… Because I didn't want to be alone… I don't have a better answer then that, Sammy." That confession rippled off heavy from his lips. Raw and brutally true in a way Dean's natural instincts told him to resist, but with a chance to be close with Sammy again lying on his doorstep Dean would force himself outside his comfort zone.

_Baby I have no story to be toldBut I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn,Think of me in the depths of your despairMaking a home down there as mine sure won't be shared_

Silence resurfaced in the car, deafening and cold. Saying Dean's words were being taken in, but how they would be received was still unknown. Finally Sam's voice filled the car with sound. Something heavy, and strained by tortured feelings deepened his breath, as his eyes stayed glued where his pain could only be heard and not seen. "I want to believe that… I want to believe it's that simple… That she could have been anybody… But she wasn't just anybody, Dean. It was Haley, and I've never seen you forget that fact. No matter how drunk you get, Not ever… I want to believe you, because you're my big brother, but I can't shake the feeling there's more to it then that. Even if it's things you don't want to admit to yourself…" His breath thickened as the sentences carried on, and as each slipped free Dean could hear how much harder the struggle was becoming for Sam to hold it together. He could already picture the tears pooled along his sensitive whiskey eyes as he bit back the emotion.

The pain in Sam's voice was more then Dean could bare. Dean had very few weak spots. Made of solid armor, the Fort Knox of human beings, but Sam was a chip in that shield, he could break in past any guards to the deepest parts of his heart. From the moment Dean carried baby Sammy from their burning home, from all the days he spent looking out for the kid even more then dad did, Sam could crumble Dean like no one else could. Without a second hesitation, Dean swerved abruptly, pulling the car off onto the side of the road. In seconds he killed the engine before gripping the steer wheel tight so he'd have the nerve to say it straight. Dean let out a heavy burdened breath as he lightly shook his head, full of disappointment over himself, his choices, and the pain they had caused everyone he loved.

"Damnit Sammy, I'm sorry! I just wish I could take it all back!" Dean's heavy breath hollered from the drivers seat. The velocity of his words trembling his body from the weight with which he meant them. "I wish Dad had never taken you on that stupid hunt. I wish I had never come home that night. I wish she had just been asleep when I did. I wish to hell I could fix things with you, but damnit if everything didn't all go wrong!" He let out a heavy ragged breath, the emotions raging out from within him taking Dean by surprise they were so powerful and adamant.

Throw your soul threw every open doorCount your blessings to find what you look forTurn my sorrow into treasured goldYou pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

"… You're my brother, Sam. There nothing I wouldn't do for you. It's my job to…" His words grew thick from the strong emotions tied to what his little brother meant to him. It's Dean's job… Job to what? To take care of Sam? To never hurt him? To love him? All of those were true. True to a point Dean had based his life around them and having to live with how badly he had hurt Sam was crippling. "All I can promise you is nothing like that will ever happen again." Dean hung his heart out on the line. His broken bleeding heart that could have easily matched Sam's, both worse for the wear. Dean wished he had a magic trick to make this all go away, but he didn't. So he gave the only thing he had to give, his word nothing would ever happen with Haley again.

That puppy dog look no one mastered better surfaced in Sam's eyes as he finally turned to face his big brother in the drivers seat. His lips held mute in a moment of profound respect and contemplation. Understanding better then anyone how hard that confession had been for his brother. "Do you like her?" His words slipped quiet off his husky breath. Something vulnerable penetrating his sensitive orbs as Sam's heart began to open like a door being cracked to let Dean creep back in.

Holding his little brother's gaze, a gaze upon him that felt like the sun heating up his skin. Dean's heart ached with the unspoken pain that lie in Sam's eyes even if it barely reached his lips. Last person Dean ever wanted to hurt was Sammy. He's rather gnaw off his own arm. Knowing he put the swelling wound in Sam's eyes was like a bullet lodged in his gut. "Not like that, and not as much as I care about you." Dean reassured with his deepest sincerity.

That look in his big brother's eyes as Dean said I love you in the only way he knows how. In that moment Sam could see it. The big brother who use to watch over him for hours on end all alone in those crappy motels when their dad was God only knows where. The brother who made sure holidays were still special even when Dad couldn't make it back. The brother who threatened to kill anyone who hurt him. The brother who showed him what family and unconditional love was. It was all right there in that moment, where it had always been, even if it was tucked away at times. A gleaming in Dean's vulnerably honest eyes that said no one in this world meant more to him then what Sammy did. That was the moment that set him free, like finding peace somewhere inside. Whatever happened that night, why it happened, it didn't matter anymore, because Sam believed his brother when he said it wouldn't happen again, because the bond they shared left no room for anything, but forgiveness.

"I believe you. I'm ready to put this behind us." Sam's breath was low and quiet giving reverent acknowledgement to the brotherly moment they had shared. Of the bond they share that is like nothing and no other relationship they've known. That it would always be them, because it had always been them.

An elated smirk burst wide across Dean's overjoyed face. To see that look in his little brother's eyes. That look that told him they were going to be ok. That he could have his brother back, his favorite little guy. Dean couldn't have held that in even if he wanted to.

Reaching out, Dean playfully ruffled Sam haired in a way he had since Sammy was young, in a way Sam had hated almost as long. "I think this calls for a beer." Dean chimed with a devilish grin.

Without another word Dean started the car, letting the engine purr before he merged back onto the road. Speeding away like a racing bullet, off the celebrate having his brother, his favorite person back in his life.

_We could of had it allRolling in the deepYou had my heart inside your hand_

_We could of had it allRolling in the deepYou had my heart inside your hand_

"_Rolling in the deep" Adele_


	46. Chapter 46

_******Note:** _Alright here it is. This is the final chapter to this segment of the story. The next piece will be started in a new thread tilted "There goes my life"  
_******P.P.S.** _Theres alot going into this chapter. As you all should know from reading my previous stories, my stories are highly complex in plot. This is no different. This chapter deals with the long time lingering question about Haley's mother. Answering questions while creating new ones. Hope you enjoy._  
_

_**There's A Calm Before The Storm**_

_Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm._

_I know, and it's been comin' for some _

_When it's over, so they say, it'll rain a sunny day._

_I know, shinin' down like water._

Haley had given up on her biological parents. The very concept of them felt fainter and more distant every day. Her father dead, her mother God only knows where. Haley refused to dwell on them. On what could have been or where they were now. Most days her time with them felt like a distant dream fading from the pages of her life. She allowed her father the reverence of thought, but only in brief spurts that hung just above the surface of her heart and mind, where it didn't hurt. Her mother was a banished memory all together. Gone like ashes swept up in the wind of her father's death. Whatever ties left to that woman and what had become of her had disappeared from Haley's mind like a shadow at high noon. She had given up the hope to wonder years ago, she didn't even want to know what at had happened to her anymore. And that's the way Haley thought it would stay until destiny found her.

It was a chilly winter day in Minnesota when fate put Haley just where it wanted her to be. The Winchester men were there hunting what Haley figured out was a Wendigo, while they took turns keeping company, and a watchful eye over their baby girl safe back in town. Haley had felt under the weather all morning when Dean decided to take her and Sam out for breakfast. Trying to make her feel better.

Now Sammy and Haley stood side by side in the bitter cold, warmed only by the steamy heat floating up from their hot chocolate filled paper cups. Their eyes gazing amusingly though the large pane glass window of the small town diner, while their lips moved teasingly as they watched Dean shamelessly hit on their previous waitress now seated behind the counter.

"She's going to tell him to hit the curb." Haley made a guess with a light airy laugh as she tried to read the girl's answer by the expressions on her face.

"No way, he'll get the number, just wait." Sam threw down his bet with a twinkle of playful excitement in his whiskey orbs as the pair found humor in Dean's attempts at another cheap hook-up.

They watched with youthful eager anticipation at the game they had turned Dean's female persuasions into. Defeat shot loud in Haley's face as the pair watched a smile spread across the pretty waitresses mouth as she discreetly slipped Dean a small piece of paper across the counter top.

"Told you!" The sound of Sam's triumphant laughter echoed threw Haley's head as she rolled her eyes with the loss, her gaze slipping off to the side with the movement. That's when she spotted her, like an unmistakable shining white light. A woman standing half a block down from them. Her shoes buried partially in the snow as she stared blatantly and unwaveringly at Haley. Honey orbs narrowed and squinted as Haley stared back at the woman knowing she knew her from somewhere, but unable to place where in the initial moment.

That's when it hit Haley, like a piano falling from a second story window onto her head, splattering her to the ground below. Her heart shot to life frantic and pounding wildly as Haley felt her breath rip from her mouth. "Mom…" Slipped breathless and in disbelieving shock past Haley's numb lips. Goosebumps forming along her skin as her perplexed face tilted to the side. It was chilling the way she looked exactly as Haley remembered, same hair, same face, same damn outfit even.

As if that woman could magically hear Haley's whisper of recognition from a half a block away she turned suddenly and began walking away.

An urgent anxious pounding picked up in Haley's heart, as she felt a piece of her slipping away with every step her mother took in the opposite direction. This was a once in a lifetime chance, Haley just knew would never come back her way. The tall paper cup slipped forgotten from Haley's numb hand, crashing to the cement snow covered sidewalk below. Spraying the pure white flakes with thick brown liquid as the lid shot off on impact. "Mom!" Haley hollered as loud as her voice could carry as her feet instantly took off running, chasing after a mother she thought she'd never see again. Her boots stomped the slushy snow covered pavement as Haley's legs frantically raced down the street. Her body weaving in, and around crowds of people, as she fought to never lose sight of the back of her mother's head and her distinctive golden brown mane.

"Mom wait!" Haley pleadingly screamed with such urgency and heartbreak her voice cracked under the strain as her feet pounded harder against the sidewalk.

Haley could faintly hear the sound of Sam yelling her name in the distance, but she couldn't stop, and risk the chance she'd lose sight of her mother. Knowing in her heart that opportunity would never surface again.

Like a speeding bullet, with adrenaline coursing through her veins, fear pounding in her heart, Haley reached her mother before she could escape from sight and mind. Her feet halted abruptly in the dirt pelted snow as she gripped her mother's arm tightly, forcing her to stop. Haley's breath panted and heaved as she tried to catch it. "Ma… Mom…" Haley managed to spit out past her rapid breath.

Slowly the woman turned to face Haley, a gentle stoic smile on her poised face. Something peaceful and serene emanating off her in a way Haley didn't remember being there before. A shiver ran down her spine as Haley's honey orbs met her mother's eyes for the first time since she was ten years old, and the moment became terrifyingly real. Here she stood side by side with the woman who disappeared without a trace from her life all those years ago. The woman her father had died trying to find.

"Haley," Lydia spoke softly and enduringly with acknowledgement, but the words that slipped from her peaceful lips next were so shocking they were unbelievable.

"I'm can't be your mother… Not anymore." Lydia spoke calm and collected with a gentle nature that seemed to vibrate out from within her. Something almost otherworldly about her, if Haley could manage to notice past the shock reeling in her mind.

"What?" Chocked off Haley's wounded lips as pain surfaced in her honey orbs that held her mother's pair for the first time in what felt like forever. So long she had almost forgotten the depth inside them, but it was Lydia's words that destroyed the beauty of the reunion. It wasn't like Haley thought they'd be a family again, she could hardly form actual thoughts in the moment at all, but hearing her mother say those words felt like a stab to the heart just the same.

Lydia seemed un-phased by the pain swelling in her daughter's eyes, almost as if she couldn't feel it herself at all. Like a woman on a mission, a driven purpose with which she had to pursue, Lydia slowly reached out, letting her hand softly run along Haley's long silky mane. "You special girl. So much more special then you even know. You were suppose to be an impossibility. A miracle really, and that's why they came after you. That's why they wanted you. If I had known they were coming…" Lydia's words paused for a moment. Something unreadable touching her eyes. Not quite emotion, and yet not entirely devoid of feeling either. "Whatever happens, whatever comes for you now, always remember you're more like me then anything they've done to you, but you must be vigilant and careful with yourself. You must not let the darkness find a foothold in your heart. You must not falter from your instincts that lie inside." Her voice slipped free, soothing and prophetic, almost hypnotic in tone, but her words were so cryptic they baffled.

Haley's head shook lightly as she took a step back from her mother's touch. Her wounded heart feeling this woman didn't deserve the right to caress her anymore. The words her mother was saying left holes reopening inside as questions stirred, rather then healing past wrongs. Rather then explaining her absence for so long. Her words sounded like a mad man's ramblings, something her father would have said, but something about the power in her mother's eyes told Haley she was telling the truth.

"I don't understand what your saying. What do you mean I'm special? What has been done to me?" Haley's lower lip trembled as her insides quaked, this reunion felt more like a nightmare as each second passed.

With each moment it become abundantly more clear to Haley this wasn't the mother she remembered, this wasn't the mother she grew up with, not really. Her intuition toward her mother was right all along, she had changed into something else entirely. Haley wasn't even sure she was human anymore and yet she felt no fear of harm.

Lydia's lips parted as if to explain further, but halted immediately as Sam finally reached Haley's side. Placing a protective hand on Haley's shoulder, he eyed the strange woman carefully for threat. "Hales, what's going on?" Sam questioned her on a low uncertain breath, but his question fell on deaf hears as Haley was too lost in a moment she could hardly comprehend.

Lydia's face visibly tensed with Sam's arrival. Her lips pursed tightly before her eyes darted back to her daughter's and locked. "You must be careful. Your choices are crucial. They could change everything. You and Samuel aren't like everyone else, your union could be catastrophic. You and Samuel need to keep your distance. You should have stayed with your father, you two should have never been this close. It isn't safe. You don't understand the ramifications you could bring upon this world." Lydia pressed her message firmly as if the whole world hung in the balance. Catching her daughter's gaze wavering, seeing her message was hitting a raw nerve with the mention of distancing from Sam. Lydia gently reached for her daughter's arm trying to make a connection of the heart. When she did, she found a realization even she couldn't believe.

Haley and Sam watched confused and captivated as a mixture of startle and worry filled Lydia's eyes as she sucked in a sharp gasp. "… It's too late. It's already been done…" She whispered out numbly as if something had finally pierced through her detached persona.

"You don't have the right to ask that of me, not anymore. Sam is everything to me and I have done nothing wrong." Haley's breath grew clogged by emotional dew as stinging tears swelled in her eyes. Her throat tightening, chest burning, Haley could hardly bare the fact that the mother she hadn't seen in almost sevens years, the only biological relative she had left, would rip her heart out, and toss it to the pavement as if she was forsaken on the first chance they get to see each other again.

Lydia's eyes met Haley's, noting the pain so clearly evident in her voice. It was in that moment and only in that moment that Haley saw true compassion fill her eyes, the way she did when that was still her Mom.

Their eyes held for a moment, a moment that felt like a century and a second all at the same time. Then it was over, before it ever started. "I have to inform my superiors." Lydia stated flatly on her breath, low and close to a mumble before turning abruptly, and dashing around the corner of the building they stood in front of.

_Yesterday, and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard._

_I know, been that way for all my time._

_'Til forever on it goes through the circle fast and slow,_

_I know, and it can't stop, I wonder._

Haley's feet took off after her mother, not even sure why she was chasing her, and yet unable to let go.

Coming around the side of the building just steps behind her mother, Haley came face to face with nothing. Brink and cement, chilly crisp air that was eerily still, but no Lydia in sight. As if she had disappeared in thin air.

"Mom!" Haley desperately called, not giving up the ghost as the empty feeling inside left her voice piercing and dry.

Sam who was hot on Haley's heels stood astounded just behind her. His whiskey eyes darting frantically around the alley trying to spot any sign of Lydia, any possible escape she could have made.

"Where'd she go?" Slipped stunned off Sam's fumbling lips as a chill ran down his spine.

Sam could hear Haley's voice continue to reach out for her mother as his whiskey orbs darted all around them, every corner of that alley and back out onto the street. Heightened alarm swept threw Sam. He didn't know what had just happened, but growing up a hunter's son he knew it was paranormal.

Wrapping a secure protective arm around Haley, Sam pulled her close. "We gotta go. We shouldn't be here." He whispered low and quiet as his lips brushed her temple, where no one, and nothing else could hear him. All of his senses on alert, Sam couldn't shake the feeling whatever they had encountered it wasn't normal, and it had left them completely out in the open, and vulnerably unprepared.

A stunned silence swept over Haley as she let Sam hold her close and lead her away. Her heart sinking with each step as the last few minutes re-played over and over in her mind. Her heart aching from yet another abandoned hope.

They met up with Dean in front of the diner, the frustration easy to detect along his tense features. "What the hell guys? I turn my back for one second and you're gone! You can't take off like that!" Dean bellowed loud with reprimand, from a heart that was still racing with fear. The kids were his responsibility, the four walls of his life, if anything ever happened to them he didn't know he'd do.

"I'm sorry Dean," Sam quickly apologized for them both as Haley stood silent and detached in his arms. "I'll explain everything in the car, but we gotta go." Sam pressed, an urgency picking up on his tone as his steady grip lead Haley and himself toward the car.

"What's going on, Sam?" Dean sternly questioned, his voice dropping low and deep as his protective eyes swept over the streets trying to spot anything that could be cause for alarm.

Dean could see it as Sam's eyes met his once again, there was panic in his little brother's pupil. Something that said without words he needed his big brother to listen. "I'll explain in the car, but we need to leave here." Sam repeated slow and methodical as his gaze barreled down on his brother with an effort to make him understand.

That look in Sammy's pupil was all the convincing Dean needed. Without another hesitation, Dean started for the car where they all piled in.

Sam stayed in the backseat with Haley. Though she never said a word the entire ride back to the motel, it was her silence at spoke volumes to Sam. His hand laced with Haley's as a source of support for her, Sam explained everything they had just witnessed. Haley taking off like she was running from a bullet. How when he found her she was next to a woman she called her mom. How the woman made some cryptic predictions about she and Sam. It was the ending that was the clincher. It was the ending that still gave Sam the chills. How Lydia had disappeared into thin air, not a trace of where she could have gone.

Dean tried to keep it cool. Keep his game face on for Sammy and Haley, but his bones were rattling with this story too. Whatever had happened to his kids out on the street today, he knew it wasn't good. Several times Dean tried to question Haley directly, but she never uttered a word in response. Her eyes never even left the same spot. That alone was enough to have Dean worried sick about what had happened to them.

"What do you mean she just disappeared? There must have been something? A sound, a smell, something." Dean pressed, his deep gritty voice finally revealing the anxiousness sweeping through him as the trio marched through the motel door. The only safe haven they had.

"I told you, Dean. There was nothing. She just vanished." Sam explained for the fiftieth time as he tossed his coat on the bed. His story never changing, but it seemed Dean felt if he just kept asking something new would come to light.

Spotting Haley standing numbly beside one of the beds like a dummy doll in a store front, Dean didn't hesitate or even consider their new distance policy before going to her. Standing before his baby girl, her gaze still never rose to meet his, and that alone terrified Dean. Her orbs held unwaveringly straight forward as if she could see through him completely. Reaching out, gently Dean hooked his scrapped up knuckle under her chin, tilting her face up slowly to meet his. When their eyes finally locked they held in a moment deeper then the crisis unfolding around them. Even threw all the pain there was a quiet healing as the look in their eyes almost seemed to touch.

"Was that really your mom, Hales? …What did she say to you? …What happened?" Dean's voice lowered and found a thick softness as he reached out to the girl he adored, who suddenly looked so sad and broken in her iris.

Haley gazed into Dean's piercing emerald eyes for a moment, her heart pounding. This was the first time he had really gotten close and touched her since they agreed to keep their distance. His approach was gentle and secure, and part of her never wanted to let him go, but Haley couldn't answer his questions. She hardly had answers herself, and even more then that she wasn't even sure she cared what happened. In that moment all that really mattered to Haley was the realization that she had really lost both her parents and she would never have them again.

The care in Dean's eyes hurt against the loss she couldn't help but feel. That look in his emerald eyes felt so intense but also comforting as Haley shrugged her shoulders, giving the only answer she could. Pulling back from his touch, Haley stepped away from Dean without so much as a syllable of explanation. Her gaze darting back out blankly to somewhere he couldn't reach.

Sam could feel it in the connection that always tied him to Haley. He had felt it since the moment they got inside the Impala. Whenever one of them was overcome by deep powerful emotion the other could always feel it and today Sam felt Haley's pain. He felt it aching in his heart as if it was his own, but all it took was one glance Haley's way to know it was hers coming through their scared connection.

"Could you give us a minute?" Sam asked his brother. With quiet begging eyes that said it was nothing person, but if they had a chance in hell of getting any answer from Haley at this point it would probably work better if it was just them.

Emerald eyes drifted to this little brother as Dean nodded silently in agreement. Understanding, Dean got it better then anyone. He understood what those two meant to each other. The way their bond went way beyond any sort of romantic attraction, and that if anyone could get her to talk it would be Sam. "Yeah, sure… I'll just go… do… something…" Dean stumbled over an excuse that never really quite formed on his tongue. Shooting his brother a silent look of good luck Dean left the room to debate over whether to call Dad now or wait to see what Sam finds out.

As the motel door such, and the silence in the room seemed the echo out, suddenly Haley came to life. Walking toward her duffle bag as if resisting Sam's attempts to get her to open up even before he had a chance to speak. Resisting the urge to admit how wounded she really was.

"What happened out there?" Sam quietly questioned Haley. His low voice carrying through the otherwise quiet room as his feet never took a step toward her. Giving her the distance he could tell she wanted.

Slinging duffle bag up with one hand, Haley threw it carelessly on the bed, giving Sam the initial brush off. "Can you believe I just realized I haven't done any laundry in over a week." Haley finally spoke up as if her words had some sort of relevance in this moment, as a cheap laugh came forced off her lips.

Sam took a slow steady step closer to her as he watched Haley start to toss her dirty cloths from her duffle bag into piles on the bed. She was avoiding this and while they shared so many deep things he wasn't entirely surprised she was trying to censor this one. Her parents, her life before him had always been a touchy subject, especially after her dad died. Sam couldn't remember the last time she had even uttered a word about her mother, but he felt positive it had been years. While Haley would never admit it, while Sam wasn't even sure she knew it fully inside of herself, he knew part of the reason she clung so tightly to him was because there was a part of her that felt like she had nothing else. "What did she say to you before I got there, Hales?" Sam questioned her softly, his voice staying steady and calm as not to rile her up more then he could see she was already on the brink of.

Tee-shirt in hand, Haley halted her work for a moment. Squeezing that shirt tighter in her grasp, she fought to wrangle the beast growing inside her. Casually Haley shrugged her shoulders to his question, before giving any answer. "Oh you know, she said I was special because of her, or whatever she has to tell herself for abandoning me. That some thing had been done to me as well. That I have to be careful with the choices I make. Blah, blah, blah… Just the same crazy crap my dad use to believe." Haley bit out, irritated anger tight on her breath as every muscle in her body visibly tensed. Her hands tossing the items of clothing a little more firmly with each word.

Watching her go on the attack Sam knew it wasn't directed at him, same way the pain in his heart that came from her wasn't about him either. She was unraveling, moments from complete melt down, he could feel it in his gut like a dam before it bursts.

"Hales…" Sam's deep voice quietly called for her, begging her to look at him, begging her to let him comfort her.

The sound of Sam's pleading voice pierced inside Haley like no one else could. Almost as if it shot off his breath and echoed into her heart. In that moment she could feel it boil over inside her. All the pain, all the rejection, all the loss from running into her mother only to watch her run away again overflowed inside Haley. "She didn't even ask if I was ok…She said she couldn't be my mom anymore. " Haley's voice dropped quiet like a whispered as she finally released the first honest words from her breaking heart since she ran into the woman who had given her life.

That quiet statement made, the power of it, the acknowledgement of what it meant unleashed everything else suffocating inside her. Hot tears Haley couldn't hold back any longer bubbled up to the surface and began silently dripping off her eyes.

Unable to contain the feelings bursting at the seams just under her skin, Haley gripped her duffle bag in a death hold before she threw it across the room with force. "She doesn't miss me! She doesn't even care about me!" Haley screamed loud and piecing from a heart that felt like it had been discarded like a piece of trash. A sob choked up her throat and slipped past her lips as rivers of tears fell from her devastated eyes.

Sam didn't waste a second before taking hold of her. His heart breaking at the sight of the girl he loved the most falling apart from a pain she couldn't bare, from a reality he couldn't save her from. Pulling her against his strong chest, Sam wrapped Haley in loving supportive arms that tried to comfort her the best he could.

Haley gasped out a sharp breath as the tears kept coming from a place that felt endless inside. It had been so long since she thought of her mother, but seeing her again had opened old deep wounds. Wounds that came from childhood days when Haley still thought her mother would return one day. When she still believed her father would find her mom and they'd be a family again. Wounds from dreams of her mother sweeping her up into her arms once again and holding her with such love the way only a mother can. Dreams Haley had given up on years ago, but that now just seemed like cruel jokes.

"Everyone leaves me… Everyone leaves…" Haley choked out the desperate words past drenched lips as the tears burns in her eyes they came so fast. Her chest stung from the intense emotion bursting from her, while Haley clung tighter to the back of Sam's flannel shirt as if it was the only thing keeping her there.

His arms tangled snuggly around her, Sam brought a steady gentle hand to her flushed cheek. Pulling her face back just enough until she could meet his eyes. The sight of her swollen, blood shot orbs threatened to shatter Sam on the spot. It always did a number on him to see her so wounded, but made his promise all that more certain. "I'm never going to leave you. Never, You got me, I promise." Sam's sensitive eyes barreled down onto Haley's tear drenched pair as he made a vow he meant with every beat of his heart.

Her tears subsided in their overflow as Haley gazed unblinking into a set of eyes that somehow always seemed to know exactly what to say, that always seemed to feel like a soul match for her own. In a moment where Haley felt like she was on her knees, Sam pulled her through yet again.

Smoothly Sam swept his thumb across her cheek with love, and offered a subtle smile of undying affection and support, before he pulled her close again giving her the love she so badly needed to be reassured of.

After Sam got Haley to calm down and his brother returned, Sam relayed what he had learned further. What he had heard from Haley's own wounded lips and what he had deduced from reading between the lines. That Lydia had told Haley she was special, something was different about her and Sam. That something had been done to her, but Sam pressed upon his brother that the revelation seemed to hurt Haley even more then it scared her. Out of a love for a girl they both adored and held close in their heart the brothers agreed to tell their father what had happened, but skirted around the fine detailing of Lydia's words. Skirted around her confession about Haley and her fears concerning her daughter and Sam.

_I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?_

_I want to know, have you ever seen the rain_

_comin' down on a sunny day?_

_Credence Clearwater Revival, "Have You Ever Seen The Rain"_

_**Note:** _So I'm just dying to know your thoughts... What do you think is going on with Haley's mom? Also I wanted to give a special thanks to everyone for their feedback! I love reading your thoughts and take on my writing! It's a true treat and all of your opinions and thoughts count! *hugs*


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